It’s an emergency.

I’m suffering from a severe case of touch starvation, dying a little inside. This condition arises when one is accustomed to an excess of touch and then suddenly, the supply is cut off.

The main symptoms include anxiety, restlessness, and panic.

Why has the supply been cut off?

“…I won’t play with you.”

“Gasp.”

“I was so worried and incredibly sad, but I won’t play with a fool who only flirts and plays with Yuri behind my back—!!”

“Wail.”

The main supplier, President Yu of Purple Tower Co., declared a trade halt due to a minor misunderstanding. However, I can’t help but feel it’s a bit unfair.

We fought fiercely on the inside, and sure, there was a bit of flirting, but is it really something to be this upset and angry about?

Moreover, I’ve explained that due to certain circumstances, Yuri’s tender feelings have been scorched to a crisp. I even demonstrated it in front of him.

“Look, Lord of the Tower. If I try to hold Yuri’s hand like this.”

“……..”

Swoosh.

Pingballez deftly slid away, avoiding my touch. Now, we’ve become so distant that even our hands… can’t reach each other.

I must carefully close the distance again. But having advanced so passionately with touch, I can’t seem to grasp the normal pace.

Thinking back, we clashed lips at our first meeting, should we start with that again this time?

Impossible.

But I can’t think of anything before holding hands… As I ponder with a gloomy expression, Yuna puffs up her cheeks as if she’s truly aggrieved to death.

“Get out──!!”

She swings her Yuna Punch (packed with magic, it really hurts) and drives me out.

Why did she explode?

Is Yuri drifting away from me such a sorrowful matter…?

Given these circumstances, it’s been two weeks already… I haven’t been able to touch anyone.

After rubbing skin with what felt like family, hugging and embracing in every way, it’s like a lie that it’s all disappeared, and I feel like I’m dying from withdrawal. Where is the warmth…?

I’m walking through winter…

—

I need someone to consult. I can’t think of a way out of this predicament. So, I must seek advice from a master of love.

I trudged through the academy.

They say if three walk together, one of them is my teacher; surely, in this vast academy teeming with all sorts of people, there must be at least one master of love?

Then, I met the one-eyed Viking.

“Anchovy! I haven’t seen your face around lately, and now we finally meet. I’ve arranged to have a drink at the tavern with Alejandro today, care to join?”

I swear, it would be more beneficial to do a one-day Druid experience than to seek advice from him. Just ask the nearby bushes. How to charm a lady, that is.

The rustling of those leaves would be more productive than a loner’s advice.

“Rejected.”

“???”

At my declaration of rejection, Alexson looked at me as if I were crazy, but then he nodded, realizing that he had always been a bit off.

He pondered whether to hit me on the head as he passed by or to explain a bit more out of the camaraderie among the male professors. True to his nature as a man of strong bonds, he chose the latter.

“This time, the Nightingale Tavern is adopting the advanced culture of Crown Hall, and they’ve made new waitress outfits. That’s why I’m going to see them.”

“Then I’ll go… no, I won’t.”

The memory of my resolve to visit the taverns with short skirts and pinball machines passed through my mind, and my mood plummeted. If I were still close with her, I might have gone to see the new waitress outfits together…

Seeing my face, Alexson asked with concern.

“Your expression is completely rotten. What’s wrong?”

“It’s a love problem.”

“Ah, so that’s why you’re rejected… this damn guy.”

Thump.

I ended up getting hit.

—

I ran into Zektower on the street. As I looked at her intently, Selvier crossed her arms and drew a firm line.

“I won’t hang your laundry, Professor.”

“That’s fine, but…”

Selvier has the qualities of an advisor. Didn’t she calm my panic state last time? So maybe this time too…?

But her view on love seems to be made of dreams and sugar, a carefree structure.

At her age, she’s still waiting for a childhood friend like a prince from a fairy tale. So, in the end, she’s never been in love. But asking about the heart of a woman… no, maybe I know it better.

As I looked at her, pondering, she also stared at my face with a puzzled expression and suddenly asked.

“…Professor, did you put on makeup?”

“? Why are you trying to hit on me?”

“Argh, geez…! It’s not like that, I’m just asking. Your face looks a bit more matte today.”

“Do you not see this expression, stained with sorrow and pain, Selvier who knows nothing of the human heart…!!”

I knew it when I changed your lecture to Cthulhu. How can you say such a thing looking at my gloomy face?

Maybe she’s also nurturing a malignancy within. Seeing a sad face makes her laugh uncontrollably.

…Huh.

As the talk of malice came up, I suddenly realized I hadn’t had any bad thoughts.

More precisely, it felt as if the devil inside was slightly suppressed by the inner angel. A feeling of being cautious, perhaps?

I asked, just in case.

“You haven’t received your metaphor yet, have you?”

“Are you teasing me?”

“Well, if you had received your metaphor, you would have challenged that Ivory Tower’s Thorn to a duel of wits by now. So, it’s not a metaphor for mental stability…”

“Don’t bring up Snow White in front of me!”

Then it’s not Selvier, but something within me that’s at work. Could it be, was there a connection between her and me? No, there must have been.

Since we’re from the same hometown village. It’s just that I can’t remember.

The past…

If I’ve steeled myself to face the unwelcome guests within, then I also need to delve into the past. How did such bizarre thoughts get lodged in my head?

“Selvier, let’s meet up later.”

“…I’d rather not.”

I promised Selvier a next time and stepped back.

After all, what’s urgent now is not digging into my past, but closing the emotional distance with the two of them.

—

In the end, I couldn’t find a proper advisor.

