-After the accident, the perpetrator said, "I was too drunk to remember."

It was a news story I had seen before. Trash. How could being drunk be a reason for a lighter sentence? You should be responsible for your actions.

Isn’t it the same with drugs? But I didn’t take the drugs of my own free will. I might have injected every syringe I had, but in this clear state of mind, I would never have done such a thing.

I know that much. Yes, that must be it.

"Yeon-Hwa, could you step aside for a moment? Just for a bit."

Han Si-Hoo gives me a strange look. That girl is still keeping her guard up against me.

"You said it was dangerous? Something about 'seventeen hundred' or whatever. Are you sure you're okay?"

Dangerous? What is she talking about?

"I’m fine."

"...Be careful."

Yeon-Hwa says that and then leaves the room. What should I be careful of? Now it’s just Si-Hoo and me. The atmosphere feels strange. Anyway, I need to say what I came to say.

"Uh, Si-Hoo. Thank you. I think I don’t need the drugs anymore. I’m all better."

[Paused]

Am I really better? “Paused” suggests the possibility of it resuming later. But as long as I don’t take any more drugs, I should be fine. I have no intention of taking them, so I’ll be okay.

"I’m sorry for attacking you. Really, I’m sorry. I’ll never do it again. I’m sorry."

I know that this apology isn’t enough. I’ll find a way to repay him someday.

"I’m normal now. I won’t hold you back anymore."

Han Si-Hoo doesn’t respond to my apology. He just stares at me with a cold expression. Is he that angry? Of course, he is. I did try to kill him. It doesn’t seem like he’s willing to accept my apology.

"It’s fine."

Something feels off. The atmosphere is different from usual. Han Si-Hoo reaches out his hand, but then it stops near my neck.

"...Step away from me. My current state is... strange."

"What?"

"It’s a skill’s side effect. Right now, there’s a chance I might attack you. Sorry, but stay away."

Han Si-Hoo speaks with his eyes closed. If he’s saying this, then something must be wrong.

"Okay, I’ll come back later."

Of course, there had to be a price. This world is particularly harsh when it comes to healing. External wounds can be treated quickly, but that’s about it. If you don’t get treated quickly, even those become hard to heal. Internal injuries or invisible illnesses are beyond the scope of an Awakened’s abilities. That’s usually the case. Though I’ve heard of exceptional healers who can bypass such limitations.

But Han Si-Hoo isn’t known for healing abilities. He’s more focused on combat. And yet, he somehow managed to heal me completely. He mentioned a side effect from his skill. It must be related to the purification skill.

"Hold on."

He speaks, covering his eyes with his arm. It seems like he shouldn’t be looking at me.

"Just a moment... where were you before you came here?"

"I was in the medical ward downstairs."

"Oh, I see. With who?"

"The doctor."

"...Doctor?"

"Yeah, I saw him again after a long time."

Now that I say it out loud, something feels off. Did Han Si-Hoo dislike the doctor? There must be some misunderstanding. The doctor’s a good person.

"Teacher Lee Yoo-Ram?"

"Huh? No."

"Then who?"

"You’ve seen him before too. When we first arrived at the academy... Now that I think about it, we haven’t seen him since then."

Han Si-Hoo lowers the arm that was covering his face.

"...Who?"

"You know, the one who used to give me the drugs."

"The doctor... was with you?"

"Yeah. If there’s some misunderstanding about him, you should clear it up..."

Misunderstanding? What am I even saying? There must have been a reason for him to be seen as an enemy. Suddenly, I don’t know why I feel so positive about the doctor. I haven’t even used any drugs.

[Paused]

"...Ah. Is that so."

At some point, Han Si-Hoo opened his eyes. He looks at the needle marks on my arm and lets out a deep sigh.

"So, no matter how many times it repeats, it’s always the same."

"Huh?"

"Of course. It’s delusional to think we could go back to how things were. Isn’t it? Shut up, will you?"

He’s scaring me. Is he talking to himself? I’ve never seen Han Si-Hoo mutter like this before.

"No matter how many times I purify you, if you use the drugs again, you’ll go right back."

"I won’t use them anymore."

I don’t plan to take the drugs again, even if the doctor offers them.

"The drugs came from the doctor, but I don’t need them anymore. I’m not in pain, so I don’t need them."

I’m rambling.

"Anyway, you don’t need to worry—"

Han Si-Hoo doesn’t respond. He just steps closer and reaches out his hand. A handshake?

"Ka-huk."

He grabs my neck. I can’t pry his hand off. Just as I start to lose consciousness, Han Si-Hoo lets go, giving me a moment to breathe.

"Ah, ha..."

He seems really angry. That’s the look of someone who’s truly disgusted. Now I understand how terrifying Han Si-Hoo can be when he’s your enemy.

I never thought he would get this angry. Is it because of the skill’s side effects? He did say there was a chance he might attack me. Or did I say something wrong? Was it the mention of the doctor?

[Paused]

"Wait, just—"

He grabs my neck again. With one hand. It felt like everything would go back to normal as long as Han Si-Hoo stayed okay. But things don’t work out that conveniently.

