If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
Chapter 20 Table of contents

“Would you like to have a meal together?”

Sometimes, admitting and accepting things, rather than stubbornly denying them, brings peace to the mind.

Whether it’s lingering feelings for something unattainable, intense feelings of inferiority, or an insurmountable gap in skills that cannot be closed…

Once the lingering attachments are discarded, one becomes aware of how powerless humans are in the face of the inexorable forces of destiny.

So, I had no choice but to admit it.

‘I am indeed drawn to Ania’s beauty.’

It’s natural to be captivated by something beautiful, akin to being intrigued by masterpieces of great artists like the Mona Lisa, A Starry Night, or the Last Supper.

I sighed as I swung my sword along a diagonal line, and the 100th straw doll was severed, its upper part falling to the ground with a soft thud.

Training hard, I felt my mind clear.

Smiling with satisfaction, I wiped away the sweat with the towel handed by a manservant.

“Now, let’s head back.”
“Yes, My Lord.”

After leaving the training ground and taking a shower, it was lunchtime, and I followed a maid directly to the dining hall.

“My Lord.”

And upon arriving at the dining hall, there was Ania.

I remembered she had left with Ricktman to discuss the southern silk business just a few days ago.
She wasn’t at the mansion in the morning, so it seemed she returned while I was training.

I casually took a seat with a composed expression.

“When did My Lady arrive? I didn’t notice you when I was training.”
“It would have been nice if you had.”

Ania, who had been making a somewhat sulky expression, smiled again.
Then, she lightly tapped the back of my hand.

I pretended not to see her gesture and closed my eyes, clasping my hands.

“Let’s pray.”
“My Lord, there’s something you’ve forgotten before that.”
“…?”

Watching Ania tap the back of my hand again, I cleared my throat and spoke.

“Everyone, please leave.”
“Yes, My Lord.”

I dismissed the attendants and slowly rose from the chair.

“Come.”

Ania whispered softly with flushed cheeks, and her voice brought back memories of the evening meal we shared a few days ago after returning from the firearms demonstration.

While the past few days had been uneventful, we had made promises for our future married life during that dinner.

‘Promise not to avoid Ania Bronte under any circumstances. Whatever happens.’
‘…I won’t cause unnecessary trouble, Your Highness.’

Eldrigan’s advice that communication is essential in marriage was as wise as his keen insight.

Ania thought that I hated her because I had been avoiding her.

She believed it was because of the attack on the way to the ball or perhaps my anger after talking to the Countess.
I was surprised to hear her say that.

In the story, I never imagined that Ania Bronte would worry about being hated by Edward Radner.

In the novel, Ania Bronte shows little interest in Edward.

Or rather, it seemed like she never loved him deeply.
Perhaps, due to various events, the course of the story had changed.

“So… just promise me one thing.”

On that day, Ania earnestly pleaded.

“Once a day, or at least before our meals, kiss the back of my hand.”

Why did she ask such a thing?
To Edward Radner, whom she didn’t even love, why did she make such a heartfelt request?

“And tell me that I’m beautiful. More beautiful than anyone else in the world.”

However, it wasn’t a difficult request.

A light kiss on the back of the hand was a standard greeting among nobles, especially among noble ladies.
Admitting that she was beautiful was stating a fact known to everyone.

“Alright.”

It didn’t seem difficult to accept or think about, but…

“All right. Don’t be shy.”

When I saw Ania’s smooth back of the hand, I blamed my recklessness.
I took a small breath and lightly kissed the back of Ania’s hand.

To forget that sensation, I tried to think about something else.
The fate of the dead men who succumbed to Ania’s seduction.
Their final moments.

After a brief kiss, Ania’s cheeks were slightly flushed.

“You’re beautiful today too.”
“Is that all?”
“More beautiful than anyone else in the world.”
“Hehe…”

Ania smiled satisfactorily.

Afterward, we prayed and started our meal, but I couldn’t tell how the food tasted or if I ate at all.

***

“My Lord.”

A few days later, as I was reading a book about magic in my room, suddenly, Lorendel knocked on the door.

“What is it?”
“A letter has arrived.”
“Come in.”

Lorendel quietly opened the door and handed me a letter.

It was an ordinary white letter sealed with red wax, and there was nothing distinct about it.

It simply read, ‘To Sir Edward Radner.’

“Do you know who sent it?”
“No, My Lord.”
“Alright. You may leave.”

I dismissed Lorendel and stared at the letter. When I first saw it, I didn’t notice, but the pattern on the sealing wax seemed oddly familiar.

An uneasy feeling crept in, and as I unsealed the letter and slowly unfolded its contents, my suspicions were confirmed.

“I’ll be coming soon…”

The letter contained only that phrase, but it was enough to predict who the sender was.

Johann Radner.
Edward’s estranged brother.

“I thought he might start moving soon.”

Winter had arrived. Winter brought occasional snowfall and cold winds, even in the warm south.

The flow of the story indicated that Johann Radner’s attack on the mansion was imminent.

“In the end, it has come to this.”

Sitting by the window, I recalled my memories of Johann Radner.

A man of dirty birth, living a life of discrimination.
Eventually, he delved into the underworld, seeking power and control.

However, Johann wasn’t satisfied with the immense wealth he amassed.
No matter how much money he gathered, the inherent class difference from birth always made him appear pathetic.

The gap between nobles with inheritance rights and an illegitimate child was an unbridgeable chasm.

The inferiority complex turned him into a mad dog hungry for power.
It was unclear whether this was due to his origin or his innate personality, which was driven by a fierce desire for power.

Regardless, the undeniable fact was that Johann Radner was dangerous.
He was ready to bite me with his sharp fangs at any moment, and the same applied to Ania.

While it was undoubtedly risky for Johann to lay hands on the daughter of Duke Bronte, the Emperor’s closest confidant, he saw nothing in his blinded anger.

His eventual imprisonment due to a large-scale investigation was a testament to the consequences of his actions.

Lost in these thoughts, someone suddenly knocked on the door.

“My Lord.”

I thought it was Lorendel again, but I couldn’t forget Ania’s voice.
As she opened the door, I saw her in attire slightly more elegant than her usual daily wear, but it was tasteful and not too flashy.

“What’s the matter, My Lady?”

As I inquired, Ania looked up at me and spoke.

“I will be leaving the mansion for two days…”

She shyly smiled and extended her hand.

“You’re leaving?”
“Yes.”
“What is the purpose?”

I asked, and Ania tilted her head.

“There’s a festival at the estate. My father asked if I could give a speech. Since I was returning to the estate, I thought of staying there for another day.”

The estate was just a short carriage ride away from the mansion.
But… I felt uneasy.

“…I’ll go with you.”
“Really?”
“Yes, indeed. Is there a problem?”
“No, it’s just… I’m curious about the reason.”
“The reason…”

I couldn’t say that Johann Radner had his eyes on my wife… I couldn’t reveal such a forbidden truth.
At this point, I was the only one aware of Johann’s identity as the drug lord.

Whether Ania would believe it or not was uncertain; even if she did, it would only make her uneasy.

So, I offered a plausible explanation.

“I don’t want to be separated from you again.”

It wasn’t a lie.
With Johann’s thugs potentially targeting Ania, it was a reasonable concern.

“Okay.”

Nevertheless, Ania laughed warmly without realizing my hidden thoughts, like a goldenglow that blooms even in winter.

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