The alpha’s rush to return home quickly raised a hazy dust on the road. Though the still cold and chilly wind brushed the master’s face due to the fast-running horse, Reynard paid no heed. Neither the high and beautiful buildings with long traditions, nor the splendid sights of the capital, nor the busy passing citizens could capture Reynard’s gaze. They just passed by and disappeared indifferently.

As soon as he arrived at Lution House, Reynard habitually left the horse with a servant and asked the butler about his husband’s whereabouts. Powell, whose hand was rejected when trying to receive the master’s hat, pointed to a path leading to the deep garden as always.

At that wordless gesture, Reynard immediately turned his steps there. He went out again without setting foot inside the mansion lobby after returning home. It was to find his beloved.

It had become a daily routine now.

Work and early return. And then entering the garden to find Valentin.

Step, step.

Reynard now walked familiarly through the depths of the small forest where fresh, light leaves and buds were sprouting.

Originally, there was no proper path. However, knowing that Valentin frequently visited there after recovering, Reynard ignored the butler’s rational suggestion to do construction after spring came and dug up the frozen winter ground. Then he laid a very flat and beautiful stone path. It was to allow his beloved to come and go easily and comfortably.

As spring was slowly approaching, weeds or green dandelion sprouts were breaking through between the neat granite stones to greet the sun.

Seeing them struggling to survive, finally receiving sunlight through narrow gaps, Reynard felt something welling up in his chest. Even these insignificant beings were striving so hard to continue their lives…

He forcefully suppressed the indescribable tenderness, anger, and sorrow that threatened to rise as the memory of that time came to mind.

The sight of the new, delicate life naturally reminded him of the baby.

The pitiful life that had been the fruit of their passion, that had been so beautiful.

Reynard tightly closed his eyes, unable to bear the memory of that day trying to surface.

It was piercing.

Spring had come, but his eyes were so cold.

Through his tightly shut eyes, the scene from the palace’s birthing room that day flashed by.

And the screams pressed down by pain and the commotion rang in his ears. A noise resembling chaos and misery.

*

“The baby is out!”

The young palace physician shouted.

It was a cry barely heard at the end of pitiful Valentin screaming, unable to endure the labor pains in his dazed state. The sound from the body drained of all strength, the doctor’s urgent voice, and the baby’s faint, delicate cry mixed chaotically.

Reynard, who had been focused on gently covering Valentin with pheromones for his husband suffering from labor pains, stood up. The midwife was receiving the baby from the doctor and skillfully wiping the infant covered in blood and amniotic fluid with careful hands. But the sight was too small and the movements too little.

“…A beautiful… beautiful daughter.”

The elderly midwife announced in a trembling voice.

Reynard approached her as if entranced.

Although he had only walked two or three steps to where the baby was, it felt like his feet were wandering in darkness, as if falling into a deep pit. Barely moving his feet as if they were buried in a dark, bottomless swamp, he received the baby from the midwife.

“…!”

At that moment, a tearless sob burst from the huge body.

Reynard, not knowing what to do with the intense emotion welling up, carefully examined the baby.

The baby, wrinkled from the amniotic fluid, with red skin that looked like thin skin clinging to bones like scales…

Their love, the proof of that love, was so small.

The baby, born after only 7 months in its father’s womb, fit entirely in Reynard’s large hand without overflowing. How could a person be this small, even though just born… Reynard gazed at the child quietly, feeling like he might go mad.

A very small and pitiful child, not even exceeding the father’s two palms.

Their poor daughter.

“…Little one…”

Barely swallowing the lump in his throat, he gave his first greeting.

“Little one… Daughter…”

It was the first time calling her. He had never spoken affectionately to the being inside while stroking Valentin’s belly, feeling shy and embarrassed.

There had been times when he resented the child, seeing Valentin wasting away. But as if forgetting when that was, Reynard fell in love as soon as he saw his small daughter born.

You. You’ve finally been born.

You are the fruit of his and my love. You will be the proof of our love and love itself. Your dads will protect you. We’ll cherish you with everything we have.

Reynard whispered thus by the ear of the baby wrapped in white cloth.

The daughter, with black hair resembling Reynard and still covered in whitish vernix, cried very faintly a few times and then couldn’t make any more sound. Her closed eyes were too weak to even scrunch up more.

