Perhaps at that time, I was searching for hope.

The hope that learning martial arts could make my body healthier.

When I was around 13 years old, I threw a fit insisting on learning martial arts, which ended up making me seriously ill. Even though I couldn’t see the sunlight, there was a practice hall, so I trained there to build up my strength and cultivate the inner energy techniques of the Moyong clan.

Initially, there didn’t seem to be any issues.

The Breath Circulation Method taught by Moyong Do was easy to understand and adapt to. Thanks to that, I could grasp the concepts of the Dantian and the Microcosmic Orbit and Macrocosmic Orbit.* (tl/n: the energy center, and two steps of circulating the energy in the body, more at the end.)

My parents and Moyong Do were always worried to see me lying in bed, but they were overjoyed to see my health gradually improving as I practiced.

However, that’s as far as it went.

I felt the inner energy starting to accumulate in my body. At that point, Moyong Do, who was always taking all sorts of medicinal pills, recommended a pill to me that would help increase my inner energy.

At the time, 16-year-old Moyong Do and 13-year-old me simply thought that taking this pill would increase my inner energy, and that would make me healthier.

I took the pill he gave me and felt a very small increase in inner energy within my body. But at that moment, I felt a throbbing sensation as if all the blood vessels in my body were about to burst.

The minuscule amount of inner energy I had accumulated, too small to even call it that, surged violently, and I started bleeding from my nose and ears before passing out.

When I opened my eyes, I found my worried parents looking at me, Moyong Do crying, and my empty Dantian.

That’s how the hope of possibly getting healthier was shattered into pieces for three months, and after that, my health rapidly deteriorated.

Hope was always futile and in vain. The voice of my mother from my past life, hugging me and crying that she would die with me when I died, still resounded clearly.

So don’t expect anything. There was no need for any expectations.

If there was a God, I wanted to tell them:

I don’t expect any miracles.

* * *

I slowly lifted my heavy eyelids. A blurry view of the unfamiliar ceiling came into sight. The murmuring voices rang in my ears, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

Slowly turning my head, I saw a young girl fussing over me as I woke up. Her appearance reminded me that I had passed out.

It seemed like I had fainted or passed out more often than just casually falling asleep since coming here.

At this rate, I might die before winter even arrives.

Lifting my heavy head slightly, I looked at the people bustling around. Mustering some strength in my arms, I raised my upper body a bit. Joo Hwarin seemed startled and supported me. Leaning against the smaller girl, I struggled to sit up against the wall and took a breath.

My whole body felt drenched like a wet cloth, unbearably heavy. It was a depressing feeling, as if I would immediately sink into the water. After exhaling a few times, I opened my eyes.

In front of me, Joo Hwarin and a few maids were looking at me with worried expressions. I glanced over them and rolled my eyes.

Some maids were taking out my belongings from drawers and wardrobes to move them. The rest were tidying up the disheveled room, as if a typhoon had just passed through.

Glancing down, I noticed red spots dotting my white arms.

Did Hwa Ui come and give me acupuncture or something?

And why is the room like this?

I turned to look at Joo Hwarin. She was staring at me with her large, watery eyes, tears welling up.

“Miss…”

At her small voice calling me, I smiled to reassure her that I was okay. Eventually, she buried her head in my lap.

Surprised by Joo Hwarin’s action, my hand froze in the air. Rolling my eyes slightly, I felt the maids’ gazes on me.

…Well, I can’t help it.

I slowly lowered my hand and stroked Joo Hwarin’s back. It was extremely slender and delicate. It suddenly struck me as remarkable and astonishing that such a small frame had stood up to the burly Do Seokhwi.

And yet, at the same time, I couldn’t understand why she would go that far. It hadn’t been long since she and I met, nor did we have any special relationship.

Moreover, I hadn’t done anything good for her; rather, I had often relied on her.

Still, Joo Hwarin stepped in front of the Elder Do Seokhwi and defiantly met his gaze even when seized by him.

If it was an order from Hyuk Dojin, I could understand. But her tears upon seeing me collapse and wake up went beyond just following orders.

What am I to Joo Hwarin?

We had only met a couple of days ago. Even with Hyuk Dojin, it was at most three days, half of which I was unconscious.

The people in this hall were unusually kind and affectionate.

Why? What was the reason? I had questions, but it was difficult to find the answers.

There might have been more information if the original work covered Moyong Sowol’s story extensively, but I only knew limited details.

I pressed my lips into a straight line and spoke as I stroked the quietly weeping Joo Hwarin.

“Calm down. I didn’t die.”

“Miss…”

Her eyes were reddened. Her reddened nose looked adorable, so I smiled faintly and raised my hand to wipe her cheeks and eyes with my sleeve.

From our first meeting, she had only shown a mature demeanor, so I hadn’t realized that she was still a young girl until seeing this side of her.

I gently patted her head as she sniffled. Finally, Joo Hwarin calmed down a little and got off the bed to sit on a chair.

Looking at her still-flushed cheeks, I smiled softly. Tilting my head slightly to study her face, I spoke gently.

“Are you okay now?”

“Yes… I’m oka…”

In response to my question, Joo Hwarin opened her mouth to answer, but stopped mid-sentence and widened her eyes.

Why is she reacting like that?

She seemed startled and quickly rubbed her face with her sleeve to wipe away the remaining moisture, her face flushed red as she carefully opened her mouth.

