Hyuk Dojin’s rippling eyes seemed to freeze as if malfunctioning. He mirrored my reflection in his eyes, as if I had always been there.
He gazed at me blankly, having lost his words, like someone who had. And I silently gazed back at him without uttering a word as well.
He would likely not understand why I had said such a thing, for I myself couldn’t comprehend it either.
Everyone knew that the first night of marriage was a precious time for the couple. A beautiful time for them to further know each other and exchange the highest expressions a married couple could share.
Throughout my life, I had given up on many things.
Eating, sleeping, dressing, learning. And even living itself.
In that kind of life, I had categorized the things I couldn’t have and let go of any aspirations for what I couldn’t attain.
Marriage was one of those things. Becoming someone precious to someone outside my family and receiving love was something I could never even imagine.
With my limited lifespan, even if someone did come to love me, I couldn’t accept that person’s heart.
Because I knew I would have to leave them behind alone.
But miraculously, in my life where I thought such things were impossible, Hyuk Dojin appeared, and I was able to have a marriage and husband that I had deemed unattainable. So, perhaps it was only natural that I desired one step further.
I thought it might be too greedy and even could offend someone.
More than anyone else, I knew my own body well. My emaciated body, unable to eat, and a figure where a woman’s charms – no, any human charms at all – were difficult to find.
How selfish of me to ask him to embrace this body.
But I wanted to indulge in that selfishness, if only once. Before my death, before I left this world, I wanted to leave behind at least a trace that I had been loved.
“Dojin…”
I softly uttered his name, which still left him frozen. My hot breath grazed his cheek before returning to me. The petrified Hyuk Dojin finally opened his mouth.
“Why are you looking at me with such an apologetic gaze?”
“Well…”
Because I knew I was forcing this. I opened my mouth to speak but tightly bit my lip instead.
Hyuk Dojin observed me and spoke slowly.
“Do you feel guilty for saying such words to me? Or are you embarrassed?”
“…”
His hand supporting my side loosened. His free hand slowly moved, gently brushing my hair back. Hyuk Dojin smiled faintly at me.
“Certainly, that day will come. The day I stroll through that garden with you. And the day when I can embrace you, and we can feel each other together. But it is not today.”
“Why not? Is it because I’m unsightly?”
“No. You are never unsightly, Sowol. You are too beautiful and noble for me to possess. So, don’t harbor such thoughts.”
“Then why…”
I tried to quickly open my mouth and voice the words, but they seemed to get stuck in my throat, unable to flow out further. My head felt dizzy.
The lingering alcohol had brought fatigue. The strange sensation of my energy draining robbed me of the ability to speak, and I could only silently gaze at him.
Hyuk Dojin smiled.
“I don’t wish to receive your intention to give me everything as if you have no future.”
“…”
“I will have everything. Your love, your heart, and your body, Sowol. But not now. When time passes, and the day comes when I can keep you by my side, when I hear that there is no problem with embracing you, then I will hold you in my arms, even if others try to stop me.”
Following the curve of his smiling lips, I smiled as well. Hyuk Dojin slowly erased his serene smile and brought his face closer to mine.
In the moment when I felt the warmth of his breath, our lips met, and that warmth enveloped me.
Moist, soft. The pliant sensation entering my mouth was unfamiliar, and my head went blank. I raised my hands and tightly grasped his shoulders.
Hyuk Dojin slowly embraced my rigid body, as if trying to relax me. The kiss continued within his embrace, and when I became slightly short of breath, he slowly pulled his lips away.
Facing his softly smiling countenance, I smiled as well.
“…You held me.”
“Let’s leave it at this for now.”
At his gentle voice, I nodded and buried my face in his embrace, closing my eyes. In that warmth, I felt as if I had let go of everything, able to comfortably fall asleep.
* * *
“…”
Hyuk Dojin silently gazed at the sleeping Sowol. Her disheveled hair strands trailed across her cheeks, seeming almost drawn into her slightly parted lips.
