First Audition (2)

 To be honest, at first, it felt pretty good.

 

Despite being nervous, my body didn’t shake and did its job well.

 

‘And this time, I even have a cheat sheet.’

 

The commercial I saw in my previous life came back to me with remarkable clarity. I remembered Kim Jung-ha’s acting and the performance of the child actor, Lee Ji-yeon, as if they were etched into my mind.

 

I can do this.

 

This should be fine.

 

Thinking optimistically like that, I went into the shoot.

 

‘...Something’s off.’

 

The girl on camera was lively and full of energy, unlike myself. However, it was still clearly ‘Ju Seo-yeon.’

 

This meant that my RP (role-playing) or acting wasn’t up to par.

 

‘What’s the problem?’

 

Even after thinking it over, I couldn’t figure it out. I had never formally studied acting; all I had done was mimic children’s shows and exercises.

 

Although I had acted out characters in my imagination, I had never directly filmed and reviewed it.

 

“Hmmm…”

 

Director Cho Min-tae also had a worried look on his face.

 

“Honestly, it could work as it is.”

 

He responded to my suggestion to re-shoot.

 

“Frankly speaking, there isn’t a significant issue. Right?”

 

“Ah, yes.”

 

“I honestly can’t pinpoint what’s wrong.”

 

“Just… it feels a bit off.”

 

A staff member made a casual comment, but it struck a chord with me. Something felt off.

 

‘Yeah, that’s it. There’s an odd feeling.’

 

Why is that? As I stared at the video intently, someone tapped my shoulder.

 

“Ms. Kim Jung-ha?”

 

“Um… well…”

 

She seemed hesitant to speak, as if questioning her right to say anything.

 

Some staff members shook their heads at her. Despite her good performance in this scene, she had shown inconsistent results previously.

 

It might have seemed presumptuous for her to give advice after just one decent performance. But I knew better.

 

Kim Jung-ha was a future ten-million-ticket-selling actress, recognized for her talent by millions.

 

“Ms. Kim Jung-ha.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I’ve never properly learned acting.”

 

At my words, her eyes blinked in surprise. She might have thought I was boasting.

 

“So, of course, I have a lot of shortcomings. If you notice anything off, please let me know.”

 

I learned something during my time working: if you don’t know something, ask. That saying doesn’t always hold in the workplace.

 

‘Figure it out on your own,’ was what my boss often said.

 

But Kim Jung-ha wasn’t my old boss.

 

Well, she did have the same last name, but at least Kim Jung-ha wouldn’t yell at me for asking questions.

 

She wasn’t stupid. She must have known that unsolicited advice could be met with ridicule, given her recent performances.

 

Still, she tried to tell me something. So, I wanted to hear what she had to say.

 

“…This is really just my personal opinion.”

 

My words seemed to reach her as she stammered a bit.

 

“Seo-yeon, your emotional acting is incredible. It’s amazing for someone your age. Honestly, I can’t even come close.”

 

With trembling hands, she pointed to the replaying video.

 

“But emotional acting alone can’t convey everything on a small TV screen.”

 

Her words made my eyes widen.

 

‘Oh.’

 

I understood what she was trying to say.

 

Cho Min-tae also let out a small exclamation.

 

“Yes, exactly. That’s the feeling. Seo-yeon, you said you’ve never learned acting?”

 

“…Yes.”

 

“That explains it. It shows here.”

 

I felt a bit embarrassed by his comment. It made me feel like an amateur, blindly diving into something without proper knowledge.

 

‘Acting isn’t just about emotions.’

 

And honestly, I didn’t fully grasp why everyone praised my emotional acting. Maybe it’s because it was my own performance, or maybe I had an issue with self-awareness.

 

But I understood the problem.

 

‘Gestures.’

 

Acting isn’t solely about emotions.

 

Tone, inflection, and the movements that accompany them.

 

These all come together to create a performance.

 

I had only been relying on emotions and mimicking the movements from my memory of the previous child actor, Lee Ji-yeon.

 

Naturally, it didn’t fully align with me. It might have looked competent individually, but wasn’t a complete representation of my own acting.

 

‘But.’

 

I had little experience in using my body in acting.

 

“…Would it be okay if I showed you a few things? I feel a bit more confident about this.”

 

Hesitantly, Kim Jung-ha offered. As a future ten-million-ticket-selling actress, her advice was something I should obviously accept.

 

“Of course. I’d appreciate it if you could teach me.”

 

Emotional acting is most powerful on the big screen, where the vast visuals and sound can deeply move people.

 

But on a TV or computer screen, the impact is lessened compared to a theater.

 

To compensate for that, visual acting is crucial.

 

“So, in this part, you should…”

 

Even though we had to re-shoot, none of the staff complained. They simply watched as Kim Jung-ha demonstrated various gestures and movements to me.

