If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
Chapter 22 Table of contents

“How did they sneak in…?”

With my right hand gripping Ania’s hand and my other hand resting on the hilt of my sword, I discreetly scanned our surroundings.

Ania’s face, filled with unease, briefly flashed by, and dark alleyways loomed beyond the reach of the firelight.

A wandering gaze was watching us from somewhere out there.

“Edward…”
“Stay quiet for a moment.”

I couldn’t find the origin of the gaze.

Amidst the fervor of the festival’s eve, people were excitedly gathered around, and the rhythm of musical instruments echoed in the vicinity.

Though sweat was beading on the hand holding the sword’s hilt, I was ready to draw it at any moment.

But the other party didn’t seem to be just an ordinary eavesdropper.

The chilling presence that licked at us like a snake soon dissipated into thin air.

In truth, it wasn’t a particularly formidable presence, not even comparable to Ricktman’s earnest confrontation.

They didn’t seem like someone powerful.
If they were, I would’ve never felt their gaze.

As one grows stronger, they become adept at concealing their presence.

It was clear that the person trailing us had merely been observing us, with no intention of causing a disturbance at the Brontë estate from the start.

“It’s alright now.”

I lightly grabbed Ania’s startled arm and resumed dancing with her.

“They don’t seem particularly formidable.”
“Are they the same people as last time?”

Ania’s arm trembled lightly, perhaps recalling the time she was kidnapped on the train.

“Probably.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Because if you die or get kidnapped, it’ll put me in a difficult situation.

I swallowed the rest of that sentence and matched Ania’s movements.

“You don’t have to worry, My Lady. I’ll handle it.”
“Okay. I trust you.”

Ania’s lips curled up slightly.

***

As the rhythm changed, we stopped dancing near the bonfire, slipping away from its vicinity.

Even after the sun had set, the atmosphere of the festival’s eve energized the entire village.

Since snow was rare in the southern regions, children greeted the sight of it with bright smiles and happily built snowmen with their parents.

It was a delightful scene.

Happy families could be seen around the village, dining and drinking in restaurants.
Couples wrapped in each other’s arms shared drinks at the tavern.

Seeing them reminded me of my family from six months ago, before I was reincarnated into this world.

Mother, father, siblings, friends…

How are they all doing? Are they healthy?

Will there ever come a day when I can return to Earth and visit them again?

“Husband.”

Lost in contemplation, Ania grabbed my arm.

She pointed her finger towards an alley.

There was a short path between narrow alleys, with an uphill road beyond it.

“Could you accompany me for a moment?”

After a brief hesitation, I nodded.

Though I felt uneasy about the secluded location, I was relieved that Ania was taking the initiative.

Since I wasn’t exceptionally skilled in combat, gathering information from the other side might help avoid Johann’s threats.

With that in mind, I followed Ania.

She slowly ascended the snow-covered stairs, and I supported her arm from behind, ready to catch her if she stumbled.

As we climbed, the heat of the festival gradually faded away. The lively voices of people grew distant, replaced by the sight of snow-covered rooftops and gently flickering bonfires in the village.

They seemed to grow further away in the distance. As if telling me, “There’s no place for you in this world.”

William Radner is not my father, and Ania Brontë is not my wife.

Legally, we’re married, but I cannot love her.

For a moment, as melancholy crept in, I shifted my gaze back to Ania’s back as she climbed the stairs.

Where could Ania be heading?

I wanted to ask, but there must be a reason why she didn’t say where.

***

Ania recalled events from her distant past.

Her childhood memories flowed in one by one.

Recalling those memories of unhappiness, when the world seemed only sepia-toned, brought a bitter smile to her face.

Ania was frail.

She frequently fell ill with colds and spent more time in her room than outside.

Thus, she experienced the feeling of ‘loneliness,’ which others might not understand until she became an adult at the tender age of eight.

Ania felt the cold and desolate emotion, akin to the winter sea, more piercingly than any stubborn cold.

Do people know?

The silence of a lonely room was more terrifying than a stubborn cold.

The days when children’s laughter outside the window were more tormenting than when one’s head was pounding.

As Ania climbed the stairs, memories from the distant past came flooding back, causing her to stop and look back.

A man taller than her, standing a couple of steps behind her, the man who was now her husband and the man she would soon love, was looking at her.

“What’s wrong?”
“No, it’s nothing.”

It had always been Edward.

The one who rescued her from bitter loneliness.

She had long forgotten the gratitude she felt.

Eight-year-old Ania didn’t know love.

In fact, she didn’t even know the word “friendship.”

So, for her, Edward was a dear friend.

The only friend for a person who never learned what it was.

But time, relentless as flowing water, gradually distances people’s relationships like melting ice.

After the business between the Brontë and Radner families concluded, Edward never returned to the Brontë estate.

At first, it saddened her.

She remembered crying for days at not being able to see her friend who used to visit every day.

But being born as a daughter of a duke meant more than just being born into a noble family.

Ania was destined to inherit the title of duchess.

She had to behave like a noble and know how to manage estates.

So, she had to grow up.

She had to become a noble.

That was why she had forgotten Edward for so long…

But looking back, it was love from the beginning.

She would sit by the window daily, waiting for Edward to climb the tree.

And on days when he didn’t come, she would spend the whole day buried under her blanket in melancholy.

Just the thought of what story to tell tomorrow made her heart swell with excitement,

And with each meeting, her world expanded.

After becoming an adult, Ania had been engaged several times.

It wasn’t what she wanted.

Marriage among nobles was originally like that.

None of those engagements pleased her.

The men who courted her were nothing like Edward.

They only saw her appearance.

They risked their lives because of her beauty.

So when she showed her true self, they called her a witch.

A witch who seduced men to their deaths.

She didn’t know which tune to dance to.

Ania gradually withdrew herself.

The beautiful appearance she had always been proud of now felt like a curse.

Her heart, torn to pieces, could never be put back together.

And then, by chance, she met Edward again.

***

“We’ve arrived.”

At the top of the stairs was a small hill.

A small tree stood there, along with a small wooden chair.

“This is….”

As we walked, the landscape of the estate came into view.

Every house was lit, and in the distance, the mansion of the Brontë family could be seen.

Ania looked out at the scenery.

The twinkling lights reflected in her sparkling eyes as if the sky’s stars were captured there.

She smiled softly, like the scent of spring flowers, and then looked at me.

“Do you remember this place?”

Ania asked so.

But I don’t remember anything.

Would this be a place filled with memories of Edward and Ania?

But unfortunately, I am not Edward.

There is no place for me to intrude into their memories.

However, I could provide her with the answer she expected.

‘Ah, I remember.’ Saying that would end the discussion.

But such words did not come out.

I couldn’t steal memories that weren’t mine and answer as if they were mine.

‘No…’

That’s what I was about to say.

A sudden memory passed through my mind, an old memory that wasn’t mine.

Edward Radner at ten years old, and Ania Brontë at eight.

They were sitting on this hill.

Looking at the scenery of the village as autumn leaves fell.

“It’s been a long time.”

Unexpectedly, words I couldn’t understand the meaning came out of my mouth.

“Really… It’s been a long time.”

Unconsciously, the corners of my mouth lifted.

Nostalgia came flooding back.

Something warm trickled down my cheeks.

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