Our Reality

Chapter 85

How to help?

Ji Yushi only felt that his fingers and palms were hot, making him hardly dare touch let alone hold it.

“Ji Yushi.” Song Qinglan sounded like he was enduring with difficulty, but he still couldn’t help but tease, “You don’t know how?”

Ji Yushi, “Mhn.”

Song Qinglan immediately understood.

He gently held the other person’s pale hands, covering the back of their hand with his palm, and his voice became even hoarser, “Just…..like this.”

….Like this.

Ji Yushi didn’t have much strength left and his arms were limp. If it wasn’t for Song Qinglan guiding him, even his five fingers would have been unable to exert strength.

His heart was pounding loudly. It was even faster than when he finished off just now. The pounding in his ears felt like it was almost about to burst through his eardrums. The sensation coming from his palm was too terrifying. He laid on his back looking up. Although he actually wanted to take a look, he still covered his eyes with his arm.

After all, this was his first time doing this kind of thing. He was not much better than Song Qinglan.

They had been together for less than three days.

Were they progressing too quickly?

It was like a dream.

Ji Yushi belatedly had this thought surface in his mind when his arm was pulled away.

Song Qinglan lowered his head, his eyes heavy and deep, “Will you remember?”

“Remember what?” As soon as Ji Yushi spoke, he discovered that his voice was also very hoarse. It only contained the aftermath of just now, and also some shame.

Suddenly, and with some force, Song Qinglan’s body gave him a demonstration.

Ji Yushi’s palm felt like it was about to catch fire.

He immediately understood, “…..No!”

Song Qinglan released his hand, but he didn’t show any signs of finishing.

This time Ji Yushi could see it clearly. Blood instantly boiled inside him, and his entire body was burning from head to toe. Before he could turn his head away, he was lifted up by the waist by Song Qinglan.

“You will.” Song Qinglan panted. He brushed away the hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. Once his breathing calmed down slightly, he pressed the tip of his nose against Ji Yushi’s and rubbed against it affectionately, “How I kiss you, hug you, where and what I do, you will remember every detail, unable to forget. Isn’t that right?”

Everything Song Qinglan said was a fact.

At least, with regard to the kiss they shared in the private training room, the memories from that time would resurface again and again without a warning.

Ji Yushi’s face was completely red, but his tone was cold: “Yeah, including sore hands.”

“Then,” Song Qinglan couldn’t help laughing. He kissed his chin, “Help me a little more, just a little longer.”

Ji Yushi: “……Can I take a break?”

Song Qinglan begged in a low voice, “The arrow is already on the bow. Xiao Ji, please have mercy.”

Sitting on Song Qinglan’s lap like this, it was actually quite uncomfortable for Ji Yushi.

The loose bathrobe hung loosely from his body, covering everything except for his long legs and shoulders. His hand lowered again, “…..Mhn.”

……..

“Advisor Ji, go wash your hands.”

Song Qinglan kissed his ear like he was coaxing him and even deliberately spoke seriously.

Everywhere was a mess. The bed was crumpled to no end and clothes were strewn messily across the floor.

There was the sound of a cat scratching at the door.

It was unknown which ‘predecessor’ had been attracted over by the fierce battle just now.

Ji Yushi sprawled against Song Qinglan’s shoulder without any shame. He didn’t want to move, “Want to change the sheets.”

Song Qinglan, “You even don’t like your own?”

Ji Yushi, “Yeah, and it has yours too.”

Song Qinglan laughed, “In that case, it looks like you’re not that averse towards me.”

He picked up Ji Yushi’s bathrobe and helped wipe him down first so that this person who liked cleanliness would feel a little better.

He then said, “You go wash. I’ll change the sheets.”

*

Ji Yushi not only washed his hands, but he also took another shower. When he looked in the mirror, he saw that he had some marks on his body. They were probably left by Song Qinglan when he didn’t control his strength well. The two had no experience and they clearly hadn’t gone all the way but everything looked rather erotic and sensual when they were done, as if they really had done everything that could be done.

Helping each other out was actually nothing. Ji Yushi originally thought more would have happened.

But he had to admit that Song Qinglan’s restraint made this relationship progress at a perfect rate.

Everything was just right.

