If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
Chapter 57 Table of contents

Three hours had passed since leaving the mansion.

As I sorted through the documents that needed to be processed quickly, we arrived at the Saunder Estate.

The Saunder Estate was located north of the Capital, not far from the border with the Northern Kingdom.
I remembered the winter view of snow-covered mountains being beautiful, but in spring, beyond the fields where green grass stretched out, the colorful flowers blooming endlessly were incredibly beautiful.

I had been here not long ago, but it was undeniably a majestic and magnificent landscape.
It felt like a watercolor painting in itself, and entering the vast garden gave a sense of grandeur.

The garden… Ania would love this scenery.
She really loved flowers.

Someday, I’ll bring Ania to visit the Saunder Estate.
Just picturing Ania’s delighted face made my tired mind clear as I read through the documents.

She truly is an intriguing woman.

Just thinking about her fills my heart with excitement.
No matter what I do, she always finds her way into my head.

***

“We’ll guide you.”

Upon arriving at the mansion’s entrance within the estate, the servants who had been waiting guided us.

At the back of the mansion, a garden with blooming flowers was visible. In the center of it all, that man was sitting at the table.

“Oh! Edward, come on in.”

It was Baron Saunder

He had the characteristic stature of a knight but a kind and approachable demeanor that didn’t quite match.

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

The Saunder family had been close with the Radners for a long time.

The Saunder Estate was established to prevent invasions from the Northern Kingdoms, and as a result, they had raised excellent knights.

There was no reason for animosity between the fundamental knightly families, such as the Radners

Moreover, he was best friends with William Radner. So, he was more or less like an uncle of mine.

“It’s been a while, Baron Saunder.”

I approached him and bowed slowly.

“Hahaha! Edward, you still have that tired face.”
“Well, I’ve been quite busy.”
“Being busy is good. It’s definitely better than whatever I’m doing.”
“Are you still not feeling well?”
“It’s not my body but my mind that’s getting old.”

Saunder chuckled, his mustache twitching.

“I heard rumors that you were injured.”
“Yes, in the head.”
“What happened?”
“There was a small incident.”
“Is it related to Lady Bronte leaving her family?”

I looked at him silently. Despite his old age, he was a sharp man.

“Yes… somewhat.”

Since it wasn’t something to hide from him, I answered willingly.

Saunder chuckled softly.

“Even lover’s quarrels should be done in moderation.”
“…We don’t do that anymore.”
“Seems like you’ve reconciled.”
“To some extent.”
“That’s good.”

He turned his head and looked at the garden.
Butterflies were gracefully flying over the various blossoming flowers.

As he raised his hand, a butterfly gently landed on his palm.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Being with these creatures that can’t communicate in words somehow eases the heart.”

Another butterfly landed lightly on the Baron’s wrist.

The thick, scarred hand seemed strangely unfitting for the delicate butterfly.

“When I was young, I didn’t appreciate the beauty of such things. My mind was absorbed in swinging a sword and training my body. Quite foolish, don’t you think?”
“Training is important as well.”
“Of course, I don’t regret it. It’s just that the reckless appearance of my youth is embarrassing.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t.”
“Thank you for saying that.”

The butterfly at his palm fluttered away.

Without hesitation, Baron Saunder lowered his hand and sipped his tea.

“Edward, you have changed a lot too.”
“It’s been over a year since we last met.”

When did I start to change?
It must have been around the time when I established the company.

Back then, I threw myself into my work to forget the wounds of betrayal.
The original goal of rebuilding the Radner family had long been shattered, and I seemed to struggle every day just to escape the nightmares haunting me.

The accumulating stress had completely transformed my personality, and the unresolved bitterness was drowned out with cigarettes.

And so, a year passed, and I found myself in this state.

“People tend to change after experiencing significant events.”
“You’re right about that.”
“But seeing your face today, you’ve changed again.”
“Are we still talking about me?”

The thick and massive hand of Baron Saunder gently brushed my hair.