The price for restoring a completely broken Yoo Seo-Ah. If Han Si-Hoo is the one who gets broken instead, so be it. I remember now. I finally recall what the purification skill is.

"Hah, ha, haah."

I gasp for breath, feeling dizzy. My vision starts to turn white.

"I should have done this from the start."

Han Si-Hoo watches me with a blank expression, as if this situation doesn’t faze him at all.

I’m paying for my sins. For living like trash, I suppose.

"I’m sorry."

It’s only right to apologize. Han Si-Hoo doesn’t respond.

I’m not sure if this is really Han Si-Hoo. He seems like how I was when I was on the drugs. Now I see, he’s been dealing with someone like that this whole time. Han Si-Hoo must have had a hard time.

"If only you’d had the sense to disappear, none of this would have happened."

That’s true. It really is.

"You know, do you still find Han Si-Hoo scary? Even though you’re clinging to him like this?"

I’m only just starting to feel scared.

"And the doctor? Is he your good friend?"

He’s not a friend, but he’s a good person. Isn’t he?

"Didn’t you say this hurt?"

He pokes my stomach.

"Ugh?"

"Tell me, what kind of life do you lead to get injuries like that?"

That’s something Han Si-Hoo would never ask. Something he would never do.

"Did you sell your body? Even if not, it wouldn’t be surprising if something happened to you."

For a moment, my mind went blank.

"No, that’s not it."

It’s the first time anyone’s asked me something so blunt. But I understand. The environment, the circumstances are all a mess. It wouldn’t be strange if someone thought that.

"It’s really not."

I hadn’t fallen that far.

-Thud.

"Kuh-huk."

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts so much. It hurts, hurts, hurts.

He kicked me in the stomach. I open my eyes to find myself collapsed on the floor.

Drugs. If I had them, it wouldn’t hurt as much. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt pain this intense, and I can’t get used to it. No, I don’t need the drugs anymore.

[Paused]

I used to take them because I didn’t have enough time. Now I have no reason to use them.

But it hurts. I hate being in pain. Why did he hit me? I don’t understand.

"-W-what are you doing?"

That voice isn’t mine. Yeon-Hwa came back into the room.

"You hit her?"

She looks confused. But Han Si-Hoo only stares at me. I need to explain.

Cough. I keep coughing until I can finally speak.

This is a misunderstanding. Really. If I had spoken up earlier, I could have explained it somehow. Most of the scars on my body are self-inflicted. It’s not that big of a deal.

But it hurts. I think something’s broken. I don’t want to be hit anymore.

I can’t make sense of what’s happening. What’s going on?

Weren’t they friends? Did Si-Hoo hit her? Well, to be fair, she did try to kill him. I can understand why he’d be angry. Even I felt angry enough to want to kill her.

But Si-Hoo didn’t look like he was angry at all. I thought maybe they had a special bond as friends. Whatever happened between them, I assumed they would resolve it on their own.

"I-I swear, it's not like that."

Yoo Seo-Ah's eyes are welling up with tears. Is it because of the pain, or is she just sad? I don’t know what she’s trying to deny.

"I didn’t sell my body."

What is she even trying to explain?

"I’ve never done that. Really, I haven’t."

She speaks in a panicked voice. A girl from the slums. For a girl living in such a place, it wouldn’t be surprising if she had done something dirty. That’s how I had been thinking all along. But seeing Yoo Seo-Ah in front of me now, I realize something is very wrong.

How could a girl her age say something like that?

What? Does she really need to defend herself by saying she hasn’t sold her body? What is this? Is this hell?

A normal girl wouldn’t be in a situation like this. When I first saw her smiling, she just seemed like a regular girl.

"I’ve never done anything like that."

The anger I’d built up from hearing that she tried to kill Si-Hoo was overwhelming. But as my anger subsides, I can see Yoo Seo-Ah more clearly. Her arms, hidden beneath her sleeves, are covered in scars as if she had been slashed repeatedly. Her body is full of needle marks.

I thought it was her own fault. Just looking at the state of her dorm room, with syringes scattered everywhere... I thought she was just a filthy addict. The kind of trash who would even try to kill her friend.

She’s crouched on the floor in pain.

There’s no way she would have wanted this for herself.

"Stop it..."

Si-Hoo doesn’t look normal either. His eyes are shaking. As if he didn’t mean for this to happen, he steps back, looking unsettled. His expression is strained. He tries to cover his eyes with his hand.

Si-Hoo has been acting strange for a while. Talking about strange numbers, going back and forth between states of mind. Still, when Yoo Seo-Ah appeared, I gave them space, thinking they could talk it out.

I need to find a way to stop this. But I don’t know how. I didn’t expect things to turn out like this, and now my mind is frozen.

Crack.

"Si-Hoo!"

Si-Hoo grabs the sword that had been resting against the side of his bed. He throws aside the scabbard and grabs the blade with his bare hand. Blood flows down from his palm.

"Ah, that feels better."

"What... what are you doing?"

Self-harm. I can see the sharp metal cutting into his palm.

"Sorry. Take Seo-Ah and get her out of here."

He’s still covering his eyes with one hand.

"I’ll pull myself together somehow."