Hyuk Dojin gently brushed her hair aside.
His cautious movements, lest he wake her, felt achingly tender. Her hair strands grazing her skin must have tickled, as she faintly scrunched her nose in an endearing way, causing Hyuk Dojin to let out a soft chuckle. With his hand, he firmly smoothed out her furrowed brow.
Hyuk Dojin slowly erased the smile he had worn while observing her fairy-like face bathed in moonlight as she slept. As the corners of his mouth turned down, the words Sowol had uttered surfaced in his mind.
-Will you… hold me?
The eyes of Sowol as she spoke those words were tangled with complex emotions. The words she had voiced were but a small fragment of those emotions.
Although she must have agonized and contemplated deeply before uttering them, Hyuk Dojin could read the myriad emotions in her eyes.
That’s why his chest ached. Those were not words spoken in the hope of a happy future, but words spoken because she had no future. That’s why he couldn’t embrace her. Even if that were not the case, he couldn’t embrace her.
His formidable strength, swayed by emotion, could potentially harm Sowol. This slender person, who seemed like she could break at the slightest touch, had to be protected. Until she regained her health, at least.
Hyuk Dojin silently observed Sowol, his fingers alternating between caressing his own lips and hers. A brief kiss, or a lingering one.
In those fleeting moments, he was able to reaffirm his conviction once more.
‘I don’t want to lose this.’
He couldn’t give up these moments. Facing her, Hyuk Dojin sent a psychic message into the darkness.
[Eun Do.]
[Yes, my lord.]
A psychic response came from the darkness. Hyuk Dojin, his gaze fixed on Sowol, calmly relayed his message.
[It seems there are too many intruders.]
[My apologies. I will take care of it.]
[…No.]
[Pardon?]
Hyuk Dojin raised his arm and moved it behind her back. Applying slight force to pull her inward, Sowol’s body nestled closer into his embrace.
As if responding to his cautious action, Sowol stirred slightly with a small sound. Hyuk Dojin, who had paused, observed Sowol.
After making those murmuring noises, Sowol settled back into a comfortable-looking position. Hyuk Dojin silently watched her before slowly lifting the corners of his mouth and raising his arm to tightly embrace her once more.
[There is no need to take care of them.]
[But…]
[There is no need to shed blood on such a good day as this. After all, they have merely come to confirm something, not to take any real action. So, simply chase them away appropriately.]
[Understood.]
[And.]
Hyuk Dojin softly addressed Eun Do, who was about to withdraw his presence.
[From now on, you will guard Sowol. If anyone tries to harm Sowol, no matter who they are, exact retribution upon them, even if it costs your life.]
Even if.
[Even if it is the Cult Leader himself.]
* * *
In the province of Liaoning, where the Moyong clan was located, only one person occupied the large practice hall inside the clan’s grounds.
A man with long, unkempt hair sat shirtless, undeterred by the northern chill of Liaoning’s weather that directly assailed him.
At the approaching footsteps, he slowly opened his eyes. His piercing gaze from the darkness fixed upon the tightly closed door.
Some time later, the door opened, revealing a middle-aged woman.
“Do-ya.”
This woman was Byeok Ji-hee, mother of Moyong Do, who was the closest to becoming the next clan leader of the Moyong clan, but still she addressed the man as ‘Do-ya’. (tl/n: -ya/-ah – is used as a suffix for the vocative case when calling someone by his or her name, or a nickname, but only when the person is younger or close, also can be considered as addressing the person with ‘hey’. Will be used not so often, but at some scenes will indicate the level of closeness/friendliness of the speaker – a small, but clarifying detail.)
Moyong Do silently observed his mother before rising from his seat and slowly approaching her.
The maidservant behind Byeok Ji-hee quickly grabbed a shirt hanging nearby and handed it to him.
Moyong Do deftly received and donned the shirt, then lightly greeted his mother.
Byeok Ji-hee studied Moyong Do carefully.
