Elderen arrived at an unbelievable speed the moment I called her. It’s safe to say she practically flew here.

Considering the distance from where she lived to where I was, I immediately regretted calling her. It was quite a long way, but if my memory wasn’t failing me, the car approaching right now was definitely Elderen’s.

It had only been about an hour since I called her. So, unless her car had wings, it meant Elderen had floored the accelerator like a madwoman.

‘Did she speed?’

In this day and age, speeding like that would land her a hefty fine. Not to mention, the points on her license would pile up. No matter how I thought about it, there was no reason for her to go to such lengths for me.

But as it turned out, my guess wasn’t far off. When Elderen stepped out of the car, she looked like a complete mess.

“Da-eun!”

She must’ve come straight from the gym. She was still wearing skin-tight workout clothes under a coat, and her hair was hastily tied up. Funny, considering she once coaxed me into doing my hair nicely.

Seeing her rush over like this, just because of my sudden call, made my heart sink a little.

I thought I’d calmed myself down enough by then, but I couldn’t stay still. Grabbing my crutches, I hobbled toward her. I nearly collapsed halfway through, but Elderen caught me before I could fall.

The last time we met, I remember her smelling like perfume. This time, there was a faint scent of dried sweat. For some reason, the soft feeling of her arms made my eyes sting with tears.

“Did you wait long?” she asked.

“No, it’s fine… hic, hic!” I choked out.

Oh no, this was bad. My mom always told me I looked terrible when I cried. I must’ve looked like a mess right now.

There wasn’t exactly anywhere fancy we could go. Elderen wasn’t dressed to be out and about, and my eyes were red and swollen from crying. As I got into the car, I caught a glimpse of myself in the side mirror, and I looked just like a crybaby.

I had cried too much. Now, sniffling in the car, this was the only place that felt somewhat suitable for us.

Thankfully, I calmed down quickly, but now I was faced with a different problem. I felt embarrassed for acting like a child. And worse, I’d have to explain what had happened.

But where should I start? How much could I even share without falling apart? I’d never been in this kind of situation before, so I had no idea what to do.

All I wanted right now was to be buried in warmth. Should I ask her to just hold me for a while without asking any questions? No, that would be too selfish of a request.

It was as if Elderen could read my mind.

“I… well…” I started.

“You don’t have to rush. We’ll go somewhere nice for some fresh air, okay?” she said.

“Okay, thank you.”

“And if it’s too hard to talk about, you don’t have to say anything at all.”

On our way to wherever we were going, we stopped to get coffee. My body craved alcohol, but Elderen was driving, so that wasn’t an option.

We ended up at a quiet spot overlooking the ocean. It was a peaceful place, the kind where not many people came and went, which somehow helped me feel more at ease. The waves crashing against the shore made a steady, soothing sound.

“For somewhere we just stumbled upon, it’s pretty nice, huh? Shall we sit over there?”

We settled down in a comfortable spot, sipping our coffee. It was the same coffee I always drank, but for some reason, it didn’t taste as bitter today. And as expected, Elderen sat right next to me.

We were close enough that just a small movement would have our skin touching. Seeking warmth, I leaned into her. Her gentle hand softly patted my shoulder.

My mind still wasn’t fully sorted out, so I decided to start with a different topic.

“Why are you so kind to me?” I asked.

“Hm? Hmm, that’s a fair question,” Elderen replied.

“Honestly, we didn’t exactly have the best first encounter, did we?”

The first time I met Elderen was when I was bleeding between my legs.

I suffer from severe menstrual cramps and heavy bleeding. My mood swings also get pretty extreme, and I spent a lot of time killing streamers left and right. Elderen was one of the victims from back then.

So really, if anything, she should hate me, not be kind to me.

“Promise not to get mad at what I’m about to say?” she asked.

“How could I? After you came all the way here for me.”

“I had a little sister once. She was just like you—about your age, just as pretty, and just as fragile.”

The body and mind are deeply connected. When the body falls ill, the mind follows, and vice versa.

