Today was one of the most hectic days of my life. Between negotiating with the Ruth Kingdom, meeting Viktor, and all the events that unfolded after our return, hardly anything went as planned. It felt like I was constantly being dragged around without much control over the situation.

Especially when I came face-to-face with the soldiers standing outside the tent, armed and waiting. Though their hostility wasn't directed at me, I was terrified. Despite invoking my family's name in desperation, they showed no signs of backing down, leaving me feeling utterly powerless.

And yet, Viktor stood tall and composed in front of them.

I don't even want to imagine what would have happened if General Paul hadn’t intervened.

Even now, the shock hasn't worn off. I had no appetite during dinner, and after pushing my stew around, I finally set the spoon down. Though night had come and it was time to sleep, I couldn’t bring myself to relax.

Being called the Emperor’s dog didn't bother me. When you work in this field, you get used to insults. What shook me was the realization that war, something I had always viewed as distant and abstract, was very real.

**"Viktor, Ivan, Georgi..."**  
**"How can we stand down with our enemy right in front of us!"**

I didn’t deserve to even speak about war.

Viktor’s stories from the carriage, the rage on the soldiers’ faces—all of it swirled in my mind, leaving me confused and emotional. I felt sadness, anger, and regret, but I didn’t even know why. I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling was even valid.

Just lying down with my eyes closed felt unbearable.

Meeting so many military figures—like General Gerhardt—and conversing with them had given me confidence in my role. I thought I understood war well enough to bring it up with Viktor. When I faced those soldiers, I tried to leverage my father's title to stand tall.

**"Sigh..."**

But I felt ashamed of myself, constantly recalling how Viktor responded differently. While I spoke of victories and outward achievements, he remembered the fallen first. Even when faced with the soldiers, he stood his ground, meeting their eyes without flinching.

The more I thought about it, the heavier my head felt. The field bed was much less comfortable than what I was used to, and no matter how many blankets I piled on, the tent remained cold. And the tension I felt from the soldiers had morphed into a lingering anxiety, making me check the tent entrance over and over, even though I knew no one was coming.

I felt stifled.

**"This isn't working..."**

I tossed the blankets aside and got out of bed. Paul and Viktor were already fast asleep, or at least still and motionless under their covers. Being careful not to disturb them, I quietly slipped out of the tent.

**"Sigh..."**

The camp outside was silent. There were no soldiers walking around, and very few lights were on. I had no particular destination in mind, so I sat down on a chair outside the tent. There was a small firepit made of loosely stacked stones, but I didn’t know how to light it and didn’t have any tools. So, I just sat there, staring blankly at the half-burned logs.

My mind was a tangled mess, and no matter how much I thought about it, nothing seemed to resolve itself.

If I had questions about work, I could ask my father. If I had trouble with relationships, Ella, the maid, always had wise advice. And if all else failed, I could look it up in a book. But right now, I didn’t even know what exactly I was wondering about. I couldn’t ask for help when I wasn’t sure what was wrong. And there was no one to ask anyway. Usually, a good night’s sleep would clear up most worries, but I couldn’t fall asleep in this state. The cold breeze certainly wasn’t helping, either.

Though it wasn’t my first time on an assignment, it felt like my very first trip all over again. I missed home.

As I sat there lost in thought, I suddenly heard footsteps approaching.

**"Eek?!"**

I screamed and jumped up, startled by the unexpected sound. But it was just Viktor, who had silently appeared beside me. He stood still, watching as I calmed down and sat back down.

Though his expression remained cold, something about the late hour made him seem a little softer than before, perhaps even a bit approachable.

**"When did you get here?"** I asked, once I regained my composure.

**"Not long ago,"** he replied, handing me a steaming cup.

**"...What is this?"**  
**"Just water,"** he said.

I felt foolish for even asking. Of course, it was only water—he was a prisoner after all, so it wasn’t like he’d have tea or anything fancy. I took the cup and sipped. Even though it was just warm water, it helped warm me up, making me feel a bit better.

**"Thank you."**

Viktor gave a small nod and walked over to sit on a nearby log. As I continued to sip the water, I glanced over at him. He had his eyes closed, his face expressionless, propping up his chin as if deep in thought.

Was he also troubled by something? I cautiously got up and moved to sit at the other end of his log.

