NoveLight ™
I returned home with the doctor.
Since he said he’d bought food, I was expecting a nice meal.
But the doctor had laced the food with drugs.
I noticed it while eating, but there wasn’t much I could do.
I was hungry.
“There’s an academy graduation ceremony in four days. You could call it a promotion ceremony for Han Si-Hoo. It’s the perfect time to make your move on the academy.”
The doctor spoke after we finished eating.
“Is that so?”
“Are you feeling more motivated now?”
“Yeah... What was in that food? I feel weird.”
There was sauce on the meat, and I’m sure that’s where he slipped something in.
It tasted unusual.
“It’s a drug that amplifies certain emotions. I had an awakened person who specializes in that kind of thing make it for me.”
Emotional amplification.
That explains it.
All sorts of emotions that had been buried deep were swirling inside me.
Inferiority, fear, the desire for revenge, pain, emptiness, and more.
Yet, strangely, the desire to die wasn’t one of them.
Even with the effects of the drugs, I could feel all these emotions.
“Why would you give me something like that?”
“The drugs you normally take dull your emotions.”
“So why this?”
“I thought it might motivate you more if you could feel your emotions more vividly.”
Motivation?
I could certainly feel a range of emotions.
It wasn’t the same as when the drugs wore off.
I didn’t feel like dying.
If anything, I felt like killing someone.
“I’m starting to feel this... urge to kill.”
“That’s normal. This drug was originally used illegally by military organizations.”
“Aha...?”
So he gave me something like that?
For motivation?
I wasn’t sure what kind of motivation he was aiming for, but it had been a while since I’d experienced such a variety of emotions.
“Now, why don’t you think about that academy boy again? How do you feel? Do you want revenge?”
“Yeah, I want to get back at him.”
“Good. Now, why don’t you check if there’s a bruise on your abdomen?”
Ah, from where I was punched earlier?
I lifted my shirt to take a look.
“Ah, I’m bruised...”
A dark bruise had formed on my stomach.
I guess it’s lucky my bones didn’t break.
It hurt just to move, but thanks to the meds, the pain wasn’t too bad.
“If you think that bruise is bad, how do you feel about that boy now?”
“Uh... I want to kill him.”
“As you should.”
I wanted to kill him.
Even though getting bruised like that didn’t warrant killing someone,
I felt an unnatural surge of anger.
Something was forcibly stimulating my brain.
“Ugh...”
I felt both good and bad.
Pleasure and discomfort mixed together, making my head feel like it was burning.
“So, do you feel ready to kill Han Si-Hoo now?”
“...Si-Hoo?”
That question again?
It wasn’t just a casual question anymore.
It felt different from the time he asked me in the middle of the night.
Sure, my thought process might be a bit off right now because of the drugs, but...
“I asked you before, but this time I’m offering even better terms.”
“Better terms?”
“I’ll ensure you have access to the drugs anytime, anywhere. I’ll also provide food, shelter, and clothing. Of course, this is all contingent on you killing Han Si-Hoo.”
Drugs, food, and shelter...
That was certainly a more attractive offer.
“But...”
I still wasn’t sure if he meant he would give me these things after I killed Han Si-Hoo or while I was trying to kill him.
“It seems you’re still undecided, so let me help you a bit.”
“No, wait—”
“Do you remember what you said to Han Si-Hoo before? When you drove him away?”
“...”
I was about to ask a question, but he didn’t give me the chance.
Alright, what did Yoo Seo-Ah say to Han Si-Hoo back then?
I filtered out the stream of insults.
‘You’re enjoying yourself now that you’ve escaped to the academy, aren’t you?’
‘Why do you keep coming around just to mock me?’
‘I probably would’ve lived a better life if it weren’t for you.’
‘Must be nice to be an awakened, rising through the ranks on your own.’
‘I don’t need your help.’
‘Just get lost. Don’t ever show your face in front of me again.’
...
That’s quite a bit.
Look at how hard Yoo Seo-Ah worked to push him away.
What was the point of doing all that?
“I feel like crying.”
Yoo Seo-Ah’s emotions resurfaced.
Tears welled up in my eyes.
Regret and sadness were intertwined.
Along with a bit of inferiority and anger.
After saying all that, I still went crawling back to him for money.
I really had some nerve.
Now I truly understood just how much the drugs dulled my emotions.
“Now think about how Han Si-Hoo treated you.”
How did the protagonist treat me?
Let’s see...
I remembered the conversation we had when I went to see him at the academy.
I had walked for three hours just to hear that...
The more I thought about it, the angrier I got.
Why is the protagonist always so happy?
Why did I end up as someone like Yoo Seo-Ah, suffering so much?
Some people struggle through life and gain nothing, while others get everything handed to them easily.
The world was always unfair.
I might as well direct all my rage at the protagonist.
He’s benefiting from all the inequality.
Han Si-Hoo can do anything because he’s the protagonist.
I should be the protagonist of my own life, but no, it’s Han Si-Hoo.
Couldn’t they have at least given me a better role if I couldn’t be the protagonist?
Why did I have to be the drug-addicted childhood friend...
Drug-addicted?
No, no, that’s not right.
There’s no way I’d end up like that.
I always take my meds in proper doses.
Besides, these aren’t drugs; they’re just medicine.
In any case, all these problems exist because the protagonist exists.
