I feel strange.
Even knowing that this is a hallucination.
My vision spins.

At some point, I find myself blankly staring up at the sky.
It’s a gloomy sky.
Am I sitting on the concrete floor because my legs have given out?
I’m propped up with one hand on the ground.
My head tilts back slightly as I look up at the sky.

I don’t recall changing my position, but it feels like I’ve been in this posture for quite some time.
The academy's technology is quite impressive.
I heard that if I shout “stop,” it will end.
But for now, everything seems fine.

I turn my head to check my surroundings.
I’m inside a house.
Han Si-hu is outside on the street.

Is it that day?
The day I thought I shouldn’t let Han Si-hu inside my house.
This was before my will intervened.

What could I have changed?
If Seo-ah had asked Han Si-hu for help, would things have been different?
Nothing would have changed.

Knock, knock.

I hear the sound of Han Si-hu knocking on the door.

I could just open the door.
I could tell him to come in.
I could invite him to play together.
Like before.

“Ah…”

That’s not possible.
Look at the state of the house.
How many drugs have I taken?
Empty syringes are scattered on the floor.
The medicine bottles are all empty.

I remember now.
I used every drug I could before dying.
I was scared.

Hanging myself with a rope is terrifying.
Stabbing myself with a knife is terrifying.
But living in this state is even scarier.

I prop myself up with one hand on the floor.
In my other hand, I hold a small kitchen knife.
What was I planning to do with it?
It’s not for cooking.

“Yoo Seo-ah.”

Han Si-hu knocks on the door.
His voice is close.
I can feel he’s standing outside.
Here, Yoo Seo-ah plays the role of coldly rejecting him.
I send him away with a stream of curses.

I can’t let him see.
If he comes in, everything will be exposed.

Deep down, I feel happy.
The feeling that Han Si-hu hasn’t forgotten me.
But immediately after, I reflect on what I’ve done.
Looking at the scattered syringes.

“Open the door.”

His tone is aggressive.
Was he always like this?

I need to stop him from opening the door.
How?
My body feels weak.
I can’t even muster the strength to speak.

What’s the right choice?
After all, this is just a hallucination.
It must be a simulation or something similar.

It’s pulling out bad memories from the past.
But I don’t think this level of memory is problematic.
I don’t see it as a painful memory.

“Open the door.”

If he wants to, Han Si-hu could break through the door.
He could leap over the fence.
He could smash through the wall.
The reason he doesn’t is out of respect for Yoo Seo-ah.

The house is a sanctuary.
It’s better for both of us if he doesn’t come in.

“I’m coming in.”

It unfolds differently than I remember.
The dialogue is a bit different, though.
Should I respond somehow?
I’m not perfectly recreating that time.

A memory from the past?
It’s all fake anyway, so is it really okay?
If Han Si-hu intends to barge in without hesitation, I have no way to stop him.

Creak.

The door is ripped off its hinges.
Yeah, that’s how it is.
I can’t stop this.

“Just as I expected.”

Han Si-hu, holding a sword, speaks.
This diverges from my memories.
I’ve never seen a scene like this.

He’s hostile.

I’ve never realized he could look at Yoo Seo-ah that way.
Even if it’s just a hallucination, it feels threatening.

“Couldn’t even die properly.”

Han Si-hu wanders around the yard and picks up a rope.
The clumsily tied knot feels familiar.

“Are you thinking of living on like this, like a parasite?”

He casually throws the rope while speaking.
These words sound like something Han Si-hu would never say.

“It’s best for everyone. Dying here would be the most efficient. It’s unfortunate, but…”

This isn’t the real Han Si-hu.
But it feels strangely familiar.
I’ve felt something similar somewhere before.

“Isn’t there a problem?”
Han Si-hu mutters to himself.

“…The doctor? They can handle it at the academy anyway. Most of the key figures don’t even know about Yoo Seo-ah’s existence…”

He seems to be contemplating something.
I feel like I’ve seen this expression before.

“But can I really not kill you with my own hands?”

Han Si-hu steps closer to Yoo Seo-ah.
He wears a slight smile.
It’s an expression that suggests everything is going according to plan.
It’s clear that he’s not the Han Si-hu I know.

But why does this feel so familiar?
His unique way of thinking is comforting.
The dialogue feels familiar.

“There’s karma here. It’s also called karma, and as long as I don’t kill you with my own hands, it should be fine.”

He doesn’t intend to dirty his own hands.
But he wants Yoo Seo-ah to die.

“It would have been convenient if you had just overdosed on the drugs. Is there no remaining medicine?”

He kicks the scattered syringes.

“If someone comes and raises questions, it’ll be bothersome. The best way is for you to just die on your own.”

I’m beginning to have an idea of who it might be.
It’s not Han Si-hu but rather the protagonist.

It’s something I’ve always thought.
I want to be the protagonist.

So what would the protagonist have done?
If I had been in Han Si-hu’s position.
It’s not impossible that I would have done something like that.
Efficiently, heading towards success, eliminating everything that gets in the way.

