I Have Returned, but I Cannot Lay down My Gun
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Chapter 64 Table of contents

-[Alert: Message received from 'SSM Management'.]

-[Alert: Displaying full message.]

[Hello, Dice. This is Shinwoo Kim, Assistant Manager of the AP Division at SSM Entertainment.

To get straight to the point, we reviewed the wildcard you submitted at the end of yesterday's scrim, but I must inform you that it is currently under internal review rather than being immediately approved.

Given the authority typically granted to main roster players, I can understand that you might be surprised by this delay. Therefore, I’ve attached the meeting transcript and script as files for your reference.

In case you’re unable to review the full documents, here’s a summary:

-Username 'Eugene' participated in the scrim just one week before its conclusion, and thus, the AP Division management lacks confidence in whether this user can consistently produce outstanding results due to insufficient data.

-While the roster sizes for each sub-league (3rd, 2nd, 1st) in the AP soloing division are somewhat flexible, the nature of the scrim season’s end unfortunately means that the budget allocated to SSM Entertainment’s roster is at a point where we cannot accommodate any additional wildcards.

-An unusual short-term contract was discussed; however, it is estimated that at least one aspect related to the contract duration or salary distribution would not meet the conditions that SSM Entertainment could feasibly offer.

That said, regardless of the approval status of the user, you will be awarded the wildcard usage bonus as specified in your contract.

We acknowledge that this issue stems from the AP Division’s failure to communicate SSM Entertainment’s roster situation to you in advance, and we sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

Additionally, your wildcard proposal remains at the top of the list, and further discussions will be held to consider the possibility of contracting the user as an external temporary coach or mercenary once sufficient data has been collected.

If possible, we would greatly appreciate it if you could remind the user of this during your next consultation.

Thank you for always bringing prestige to SSM Entertainment.

DICE.]**

"…Of course."

Professional teams do not take risks.

This saying, which anyone working in the esports industry has likely heard in passing, once again proved its relevance in the most frustrating way—at least, that’s what Dice thought.

In modern society, one of the most well-known methods of stress relief was gaming, which meant that professional teams always had access to a stable and vast talent pool.

However, the opportunities teams could offer were limited, and sometimes, those opportunities weren’t available at all.

Moreover, while the perspectives of professional gamers and management sometimes aligned, there were plenty of instances when they did not.

For those who had experienced Yujin’s skill firsthand in direct combat, the decision was baffling, but the team… likely wanted more concrete evidence.

The fact that Yujin had only been playing Apex Predator for less than two weeks and the ambiguity surrounding her previous VR FPS experience—unfortunately, these were areas where skill alone couldn’t fully address the concerns.

From that perspective, the mention of contracting Yujin as an external temporary coach or mercenary was an indication that SSM both respected Dice’s judgment and harbored some interest in Yujin themselves.

As her golden hair splayed out over the crumpled bedsheets, Dice let out a small sigh, her drowsiness dispelled by the message’s contents as she mentally prepared for her upcoming schedule.

There were six days left until the qualifier rankings. Today, too, there was a scrim scheduled, though it would be pushed back a bit since there had been one yesterday.

Yujin was offline, but despite her apparent lack of enthusiasm for turning professional, they had exchanged phone numbers and engram codes, so contact was certainly possible.

That being said, the fact that she had no interest in going pro… should that be considered fortunate or unfortunate?

9:20 AM.

Today’s scrim was scheduled from 1:30 PM to 6:00 PM.

"…Ah, my neck."

The second consultation with Yujin was set to take place in virtual reality, but neglecting physical self-care would inevitably lead to an overall decline in condition.

Being able to assess one’s own state was a necessary skill for a professional gamer.

Of course, despite the grand terminology, this just meant a morning shower.

And so, Dice’s morning began in this fashion.

Yesterday had been quite a busy day.

To be more specific, after the scrim, she had to sweat through numerous conversations explaining to those who had picked her why she wasn’t interested in becoming a professional gamer. And it wasn’t just one or two; the number had easily reached double digits.

What surprised her in the process was their level of information gathering and deductive reasoning. Despite only participating in the scrim for the first time that day, they had already pieced together everything she had previously said and deduced a surprising amount during the consultations.

Some teams had even approached her with offers that catered to her lack of interest in broadcasting or turning pro for the sake of financial security or fame.

In the end, she had uniformly declined all offers.

Excessive greed always leads to trouble. The role of a streamer she had chosen still didn’t have clearly defined boundaries in terms of the pressure it would place on her, so making a decision now felt premature.

Besides, the choice was obviously hers to make. If she had declined after gaining substantial benefits from these teams, there might have been backlash, but the scrim itself was open to any player above Tier 2.

Anyway, there was little time left before the qualifier rankings—not the tournament rankings—began.

Despite declining the offers, she still planned to continue participating in the scrims. Several teams had already contacted her again, asking if she would be interested in working as a temporary advisor or a part-time coach.

Whether or not she belonged to a team, it was beneficial for not only herself but also the esports community as a whole to participate.