“You looked like a dead man every time we met…I didn’t think I’d see you smile again. Seems like that child meant a lot to you.”
“Was I… smiling?”
“You didn’t even realize it yourself. Haha, I always knew you were an honest man.”

He chuckled.

“Well, that’s good. If you value something, you should treat it well. Maybe buy a gift on your way back. How about some flowers from this garden? There’s hardly a woman in the world who dislikes flowers.”

I couldn’t help but smirk at the self-proclaimed love expert’s words about women not disliking flowers.

“Unfortunately, I won’t return to the mansion for another week.”
“Well then, even if it’s not flowers from this garden, get a bouquet.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”

After finishing our tea, we rose from our seats. It was time to discuss business.

***

It had already been a day since Edward left the estate.

Yet life at the Radner Estate continued its routine as if nothing had changed.

It wasn’t really surprising.

Ever since Edward became Viscount Radner, there had rarely been a time when he had properly set foot on the estate.

In fact, he had spent more time wandering around the continent than actually being at the mansion.

But for Ania, it already felt like an eternity.

“Having lived apart for two years…”

It was truly strange.

The two years she spent with other men zipped by, but the day apart from Edward felt unbearably slow.

But perhaps now was better than the endless waiting before, Ania pondered.

At least if she waited, he would come back. And in a week’s time, she would greet him with a happy expression.

However, for Ania, sitting idly in the estate and killing time was boring.

She decided to learn a bit about the estate’s affairs.

Having left the Bronte family, she was no longer a noblewoman.

If she wanted to help Edward, she needed to know how to do something.
To be able to stay by his side without feeling ashamed.

“My Lady! This is unacceptable! You’re helping with menial tasks?”

However, when Ania expressed her desire to help with the mansion’s work, the servants were taken aback and waved their hands in refusal.

“I’m just doing it because I want to. And besides, I’m not a ‘Lady’ anymore.”
“Even so, how can we…?”

However, even the servants couldn’t resist Ania’s persistence.

Eventually, Ania started learning tasks under the maid supervisor.

“You clean like this, and for laundry and dishwashing… Our hands are already sore, so we’ll handle those.”
“Please teach me.”

However, it wasn’t an easy task for her. Ania had lived her whole life as a noblewoman.

After breaking ten dishes and ruining two outfits in just two days, the servants finally mustered the courage to speak up.

“My Lady, wouldn’t it be better for you to try managing the garden?”
“The garden?”
“Yes. The Viscount really cherishes the garden. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it if you take care of it!”

So, Ania started managing the garden with the gardener.

Although the servants felt somewhat sorry for entrusting the clumsy Ania to the gardener, they couldn’t help but be amazed by her skills.

“It’s better to move these flowers to a sunnier spot. They grow slower when in the shade.”
“It’s good to trim the leaves of this plant often. If there are too many leaves, it dies quickly.”

The gardener couldn’t hide his astonishment at Ania’s profound knowledge.

And so, six days passed.

On the day before Edward’s return to the mansion, Ania, as usual, took care of the garden.

Watering the flowers, tidying up the dead leaves, and trimming the paths in the garden soon transformed it into a splendid sight.

Ania wiped away the sweat with a towel and silently gazed at the garden.

“I wonder if Edward will like it.”

As she finished her work and sat in the garden, sipping her tea, Ania pondered.

She had always enjoyed managing a garden, but whether Edward would like it or not was uncertain.

“Looking back, I don’t even know what he likes.”

She loved gardens and flowers herself. Edward had also seemed delighted when they visited the imperial capital’s arboretum, but it wasn’t necessarily because he loved flowers.

Ania still didn’t know Edward well.

Despite observing him closely, she didn’t know what he truly desired.

Suddenly feeling embarrassed, Ania blushed faintly.

When she mentioned this, the elderly gardener chuckled and said,

“Then why not prepare a gift for the Viscount?”
“A gift?”
“Yes. The Lord will be pleasantly surprised by something unexpected.”

Edward being pleasantly surprised…
Ania had rarely seen him express emotions, let alone being surprised.

Thinking about it made her miss him.

She wanted to know everything about Edward that she didn’t already know.

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