I Have Returned, but I Cannot Lay down My Gun
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Chapter 196 Table of contents

"Ugh, I'm so tired."

Time seemed to fly by like an arrow, vanishing in the blink of an eye. One moment, a match would be over, and the next, the debriefing — or rather, the snack break — would conclude. After that brief rest, it was time to dive back into another match. This cycle repeated several times until the afternoon melted away, the sky slowly darkening into shades of twilight.

The fourth match had just ended, and it was now about 20 minutes to five in the evening. Xi IMPRESSIVE, one of the competitors, had slipped out of the debriefing room under the pretense of needing the bathroom. Truth be told, he simply wanted some fresh air. He wasn’t one of those flashy figures like Dice or Yujin, known to anyone even remotely interested in AP competitions. Without his national team jersey, he was just another face in the crowd, which allowed him to wander freely without attracting too much attention.

Woooooo!

The roar of the crowd was deafening, swelling from all around. Through the large glass windows, Xi could see the park below, packed shoulder-to-shoulder with people. The sheer number of spectators gathered at Yongsan Park was overwhelming.

It had only been a minute since he stepped out, and he figured he had another two or three to spare. He wandered around, peeking into the rest areas and convenience stores, even daring to glance at the restricted areas where regular visitors couldn’t go.

As he strolled, he noticed a group of staff members rushing around, arms laden with equipment and cables. Behind them was someone who looked like a supervisor, issuing orders. Curiosity piqued, Xi hesitated, unsure whether to approach. But the supervisor soon spotted him, and their eyes met.

The supervisor’s gaze lingered on the national team ID hanging around Xi’s neck. Recognition dawned, and his face softened as he spoke.

"Oh, you're one of the players! It’s a bit dangerous here; you might get knocked around."

"Ah, right. Sorry, I was just wondering... what exactly are you all doing here?"

"Hmm? Oh, we’re just cleaning up some unused equipment. Since this area is for solo play right now, we need to rearrange the facilities for the upcoming AP Duo and Squad matches, which will take place in about a month."

"Got it..."

"Even though we’re still in the middle of the matches today, we’re trying to clean up behind the scenes without getting in anyone’s way. You know how it is, right? The schedule’s tight, even if today’s games wrap up around 6 or 7, the next day’s already packed."

"True. There’s the fan meeting, dinner plans, and I heard there’s a concert tonight too. Not exactly training, but I didn’t expect to be out of the house for three days. Good thing I prepared."

Hearing all that, Xi felt the weight of the event sinking in. The Asia Qualifiers — something that had seemed endless — would soon reach its conclusion, at least for the solo competitors. He had witnessed just a small piece of that reality unfolding.

By the end of today, the players gathered here would fall into two groups: those who would have to wait for next year and those who would start preparing for the end-of-year finals. Fewer people than expected would make it to the finals, especially considering the overlap between Duo and Squad participants.

Suddenly, the words Yujin had mentioned during the first debriefing resurfaced in his mind, sending a chill down his spine.

He remembered the feeling from last year, but the preparation for this year's qualifiers had been so different that it nearly made him forget everything.

"...."

Fortunately, Xi had secured his place in the finals by a narrow margin. Unless he was eliminated early in the next two matches, he had nothing to worry about. Shaking off his thoughts, he offered a quick nod and a smile.

"Thanks for your hard work."

"Ah, no, you guys are the ones doing all the hard work. By the way, could you give me a quick autograph?"

"Of course, sure!"

Xi scribbled his signature on a piece of paper, exchanged some polite words, and the brief interaction came to an end. Six minutes had passed since he had left the debriefing room. The sun was still out, but its intense rays had mellowed, casting long shadows over the event. It was time to head back inside.

'...What division are you with?'

'Task Force Dagger, Madam Secretary. You can call me Aurora. A T-level threat attempted a bombing at the temporary Defense Department office. Rebar pierced his abdomen, so he shouldn’t be moved.'

'I administered painkillers, anesthetics, and medical nanomachines. We’ll begin cutting the rebar once the anesthesia takes effect to avoid shock from the vibrations.'

Bzzzz!

"Ugh..."

Xi blinked awake from a light doze. His body was stiff from napping in his chair, and he groggily forced himself up. He splashed water on his face in the bathroom to shake off the sleep, and finally, his vision cleared. Sunlight streamed in through a small window. It was past 4:30 in the afternoon.

Returning to his office, he activated his tablet to check for any newly updated reports or action items. Most of the important matters had already been addressed, save for a few that had received more detailed guidance. Sighing, Xi reached down to open a drawer when a polite knock interrupted him.

"Who is it?"

"McClane, sir. I’ve brought your coffee."

"Come in."

The door opened with a soft click, and a neatly dressed assistant entered, balancing a tray of coffee and light snacks. The rich aroma of the coffee filled the office as they exchanged a glance, acknowledging an unspoken understanding.

"You have a meeting scheduled for 17:00. The landing site is in South Korea, at the U.S. military base. The estimated arrival time is 17:43."

