I Have Returned, but I Cannot Lay down My Gun
Chapter 178 Table of contents

“Oh, this is nice.”

“Don’t sleep here; go sleep in a bed.”

“Ah, I wasn’t actually planning on sleeping here.”

- Lololololololol - What’s going on? What are they hinting at? Why are they so close? - Forget that, sell that tail pillow that was stuck between Dice’s thighs already!!! - Start the auction right now, take my money!!!! - Fact: This is technically an advertisement stream. - This isn’t just any ad, lmao.

Dice had fully embraced the tail pillow, merging with the floor. Unlike my real tail, this pillow was long, thick, and made to be soft and squishy when hugged. It wasn’t tapered or flexible toward the end; instead, it maintained the same thickness throughout. Only the printed tail design got thinner toward the tip.

Anyway, with my tail being about 170 cm long, unless you're particularly tall, it’s big enough to hug comfortably. Well, at least it's not a dakimakura with my actual likeness on it. I’ll take that as a small blessing.

In other words, I could let this one slide. As my head cleared, it didn’t bother me much anymore.

More importantly, as the person this was based on, I needed to check the quality of the product.

While pulling out the pillow, I glanced at the letter tossed nearby. It contained a similar message as before. The only difference this time was that this product wasn’t in full production yet.

Basically, the letter was asking if I’d be okay with them creating merchandise based on me—something along those lines. Naturally, they’d included the links to the manufacturer and retailer, very courteous and all.

After briefly checking both, I didn’t find any issues. This seemed to be a company that frequently produced merchandise for pro gamers.

Plus, there were other items beneath the pillow. Time to review them as well.

“All the items we’re showing today are prototypes and haven’t been released yet. I’ll post the links to where they’ll be available for sale or pre-order, so you can check those out.”

Rustle, rustle.

I pulled out another small box from a corner, wrapped entirely in bubble wrap. Inside was a moderately sized mug. It had my logo and the word “EUGENE” engraved on it. Thankfully, the handle wasn’t shaped like a snake’s tail.

Underneath that was a t-shirt, wrapped in plastic. It was something you could wear casually. A black shirt with a subtle green tint and a digitalized image of an anaconda proudly printed on it.

It seemed Icarus had decided to push my personal logo in this direction. The design was tactical and quite to my liking.

I introduced the items in the order I pulled them out of the box.

“This is a mug. Nothing too special… just my logo and name printed on it.”

“If you keep using that mug, will you grow a tail?”

“Of course. But, to be honest, I don’t think I want to see millions of people growing snake tails. I might have to cancel this release.”

“Ah, no, please don’t!”

- Why do they make nonsense sound so natural? Lololol - But I wanna grow a snake tail too!!!! - I just had a bad thought but if I say it, I’ll get banned, so I’ll shut up. - Dice is startled lolololol - Their chemistry is honestly something else, lmao.

A snake tail, huh?

That’s not a sight I’d enjoy imagining. Even if it’s not really my decision, this is part of my identity now… Wait, why am I taking this so seriously? Maybe it’s because I recently picked up a tail avatar file for Dice. Come to think of it, I forgot to tell her. I’ll send it when I remember. With that thought, I pulled out the second item, the t-shirt. Even with my logo, it didn’t look bad.

“Next is the t-shirt. Seems fine to me, but I don’t know what you all think. It’ll be on the sale list anyway, so if you like it, go ahead and buy it.”

“I’ve never seen someone advertise like this in my life.”

Was that a bit too rude?

I should probably add something to make up for it.

“Thank you in advance for your support.”

- Lolololololol - Is this what we call being defeated by capitalism? - More like a draw with capitalism, lmao. - The advertisers are probably losing their minds right now. - It’s funnier because she’s so blunt about it, lol.

But honestly, I didn’t have much more to say.

Meanwhile, Dice was behind me, rustling through the remaining items in the box. There were snapbacks, handbags, phone cases, and other such goods, but to be honest, they weren’t much different from the t-shirt. Just ordinary items with my logo slapped on them.

I hate to say it, but the tail pillow, which was more unique to my brand, and the Nendoroid collection that Dice was currently messing with on the floor, were far more interesting to look at.

Still, practical items like these would naturally take this form. There weren’t any defects with the products, so they’d all likely pass quality control.

I wrote a brief message summarizing my thoughts and sent it back.

“Phew, I’ve never opened this many packages before.”

“Well, there aren’t many left now, so let’s push through.”

Thanks to Dice’s help, we were moving much faster through the packages. Soon, the room was filled with empty plastic wrap and flattened boxes. The remaining packages contained personal items I had ordered—things like calorie gainers, high-end cooking tools, a grill, and bath products.

Speaking of baths, it reminded me that my shedding season was coming soon. It’ll be my first time since I returned to this world.

Anyway, for now, I’ll finish up my backlog one thing at a time.

“The rest are my personal packages, so I won’t be opening them on stream… can you help with the recycling?”

“Sure.”

I grabbed a handful of the boxes while Dice picked up the rest. I heard her grunting behind me, prompting me to respond instinctively.

“You’re already struggling?”

“I do work out, you know.”

“Cardio is for weight loss.”

The drone cam hovered inside the house.

Just as the chat was spamming single characters, I briefly placed the boxes at the front door and handed Dice a pair of slippers. The cutesy script on them read “Seo Yerin,” though, regrettably, the handwriting was mine.

But something else seemed to have caught her eye first.

“Hamina?”

“Oh, that’s Harmony. I had a small housewarming party last time.”

“Ah, got it.”

Rustle, rustle.

