If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
Chapter 10 Table of contents

“Goodness…!”

Count Roland’s ball was just three days away.

Despite diligently studying the etiquette to be observed at the ball, I realized now that it wasn’t the real issue.

Ania had just opened my wardrobe, claiming she would help me choose an outfit for the ball, and her expression turned to shock.

“…Why don’t you have proper clothes?”
“This is clothing, isn’t it? Comfortable and good.”

Edward was inherently a simpleton, knowing only magic and swordsmanship.
He had no interest in noble gatherings or parties.

Consequently, the state of his wardrobe was dreadful. There were only a few training outfits, knight uniforms, and academy robes.

“…Where can I find a halfwit who attends a ball in comfortable clothes?”

Initially thinking it wasn’t a big problem, seeing Ania use unusually harsh words made me realize the gravity of the situation.

As she hurriedly went through my clothes, Ania sighed and tousled her hair.

“Well then, what should I wear? How about this?”

When I pulled out my knight uniform, Ania sighed again and messed up her hair even more.

“I can’t believe it. My husband has no fashion sense.”
“Uniforms are good. They elevate the honor of the knights, and besides, aren’t they aesthetically pleasing?”

I quite liked the knight uniform.
It resembled modern suits, making it the most decent-looking outfit.

However, Ania completely disagreed.

“If you wear the uniform, you’ll become a laughingstock.”
“Is it that bad?”
“It is.”

As she rummaged through the wardrobe (which she could do in a few seconds), Ania grabbed my hand, muttered, “That won’t do,” and pulled me away.

“We need to go buy clothes.”
“Do we have to buy clothes just for the ball?”
“Definitely!”
“How extravagant…”

It seemed wasteful to buy clothes that would be worn once.
The Radner family’s financial situation was bad enough to make it difficult to be called nobility.

It wasn’t a time for such luxuries.

“For someone like me to buy someone else’s clothes…”
“…”

However, when Ania said that, I was left speechless.
In the end, she led me outside the mansion.

***

We arrived by carriage in a city not far from the mansion.

It was a commercial city named Frelon, a bustling hub of commerce where countless merchants came and went.

From the outskirts of the village, numerous baggage carts were lined up, undergoing inspections.
However, we had no need to go through it.

“I’m Ania of the Brontë family.”
“Oh, Miss! I’ll call for an escort!”
“No, there’s no need. We just came to shop with my husband.”

Having a lady from the powerful Brontë family meant inspection was unnecessary.

Of course, if I had come alone, things might have been different.

Passing through the castle gate revealed the city’s vast landscape.

Since coming to this world, I had only seen the Radner family, the capital, and the mansion, so this scene was quite unfamiliar.

There were merchants loudly selling their goods and wholesale dealers skillfully managing their stalls.

Having lived in the world of nobility every day, witnessing the lives of commoners like this was strangely fascinating.

However, the carriage was headed in a different direction.

It was a street a little away from the city’s bustling center, with a neatly paved road.
Shops selling jewelry and clothing lined both sides of the street.

“Now, Edward, let’s go.”

As soon as we arrived, Ania promptly pulled me down and led me inside.

“But… at least let me choose my clothes freely.”
“Absolutely not!”

She was adamant.

Why put so much thought into buying one piece of clothing?

Moreover, from my perspective, the noble’s clothing was tacky and excessively flamboyant.
In this medieval-themed world, decorated outfits symbolized beauty and wealth.

When you looked at the clothing of noble ladies and gentlemen with money to spare, they were adorned with jewels and rhinestones, sparkling ostentatiously.

However, they looked excessively gaudy, like clothes plastered with a brand logo, advertising their luxury.

“Come on, let’s go in. I’ll choose the clothes for you.”

As Ania guided me into the store, a deep despair engulfed me.

The shop was filled with clothes reminiscent of those worn during the Louis XIII era.
Not only were there solid primary colors like pink and yellow, but the shoulders were also bizarrely raised.

But the biggest one: why on earth would a man wear a skirt over stockings?

“My Lady, I’m really sorry, but this is a bit…”
“These are in fashion these days.”
“No… no matter how you look at it, this is a bit much.”

A brief struggle ensued between Ania, who insisted on making me wear the clothes, and me, who resisted vehemently. In the end, Ania was the first to give up.