"Hmm."

Xi paused briefly in thought. While it wasn’t polite to let someone wait, his decision would determine whether or not to issue further orders to his assistant. After a moment of consideration, he responded.

"Tell them that no one is to disturb me until I come out or summon someone myself."

"Understood."

The door closed softly, and with it, the soundproofing system activated. Xi’s office became an impenetrable fortress. He retrieved his personal tablet, activating the thermite shredding system under his desk as a precaution. His screen flickered to life, and after a fingerprint scan and an iris scan, the name "Janet G. Harper" appeared on the screen, confirming his identity.

He swiftly input his access key, bringing up a new request file marked with the seals of the Secretary of Defense and the Army’s Personnel Department.

"Those damned bureaucrats in Washington..."

Despite his words, there was no ignoring their influence. The Omega Virus wasn’t just an American issue—it had global implications. Icarus had managed to sweep away the impurities that clogged the infrastructure necessary for society to function.

Of course, it wasn’t all as simple as that. Icarus and its teams had faced prison escapees, gangs, and rioters, but they had also contended with militarized private security forces, defected U.S. soldiers, and even foreign powers like Russia and China, who had waged an all-out war against the U.S. This effort was bolstered by a multitude of armed terrorists.

The result was an astronomical number of enemies, with Task Force Dagger, the spearhead of Icarus, racking up a kill count of 10,000 over four years.

"This is the foundation we’ve rebuilt upon," Xi muttered, recalling the countless figures the Task Force had crossed paths with during their operations. Many of those helped by Dagger had likely already made their way into positions of power, though most remained scattered across various departments, including Homeland Security, Defense, Treasury, Justice, Commerce, and Health and Human Services.

Barring any unforeseen events, it was likely that by the next year—or rather, the year after—one of those individuals would become the next President of the United States. Xi’s role in shaping that future was undeniable.

"These are the moments when careers are made," he muttered.

Without hesitation, Xi pressed his thumb onto the screen, adding his approval to the Department of Defense request. Then, he placed the tablet back into his drawer and deactivated the thermite shredder. The document would now remain sealed until the following year, awaiting the moment when Henry officially took his seat in the White House.

'Soldiers must be dedicated to their country. The country, in turn, must reward that dedication. But can we truly say we’re doing that? No, we must do more.'

Xi had always emphasized the importance of honoring that dedication.

He didn’t know how Yujin had returned, but by all accounts, she should have been classified as KIA during an operation. If anyone deserved the Medal of Honor, it was her. He had hoped to visit her personally in South Korea to see how she was doing, but that wasn’t an option with his current rank and responsibilities. If he were a regular civilian, he might have been able to, but now he found himself aboard the E-4B command center, flying 900 kilometers per hour over Southeast Asia.

Such was the intricate and ornate life afforded to the Secretary of Defense.

"Well, this is cold."

Xi glanced down at his coffee, now cooled to an unappetizing temperature. But it was still drinkable, and he wasn’t one to complain, especially when the caffeine was more about keeping his mind sharp than enjoying the taste. Checking the time, he noted it was already 4:55—only five minutes until his meeting.

This overseas tour, starting from Central Asia and continuing through the Pacific, had been an exhausting ordeal. It would have been easier if he could have flown directly to Japan or South Korea, but the constant unrest in the Middle East always complicated things.

"Damn oil," Xi muttered, signaling for his assistant to summon Edwin Sirkins, the chief of staff, without drawing any attention.

Though no verbal response followed, just seconds later, the vibration sensors in the walls detected movement.

Knock knock.

The door opened soundlessly, and in stepped Edwin Sirkins, impeccably dressed but visibly hardened beneath his suit—a man both chief of staff and Secret Service agent.

Xi cut straight to the point.

"Do you think any of Yujin’s files are still buried in the South Korean database?"

The abrupt question skipped over several steps, a bad habit of Xi’s that was hard to break. He often bypassed greetings and explanations, expecting those around him to keep up. His query was an unspoken check on Edwin’s quick thinking and awareness of the issue.

The unspoken context was clear—Yujin’s military history was already being revised in the U.S., but there could be conflicting files in South Korea that hadn’t been updated yet. Preventing any potential conflict required preemptive action.

Edwin didn’t hesitate in his reply, though his answer was unexpected.

"You’ll need to contact Yujin directly for that."

"Why?"

"Deep-cover agents in South Korea reported that the files are locked behind an 'unbreakable high-level encryption algorithm.' It’s possible that without the Icarus gear itself, we won’t be able to decrypt them. The files may even be linked directly to the gear."

"Damn. Guess there’s no surprising her then. We’ll have to find another approach."

'Reminder: 3 minutes until the meeting.'

There wasn’t much time left to continue the conversation, but with a two-night, three-day stay planned in South Korea, there would be plenty of opportunities to follow up.

"We’ll discuss this later. You can go."

"Understood."

As the door closed, the hologram projector hummed to life.

The day was ending, but in many ways, it was just beginning.

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