The ones who might dislike this the most… would probably be her 4,000 or so regular viewers who were still waiting for her stream.

Come to think of it, how should she communicate this to them?

Setting up a personal community on Tricky wouldn’t be a bad idea.

As she pondered these thoughts and sat in her chair for a moment…

-Click.

"Oh, have you been waiting long?"

"No, it’s fine. Have a seat."

Dice, the professional gamer she had recently become more familiar with and the only one she had contacted personally, entered the room and sat down.

How should she put it? The avatar in the VR world was different from reality in some ways, but in others, it was remarkably realistic. The way the golden hair shimmered in the sunlight was something else….

One unfortunate aspect was that it had become harder to simply admire this person’s appearance. At first glance, it was impossible to tell if this person was male or female.

The waiting time hadn’t been long, and it didn’t take much time to get down to business either.

Dice opened her mouth with an apologetic expression.

"…As you may have seen in the message, yes, unfortunately, SSM is going through a tough time right now. Still, I can’t imagine you going to another team, Yujin."

"I declined all the offers. So, you don’t need to feel too bad. Things don’t always go as planned, do they?"

"It really seems that way. Sigh…."

With a wave of her hand, the thousands of words floating in the air collapsed, scattering like glass marbles in zero gravity before dissolving into nothingness.

Dice, who had been groaning with her face buried in the desk, added:

"Anyway, since you’ve read the message… what do you think about working as a mercenary or a temporary coach? The contract period wouldn’t be that long… Sigh, as if that would work. Other teams are probably offering better terms already."

"…Is it common here for professional gamers to handle tasks usually reserved for management?"

"Uh, only for pros who focus on solo PvP. Since we’re not playing team games, individual skills and decisions are more important. The wildcard and pickup culture are extensions of that, unique to this area."

The conversation continued.

Just as she had chosen Dice first, Dice wasn’t one to miss an opportunity and gently pushed her agenda.

Yujin didn’t consider herself particularly sociable, but the conversation they were having felt warmer and more personal than a mere professional interaction. Perhaps it was the private nature of the setting.

If Dice had no interest in her at all, she would have just relayed SSM’s requests via message. Whether Yujin accepted or not wouldn’t have mattered to Dice in that case.

Her thoughts trailed on.

In any case, this wasn’t a bad situation for her. Whether by chance or design, interacting positively with professionals who possessed specialized knowledge was always a good thing, and it seemed Dice had found her quite impressive.

From that perspective, there wasn’t much reason to outright reject her proposal.

"Anyway, I’ll think about the offer. When do you need an answer by?"

"…What? You’re not rejecting it? You’re considering it?"

"As long as it doesn’t interfere too much with my daily life, I think it could be worth experiencing at least once. It’s more of a personal curiosity. I’m interested in how professional gamers or those aiming to be professionals operate."

"Uh, that’s… I didn’t expect that answer…?"

The fact that the one who made the offer was surprised revealed how low their expectations had been.

Setting aside the thought that maybe she had been too firm in her previous rejections, Yujin reviewed the important points from the email Dice had sent.

It wasn’t a long-term contract, and it wasn’t about being hired for significant achievements like winning championships. The compensation wasn’t substantial, but the offer clearly stated that they would ensure her autonomy and convenience in many areas, which was a plus.

However, it wasn’t something she was ready to decide immediately, so she planned to make a more informed decision later.

"What’s the atmosphere like at the team?"

"Well… it’s not much different from other places. If anything, we have a larger lower-league system than most…?"

"Lower leagues, as in the 2nd or 3rd divisions?"

"Yeah, but… I’m not too sure. I hate to admit it, but I’ve rarely stepped out of the 1st division. I’m pretty confident in my skills…."

Oh right, she had mentioned she was in the 1st division.

I had forgotten.

"…If I hadn’t run into someone suspiciously good who suddenly joined the scrim, I would’ve been preparing for the tournament smoothly."

"Yeah, who could that have been?"

"Wow. You’re really annoying…."

Her expression was quite exasperated, but there wasn’t much she could do about it….

The next non-question was about her VR FPS skills, and she had to maintain a certain level of silence here.

Still, curiosity about this area was often treated as a "personal trump card," and Dice didn’t press further, instead shifting the topic.

"Anyway… there’s still some time before the scrim. Do you have any plans?"

"Nothing specific. I’ve already eaten, so I was just planning to join when the time came."

"Perfect timing, then."

With practiced ease, Dice sent her a message.

It was… a session invitation.

The mission name boldly declared it to be the highest difficulty level.

"…What’s this?"

"It’s one of my secret training methods, running solo missions on the highest difficulty. How should I put it, the goal is to frequently encounter and adapt to extremely unfair situations…."

"So, I just need to press the join button?"

"…Yes. I like how quickly you catch on."

She nodded, and soon the environment around them changed.

Perhaps because of the avatar, it felt strangely refined for an invitation to a battlefield filled with explosions and gunfire.

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