“Don’t look at me with those eyes. You think it’s better to end up like this, don’t you?”

I stagger as I rise from my spot.
I still have the kitchen knife in my hand.

“Are you planning to attack me?”

Han Si-hu speaks with a smile.

“If I’m gone, you’ll be too. The world will likely perish as well. Right?”

That look is like…
What should I say?

“Let’s go with efficiency.”

He snaps his fingers.
Flames burst forth.

“I just want to burn down this place. It’ll serve as practice for my [Fire] skills.”

Han Si-hu shouldn’t have fire skills.
He probably obtained them through some trick.
The story wouldn’t flow like this.

The Han Si-hu in this hallucination feels more like a protagonist than I do.
He seems to know much more than I do.
He embodies the extreme of the efficiency I’ve desired.
The protagonist who is running towards the goal.

“Like this.”

Snap.

With the sound of fingers snapping, flames rise.
There are precious belongings in the house.
I’ve disposed of most, but a few things I haven’t managed to clear out remain in the drawers.
I can’t let them burn.

Stop.

If I say stop, the test will end.
Stop.
Words don’t come out.

No matter what, this is wrong.

“The slum is nice for things like this. Even if it gets messy, no one cares.”

Han Si-hu speaks with delight.

“Anyway, it’s going to rain soon. You won’t catch a cold.”

That’s right.
It’ll rain from this gloomy sky soon.
But right now, it’s very different.
The situation is very different.

“…This isn’t personal hatred.”

Han Si-hu stands beside me and speaks.

“You know. If you had been in good condition, I would have tried to save you… but it’s too late. It’s not right to let unnecessary emotions intervene. You’re already too late.”

It’s too late for Yoo Seo-ah to be treated.
That’s certainly true.
Hearing it from someone else feels strange.
It’s true.
I knew it was true myself.

“It’s delusional to believe that you can be treated. Look at you. You’re just using drugs because you want to drown in pleasure. Living on will only be a burden to others.”

I know.
I understand that I’m a nuisance.

“So let’s end it here. It’s better for everyone, and it’ll be cleaner. As much as you can’t do it, I will.”

If Han Si-hu can do it,
then it should be okay without me.

All this time, I’ve been muttering that I’m a hindrance, that I’m trash, all alone.
Still, I acted as if I deserved to live.
Because people treated me well.
Because they played with me.

“You know what the right choice is.”
He says while looking at the burning house.
Leaving no traces of Yoo Seo-ah behind.
Not becoming a hindrance to the protagonist.
What the protagonist desires is what I desire.

Because I am the protagonist.
If I were the protagonist, I would want Yoo Seo-ah to disappear.
If I became her, then it would be hypocrisy to change my mind.
Efficiency, a straight path toward the goal.

“Yeah. You thought well.”
Isn’t this the right choice?
After all, thanks to the drugs, it doesn’t hurt.
I was trying to summon courage.

The blade touches my neck.
I finish it myself.
Without relying on someone else.
The method that would help Han Si-hu the most.
The way to offer assistance.

Bang!

“-Stop. 8 minutes and 56 seconds.”

Lee Yoo-ram halted the test.
The surrounding environment returns to normal.

[2 hours 12 minutes]

Time has significantly decreased.
A black blade is gripped in my hand.

“Ah...”
So this was the kind of test.
My mind feels a bit clearer.
I feel strange.

“Are you okay?”
I truly feel strange.
I dispel the knife that was in my hand.

[2 hours 11 minutes]

That was dangerous.
In the hallucination, time was invisible.

“…Are you okay? Even if it stopped, this is a pass.”
But it seems that what Han Si-hu said might be correct.

“Was the intensity of the test too strong?”
I shouldn’t become a hindrance to the protagonist.
Being unable to disappear on my own is just silly.
Instead of just saying it, I need to show it through my actions.

But I’ve already hindered him.
So I need to provide some help.

—Whoosh.

[11 hours 21 minutes]

“Ahaha...”
I feel better.
I had only been thinking negatively.
People need to live positively.

“Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
Lee Yoo-ram places the file folder on the desk.

“The pain tolerance test... isn’t necessary, reaction speed, concentration... it’s okay not to do them... monster processing by grade... let’s skip that. Today is done.”

“Is that it?”
“Yeah. Other classes will probably take a long time. There are many people, and they need to explain the system.”

“Aha.”
Is it the system that runs the academy?
Since I’m in a special class, it probably doesn’t have much meaning to explain to me.

“You got reassigned to a new dorm, right? The drug delivery will go there directly, so make sure to receive it well.”
“Yes.”
I’ll receive the drugs without going through Han Si-hu.
That’s better.

“If the drugs are insufficient or if something goes wrong, contact me immediately. Did you receive the device? Yeah. That one. You can contact emergency services by pressing this button...”

Han Si-hu registered several numbers on the device.
Han Si-hu.
Because of what happened earlier, it feels like an image has been overlayed over him.
I think I understand how terrifying mental attacks can be.
Do other students go through something similar?
I feel a sense of respect.