Elderen’s sister had an illness that spread from her body to her mind.

One day, her sister got so sick that she couldn’t leave the hospital anymore. At first, things were okay. There was still hope for recovery, and her sister endured it well. But as the illness worsened, her strength faded.

“I put more money in your account. If you want anything, buy it.”

“I don’t need it. I told you before, I don’t want to see your face.”

“You know I can’t just not see you. How are you feeling? Dr. Park said there’s been some improvement.”

“I’d feel much better if I didn’t have to see you.”

The treatment was excruciating.

People’s hearts have limits, and her sister had to fill that limit with pain. So in her heart’s well, only pain flowed.

When was the last time Elderen saw her smile? It was a faint, hazy memory. Their once close bond now felt like a distant dream. Her sister chose to inflict pain on others to lessen her own suffering.

It wasn’t right. Elderen was deeply hurt by this, and her sister lashed out at the nurses and medical staff too. Elderen had even complained when she overheard them gossiping.

But she couldn’t understand it.

She had done everything she could for her sister. Why did her sister have to be so cruel to her? Elderen hadn’t done anything wrong.

“You think I’m pathetic, don’t you? Stuck in this place…”

“Don’t say that. I’ve never thought of you that way.”

“If you don’t want to hear it, then leave! Go away. The mere sight of you makes me sick, so don’t come near me ever again!”

“…Okay. I’m sorry. Get some rest. I’ll leave.”

Looking back, those were cries of desperation.

The kind of cries that come out when the pain is too much to bear. A plea for mercy that had turned rotten and foul from her sickened heart.

Back then, Elderen didn’t have the luxury of understanding. She was only human, after all, and her heart had limits too. She couldn’t stand the stench of her sister’s festering emotions any longer.

After working herself to the bone, she’d come home only to be met with her sister’s bitterness. Instead of resting her tired body and mind, she became a sponge for more of her sister’s venom. Naturally, Elderen grew weary. Perhaps she had already reached her limit.

Then one day, the doctor called her in.

“You should start preparing yourself.”

“Preparing myself?”

“Your sister won’t be with us for much longer.”

And Elderen… felt relieved.

No more scrambling to earn hospital bills. No more working herself to exhaustion through the weekends and listening to her sister’s resentment. She could finally live for herself.

Ah, freedom.

She was finally free.

The doctor must have thought her tears were those of loss. But only Elderen knew the truth. Those tears were of joy, for the freedom she had gained.

Though she felt vile, she never showed it outwardly. Even at the very end, she stayed by her sister’s side, prepared to endure any hurtful words her sister might throw at her in her final moments.

“Sis…”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I know you didn’t want to see me.”

“No… that’s not it. I’m sorry… for everything I said. Can you forget it all?”

“What?”

In her last moment, her sister apologized.

Elderen’s heart twisted in pain.

That one word, “sorry,” hurt more than any of the sharp, cutting words her sister had ever thrown at her. She didn’t even realize she had let go of her sister’s hand.

Her sister, who could barely move a finger, found the strength to hold her hand once more, leaving a faint warmth behind.

“I’m not in pain anymore, so I can say it now. I love you, sis. Thank you for staying with me… I never hated you. Not once.”

Those were her sister’s final words. With them, her sister stopped breathing. And Elderen’s mind went blank.

She had never hated me?

Then what does that make me—the one who felt relief at your death? The one who couldn’t even smile for you at the end?

While the medical staff came in and took care of her sister’s body, Elderen didn’t move. She just held her sister’s hand, unmoving, until the doctor shook her shoulder a few times. Only then did the tears start to flow. Tears of loss, sorrow, and regret.

A few years later, Elderen, now more commonly known by that name than her real one, met a girl in a game.

• "Hah… haha… hah… ha."

Unsteady breathing. A laugh that sounded both sadistic and broken. The girl clung to her, almost as if in an embrace.

Looking at the girl choking herself, Elderen felt a sense of familiarity.

Somehow, she understood.

The girl’s laughter was, in fact, a scream.