**"Um, Viktor?"**  
**"Yes?"**

He turned to look at me immediately, as though he had been expecting me to speak. The gentle moonlight fell across his face, and for some reason, my heart began to race a little.

**"Ahem, ahem..."**

Seeing no sign of displeasure from him, I carefully chose my words.

**"May I ask what you were thinking about just now?"**  
**"Ah..."**

He let out a small sigh.

**"If you’d rather not—"**  
**"I was thinking about some past events,"** he interrupted before I could finish.

Past events? My curiosity was piqued.

**"...Would you share them with me?"**

Spurred by the strange, dreamy atmosphere of the early morning, I asked impulsively.

**"Alright."**

To my surprise, Viktor agreed easily.

---

Leadership.  
It was one of the things I focused on the most after becoming a soldier.

At the start of the Northern War, distrust in the commanders spread among the troops. After repeated defeats due to incompetent leaders, simply wearing a badge of rank wasn’t enough to earn the soldiers’ respect.

Noble-born commanders would suppress dissent by flaunting their status, but as an orphaned commoner, I had no such luxury. I had to put in the effort to gain their trust. Once the battle began, I could guide them using my tactical map, but if they ran away before the fighting even started, it was all meaningless.

**"Over the last two years, I’ve fought in many battles,"** I began.

I didn’t have the natural charisma that made soldiers follow orders blindly. I didn’t have the wealth to promise rewards or the authority to make an example of a few soldiers through punishment.

So, I tried to establish "servant leadership"—the kind of leadership where soldiers followed out of genuine loyalty. My goal was to become the kind of general they would call a "benevolent leader."

I slept alongside them, ate with them, fought alongside them, and shared in their suffering. I never forgot those who had fallen and treasured those who remained.

Even as my rank rose and the number of men under my command grew, even as I became famous and no longer needed to personally engage with them, I kept the word "consistency" firmly in my mind. To avoid revealing any hypocrisy, I knew I had to remain consistent.

**"Back then, I thought it was the best course of action. I was too busy trying to survive to think otherwise."**

Approaching Erika earlier had been part of that same philosophy. Paul was asleep, and it was the perfect time to have a conversation without it seeming out of place. I knew there was nothing to lose in getting on good terms with her.

If I knew Emperor Luise as well as I thought, she was probably already conducting a thorough investigation into my background. Eventually, the people of the Empire would find out how I treated my men in the Ruth Kingdom. If I didn’t treat the Imperial soldiers the same way, there would be gossip, and soon enough, people might start asking, "Wasn’t he just acting all along?"

Once someone voiced such a question, everything I’d built would collapse.

So, whether or not people were watching, I had to maintain my image.

**"As I rose in rank, I gained more room to breathe. And with that room, doubts started to creep in."**

I had to continue to play the role of the "benevolent general" and "Viktor, the hero of the Ruth Kingdom." It didn’t feel particularly difficult. I was simply acting according to my ideals, and thanks to my tactical map and knowledge from the game, cleaning up the aftermath of my decisions wasn’t hard.

**"Was that really the best I could do?"**

The only real challenge was suppressing the occasional urge. But that’s something everyone deals with, right?

**"When I have time to reflect, I often revisit the battles I fought. I wonder if I could have minimized the casualties further. If I could have led better."**

I paused, noticing how quiet Erika had become. Glancing over, I saw her looking at me with wide, attentive eyes. She had moved so close that her head would touch mine if I leaned forward.

**"Ah!"**

Before

 I could say anything, she quickly averted her gaze, clearly embarrassed.

Still, she didn’t seem bored.

I decided it was time to wrap things up.

**"I believe there’s value in remembering the events and thoughts from those times."**  
**"Then, just now..."**  
**"Yes, I was reflecting on the Battle of Serkutska."**  
**"I see..."**

Erika nodded, and then, as if making up her mind, downed the rest of her water and stood up.

**"Thank you, Viktor."**

With that, she quickly hurried back to the tent, almost as if fleeing.

It was hard to see her face in the dim moonlight, but it seemed like her expression had brightened a bit.

**"Was that a success?"**

If this conversation made her see me in a more positive light, then I’d call it a success.

Once she had fully disappeared into the tent, I closed my eyes and reopened the tactical map.