I still remember it. 

I remember the words he said to me when I came to him unexpectedly and asked for a consultation like a Zen koan.

In retrospect, they weren't difficult words. No, they were words that anyone could have said. 

I mean, he's not a therapist or anything, and he's not somebody who's so amazing that he's going to come up with some kind of primal solution, if you'll pardon the pun.

But I think the reason why his words resonated with me so much was because they were so simple.

Something that no one else could have said to me. Not my parents, not my brother, not even my closest confidant, Secretary Kim.

What it boiled down to was that I was okay. 

I'm not an empty person, I just compare myself to others and fool myself into thinking I am. Everything I've accomplished so far proves that.

So I should continue to live my life doing the things I find enjoyable and the things I want to do.

It wasn't until then that I realized.

I realized that no one had ever said to me, “It's okay.

In that sense, he was an interesting person.

He didn't just throw out clichés irresponsibly, but he genuinely empathized with me and understood my feelings, and he said something that I might have been waiting for in my subconscious mind.

[LSH0306] - Koha!

- I see you're here again today, thank you.

From that day on, I found myself tuning in to his broadcast every night.

I didn't have to be Ryu Seoha in front of him. 

.
.
. . .
.

Wearing a name tag that said “STAFF” on my chest, I entered the party with trepidation.

I'll have to give secretary Kim a bonus later for honoring my request for a seat where my identity wouldn't be revealed. She's definitely on top of things.

Thrilled. Thrilled.

It's amazing, by the way. I can't believe that I can be so excited just to meet someone, even in front of so many employees.

As I listened to the quiet thumping of my heart in my chest, a woman approached me with quite a bit of urgency.

“You must be the staff member from Party Emergency Help today, please come over here!”
“Yes.”

And so I go to meet you.

To let you know how much I appreciate you.

***.

December 24th.

I finally arrive at the venue, a club in Seoul, to attend a streamer party held to celebrate Tweep Christmas and the end of the year.

“...Wow.”

My heart is beating faster and faster as I stare at the building and the invitation that just arrived yesterday.

The invitation may not mean much to anyone else, but it means a lot to me. 

I'm sure he does, too, because getting invited to the Tweeps party has been one of his primary goals since he first started broadcasting.

From the platform's point of view, it means that they recognize me as someone worthy of being treated, and it's like a badge of honor, so I've always wanted to come.

Even though we're not on the same level yet, it's still refreshing to be in the same room with streamers you've only seen on TV.

“Welcome.”

With that determination, I stepped into the club's entrance, and the woman guarding the door greeted me with a smile. 

Meanwhile, the people entering the club and the line of people behind me were all streamers I recognized from somewhere.

Ugh, cringe.

Still, I tried my best to keep my face as nonchalant as possible and handed the staff member my physical invitation. 

Unlike the famous streamers, it was an invitation, so the staff member, who looked nervous when he saw me, confirmed my identity through the QR code at the bottom of the invitation and smiled.

“You're confirmed. Mr. Cosmo Partner.”
“Okay, thank you.”

After handing the invitation back to me, the woman rummaged through a small basket next to her and pulled out what looked like an amusement park admission bracelet and slipped it on my wrist. 

I walked into the building, confident that I'd gained entry. The atmosphere was quite dim, as it was originally used as a club, but the lighting was extravagant.

“Wow, Mr. Hannan, it's been a while!”
“Oooh, who is this, isn't it Mr. Ndin?”

When I arrived at the first floor hall filled with streamers, I saw all kinds of people.

Most of them had met each other in a common room or across the street, so they greeted each other properly, hugging and shaking hands.

I'm still alone here, which is why I should have made some connections. 

But I can't help it, I'm not a full-time gaming broadcaster and I mostly play with my viewers, so I don't have many opportunities to interact with other broadcasters.

Even when I do play games at the request of viewers, it's usually only big console games with solo play or trial content.

No, actually, that's all an excuse, it's just that I'm not good at meeting people.

I've been asked to join a few times before, and I've turned them all down.

“Hey guys, the food here is amazing, the quality is insane!”
“Ugh, okay, but don't eat it with some in your mouth, you're too old!”

I went up to the second floor, and this time I was greeted by a space decorated like a restaurant.

On one side, a man was aggressively eating his meal with his cell phone glued to the front of his face, but the voice sounded familiar, so I looked closely and realized it was Mr. Tweep Silse, the half-moon bear.

I used to watch his broadcasts a lot, and he had the perfect trifecta of talking, reacting, and being down to earth. 

I'd love to get his autograph, but he's in the middle of a meal. Moreover, he's not the kind of person that I would dare to talk to.

“I see you're all playing rabang....”

As I looked around for a while, I couldn't help but say to myself.

As it was an invitation-only party for streamers, most of them were taking pictures of themselves with their phones or selfie sticks. 

Some of them were busy grabbing streamers as they walked by, capturing them in their screens and greeting them, and at times, I was glad I didn't know them.

I was like, “Oh, that's what insiders do. 

“Hey, who's that guy, he looks pretty good.”
“Where?”
“That guy over there, I've never seen him before.... Is he a no-cam broadcaster?”

As I walked by the table, I heard two women chatting, so I looked around to see if I could catch a glimpse of the handsome face, but I didn't see anyone in particular.

“Hey, I see him. Get down, get down.”
“......?”

I made eye contact with both of them, but they simultaneously averted their gazes as if they'd made a promise and went back to eating.

You can't be talking to me, I thought, unless there's something seriously wrong with your aesthetics.

“He's pretty innocent-looking, isn't he?”
“Yeah, kind of nerdy?”

The women's comments continued until the moment I left the area.

I don't know who, but I'm jealous. 

Come on, let's eat.

“Oh....”

Holding on to my stomach, I headed to the buffet-style display next to the terrace, where the food looked pretty good for a year-end party.

Wow, the quality is definitely good. If I leave here full, I'll have enough to pay for a cab home.

I've got one more slice to unpack for the viewers tomorrow, and that's a good thing.

“If you need any more wine or steak, just let me know and I'll bring it right over.”
“Okay, thank you.”

My mouth watered, I looked at the food, and a man with a “STAFF” nametag wandered by and said, “Steak and wine. 

Steak and wine. Honestly, I don't know how to taste alcohol, so leaving aside the wine, I might be able to pull off the steak. 

But if I eat it now, I won't know whether it goes through my nose or my mouth, so I'll have to wait until later. I can't get enough of the food on display here.

As I continued to browse with my eyes, I was about to pick up the first food I chose with my tongs and put it in a large bowl.

“Hey, hey, hey.... Cosmo?”
“...Yes?”

I turned my head reflexively at the sound of a woman's voice from out of nowhere.

There stood a beautiful woman I'd never seen before, wearing a 'STAFF' name tag just like the man I'd just seen, looking a little shy.

He stared at her, mesmerized by her good looks, until he was slapped in the face with a sudden realization.

How does this guy know I'm Cosmo, and I'm not even wearing a name tag?