Although he was her son, after Moyong Sowol had left, Byeok Ji-hee had found it difficult to interact with Moyong Do. Previously, he had been an amiable son who often smiled and showed a comfortable demeanor.
But after Moyong Sowol’s departure, he withdrew all his attention and devoted himself solely to cultivation.
Cultivation upon cultivation.
In the span of just over half a year, a brief period, Moyong Do had achieved remarkable progress.
He had swiftly begun to attain the achievements known as the ‘initial realm of the Two Celestial Beings’, the pinnacle of the Moyong clan’s teachings. Thanks to this, he had become unmatched among his peers, and in some aspects, he even surpassed the elders.
The elders and the Clan Leader, Moyong Danli, greatly rejoiced at his achievements, but they also harbored concerns.
They worried that as his achievements grew, he might become too powerful for them to handle.
Even the most formidable weapon must be wielded to unleash its true might.
If Moyong Do were to rebel against them, it would be problematic. So they tried their best to keep Moyong Do stable.
Byeok Ji-hee was one of those individuals. While she was saddened by having to send away her daughter, she didn’t wish to lose her son as well. So she tried her utmost to treat her son with warmth.
“What is it, Mother?”
At his deep, low voice, Byeok Ji-hee tightly closed her mouth before slowly opening it again.
“There is something I wanted to inform you of.”
“What is it?”
Byeok Ji-hee paused to study Moyong Do’s state. Meeting her son’s gaze, which seemed indifferent and uncurious, she continued speaking.
“It’s a matter regarding Sowol.”
At those words alone, a spark of life returned to Moyong Do’s previously hardened gaze upon her. Byeok Ji-hee felt a pang of sadness at his reaction.
‘He cherished her so much…’
Knowing how much he had loved and cherished Moyong Sowol, more than anyone else, as if she were his own child, Byeok Ji-hee felt her heart ache. But unable to show it, she calmly continued.
“A letter arrived some time ago.”
“What was its content?”
A fluctuation entered his previously flat tone, revealing a change in Moyong Do’s emotions.
“It stated that Sowol recently held her wedding ceremony with the Young Cult Leader of the Demon Cult.”
“Wedding ceremony…”
Moyong Do’s face hardened.
“Fortunately, it went smoothly without any issues, and she is reportedly adapting well there.”
“Is that… so.”
Moyong Do bit his lip, his emotions seeming complex. Byeok Ji-hee stared at him intently before continuing.
“And they also sent a dowry along with the wedding to Sowol.”
“A dowry?”
“Yes. They sent a considerable sum of money and treasures, it seems…”
“Where is all of that?”
Byeok Ji-hee’s eyes widened at Moyong Do’s interrupting voice. She had intended to mention it casually, thinking he wouldn’t be particularly interested in the wealth, but unexpectedly, Moyong Do reacted sensitively. Byeok Ji-hee opened her mouth with a sullen expression.
“Elder Moyong Danli has it…”
“I will go collect it directly.”
“What are you saying?”
Moyong Do glanced at his mother, who had questioned him, as he straightened his clothes before speaking softly.
“I must go and guard it, should I not?”
“Guard what?”
“The dowry sent by the Demon Cult.”
“Who are you saying needs to guard it from?”
“Who else? From the greedy elders and clan members.”
“Do…!”
Byeok Ji-hee’s face flushed with anxiety as she urgently called out to Moyong Do. But Moyong Do seemed unconcerned by his mother’s thoughts as he calmly continued.
“That money is the price of Sowol’s body and life. It is not to be used by the clan, but to save Sowol’s life. I will retrieve that money and use it to purchase elixirs, which I will then send to Sowol.”
Moyong Do narrowed his eyes.
“If she is not dead, I can bring her back. No, even if she is dead, I will bring her back. The place my sister… my younger sister should reside is not the Demon Cult’s lair thousands of miles away…”
He paused mid-step and gazed intently at the door before turning his head towards his mother. His eyes flashed.
“But with her family… and by my side.”