Dice struggled to put on the slippers, her view blocked by the boxes. I nudged her foot with my tail, guiding it into the slipper, and she quickly slid it on.

The sound of boxes hitting the floor echoed as she dropped the pile. After I closed the door with my tail, I checked the time as we walked down the hallway. 8:47 PM—pretty late into the evening.

Maybe that’s why I caught a familiar voice with a soft tone brushing past my ear.

“Eugene, I didn’t eat dinner before coming over.”

“Feels like that’s not all you’re about to say.”

“Well… I’m kind of too lazy to go back to my place.”

“There’s a spare bed in the guest room. You can sleep there.”

“Wow, Eugene, you’re loaded.”

A brief pause.

Then she spoke again.

“…Wait, hold on. How are you answering so casually? Most people would decline at this point.”

“I live alone, so it’s not a big deal.”

“Can’t I sleep with you?”

“No. You can’t.”

Swoosh.

Dice’s words faltered as she watched my tail swaying in front of her.

“There’s no room in my bed because of the tail.”

“…I’ve had all kinds of weird experiences today. But don’t worry, I wasn’t actually planning to stay the night. I wouldn’t ask to crash at someone’s place so suddenly. Besides, I have scrims tomorrow, so I should wake up in a familiar environment.”

“Whatever works for you. I’m fine with anything.”

As we continued, she added.

“But I really am hungry, though.”

“Is that so?”

Click, beep.

The heavy metal door closed behind us as we stepped back inside and took off our shoes. Our destination was clear. Dice, however, looked confused since I didn’t say anything. I simply rummaged through the fridge.

A moment later, I placed three boxes of premium beef—ones I had received a few days ago—on the table.

The drone cam began to spin, capturing Dice’s curious expression.

“…Wow, I didn’t expect such a high-class dinner.”

“Help me set the table, then.”

The drone cam rotated.

I glanced at the camera and added.

“Think of this as both a dinner treat and an ad for the gift set.”

Guess this will be my first-ever mukbang.

I didn’t expect to start like this.

“…In conclusion, it’s estimated that the players’ skills have improved by about 20% compared to last year. However, it’s premature to interpret this as purely positive. Players from other countries are also progressing each year. This year, contrary to expectations, the second-tier Korean players have shown a greater improvement curve than predicted.

According to the attached fifth image, while basic shooting accuracy hasn’t changed significantly, accuracy during movement and when shooting at moving targets has increased by nearly 40% compared to expected analysis, and survivability has improved by approximately 15%.

This is likely due to the addition of the player Eugene this year, but more accurate results will need to be confirmed after the first-tier Korean members participate in tomorrow’s scrim…”

“Chris, still awake?”

“Ah.”

The sound of typing stopped.

The door to the hotel room opened, and two stocky men made eye contact. One of them, holding a can of cold soda, walked in. As the can clinked onto the table, a faint hiss followed as it was opened.

It wasn’t too late at night, but it was well past their bedtime. Chris, as he was called, took a sip of the sweet drink, the taste traveling down his throat. He spoke, though not in Korean.

He continued speaking in the distinct tones of Mandarin.

“I was analyzing the scrim results.”

“You too?”

“Sounds like others are doing it as well.”

“Well, wouldn’t they be?”

The Taiwanese national team.

Always stuck between overpowered countries with heavier teams or unnervingly skilled players, they were often called the weakest, yet they had never completely fallen behind. The most desperate team. The one brimming with the most tenacity…

That’s why they were still awake. After today, only the Asia qualifiers remained. Since they had no specific schedule for tomorrow, they stayed up late analyzing the plays.

Moreover, since they were the first to send out their first-tier players, they had certain advantages.

“Don’t overdo it. Drink up and get some sleep. Tomorrow is when things get serious.”

“You’re right.”

Direct scrim data analysis rights.

This privilege was only granted to the first country to send out their top-tier players. The reason was simple: the earlier a team’s main force appeared, the more time the other teams had to analyze them before the Asia qualifiers.

Since their first-tier team had competed on Monday, Korea, Japan, China, and Russia would spend the rest of the week dissecting Taiwan. This direct access to scrim data was given to counteract that disadvantage.

‘At last, we can catch a glimpse of that player’s secrets…’

In other words, this meant they could analyze the gameplay of Korea’s top-tier players—including Eugene’s—in more detail than any other country, as well as Japan, Russia, and China’s top players.

In contrast, other countries—under normal circumstances—didn’t have such access. There was no first-person spectator data available. The only things they could analyze were MOA (Map of Action) and movement patterns. However, teams like Taiwan, which sent out their first-tier players on the first day of week 4, had access to much more.

They could now scrutinize first-person perspectives of the players, their moment-to-moment movements, their preferred combat strategies, and other highly valuable data. And Taiwan needed this level of information if they were to survive.

Though divided into seven regions, the Chinese Federation still boasted an overwhelming infrastructure and a formidable player lineup.

Though its past military glory has faded, Russia once shared global dominance with the United States.

There was no need to explain the strength of the Japanese Republic.

And finally, there was South Korea—bordering the unique presence of North Korea, which led them to possess extraordinarily powerful military infrastructure, constantly selecting athletes with incredible physical abilities.

Taiwan, in contrast to these massive cogs turning in the region, was a fragile nation that could ignite just from the sparks of their clashes.

“Hoo.”

Though he had taken several sips, half the soda remained in the oversized can.

It felt like the remaining drink represented the long road they still had ahead.

The man who handed over the drink turned and left the room.

“I’m going to bed. It’s better to watch the scrims with a clear head tomorrow.”

“Take care.”

The door closed with a dry metallic sound.

The night was still bright for them.

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