If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
Chapter 28 Table of contents

Ania was crying.

She clung to me in my arms.

“Don’t leave my side,” she cried, holding onto me.

Her gasping sobs were so unfamiliar that all I could do was stare blankly at Ania’s trembling forehead.

“Ania….”

I was sure she would leave me.

Ania Bronte didn’t love Edward Radner.

She was a woman who didn’t understand what love was.

Yet here she was, asking me not to leave her, begging me not to hate her.

Was this also to win my heart?
To turn Edward Radner’s heart towards her?

But if these trembling shoulders and shaky voice were just an act, what in the world could I believe in?

That’s why.

Despite vowing to leave,
Despite resolving to end our doomed relationship beautifully someday…

“Please….”

I tried to raise her head gently, but Ania kept her head bowed deeply.

Her disheveled golden hair draped over her face like a curtain, and the air heated by her ragged breaths gently escaped.

“Ania. Look at me.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I want to talk.”
“No! I don’t want to hear it! I know you’re going to ask for a divorce.”

Yeah.

That’s what I was going to say.

Until you cried and begged.

I thought I knew what you wanted.

As someone who couldn’t properly protect you, I thought you had had enough.

So I still don’t know why you want me so badly.

‘Should I ask?’

Ania Bronte… Can I believe your words?

If you say it’s because you love me,
Can I believe it without a doubt?

I don’t know, but if you don’t ask me to leave, I won’t.

Even if this relationship ends in disaster.
Even if this love may eventually kill me.

“I won’t leave.”

The wind was blowing fiercely.

I covered Ania’s cooling body with my coat.

“I won’t leave.”

Guiding her chilled body, I gently pushed Ania’s back.

Our footsteps climbing the hill were heading to the same place.

***

The harvest festival ended without any major incidents.

As it was impossible to immediately take Ania, who was shivering from the cold, back to our manor, we decided to stay at the Bronte estate for one more day and return the next.

Valentine Bronte seemed concerned about his daughter and didn’t want to leave Ania’s side for a long time.

I thought he might stay with her all night, but fortunately, one of the servants mentioned that he needed to start early the following day, so he returned to his room.

After Valentine Bronte left, I checked on Ania’s condition in her room.

When I opened the door, the white moonlight illuminated the room.

It was a remarkably spacious room.

If the servants hadn’t informed me beforehand that it was her room, I might have mistaken it for the hall.

I could see a pure white bed by the window.

Lace curtains adorned the top of the bed, and the neatly arranged bedding exuded a cozy scent unique to freshly laundered sheets.

I slowly approached the bed and gently sat beside Ania, who was lying with her eyes closed.

I touched her forehead; thankfully, she didn’t have a fever.

I had been worried about her being outside in the cold weather for too long, so it was fortunate.

After briefly brushing her sweat-drenched hair, I lifted my head and looked around the room, feeling a strange sensation.

It was because this room, which I was entering for the first time, emitted a familiar atmosphere that was strangely comforting.

“Ugh…”

Suddenly, my head began to throb with pain.
It felt just like when I climbed the hill.

Several scenes flashed through my mind once again.

A girl lies on a bed, and a boy sits by the window.
They seemed to be chatting happily.
In autumn, when the leaves turn red.

The boy and the girl… were probably Edward and Ania.

Gradually, my consciousness returned to the present, where snow fell outside the window.

Scenes from the past overlapped with the view outside.

Why am I seeing these scenes?
Are they memories lingering in Edward’s mind?

No matter how hard I tried to think, I couldn’t find a satisfactory answer.
So, I just sat beside Ania and gently brushed her hair.

***

“Good… morning.”
“Did you sleep… well?”

It had been a week since we returned to the mansion.

“Shall we… have breakfast?”
“Yes……”

The piled-up snow had melted away, and the chilly winter winds had been replaced by the warmth of early spring.

It wasn’t just the weather that had changed.

