Shut Up, Malevolent Dragon! I Don’t Want to Have …
Vol. 1 Ch. 97 Table of contents

Chapter 97: You two should go on a date!

“Me, us?”

Noia nodded. “Yes, since everyone else will likely focus on family love, if I want to stand out, I can’t write about family love too. I want to write about Mom and Dad’s…”

Don’t say that word.

Please, don’t say it, I beg you!

“Romance!”

Pfft—

As if two invisible sharp knives deeply pierced the hearts of the couple.

The couple exchanged a glance.

Clearly, they both felt a hint of… fear towards the topic their eldest daughter had chosen.

Family love was one thing. With four members in the family, you could easily come up with at least three segments of family love: father-daughter, mother-daughter, and sisterly love.

It would be enough to fill up not just an eight-hundred-word essay but even twenty-four hundred words, just enough for certain lazy authors to create a chapter break.

“But you talk about this love…”

Love, my foot! What love!

Do my mom and I look like we’re deeply in love?

Have we held hands? Have we kissed? Have we hugged? Or have we spent holidays together?

Hiss~ Seems like we’ve actually done all that.

So, it’s no wonder Noia is so confident about her love theme.

Blame it on Leon and Rosvitha for portraying the “husband and wife” relationship so convincingly in front of their children.

At the same time, it also indirectly illustrates how they’ve managed to make this fake family feel real and warm. So much so that when Noia wanted to excel by taking a different approach, the first thing she thought of was them.

The couple hesitated, unsure of what to do. They exchanged glances, each unable to make a decision.

Seeing their hesitation, Leon quickly squatted down. “Alright, Mom and Dad will cooperate with you. Our family will definitely win first place in the essay competition!”

Noia’s face lit up again. “Thank you, Mom and Dad!”

Despite being mature beyond her years, she was still a child, and her cute little face couldn’t hide her emotions.

Seeing Leon’s agreement, Rosvitha naturally didn’t say much more. “So, Noia, how do you need Mom and Dad to cooperate with you?”

Noia had already thought about it on the way back. “It’s simple, really, not complicated at all.”

Upon hearing this, the couple breathed a sigh of relief. Simple was good. Simple was good. How complex could a child’s understanding of love be?

Leon couldn’t believe his ears. “Did she just mention a date this afternoon? She can’t possibly know what a date is at her age!”

In the evening, Leon paced back and forth in Rosvitha’s room.

Rosvitha shook her head. “Noia understands more than the average child. Since she brought it up, let’s think about how to handle tomorrow’s date first.”

Leon stopped pacing and looked at Rosvitha. “Have you ever been on a date before?”

Rosvitha shrugged. “I spent the first hundred years busy with academics and the next hundred years busy with my career. When did I have time for romance and dating? How about you?”

“First fifteen years, academics. Next five, career…” And the last two years, busy with parenting.

Rosvitha covered her face, sighing. “Well, we can’t rely on our past experiences.”

With zero experience, they really couldn’t rely on anything.

Rosvitha sat quietly for a moment before standing up and heading to her study. A moment later, she returned to the living room holding several novels.

She placed the novels on the coffee table. Leon leaned over to take a look. “Me and My Lover, Afternoon Nap, Beloved Albatross… What are these?”

“Novels,” she paused, then added, “Romance novels.”

“I thought you were always studying magic or something in your study. I didn’t expect you to secretly read novels.”

Rosvitha gave him a glance and ignored his teasing, getting straight to the point. “In order to provide Noia with suitable romantic material, even if we’re not good at dating, we need to make up for it tonight by studying. Learning from these books should be efficient.”

During the nights before the entrance exam, the couple stayed up all night studying to pass the test. But this time, they only had one night to prepare.

“Review before the exam? Now that’s something I won’t get tired of,” Leon said as he sat down next to Rosvitha. The two of them began flipping through the novels in front of them.

Of course, Rosvitha had already read these romance novels several times before, so she only selected the parts related to “dates” to read.

Leon didn’t foolishly read every word either; that would take too much time. His method was to skim through the chapter titles first, looking for chapters that might describe dates, and then jump directly to those chapters.

Each had their own method, saving time and effort.

While reading, they also made notes. They recorded some of the date content from the novels to organize and select later.

After a few hours, Leon and Rosvitha had thoroughly absorbed the date sections of these romance novels and made quite a few notes.

They exchanged a glance, then simultaneously revealed a knowing smile, the smile of academic achievers.

They combined their notes and began selecting what suited them best.

The first item on the list was “watching a ballet.” The theater would be crowded, the atmosphere elegant, and they would simply be watching a ballet, so there wouldn’t be any strange activities. It was perfect for them.

“How about a couple’s bar… Hmm, no, scratch that,” Rosvitha said.

Leon nodded in agreement, as he wasn’t very good at drinking. Also, since they were using this for their daughter’s essay material, Noia would probably be secretly observing them tomorrow. Getting drunk and acting out of character during their daughter’s observation wouldn’t be a good idea.

Next, the couple organized some other date ideas that suited them.

What is suitable for them?

That is, there are no messy couple games, no overly intimate physical contact, while still being able to show the heartwarming theme of “parental love” in the project.

To be honest, it’s quite difficult.

But in the end, I managed to cobble together a list of activities for a date, enough to keep them occupied for a whole day.

Leon looked at the list with satisfaction.

“Well, as long as we follow this tomorrow, we definitely won’t mess up!”

Even Rosvita, rarely, agreed with Leon’s point of view.

“That’s right, we can definitely provide our daughter with a perfect date experience!”

The couple popped open a bottle of champagne.

Little did they know, the last time they opened champagne together was on the eve of the school enrollment ceremony.

The outcome of that, well, those who understand know.

So this time… can the couple escape the law of opening champagne and inevitable mishap?

Director Noia K. Melkvi presents her heartfelt masterpiece — “Parental Love”!

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