Even when I asked graduate candidate Luna, she just blurted out ‘maintain the status quo,’ and when I tried to ask the passing White Lotus Maiden, her followers told me to buzz off.

The White Lotus Maiden, of course, is well-versed in love and knows the answers to all things under heaven, but still, the followers argued that one must not ask such questions to a maiden pure and inexperienced in love.

“…Please, everyone. Please stop…”

“Don’t worry, Maiden, we can do this all day!”

“Begone, evil professor! Begone!”

The sight of the White Lotus Maiden, at a loss amidst the relentless, mindless flattery, was striking.

It was nice to see a faction bonding so tightly, but the fact that they treated me like a walking plague stirred a bit of competitiveness in me.

I threw down the gauntlet of ‘Keeping the White Lotus Maiden single for life VS Settling for a less-than-ideal husband’ and made my exit.

The sound of the followers splitting into two and fighting echoed throughout the academy.

And then.

As I lay sprawled on an academy bench, staring up at the sky, lost in thought, the curtain of night slowly rolled in, and the stars, hidden by the daylight, began to reveal themselves one by one.

“Oh!”

Stars.

Upon reflection, I know a man who could offer clear advice on such a matter… It’s Bennett, living a happy life, boldly dating two at once!

Bennett isn’t at the academy. Then, a letter will do. Given our rapport from sessions, a heartfelt letter should elicit a detailed response from him.

I penned a letter right there and then.

“Greetings, hero who saved the world…” I began with a spoonful of flattery.

Before diving into the main issue… Ah, I can’t go in empty-handed. A consultation fee is in order. While I feel a close inner bond with Bennett, he may not feel the same.

I wouldn’t want to touch the matter of finding Bennett’s sister’s body, as it’s a reward for our session. I know leveraging it would be effective, but it’s protected by the sacred oath of TRPG.

So, what can I offer? For starters, to ease his worries.

I included in the letter that we had defeated “The Virgin Devouring Pleasure.” Having beheaded a formidable named black mage, we’ll surely capture “The Corpse Flower that Feeds on Fear.” So, he can afford to relax.

That was the sentiment I wanted to convey.

Then, I addressed the main issue. I’ve had some troubles, how can I mend the relationship? How are you and Niore and Tara getting along? Teach me some romance…

No, that’s not it.

“I’ve written too raw.”

Even for me, shamelessly equipped with a thick skin, this is embarrassing. Asking a young man for love advice, isn’t it disgraceful upon reflection?

Though this body is younger than Bennett’s, including my past life, I must be around fifty. There’s the pride of an elder. I should phrase it more subtly.

After sealing the letter well, I asked a government agency akin to a post office to deliver it.

“…Mad wizard, the Defense Agency is not a merchant guild.”

“Please, it’s a personal matter of great importance, Kirby.”

“You saved Yuri, so just this once…”

Good. Now, all that’s left is to wait.

Bennett, show me the way back, a path to redemption…!

—

After finishing my work, I stealthily returned to the lab to find the door firmly shut.

I carefully turned the doorknob, trying not to make a sound, but the worn hinges screamed in protest despite my gentleness.

Creeeeak!

Inside, Pinvallez and Yuna, who had been clinging to each other, turned to look at me simultaneously. Pinvallez sat on the sofa with Yuna perched on his lap, embraced in a classic pose.

Pinvallez averted his gaze upon eye contact, while Yuna glared at me as if to devour me.

It’s infuriating that there’s no place for me between them. Surely, it would be soft and warm.

Right, their relationship must be intact since it’s my affection that’s been scorched. Wait, then… Does that make Yuna a rival too…?

As I floundered in confusion, Pinvallez threw me a lifeline.

“…We’ve had a little chat. So, the Tower Master is feeling uneasy. It seems he sensed a crisis looming.”

“What’s…?”

“……”

Pinvallez turned his head a bit more with a doll-like expressionless face. His gaze was far away, looking at the wallpaper pattern. He didn’t even glance my way.

Realizing this, I snapped my fingers clearly.

“Ah, are you worried that Pinvallez and I might have a big fight and drift apart…? Then, Tower Master, I’ll make sure to get along with Pinvallez quickly.”

“No, you fool──!!”

“??”

The puzzle doesn’t fit together. Usually, this means one of the puzzle pieces is wrong. There’s a culprit among them. One is malicious information.

Who is it, who’s clouding my judgment with lies…?

It’s an undeniable, straightforward fact that Pinvallez’s affection has burned, and our relationship has grown distant. The evidence is perfect. I haven’t even brushed fingertips with that Pinvallez for two weeks.

Even those subtle, suggestive jokes that used to be fired off now and then have evaporated. I haven’t even heard a fragment of one!

So, is the Tower Master’s rage a lie? But that can’t be, Yuna is someone who can’t hide her feelings…

To me, Yuna’s finishing blow was struck.

“I, I really hate you!”

“……!!”

“Hiccup.”

After uttering the shocking decree, Yuna, seemingly surprised by her own words, covered her mouth and began to hiccup.

If I had maintained more composure, I might have realized at that moment that Yuna’s reaction seemed ‘out of control’ and caught on that it wasn’t her true intention.

But at the time, I didn’t have the luxury to do so. And so.

I stiffened like a rabbit struck by lightning and collapsed to the side. As my consciousness faded, the voices of the two people getting farther away echoed.

“Uh, ugh! Are, are you okay?!”

“That was too much, Tower Master. No matter how dull he acted…”

“No, it’s not that, there’s a reason… Wait a minute, Yuri, him?!”

“…I misspoke. For now, let’s get him to bed.”

And so, I fainted.