I Have Returned, but I Cannot Lay down My Gun
Chapter 52 Table of contents

"…Guys. I'm seriously thinking about changing my streaming hours until the tournament ranking ends. Or maybe I should take a break when that person is playing."

Game over.

The colors slowly faded from the screen. It was as if his soul had left his body, and now he stood, looking down at what used to be himself. The black-and-white screen, signifying death, filled his vision.

A brutally dead body. Next to it, the words "2/100," indicating second place, were clearly displayed, along with a notification that a small amount of RP had been gained, due to the nature of a battle royale where a hundred players compete at once.

Even though his rank hadn’t dropped, he slumped deep into the chair in his private booth and covered his face with both hands.

"Ugh…."

Yujin.

He wasn’t unaware of her. Being a streamer himself, he had to stay informed about the community, especially when it came to the battle royale genre, his main content.

As always, the rank distribution in ranked matches followed a diamond shape, meaning that as one climbed higher, the pool of players became smaller.

In simple terms, it became easier to run into the same people again and again.

If one side was lacking in skill or vastly superior, these unfortunate encounters might have been avoidable or not happened at all. But the fact that they kept happening up to now was the real issue.

Moreover, it couldn’t even be called stream sniping.

If someone had deliberately sought him out just to kill him or donate items while engaged in combat, they would deserve criticism, maybe even outright condemnation. But recently, the times when Kato encountered Yujin…

It was almost always within the top 5, often resulting in a one-on-one match between Yujin and Kato.

Due to the nature of battle royales, it was impossible to avoid encountering each other, and if this were stream sniping… considering the effort needed to consistently make it into the final five, that too would be insane.

So, stream sniping was out of the question.

At this level, changing his streaming hours just to avoid a single player seemed excessive. But forcing himself to continue despite knowing what would happen if they met again was also harsh.

Just now, how had he died? As soon as the distance narrowed, a thrown dagger had struck him in the face, sending him to the afterlife highway.

They had ended up in the same match about seven times so far… but could anyone remain indifferent if a fishbone got stuck in their throat seven times while eating?

And so, he shouted out, filled with unanswered questions.

"Seriously, what’s this person’s deal? I've never felt a wall like this while grinding Apex ranks. The highest tier here has this weird quality—there’s no eternal number one."

The avatar's movements are directly influenced by the person controlling it.

Much more than what can be done with a keyboard and mouse.

Therefore, the rankings at the highest tier constantly circulated.

Because the physical abilities of a person can create far more variables than reflexes, reaction time, aiming skills, or game sense.

In other words, this means that even a former pro gamer at Tier 2 could suddenly be utterly crushed due to a random mistake.

But…

"…Is that person really a soldier? Or was a soldier? This is ridiculous."

That person doesn’t care about ups and downs; with her insane physical abilities, she easily overcomes any opponents standing in her way.

Maybe that person… is from the infamous North American server?

The place where only the strong survive, and the top ranks are filled with former soldiers, PMC operators, and people suspected of being tactical consultants?

Of course, I heard Yujin only started playing recently. Dark Zone is a game where every play record is stored, so if she came from North America, there would have been talk about it by now.

His fingers were itching.

If he encountered her a couple more times and ended up dying in ways he couldn’t even imagine… he might not be able to resist sending her a friend request out of sheer curiosity and desperation.

And if he ended up dying a few more times after that, he might end up scribbling a 5,700-character-long message begging for mercy.

Somehow, that future didn’t feel so far off.

Meanwhile, at that moment,

Thud!

"…Tsk."

An unnecessarily cheerful sound.

The character failed to control their jump height and hit a wall, falling down with an annoyingly trivial effect, followed by several screen changes before they fell all the way down.

Watching the character get up as if nothing had happened, Yujin took a small breath and frowned in discomfort.

The game hadn’t even started yet. As the tier goes higher, there are fewer players, so the matching time lengthens.

"This game is really awful."

Yujin was holding back the creeping frustration while playing the game Harmony had recommended.

It was summer.

"Teacher! Long time no see! How did you grow so much in less than two weeks since you started streaming?"

"Indeed. I wonder who I have to thank for that."

"Uh… Me?"

A few days later.

Before starting the stream, while sitting in the private booth chair, pondering what to do today, Harmony, who was set as a friend, suddenly barged in.

It was such an unexpected event that she couldn’t find the right words, but then she realized this wasn’t during a stream and relaxed her tone a bit.