The one scratching the door was Little Black.

It was the timidest one. When Ji Yushi left the bathroom, it meowed as if it had been wronged.

Ji Yushi picked it up, petted it, fed it some snacks brought over by Song Qinglan and then returned to the room.

The smell in the room was strong.

After Song Qinglan changed the sheets, he had opened the window, but the room still faintly smelt a little despite the ventilation.

Seeing him come in, Song Qinglan let him sit down and then naturally took over the job of drying his hair with a towel.

“How many years have you lived alone?” Song Qinglan asked.

Song Qinglan had already washed his hands and found Ji Yushi’s beach shorts to wear —- It was the one he had worn to the beach when he was seventeen, the one Song Qinglan saw him wear in the transfer station. It wasn’t that there weren’t any clothes he could wear; Ji Minyue was large enough and Ji Yushi had some of his clothes, but Song Qinglan was unwilling to wear them.

Ji Yushi, “In two months it’ll be eight years. I moved out after graduating high school.”

The two had already talked about Ji Yushi’s matters before but they had only touched on it.

Song Qinglan wasn’t in the position to ask more about it back then and now that he was able to, he wanted to know everything about Ji Yushi.

Ji Yushi didn’t seem to have many friends, and he also rarely mentioned his family.

Even where he lived, he only had three cats accompanying him. Remembering that the other person had come to Jiang City alone, Song Qinglan felt very uncomfortable inside and even felt a little distressed for the Ji Yushi at the time.

Hearing this answer, Song Qinglan’s actions stopped, “Why?”

He thought of a possibility and asked, “Was the adoptive family not good to you? Or you couldn’t get used to it?”

“Neither. They treat me very well.” Ji Yushi grabbed his wrist and got him to sit down, “I moved out because I wanted to secretly join Tianqiong behind my family’s back.”

There was a red mark behind Ji Yushi’s ear.

He probably hadn’t noticed it himself, but it was very obvious from Song Qinglan’s angle. That cold and distant person with a fresh kiss mark on his pale skin, it made Song Qinglan’s throat dry.

“Secretly join Tianqiong?”

Song Qinglan continued to dry Ji Yushi’s hair while sitting down.

Ji Yushi made a sound of affirmation. He told him the reason, “My teacher, who is also my adoptive father, as well as my adoptive mother are against me being involved with work related to ‘time’ and even my university majors cannot be related so they would naturally be against me joining Tianqiong. I used the excuse of moving out to have more peace and quiet and at the same time deliberately enrolled in more majors to pretend to be busy, but I was in fact preparing to join Tianqiong the entire time. With Ji Minyue covering for me, it went well.”

It seems that Ji Yushi can lie very well.

Except for Song Qinglan, everyone else would have probably been deceived by his appearance and thus fooled by him.

Song Qinglan frowned, “Why didn’t they want you involved with work relating to ‘time’?”

Ji Yushi was silent for a moment.

He then raised his head and said to Song Qinglan, “I had a period of cognitive dysfunction when I was a child.”

Song Qinglan’s actions completely stopped.

Ji Yushi didn’t speak with any pessimism and just spoke of the facts like a bystander, “Including learning disability, not being able to speak or recognise people and the likes, I couldn’t distinguish between my memory and reality. That is to say, I didn’t know what had already happened and what had never happened. With reality and memory playing at the same time in my mind, it caused me to make repeated actions, be unable to recognise familiar things and be unable to understand what others were saying.”

“…….How long?”

Song Qinglan’s voice sounded like gravel grinding against each other.

“You don’t have to worry. It’s all in the past.”

Ji Yushi grabbed his hand and gently squeezed it. His eyes were half lowered, “About three years.”

“The doctors in the Paediatric Department all said that my situation was hopeless, that I would probably never be able to escape from the shadows. What’s more, the caudate nucleus and frontal lobe had some abnormalities resulting in me being unable to distinguish reality yet be able to clearly remember everything that happened since I was an infant. Teacher is a psychologist and a good friend of my father’s. After adopting me, he quit his job and spend three years at home with me together with my adoptive mother.”

As long as it is something I have experienced, it doesn’t make any difference whether I have experienced it once or countless times. In other words, I am just like you. I am going through this again after the first time.

