There's a common misconception about Western family life.

People think that once you're married, you don’t have to worry much about your in-laws or extended family.

That’s only partly true.

If the family is poor, Westerners do get a lot more freedom in their marriages compared to us. But if they’re wealthy and socially prominent, then they have to endure the same traditional obligations we do, especially around holidays, when in-laws can be as demanding as any strict old family back home.

For example, there’s this lovely tradition during Thanksgiving where daughters-in-law show up three days early to start cooking. …