It’s all for the sake of Han Si-Hoo’s tragic backstory.
If Han Si-Hoo didn’t exist, Yoo Seo-Ah wouldn’t be in this mess.
Really.
The reason Yoo Seo-Ah started taking these meds in the first place was because of the protagonist.
Han Si-Hoo didn’t know, of course.
“Now that I think about it, this is all Han Si-Hoo’s fault.”
That’s right. It’s all the protagonist’s fault.
Why?
Because... it just is.
“Do you want to kill him now?”
“Yes.”
“Good. That’s what I like to hear. Clear motivation. I wouldn’t want to make you fight without a purpose.”
“Fight?”
“I told you, even a regular person can become an awakened with the right drugs. All it takes is a little bit of medicine.”
“So I’ll take the drugs and fight Han Si-Hoo?”
“Not exactly. You just need to meet with him and have a little chat. It’s not really a fight.”
Have a chat?
Didn’t he say I should kill him?
I recalled the scene from the novel where Yoo Seo-Ah and Han Si-Hoo met again.
Yoo Seo-Ah had tried to attack Han Si-Hoo with her weakened body.
But it wasn’t really a fight; it felt more like one-sided leniency from him.
But this is different from the novel.
I’m not like the sickly Yoo Seo-Ah from the story.
I’ve never overdosed on meds.
My body isn’t in bad shape.
I’m not even in pain right now, so I’m definitely in better condition than she was.
Even if I was angry, I wouldn’t charge at Han Si-Hoo like a maniac.
There’s no need to worry, right?
“Anyway, as I mentioned, the academy’s graduation ceremony is in four days... I’ll give you the awakening drugs then. And don’t worry, you’ve already taken all the other meds you’ll need for now during our meal.”
“Alright.”
Honestly, I wanted to go see Han Si-Hoo right now.
I wanted to spill out all the emotions boiling up inside me.
This emotional amplification drug is really something else.
“Oh, and this. I brought more of the medication you usually take since you’re running low.”
The doctor pulled out a bottle filled with blue liquid from his bag.
“A new batch of meds.”
[37 minutes]
I glanced at the time.
It was about time for my next dose.
“...New meds?”
“Yes. Considering you might’ve suffered internal injuries from that punch earlier, this will help speed up your recovery. It will also increase your long-term recovery rate, which will be useful for what’s to come.”
“I see.”
“These new meds are a bit more addictive than the ones you’ve been using, but I trust you’ll manage. The dosage is the same as before.”
“So, how much do these cost…”
“No need to worry about that. You’ve already agreed to kill Han Si-Hoo. That’s more than enough.”
“Wow…”
Free meds for life!
But even if I tried my hardest, there’s no way I could kill the protagonist, right?
Even if I got angry enough to fight him, I wouldn’t really go through with it.
And even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to defeat him.
I’ve never hated anyone enough to want to sacrifice my life for revenge.
I don’t think I ever will.
Right?
I shouldn’t.
Life is precious, after all.
“I’ll leave the food here. You can eat it when you’re hungry. I’ll come back to pick you up later. In the meantime, it would be best if you stayed home. I don’t want to find you collapsed in the street again.”
“Yes, thank you. Goodbye.”
I gave the doctor a small bow as he left the house.
It felt like I didn’t need to be that polite, but for some reason, I had no ill will toward him.
Even though he was a shady guy who fed me strange drugs, I couldn’t bring myself to dislike him.
[17 minutes]
“Ah, time’s almost up.”
I snapped out of my daze.
I’ve been spacing out a lot lately. It seems to have become a habit.
I reached for the new meds.
The blue liquid sloshed inside the bottle.
It felt a bit more intimidating since the liquid had color this time.
I measured out the right dose and filled the syringe.
What did he mean by "more addictive"?
I guess I’ll just have to find out.
I adjusted the syringe and stuck the needle in my arm.
“Ugh…”
That familiar unpleasant sensation of the injection crept up.
[6 hours 32 minutes]
The remaining time increased, but it was less than before.
It used to give me 8 hours; now it’s just 6.
Maybe the drug's additional features reduced the time.
“Hmm…”
I started to feel better.
If the old meds made me feel like I was lying on a bed, this felt like I was soaking in a hot spring.
There’s nothing more enjoyable than this.
I was completely satisfied.
The only downside was that it only lasted for about 6 hours.
“But… is this really supposed to heal me?”
I poked at the bruise on my stomach.
It didn’t hurt anymore, probably because of the meds, but it’s hard to tell if it’s actually healing.
I’ll just have to trust it will get better.
Hmm. I suddenly feel the urge to find that academy student… Ethan, right?
I want to find him and kill him.
Ah, my emotions are getting too intense.
I need to be careful.
I can’t afford to recklessly charge at the protagonist and get myself killed.
Sure, this is all Han Si-Hoo’s fault.
It’s the protagonist’s fault.
But even though Han Si-Hoo is to blame, I don’t see him as a lifelong enemy I need to eliminate.
Wouldn’t it be better if we could all just get along?
With those thoughts, I zoned out again, staring blankly at the ceiling.
On the fourth day, I had to commend myself for not overdosing on the new meds.
The addiction was no joke.
I had to resist the urge to inject myself every hour.
But I endured.
As expected of me.
There’s no way I’d let myself get addicted to something as petty as drugs.