If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
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Chapter 48 Table of contents

The funeral of the Emperor was extravagant.

Along the darkened main street of the Capital, people dressed in black were lined up, and on a limousine made by the Edward Company, a splendidly embroidered crown and the Emperor’s portrait were placed.

Amid that funeral, where some encountered unparalleled sorrow, and others saw a golden opportunity, Ania bowed her head, lost in other thoughts.

The face of the man who rudely left her at Aria’s coronation celebration flashed before her eyes.

Her stumbling around like a beast.
Edward’s figure walking away coldly despite her plea not to leave.
Her father deceiving her and ruining her relationship with Edward.

Swallowing the growing gloom in her heart as she turned back, Ania quietly watched the funeral procession.

She thought about death.

She had never feared death, not once in her life.

Although she had been weak since childhood, her illnesses were never fatal.

She simply knew that one day, like everyone else, she would die.

She had never considered the pain of dying.

But at the Emperor’s funeral, Ania imagined the pain of death.

His portrait smiled brightly.

Would the Emperor, who had already left this world for the realm of the gods, be smiling like that?

If so, wouldn’t he be in pain?

However, Ania knew that the moment of death was painful.

Still, she thought the pain wouldn’t be as intense as it was now…
She wholly believed this.

For two years, she had longed to meet Edward so much.

She endured any humiliation.

Because she believed.
Because Edward said he would come back.

Even though he didn’t reply to the letters she sent,
Still, she believed he would come back.

Although meeting him had been delayed too much because of her father,
Ania thought Edward’s feelings wouldn’t change.

Because he said he would come back someday.
Because she said she would wait for him.

However, the long wait had changed everything.

Edward harbored not just love, but also a deep hatred towards her.
She had momentarily mistaken, but it was a bit more rough and ambivalent than love.

Ania tried to turn that sharp emotion into love.
Several marriages and unanswered letters were how she voiced her unwillingness to be married to anyone but Edward.
However, even Edward laughed at the unreceived letters.
So, he couldn’t believe that the forced marriage was not her will.

How could she make him believe in her heart?
Could she change his hatred into the emotion called love?
She thought, but the answer remained the same.

She had to abandon Bronte.
Only by letting go of the greatest thing she had been granted would Edward believe.

It was frightening.
It wasn’t easy to let go of everything she had.

But Edward leaving forever was even more frightening to Ania.
It was like death.

“Miss.”

Lost in deep contemplation, Ania returned to reality at the sound of the steward calling her.

“His Highness the Crown Prince wants to see you.”
“Alright.”

Ania followed the steward.

She didn’t particularly want to see Eldrigan’s face, but she could offer a word of comfort to him, who had lost his father.

Not as a daughter of the Bronte family but as Ania Bronte.

She would abandon it all.
She would abandon Bronte, her everything, and leave to find Edward, the man she loved.

And she would tell him.
Now that she had abandoned everything, she would ask him to trust her.
To love her…..

***

I had thought people were gathering already, but it wasn’t until I saw the limousine with the Emperor’s portrait slowly passing by and disappearing that I realized how late I was.

“I guess I was late.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t plan for the foot traffic…”
“It’s not a problem.”
“But it’s the Emperor’s funeral…”
“It doesn’t matter.”

He was just a puppet anyway.

It had been a long time since the Imperial family lost their trust and authority due to the tyranny of his final years.

There were rumors that some imperialist noble families occasionally had contact with anti-imperialist noble families.

If even the nobles turned their backs, wouldn’t the commoners do the same?

The imperial citizens, suffering from increased taxes, had already turned their backs on the imperial family.

They now relied on the corporations and conglomerates that made their lives prosperous.

Could that foolish Eldrigan change this current status quo?
No matter how much I thought about it, it seemed impossible.

The Empire now desired the downfall of the imperial family.
Both businessmen and nobles alike.

Soon, the Empire would crumble, and a republic would be established.
The imperial citizens would rise, demanding suffrage, and the anti-imperialist noble families would side with them, seeking power.

“……”

The Bronte family came to mind.
The distant lineage of the imperial family.
What would happen to Ania if the imperial family collapsed and the Bronte family fell?

“What’s that got to do with me….”
“Pardon?”
“It’s nothing.”

My head throbbed again, causing pain.

Eldrigan.

Was it the stress of going to meet that damn writer, or was it the constant thoughts of that woman that were causing my head to ache so much?

Suddenly, the car stopped in a crowded street.
Since the car couldn’t pass through, I got out and walked through the crowd.
All eyes were on me.

Among them were people who looked like newly emerging entrepreneurs; some I knew the names and faces of, but most I didn’t.

Eldrigan Lionheart.

Even though my stomach twisted just facing him, he wasn’t a bad person to the extent of saying harsh words and ignoring a person who just lost his father.

So, I could at least offer him words of comfort for today.
After all, he would soon be driven away by the angry crowds and become a scarecrow.

Thinking that made me laugh.
But it wasn’t appropriate to laugh at a funeral, so I held it in and walked on.

Eldrigan was visible in the distance.
His face, in black mourning clothes, looked haggard, with dark circles under his eyes from days of sleeplessness.

He had been quite handsome a few years ago, but now his face seemed to have aged considerably.

Of course, it had nothing to do with me.
He was a scoundrel who deceived me to further his own agenda, and he deserved his punishment.

However, the fleeting joy soon turned cold.
As the people surrounding Eldrigan gradually dispersed, I noticed someone with a small stature standing beside him.

Though it was just their back, how could I forget that radiant golden hair?

I closed my eyes slightly and took a deep breath.

I don’t know her

Even though I had been so insulted and she probably wouldn’t approach me again, I decided to act as if I didn’t know her either.

But my heart began to beat faster.

My heart and body were not in sync.
My eyes and feet were already moving away from Eldrigan,
But amidst the crowd, I approached the blonde hair gleaming like a flickering street lamp.

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of her.

As I looked down at the woman who had to tilt her head up to see me, she raised her head and met my gaze with wide eyes.

“……”
“……”

A moment of silence ensued.
While people flowed around her and me, our time seemed to freeze yet again.

Why am I standing in front of this woman?
Was there something I hoped for?
Was there even a tiny lingering feeling left?
Why?

She’s a woman who toys with countless men’s hearts.
I know that’s a trap,
I know it’s poison.

Yet I find myself hoping.

With her in front of me, even the splitting headache subsides.
My restless heart slowly settled.
The rainy weather at the funeral slowly grew brighter with the receding clouds,
And the Capital’s crowded streets turned into a scene from a movie.

Is it love?
No, it’s not love.

When Ania Bronte comes to mind, my heart feels ready to collapse.
It’s clearly hatred.
But why does my gaze follow and my steps pursue her even though I hate her?

I felt powerless in the face of this inexplicable phenomenon.
I thought it was a simple desire, but upon closer reflection, it wasn’t.

“Hello.”

A clear and innocent voice pierced through my thoughts.

“……”

I thought about ignoring her and passing by like she had done the past two years.
Yet why do I greet her with a genuine smile?

“Why exactly.”

I hate you,
So why do I calmly overlook even that hatred?

Am I even a kind of person?
Can I overlook the hatred directed towards you?

Or maybe…

Do you also love me?
But if you do, why were you so cruel to me?

Why did you repeatedly get engaged to and break up with other men?

Why don’t you hate me?

Please answer me.
Ania Bronte.

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