Probably because of the ruckus I made, the location of the slave market was discovered by the knights.

Anyway, it wasn’t something I needed to worry about.

I had left the place after concealing my appearance.

It was strange that no one could recognize me even though I was walking right under their noses.

Wondering if I was really invisible, I even waved my hand in front of their eyes, but they still couldn’t recognize me.

The outside was still dark when I came out.

It wasn’t even dawn yet?

Walking in the dawn, covered in blood all over my body, is somewhat dreamlike.

Maybe it’s because of the sweet smell wafting from my entire body.

Or maybe it’s because I’m not in my right mind right now.

Even though it’s been over a year since I became a monster, I still haven’t gotten used to the feeling right after eating a human.

My breathing was heavy, and my face was noticeably flushed.

I don’t particularly enjoy it, but it feels very good when I eat humans.

That’s why it’s difficult to maintain rationality while eating, and I often find myself in a trance right after it.

It’s probably because it stimulates primitive desires like instincts.

But now it was especially severe.

Usually, I suppress my desires by minimizing the frequency of meals, but this time, I ate humans two days in a row.

“Haa, haa……”

I grabbed a nearby wall and exhaled roughly.

It wasn’t that I felt unwell.

Rather, the problem was that I felt too good.

My vitality was overflowing to an excessive degree.

I can’t control my strength, so anything I grab with my hands gets crushed.

I needed to calm down first.

‘Just a little more. Please. Should I eat just one more? It doesn’t seem like I’ll get caught anyway.’

I was too excited.

My reason was half paralyzed, and I couldn’t think normally.

Even though I know in my head that I shouldn’t, my body still wants it.

“Ugh……”

I should just sleep.

It’s something I can erase cleanly as if nothing happened, just like I usually do.

But where?

Sleeping outside is too risky.

Of course, I’m not in danger, but in this state, I can’t guarantee that I won’t attack people passing by.

And.

If I eat one more person in this state, I might really go berserk, so I absolutely can’t.

That’s why I had to find a separate place to stay.

Somewhere quiet where no one would come.

Should I go to the back alley as usual?

That was my favorite place.

It was quiet, dark, and had a comforting smell of magical energy.

But there might still be knights on patrol.

If I encountered them in this state, it would surely be troublesome.

The excessive heat in my body was quite difficult to bear.

I wanted to drink human blood.

I lightly licked the blood on my hand with my tongue.

The tingling sensation that slightly touched the tip of my tongue seemed addictive.

His blood was sweet.

Very much so.

But it had the opposite effect.

Such a small amount of blood was not enough to properly satisfy the desire; rather, it made me frustrated and uneasy.

My heart beat fast with the desire to taste more.

So.

-Stab!

I stabbed a dagger into my left shoulder.

With a sharp pain, my body was dyed red.

I was already covered in blood, but now I was covered in even more blood.

“……Now I feel a bit better.”

Still, the pain helped me regain my senses a bit.

My appetite decreased as my own blood mixed with the blood covering my body.

I thought I should quickly go find a house.

***

If you have money, you can do most things.

Finding a house was like that too.

In the black market, some places sell ownerless houses cheaply for various reasons.

Right now, I have 200 gold coins.

So it was possible to get one without much difficulty.

“Hello.”

“W-what the fuck.”

There were some problems in the process of purchasing, though.

Not everyone warmly welcomed me, covered in blood from head to toe.

“Um… the blood, how did you……”

“Are you curious?”

“Ah, no! Never mind!”

Is it because there’s a knife stuck in my shoulder?

Somehow, I forgot to pull out the knife I had stabbed myself with.

I applied moderate force and pulled out the dagger.

Then, dark red blood gushed out like a fountain.

“Aaaagh!! Get out! Get out now!!” (TN: This line is sponsored by James “the goat” Baily.)

“……?”

Anyway, I decided to leave since I had received the keys.

The newly acquired house was quite to my liking.

It was dirty because it hadn’t been managed for long, but I liked that it was dark and quiet.

Above all, it was very close to the back alley where I used to live.

According to the owner, that’s why it was an abandoned house.

No one wanted to go near the alley where monsters were said to appear.

