…What am I even doing right now?

I came to Ethan’s room in the middle of the night, supposedly to ask him about his wish.

How did I end up agreeing to let him… do cunnilingus? To let him lick my… you know?

‘It’s all because of that damned tea….’

The entire problem definitely stemmed from that suspicious tea.

Ever since I drank it, strange words kept slipping out of my mouth, and even my body wasn’t always doing what I wanted.

I can’t say it enough—there’s no way I wanted to give Ethan permission to do this.

I mean, what sane person would calmly undress and prepare themselves to receive cunnilingus? Especially when I don’t actually want it. I really don’t.

‘…But still, it’s a hundred times better than if he had asked for something involving my backside.’

This is humiliating, sure, but at least if he’s going to see something, the front is better than the back, right?

I stripped off my top as if by habit, just like when he touches my chest, then took off my camisole. Since I was already in my nightclothes, there was no bra underneath.

Then I removed my bottoms, and finally my underwear, standing completely naked. The overwhelming embarrassment nearly made it impossible to stand upright.

‘Am I really standing naked behind Ethan right now?’

I’d only ever let him touch my chest, so this was the second time I’d shown Ethan my body entirely.

The first time, in the bath, I had made sure he only saw my front, and even then, I didn’t let him see much of my lower half. So, in a way, this was the first time I was fully exposing everything to him.

…At this point, there was no option to hide. Telling him to wear a blindfold because I was too embarrassed would be even more humiliating.

If I was going to cover up, I wouldn’t have agreed to this at all. Not that I agreed of my own free will, but still, it’s the same principle.

“Lily, are you ready yet?”

“Just… just a minute! I need to prepare myself mentally…. Could you maybe turn around after counting to ten?”

“One, two, three….”

As Ethan began counting aloud, I quickly lay down on the bed, clasped my hands over my stomach, and did my best to keep a neutral expression, pretending nothing was wrong.

“…Eight, nine, ten.”

I was worried he might suddenly turn around before I was ready, but Ethan patiently counted to ten before slowly turning his head.

“……”

“……”

“……”

“Ed?”

“…Ah, sorry, Lily.”

Ethan, who had been silently staring at my naked body for a while, snapped out of it when I called his name.

I guess the sight of a woman’s genitals is quite fascinating to someone seeing them for the first time.

…It is his first time, right? Please tell me this isn’t the first time he’s seeing my body, but not the first time he’s seen a woman’s body. That would be even worse.

I didn’t want to ask because it would just make me feel more embarrassed, so I decided to focus on what was happening. I wasn’t about to be that insecure boyfriend who asks his girlfriend, “Am I your first?”

“You can go ahead, Ed. I’m ready now.”

“…Ah, okay.”

“You said you’d use your mouth, so I won’t be petty and tell you to only touch with your mouth. You can touch and look however you want, as long as you respect my ‘purity’….”

“…Got it.”

…I said everything I needed to. Now I just had to lie here quietly and wait for Ethan to… start. If I just focused on counting the patterns on the ceiling, eventually it would be over, and so would tonight.

I just had to endure the time left, while keeping my emotions in check as much as possible….

“Lily, I was wondering about something.”

“…What is it, Ed?”

“Was there really a need to undress your upper half too?”

“……”

Oh, shit.

I’m so used to him touching my chest that I stripped out of habit.

“…Do you not like it?”

“No, it’s fine. I like it.”

“…Then why bring it up? It’s embarrassing.”

“Sorry, Lily. I was just genuinely curious.”

“I just took it off out of habit. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, I get it. Sorry for asking.”

…He’s so annoying.

His casual attitude is infuriating, and it’s frustrating that he’s taking so long, making me wait even after I mentally prepared myself.

And apologizing twice in an effort to be considerate is also annoying. Even his handsome face is annoying right now.

Why can’t he just get on with it? Why is he making me so anxious?

“I’m going to touch you now, Lily.”

—Rub.

“Ah, hngh.”

Just when my head was about to explode with irritation, Ethan’s soft words were followed by something thin slipping between my thighs.

His finger brushed between my inner thighs and touched me. My body flinched, and an involuntary moan escaped from my lips as I felt his touch on such an intimate spot for the first time.

—Rub.

“Hnn, ngh!”

—Rub, rub.

“Ngh, ha….”

—…Press.

“Ah, ahnn!”

The wet sound coming from between my thighs snapped me back to reality. The sticky noise was coming from the fluids leaking from inside me.

I lifted my head, embarrassed, and found Ethan looking at me, just as surprised. His fingers were still glistening with the sticky fluid that had stretched between my thighs.

Feeling defensive under his silent gaze, I lashed out to cover my embarrassment.

“W-What?! It’s just… a bodily reaction, okay?!”