“This is delicious.”
“It’s tasty.”

Our relationship has also strangely changed.
Especially Ania’s attitude… How should I put it?

It’s distinctly different from before.

It’s as if she’s avoiding me.
Before, she approached me naturally, but now she can’t even look me in the eye properly.

When I try to speak, she gets startled and can’t string a proper sentence together.

Somehow, this has been going on for a week.

The only sound in the quiet hall was the noise of utensils colliding, and it felt like I would drown in the silence.

I should say something, but I don’t have anything to say.
It’s a strange feeling.

Before it became this awkward, what did we talk about during meals?

“……”

Looking back, Ania initiated most of the conversations.

‘How’s the sword training going?’ or maybe, ‘Do you want to go for a walk together?’ and such…

Maybe that was Ania’s way of considering my feelings. Since I was exuding a stern atmosphere, she might’ve been trying to break the ice.

“My Lady.”

When I called Ania with my eyes closed, there was a clattering sound.
A fork had fallen from Ania’s hand and clanged on the floor.

“I’ll prepare another one.”
“Uh… okay.”

Looking somewhat flustered, Ania took out a handkerchief, wiped her mouth, nodded, and said, “Yes, My Lord.”
“My Lady, is there something you like?”

As if not expecting my question, Ania’s hand, wiping her mouth, suddenly stopped.

Then she smiled brightly.

“Of course.”
“Um… do you have any favorite items or hobbies?”
“Hobbies…”

After contemplating for a while, Ania softly laughed.

“I like gardening.”

Speaking of gardening, I know a nice place.

“Well then, how about visiting the arboretum in Sudo tomorrow?”
“Are you asking me out on a date?”
“It’s not like that…”
“Then?”
“It’s because we got married without knowing what each other likes.”
“Hehe…”

A blush appeared on Ania’s cheeks as she sat on the opposite side and walked over to sit beside me, looking up at me.

“Thank you.”
“For what…”
“For being curious about what I like.”

Ania suddenly picked up a fork and brought food to my mouth.

Since there was no need to feel embarrassed for no reason, I casually accepted it.

“Hmm…”
“What is it?”
“I like gardening… but not as much as I like you, My Lord.”
“That’s a really nice thing to say.”
“…It’s true.”
“That’s why I appreciate it.”

Ania furrowed her brows and puffed her cheeks, then burst into laughter.
Seeing her like that, I couldn’t help but laugh, too.

“You must be talented at alchemy with how you turned nothing into gold, Edward.”

Suddenly, we heard someone’s voice. Startled, we turned our heads.

“Your Highness?”
“Eldrigan?”

The voice we heard clearly belonged to the Crown Prince, but he wasn’t there.
Instead, a servant was holding something.

“A phone?”

It was a device resembling an old-fashioned gramophone in the servant’s hand.

Eldrigan exclaimed with surprise in his voice.

“Oh! Edward, have you already heard about this device? You truly are a man well-versed in worldly affairs.”

I wasn’t really well-versed in worldly affairs, but I could see how it might appear that way.

After all, phones were just starting to be invented and were beginning to be known to some intellectuals and businessmen.

“I heard about it by chance.”
“Ah, I see. I was hoping to surprise you with this as a gift. What a pity.”

Eldrigan let out a disappointed laugh.

“But anyway… that’s not the important matter. Edward, I have something important to tell you.”
“To me?”
“Yes, to you. I heard you arrested a woman named Yuren, who was transferred to the capital prison this time. She’s a wanted criminal who has been evading us for some time, so it must have been quite challenging for you.”
“It was nothing.”
“You may think so, but I don’t. Come to the capital tomorrow if you can. And if possible, bring Ania along. I’ll treat you both lavishly.”

Eldrigan said this and then hung up the phone jovially.

I looked at Ania with a somewhat awkward smile.

“What should we do?”

Ania smiled back without any sign of confusion.

“Let’s go. As long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter where we go, My Lord.”

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