“I should have asked if you were okay first, but I made Miss Moyong Sowol do it first to me… How embarrassing.”

“What’s there to be embarrassed about? Anyone could be worried.”

I leaned my back against the wall again and let out a breath.

In the meantime, Joo Hwarin, having regained her composure, glanced at me and checked my condition. Seeing her head tilted, I opened my mouth.

“I’m fine. It was just a momentary dizziness from the sunlight.”

At my words, Joo Hwarin tilted her head more as if unable to understand. Well, even if I were in Joo Hwarin’s position, it would be difficult to comprehend.

Other than that, it doesn’t make sense to simply pass out and lose consciousness just from getting a little sunlight through the window on my back. Yet, surprisingly, it was neither a joke nor a lie.

It wasn’t this severe before, but it’s been getting worse day by day. Now, it’s so painful that my body feels like it’s burning up just from the sunlight touching it. Is there really nothing left to do but go to the grave?

As Joo Hwarin, with a perplexed look on her face, hesitated as if unsure how to respond, glancing at me for a cue, I heard a loud noise. from outside.

A gruff voice rang out from the door, and shortly after, the door opened, revealing Hwa Ui.

As soon as he saw me standing up, his jaw dropped.

“Look. She’s awake, isn’t she?”

Reacting to Hwa Ui’s remark, Hyuk Dojin appeared from behind the door. As soon as he saw me, he opened his eyes wide, but then regained his composure, slowly approaching and sitting lightly on the bed.

Personally, I felt a little sorry for Hyuk Dojin. Although it was a political marriage, the bride he brought it was like a twig that could easily break.

If I were a woman who could eat and live well without any trouble, he wouldn’t have had to worry about me.

I felt like I was unnecessarily causing him trouble and adding to his fatigue.

“Young Cult…”

“How are you feeling? Is there any discomfort or pain anywhere?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice disappeared, drowned out by Hyuk Dojin’s question. He rolled his eyes once as he examined me. I met his gaze and calmly shook my head.

At that, Hwa Ui, standing behind Hyuk Dojin, spoke abruptly as if telling him to look.

“I told you, Young Cult Leader, that it was just a case of her body overheating and fainting. You didn’t believe me and caused a whole commotion… Tsk. The room is in shambles, in shambles!”

“…”

I looked down from Hwa Ui, who was showering Hyuk Dojin with gruff remarks. Regardless of what Hwa Ui said, Hyuk Dojin seemed uninterested, calmly accepting it with a composed expression and said quietly,

“About yesterday…”

“You don’t need to worry about it.”

“Pardon?”

I shook my head lightly.

“You don’t need to worry about the matter with Elder Do Seokhwi. It was just a simple conversation, and I fainted from exhaustion. So, don’t worry about that.”

“…”

If I didn’t say this, Hyuk Dojin might have tried to take responsibility. Judging from the way he has been acting these past few days, he would have been more than willing to do so. That’s why I needed to draw a line.

I am someone who will soon die and disappear, but Hyuk Dojin must ascend to the position of Cult Leader, and in that process, it wouldn’t be good for his relationship with Do Seokhwi, the head of the Southern Manchuria Do clan, to be disrupted.

Also, in reality, Do Seokhwi didn’t directly harm me. He only threatened me.

Hyuk Dojin’s current kindness towards me was already enough. So I didn’t want to burden him any further.

Hyuk Dojin, who had been listening to me, seemed to be deep in thought, keeping his head down without opening his mouth. Then, after raising it again, he turned his head and surveyed the room.

Puzzled by his sudden action, I stared at him intently, and eventually, Hyuk Dojin’s eyes met mine after making a full circle around the room.

His mouth slowly opened.

“The room is in shambles.”

I tilted my head at his unexpected mention of the room. Hyuk Dojin looked at me again and said:

“This was the only usable room in the entire building.”

“…?”

“And now it’s in shambles.”

“That can be cleaned up…”

“Cleaning will cause dust and debris to scatter. And if we move furniture, it will become even more complicated. It’s not suitable as a place for rest.”

I tilted my head, unable to grasp his intention.

Suddenly, the conversation took an odd turn, so I couldn’t figure out what he was trying to say and just stared at him intently.

Hyuk Dojin smiled lightly in response to my reaction.

“So we should move up the timing of sharing a room.”

“What?”

His hand came up and gently grasped my wrist resting on the blanket.

“From today onwards, we’ll share my room, Sowol.”

Tl/note:

The term Dantian used by itself usually refers to the lower dantian, which is considered to be the foundation of rooted standing, grounding, breathing, and body awareness in martial arts. It is considered the physical center of gravity of the human body and is the seat of one’s internal energy (ki/qi).

Microcosmic Orbit (Sojucheon):

This is a step through which all the paths inside the body where energy flows are opened by using energy, especially the Conception vessel and Governor vessel energy lines. Once the energy gathers inside one’s body, it is meant to flow and Sojucheon is the method used to allow this flowing energy to circulate along the usual routes and then to open important acupoints in the body. In this step, a trainee prepares for the next step, Daejucheon, by connecting the meridians which have been activated so far.

Macrocosmic Orbit (Daejucheon):

This is a step wherein a trainee who has finished Sojucheon opens channels to external energy. The meridians that receive all the Heaven and Earth Energy should be open, and after this step they truly become one who can do the study of Heaven.