 

An hour passed. Then two hours.

 

“Okay, let’s start filming again!”

 

It was evening by the time we finally resumed shooting.

 

Standing with Kim Jung-ha on set again, I felt my body tremble. Nervousness and anxiety. Emotions I hadn’t felt during the audition now overwhelmed me.

 

‘Can I do this?’

 

I wasn’t sure.

 

What I had just learned barely scratched the surface. It was a temporary fix for this CF.

 

‘But.’

 

I looked at the camera.

 

I saw Cho Min-tae’s mouth moving to give the cue sign.

 

And then.

 

“…Director Cho.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“This is going to benefit the advertiser way too much. It’s absurd.”

 

My first filming ended like that.

 

***

 

“Mom, you said I’d get it.”

 

“Ji-yeon, don’t worry too much. There will be more auditions.”

 

“But still~~!”

 

Hong Jin-hee sighed at her daughter’s deflated demeanor after failing the audition. It had been several months since then.

 

‘Who ended up getting that role anyway?’

 

Although she grumbled, she had an idea of who it might be. That quiet child sitting alone.

 

The one who remained calm while all the other kids were nervous.

 

‘It must have been her. Probably pre-selected.’

 

That’s why she wasn’t nervous.

 

‘I’ve heard it happens sometimes, but… it’s frustrating.’

 

She believed her daughter lost the role due to a pre-selection. The cute girl she remembered must have been chosen because of her looks.

 

Hong Jin-hee consoled her daughter with these thoughts.

 

“Our lovely daughter, you’ll be starting kindergarten soon, so stop crying.”

 

“Hmph.”

 

“Come on, it’s time for Pingping, your favorite show.”

 

She turned on the TV to distract her daughter, who often whined about the failed audition.

 

“Huh?”

 

As they waited for Pingping to start, a commercial came on.

 

“Mom.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I think I’ve seen her before.”

 

Jin-hee nodded at her daughter’s comment. She had the same thought.

 

It was a soy milk commercial for a new brand they hadn’t heard of.

 

“Sis! Is this milk?”

 

It started with a long-haired girl pouting. Then, a lively woman appeared, wagging her finger.

 

“No way. It’s soy milk I bought for you.”

 

“Soy milk?”

 

The girl held the soy milk, closed her eyes tightly, and sucked on the straw. Her sidelong glances at her sister were irresistibly cute.

 

“Wow! It’s sweet!”

 

The colors brightened, and the girl’s face lit up. She bounced energetically, making it hard to take your eyes off her.

 

In the vibrant colors, she bounced around brightly, and the benefits of soy milk were naturally highlighted as the girl’s face was shown in close-up.

 

Bang-!

 

The bold text Pure Soy Milk appeared at the end.

 

“Mom.”

 

By the time Jin-hee came to her senses, her daughter Ji-yeon was tugging at her sleeve. From her daughter’s sulky face, it seemed she had been calling her for a while.

 

‘That’s why.’

 

Jin-hee realized why her daughter hadn’t gotten the role.

 

‘That’s why we lost.’

 

She adored her daughter, but she couldn’t imagine her performing like that.

 

***

 

I was exhausted.

 

My mom dragged me out early in the morning.

 

“Mom, I’m hypotensive...”

 

“Oh, come on, Seo-yeon. You’re not hypotensive.”

 

Well, she wasn’t wrong, but I hated moving in the morning, having been severely hypotensive in my previous life.

 

“And Seo-yeon, you need to get used to waking up early since you’ll be going to kindergarten soon.”

 

“Kindergarten…”

 

Just the name made me not want to go. Such a pointless, tedious place.

 

Ju Seo-yeon, age six.

 

I was starting to wish time would speed up. At least middle and high school would be more interesting. But kindergarten?

 

“Mom, we don’t have to rush.”

 

Rubbing my eyes, I told my mom. My mom, Suah, frowned as if questioning what I was saying.

 

“We would have left earlier if our pretty daughter hadn’t slept until the sun was high in the sky.”

 

“…”

 

Well, I understood why she was nagging me. She had been like this since yesterday.

 

‘Since we watched the CF yesterday.’

 

Yesterday was the debut of the CF we had filmed months ago. Mom had been recording it diligently, hugging me tightly while calling me a genius.

 

‘They’ll have plenty of stock.’

 

Pure Soy Milk from Garam Dream was a product that sold moderately well. It wasn’t a hot seller but sold decently thanks to Kim Jung-ha’s commercial.

 

‘How much soy milk can people buy?’

 

Even the local store was quite large, so they should have had plenty of stock.

 

Or so I thought.

 

“…Sold out?”

 

“Yes, it all sold out in the morning. I should have stocked more.”

 

The store lady’s words made my mom turn her eyes on me with a look of deep resentment.

 

I never imagined it would sell out.