The owner also felt uneasy and wanted to dispose of it quickly, so he sold it cheaply.

I got it for about 70 gold coins.

I gave 10 more coins because I accidentally broke the wall of the owner’s house.

[I’m sorry. I broke it.]

[No, how in the world did you……]

[It broke when I leaned on it.]

My physical condition wasn’t normal.

My condition was seriously good.

Is this the potential that this body originally had?

It was inconvenient for daily life, so I hoped it would worsen soon.

After entering my new house, I decided to wash my body first.

I took off all my clothes and entered the bathroom.

The first thing I saw was my reflection in the mirror again.

My eyes, blood-red, and my hair, half silver and half red, stood out.

The hair wasn’t actually red. It was just blood stuck to it.

When I washed it with cold water, it quickly came off.

‘From the outside, I look exactly like a human.’

Looking only at the appearance, I don’t think I look like a magical beast at all.

What makes me different from humans?

I pondered for a moment.

No, it wasn’t just a moment.

This time, I pondered for a long time.

While feeling the cold water on my head, I thought continuously, endlessly.

At this rate, I might spend all day just getting soaked.

“……”

I don’t know.

I didn’t want to become a monster yet.

I wanted to go back.

I hated myself for getting excited every time I saw human blood.

I was afraid of myself for killing humans without hesitation more and more.

Maybe it was because I pondered more deeply than ever before.

Or was it because I endlessly questioned myself while looking in the mirror?

I could make a fairly accurate diagnosis about myself.

I hadn’t gone mad yet.

I wasn’t a monster yet.

But I was going mad.

But I was becoming a monster.

“……A year ago, it wasn’t this bad.”

Yeah, it wasn’t like this until a year ago.

Back then, I was scared because it hadn’t been long since I was possessed.

I turned off the water pouring on my head, feeling the passage of time physically.

My head seemed cold enough now.

I came out without drying my long hair because it was bothersome.

I didn’t wipe the water off my body or put on clothes.

I just laid down on the bed as I was.

The bed sheets and blanket were damp from the moisture, but I didn’t really care.

I just wanted to sleep a bit now.

I wasn’t sleepy, but I wanted to calm my overheated body.

“Hmm……”

The feeling of the blanket against my naked body is quite nice.

I closed my eyes, surrendering my body to that softness.

I was able to fall asleep not long after.

And.

I dreamed.

***

It was a life that started from the bottom.

When I was seven years old, I was abandoned by my parents.

They said they didn’t have money to feed me.

I was thrown onto the streets before I was old enough to understand.

I had no money, no home, and nothing to eat.

Do you know how ugly humans can become when starved to the extreme?

I lived by eating food scraps thrown away from restaurants.

Even that wasn’t enough, so I fought with other beggars over the scraps.

Saying that’s mine to eat.

That I would eat it today no matter what.

I prayed to God every day that as long as I could endure this hell, please just let me live.

Please, God.

Please let me eat garbage tomorrow.

Please punish the thugs who beat me.

Please don’t let winter come.

I don’t dare to hope for a warm home or delicious meals. That’s beyond my station.

So please.

Just let me live in this world.

“Hey! Catch that bastard!”

Now unable to even eat scraps, I stole bread to survive.

The angry owner’s voice is scary.

If I’m caught, I’ll surely be beaten to death.

That’s why I had to run desperately.

For someone else, it might be a cheap item that is not worth a second glance, but for me, it was worth risking my life for.

I ate the bread, which was too hard to chew with my teeth then, by soaking it in water.

In the end, I survived today too.

It might be more accurate to say I endured because I didn’t have the courage to die.

But having survived today, I had to worry about tomorrow right away.

I was lucky today, but they will be on guard starting tomorrow.

I didn’t think the same method would work multiple times.

“Fuck……”

If that’s the case, I’d rather no one could see me.

I hated the looks of disgust or contempt directed at me.

If possible, I wanted to live where no one’s gaze could reach me.

I wanted to see money.

And.

“Beorn.”

Did the prayers I offered every day in tears finally reach God?

At some point, I became able to hide my body.

“Become a mercenary.”

There was someone who took notice of my talent.

That’s how I became a mercenary.