Harmony, who had casually conjured up a chair and sat next to me, looked quite curious.

"By the way, is it okay if I still call you Teacher?"

"We haven’t gamed together in a while, so feel free to call me Yujin."

"That sounds better, doesn’t it?"

After a brief moment of hesitation, she added with a smile.

"Then when it’s just the two of us, just call me Harmony. No need to add 'Miss' or anything."

"Alright, I’ll do that."

A brief silence followed by some light conversation.

She spoke first.

"How’s streaming going for you?"

"It’s not as difficult as I thought it would be. But… it still feels a bit overwhelming, having so many people watching. That part I’m still getting used to."

"That’s probably because you haven’t been streaming for long. If you plan to continue, try diversifying your content. Viewers get bored if you keep showing them the same thing."

As I pondered her reasonable advice, I had a sudden thought.

Grabbing her soft cheeks with both hands and stretching them out, I said,

"So that’s why you recommended those kinds of games?"

"Ah, aaah! Aahyaahaaa!"

The common feature of all the games she recommended was that a single mistake would send my character plummeting into the abyss.

Each time that happened, the chat would fill with bizarre messages like "Back to square one, Pikachu!" and I would despair, realizing I had returned to a familiar place once again.

What do you call this… a roguelike?

It might not be exactly the same, but the way everything I had built up came crashing down with one mistake seemed pretty similar.

As a bonus, I learned that I’m not particularly good at these types of games.

"Aah… I watched it on a video donation. It was so funny I rewatched it a few times, but it was a shame you only played it in between matchmakings. Maybe you could play it as a warm-up game?"

"…Did you really enjoy it that much?"

"Yes!"

Should I just kick her out?

That impulse, though not quite an impulse, rose to the top of my head, but I was a modern, civilized person. I couldn’t just send someone packing over their personal taste.

Anyway, I got a rough idea of this minty cat’s peculiar preferences.

In the meantime, she continued speaking.

"Games like these are usually like that. They’re super difficult at first, but once you get the hang of it, they’re manageable. I’ve played so many of them that I can clear ones I’ve done before pretty easily now."

"Good for you."

"…Ugh, whenever I tell people I play these kinds of games, they all give me that same look…."

From my perspective, I’m not sure what other reaction she expected… But still, it was a pretty appropriate game to play while waiting for matchmaking.

Even if you had to climb back up after falling to the bottom, it didn’t really matter when a ranked game started. Of course, when I reopened the game, I would sigh, but still.

"By the way, you’re way better at Dark Zone than I thought! I found even the main missions a bit difficult, but you’ve already climbed so high?"

"I think it took a bit more than ten days… I just started playing mindlessly, thinking I’d give esports a try, and somehow ended up here. I didn’t mention this on stream."

"Hehe, right. If you had said that, everyone would’ve gone full roast mode."

After waving her hands for a moment, she showed me something.

"You might not be that interested, but here’s an update on the legal proceedings against that sniper. I wanted to let you know today."

"Oh, that… Is it going well? Have you been okay mentally since then?"

"Yes, thankfully. I used to wake up a bit at night during the first few days, but after a few more, it settled down."

There were a lot of technical terms, but to summarize, it was simple.

The case had been processed correctly, the police had sent a summons via registered mail, and according to the lawyer, the punishment would be severe because it involved breaking the law related to streaming Dark Zone.

In a way, this could be seen as poetic justice. It was also fortunate that she didn’t have to face the perpetrator directly, thanks to having legal representation.

"Everyone’s telling me not to settle. Plus, after some research, it turns out they were a habitual sniper… It doesn’t look good for them."

"Are you okay with all this?"

"I’m trying not to dwell on it. If someone commits a crime, they should be punished. That’s all there is to it. Deciding the punishment is for the legal professionals, not me, right?"

She had a point.

I might also be considered a party involved in the incident, but if she, the direct victim, said so, there wasn’t much else to say.

And so, we continued with trivial conversations.

There was still some time before the stream would start, and our small talk eventually led to the idea of celebrating my streamer debut with a Dark Zone collab.

Since there was no reason not to, I agreed readily, and at that moment, a message suddenly popped up.

It was a Dark Zone message.

"Hold on. Something just came in."

Clicking on it, a brief message popped up.

"Is this something I shouldn’t be seeing?"

"Ah, no, it’s not like that…."

Maybe it’s karma.

I couldn’t bring myself to say that out loud.

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