Seeing that pitiful sight, he stretched out his finger to touch the baby’s too-small hand. The child reflexively gripped her father’s index finger with very weak strength. At that moment, Reynard felt emotion welling up like a dam bursting. It felt like tears would flow if he let his guard down for a moment. This feeling. That he could be a person to feel all these emotional things. Valentin had accomplished all this. His husband was the one who loved him and taught him emotions.

Meanwhile, the doctor who was just finishing the delivery by receiving the placenta from Valentin shouted again to his assistants.

“The bleeding won’t stop! Bring more gauze!”

A fear like his heart might stop.

At that urgent voice, Reynard startled and quickly handed the baby girl back to the midwife’s arms and rushed to Valentin’s side.

And then a hellish time continued.

He kept pressing the young palace physician, said to be the most skilled in Eldon currently. But when the doctor couldn’t concentrate on treatment out of fear after being threatened that he wouldn’t be left alone if he couldn’t save Valentin, Reynard tightly closed his mouth and stopped.

The next was all a time of prayer.

For the first time in his life, he inwardly repeated desperate cries to the Heavenly Father. A simple, primal prayer asking for this terrible time not to become more terrible, please save his love. It was close to a desperate wish wrapped in resentment.

Never having prayed in his life, not knowing what words to use for that simple wish, he just mumbled and repeated the same words again, and again, and just repeated again… Holding his husband’s hand that had lost blood and turned pale white, he only begged.

When the doctor said that Valentin’s bleeding had finally stopped and it seemed okay to be relieved now, Reynard could finally breathe. Only then did his heart seem to beat properly.

How much time passed in that confusion? When Valentin, moved to clean bedding after finishing medical treatment, barely opened his eyes, the midwife holding the small baby approached their side. Reynard carefully held that precious life wrapped in white swaddling clothes and brought it close so his husband, exhausted from labor, could see.

Valentin smiled faintly, knowing the baby was placed beside him despite being drained and weary.

“Baby…”

“Yes. It’s a daughter, Valentin. You did so well.”

“…She’s so small…”

The tired, weak voice kept exclaiming in wonder.

Valentin, struggling to keep his eyes open despite fatigue trying to close them, kissed the baby’s oily, downy soft hair. It was the first kiss given by the father who bore the child to his daughter.

“…But she’s so pretty. She looks like you…”

He expressed thus about features that were still wrinkled and couldn’t be properly discerned. Just because of the black hair like Reynard’s.

“…You really did well. You worked hard, my love.”

Reynard said thus, watching his husband’s eyes closing hazily.

Beside Valentin, slipping back into some boundary between sleep and fainting, the baby made a very faint, weak sound. It was like a vague whisper without strength.

And that was the last.

It was the daughter’s last sound and cry.

The small, delicate baby girl never moved again, as if she had given all her strength and life to her father who seemed to be losing consciousness hazily.

The baby’s soul and body, which faded for reasons unknown, ascended to heaven just like that, in their small, pitiful primordial form.

To go so futilely. The small being born of his blood vanished like smoke without leaving even one footprint in the world. Holding his daughter who could no longer move and was only growing colder in his arms, Reynard cried out in utter grief beside Valentin who had fainted again.

It was a silent lamentation, as if his breath was catching, unable to make a loud sound lest his beloved be startled.

Hot streams flowing from his eyes wet the remains of his daughter, who had now become an angel and flown away.

*

Reynard tightly closed his eyes, as if it were some act of hiding the pain that had passed again deep in his heart. And he hid it again in that bottomless depth where no light enters.

Even as he strode endlessly towards where his beloved was, he unconsciously took care not to step on the delicate dandelion sprouts with his booted feet. It was close to an unconscious action to avoid trampling fragile life.

White birch trees with peeling bark began to enter his eyes fixed straight ahead. As always, his vision was filled with his beloved standing between the trees.

“Valentin.”

His dry throat, which had been tightly constricted due to the sudden surge of emotion, barely made a sound.

It was a name that was lovely, missed, and good whenever called. Even though they may have settled at some quiet point after passing through the midst of grief.

The one who had been endlessly gazing at the mound covered thickly with small violets turned his head. And he smiled faintly towards Reynard who had called him. Perhaps the image from that time overlapped with the smile like mist that they had barely found after passing through painful times. A bitter afterimage flashed before Reynard’s eyes.

“It can’t be…! I clearly heard the baby’s cry! I held her in my arms!”

Valentin, who woke up after four days, cried out with his aching body, unable to believe the empty place of the child. And seeing Reynard’s face fallen into misery, he cried endlessly as if about to faint again.

It was the moment a person collapses in despair.