“Well, what kind of clothes do you prefer?”
“Something less flashy, no skirts, and not weird colors like pink or green.”
“Alright, how about something like this?”

Surprisingly, the outfit Ania picked was quite decent.

Although it still had decorations like feathers or rhinestones, it was a suit rather than a skirt.

It featured a white shirt with a tailcoat, a glossy gray waistcoat, a butterfly tie, and modern trousers that hung straight.

“Among the ones you’ve chosen so far, this one suits me the best.”
“I’m relieved.”

It resembled a 19th-century British suit and had the vibe of equestrian attire.
Nevertheless, compared to the ridiculous clothes Ania had chosen for me before, this one seemed like a fairy’s gown.

I changed into the outfit in the fitting room and came out.

“How does it look?”

It had been a while since I wore a suit, so I struck a slightly awkward pose. Ania nodded approvingly.

“It… fits you.”
“Is it okay?”
“Although it makes you look a bit older, it suits you.”

Her reaction was somewhat lukewarm.

Well… I just can’t get used to this world’s aesthetic sense.

For some reason, Ania lightly cupped her flushed cheek and gave me a sidelong glance.

Although my face suited flashy clothes well, it also looked good in formal wear.
The low-crowned hat with jewels and a cane adorned with gems gave me the appearance of a successful young entrepreneur.

“I feel good…”

***

Even wearing ordinary daily clothes, Edward looked decent, but now, dressed up, he attracted people’s attention as a splendid gentleman.

In fact, every time we passed by a person, they gave him a sidelong glance. Ania found that fact oddly pleasing.

“Does it really suit me?”

However, with a doubtful expression, he occasionally looked at his reflection in the window.

“It suits you. It’s splendid.”
“How about growing my beard a bit?”
“I think it’s better not to.”
“Then, let’s leave it at that.”

Edward seemed to like the clothes Ania bought for him. Seeing him fuss over the outfit several times, her heart swelled with joy.

She felt an overwhelming desire to embrace Edward tightly at that moment. Would the day come when he truly loved her? Would he rejoice sincerely at their marriage instead of considering it a mere contract?

Ania envisioned a future where Edward clung to her, pleading for love with an affectionate face. Yet, now was not the time. She wasn’t ready to give love to Edward first. Someday, he would come to desire her, and love would be given at the right moment.

Ania was determined not to be betrayed again, remembering the past when she had been the one who gave love first. She didn’t want to be the one left with unfulfilled wishes.

‘Thus, it’s not yet time for me to love you,’ she thought. She gazed at Edward’s handsome profile, a tender smile on her lips unseen by anyone else.

***

After three days, the day of Count Orlando’s ball arrived. I wore the golden mask Ania had prepared and put on the new clothes we had bought. Accompanied by the maids, I wandered through the mansion.

“Oh my, sir… you look completely different when you’ve dressed up!”
“How wonderful it would be if you dressed like this more often.”

The maids couldn’t help but express their admiration.

With the maids’ incomprehensible praise and constant touches on my face and hair, a somewhat decent face was reflected in the mirror. It was like the face of a male protagonist on the cover of a romance fantasy novel.

As I admired the now well-groomed face that had become mine, one of the maids giggled and said, “It’s done now.”
“Can I take off the mask?”
“No, please wait a moment. My Lady will be here soon.”

I sat on the sofa in front of Ania’s dressing room with awkward steps and glanced at the clock. Fortunately, there was some time left.

‘Well, even if we’re a bit late, it shouldn’t be a problem for an earl’s ball,’ I thought, as it wasn’t as formal as a ball hosted by a prince or princess.

Lost in such thoughts for a while, the dressing room door slowly opened.

“Ani…”

I was about to call Ania’s name, but I froze when I saw her.

“My Lord.”

Anyone would have.

With a slightly lifted gaze that was alluring, golden hair cascading down with volume, and a yellow dress like gold, Ania looked like a goddess.

“How does it look?”

She whispered with that beautiful face.

“Does it suit me?”

“…Yes, it suits you very well.”

Ania chuckled softly, radiating something bright and warm like the dazzling morning sunlight.

“Shall we go now?” she said, walking ahead.

As she spoke, I could only stare blankly at Ania’s figure, captivated by her presence.

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