—– Song Qinglan suddenly remembered the words Ji Yushi said to him at the bookstore.

The seemingly plain description, the seemingly insignificant illness.

Some even jokingly called it a superpower.

No one knew how much torment must have been concealed behind those words.

That was why Ji Yushi once said that without his teacher, there wouldn’t be the current him.

Song Qinglan understood: “They were against you joining Tianqiong because they were afraid of you being involved with work related to ‘time’ and your condition relapsing.”

Ji Yushi, “Yes.”

The two hands held each other more tightly.

Song Qinglan couldn’t help but ask, “Then, have you had anything similar happen again after that?”

Before they met, Ji Yushi had alone completed 89 B-level missions, so he had gone back to the past at least 89 times. This was even excluding the ones which required him to go back several times.

Unlike Guardians, in order to minimise their presence in history, Recorders do not work in a team and would always act alone. If anything went wrong with Ji Yushi during those times…..Song Qinglan didn’t dare think about it.

“Occasionally, but it wasn’t serious.” Ji Yushi responded, “When we repeated Ouroboros the first time, I once suspected that it was a case of memory overload.”

Song Qinglan’s expression changed.

At that time, outside the park management office, he had even specially found Ji Yushi to talk and questioned rather critically Ji Yushi’s psychological endurance.

Ji Yushi’s answer was —- “It might not be so good.”

After he left, Ji Yushi was the last to reach the park management office. His face was very pale and he had asked Song Qinglan to help twist open a bottle cap.

Regardless of whether Ji Yushi would really have difficulty opening a bottle with his combative abilities, everyone at the time shared the same thought and felt that Ji Yushi was so weak that he couldn’t even open a bottle.

The more he thought about it, the darker Song Qinglan’s expression became. His heart felt like there was a tear in it.

What he owed from that time had sure enough returned to bite him.

“Your medicine.” Song Qinglan quickly thought of something, “Your medicine is not only used to clear your thoughts and refresh your mind, but you are also dependent on it, isn’t that right?”

Ji Yushi silently acquiesced.

He had always carried the box of medicine around with him, never leaving his side.

Relying on these pills, he could reduce the number of occasions his memories would replay in his mind and reduce the repetitive dreams, allowing him to fall asleep more easily.

But there were also quite a lot of side effects that followed. In addition to dependence, there was also his face becoming pale, sudden weakness as well as sudden feeling of despair and other negative emotions.

Song Qinglan’s voice was low, “When I called you just now, you were about to take the medicine.”

Ji Yushi was startled.

How did Song Qinglan know?

But he soon remembered that Song Qinglan had gone to the bathroom to shower after packing everything away. He probably saw the bottle of medicine he had left on the counter.

Song Qinglan got out of bed and went to the bathroom. When he returned, he had the bottle of medicine in his hand.

He asked, “Have you taken one tonight yet?”

Ji Yushi said, “Haven’t taken it yet.”

Song Qinglan sat back down on the edge of the bed, causing the mattress to sink. Along the way, he reached out and pulled Ji Yushi over.

Men shouldn’t be so clingy like this, but he still insisted on holding Ji Yushi like he was some sort of treasure.

Ji Yushi sat in his lap a little awkwardly with his arms around Song Qinglan’s neck.

Seeing his serious expression, he lowered his head and kissed him “Why?”

Song Qinglan, “It seems that I was right to take your medicine.”

Ji Yushi had a bad feeling, “…….”

Sure enough, Song Qinglan said, “I’ll hold onto this bottle of medicine first. When you really need it, you can take it. Let’s not abuse it too much. You should try becoming less dependent on it.”

Ji Yushi put up some struggle, “I don’t always take it. I didn’t take much in Rubik’s Cube.”

It was better if he hadn’t mentioned it.

As soon as this was mentioned, Song Qinglan’s face became even darker.

In Rubik’s Cube, Ji Yushi had not only refused to listen to dissuasion and insisted on clearing the mission, making him go through room after room in search for him, but after the mission was cleared, he even ran off without a word with no intentions to return.

Under the influence of the medicine, a calm person would suddenly become resolute. The consequences were unimaginable.

“No.” Song Qinglan said, “Advisor Ji, you now have family. In the future, your family will have the final say on this matter.”