“I didn’t say anything, Lily.”

“I-It’s not like I was thinking about you touching me or anything and got turned on! It’s just a natural reaction! I definitely didn’t get wet just from imagining you touching me before you even started!”

“…What?”

“Ah!”

Oh, fuck. My stupid mouth again.

That damn tea must still be in my system, making me say ridiculous things. Sure, what I said was true, but I hadn’t intended to admit it so bluntly in front of Ethan.

Realizing that the more I talked, the worse it would get, I clamped my hands over my mouth and signaled to Ethan that I wouldn’t say anything else.

“……”

“Lily? Could you repeat what you just said?”

—Shake shake.

“Come on, I think I misheard you.”

—Shake shake.

“So, you’re just going to stay silent from now on? Really?”

—Nod nod.

“…Alright, fine. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. It’s okay.”

There was an unsettling tone in Ethan’s voice as he placed his hands on my thighs, spreading them apart gently.

The sensation of my legs being spread wide sent a wave of humiliation crashing through me.

—Slide, slide.

“……!!!”

Stay calm. He’s just looking. That’s all.

This is just part of the process. There’s no way Ethan could do what he wants unless I spread my legs for him. Forcing his tongue between tightly closed thighs would be weird even for me.

…The only thing bothering me was the slick sound from earlier. That liquid pooling between my legs is not going to help.

I was doing my best to squeeze my thighs together to stop the flow of fluids, but I could feel it leaking out, likely forming a wet spot on the bed beneath me.

It was utterly humiliating to be showing him everything like this, not even trying to cover up. This was, without a doubt, the most embarrassing thing I’d ever shown Ethan.

“……”

“……”

Ethan, however, simply stared in silence at the sight between my legs. His silence wasn’t helping my rising shame, as the heat continued to build in my face. What was he waiting for? If he was going to do it, why wasn’t he starting?

‘One minute… no, three minutes. That’s all I’ll give him.’

If he kept staring beyond that, I’d have to use my thighs to trap his head or something. I’d crush his skull between my legs if I had to.

I was being lenient because I understood how overwhelming this situation could be for a guy. Being a virgin myself in my past life, I could empathize.

…Of course, unlike me in my past life, Ethan was a virgin by choice, which wasn’t that big of a deal.

Ethan stared silently for about a minute, doing nothing but observing me.

I could feel the fluids between my thighs spreading, but I tried to ignore it. Once I’d shown him everything, it didn’t matter how wet I got. The humiliation was already complete.

After a minute of silence, Ethan finally moved. Not to begin the cunnilingus, but….

—Stretch.

“Ahh, hnngh?!”

I didn’t realize how humiliating it would be to have that area spread apart by someone else’s hand.

I thought the sight of me leaking fluids like a female in heat was embarrassing enough, but apparently, there was always a new low to sink to.

And, of course, Ethan had to make it even worse by saying something completely out of line.

“It’s cute, Lilith.”

“Hngh?!”

“Even this part of you is adorable… and honestly, beautiful.”

“Hgnn… hgnnngh…!!”

His absurd declaration of love made my head feel like it was about to explode.

The fact that he could say something like that without a hint of shame made me feel a strange kind of resentment toward Ethan. He had no idea how much it hurt my pride to be showing him something this embarrassing.

I had planned to endure it until the end, but I couldn’t let this one go. So, I cautiously removed my hands from my face and spoke up.

“Pfft, Ed…”

“Huh? Do you feel like talking again?”

“Can you see it clearly? My… hymen….”

“What…?”

“I’m asking if you can clearly see the proof of my purity….”

—Stretch.

“…Yeah, I can see it. That thin membrane in the middle, that’s your ‘proof of purity,’ right?”

“Y-Yeah. You’re the first one to ever see it… Isn’t it beautiful? It’s the undeniable proof of a woman’s untainted purity….”

“……Yeah.”

“I-I can’t see it myself, obviously… I’ve taken baths with Isabel and Katarina before, but we never showed each other that… So, really, you’re the first person to ever see it, Ed….”

“Lily….”

“And I’ll never show it to anyone else, Ed. Not to a man, not to a woman… no one else. That’s the beauty of a pure maiden, isn’t it? Heh….”

“…….”

No, that wasn’t what I meant to say.

I don’t know why my old thoughts about virginity from my past life came spilling out, but the words were already out there.

I guess I’ll just have to forget about everything that happened tonight by the time tomorrow morning comes.

…Because at this point, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look Ethan in the eyes again.

“……”

“……”

Once again, the two of us were left in awkward silence, unable to speak.

—Lick.

“Hnngyaaah?!”

Suddenly, Ethan buried his face between my legs and started licking my inner thighs.