There was a time when I had this thought.

Could it be that reincarnation is just a delusion created by a girl weary of a harsh life, trying to forget reality?

Though I quickly dismissed the thought because the memories were too vivid to be just a delusion, the idea often resurfaced when I noticed how different I was from others.

And when I met Edel, I confirmed once again that my memories were not simply delusions.

'...So what?'

Even knowing that, does it change my life?

My conversation with Edel only made it clearer to me that I was an impurity.

I possessed memories of the other world but didn't belong to it.

I was born in this world, but I didn't entirely belong here either.

An impurity, belonging nowhere.

Was I really hoping someone would come to me?

"...No."

I never wished for anything like that. Not even once.

"No."

But Journey immediately denied my words.

"Even though you never said it out loud, Kana, you definitely wanted that."

Her voice was soft, as if soothing a child.

Before I realized it, I stepped back from her.

"Remember? When we first met, you saved my life."

"...I was just hunting the cockatrice."

"If that were the case, you could've just waited for the cockatrice to kill me, right?"

"...I did it because I didn’t want to waste time."

"Fine, let's say it was that. Then, why didn’t you stop me from following you?"

"That’s... I thought Garid would like it if you learned how to use Granik."

Kana would have known.

She was right.

At the time, I was aware that she was following me.

Journey took another step closer to me, and I retreated one more step.

"You taught me swordsmanship and saved me from the Imperial soldiers."

"..."

I only taught her because her sword form was so terrible I couldn’t stand watching it. As for the Imperial soldiers, they were coming after me anyway, so technically, they were helping me by getting rid of them.

Step by step, as Journey spoke, I kept retreating.

And Journey kept advancing towards me.

Each step closed the distance between us.

And finally, she was close enough to hold my hand.

"More than anything, if you truly didn’t want someone coming close, you would’ve refused when I asked to come with you. But you didn’t."

It would have been easier and faster to go alone.

"..."

I was at a loss for words.

I wanted to object.

'To see if my guess was correct.'

Or,

'Because it would’ve been inconvenient if we couldn’t communicate.'

Other reasons came to mind as well.

But the more I thought about them, the more I realized how feeble and hollow they were.

There were far more efficient ways to confirm my guess than watching her every move.

The inconvenience of not being able to communicate was nothing compared to the inconvenience of traveling with her.

Yet, even as I racked my brain to come up with a counterargument—

Suddenly!

"...Ah."

I was at a loss for words as warmth enveloped me.

This wasn’t the first time I was held by her.

But for some reason, this warmth felt more special now.

"..."

"..."

Journey didn’t say anything as she held me.

Suddenly, something hot streamed down my cheek.

It was only then that I realized I had been crying for quite some time.

"...I was scared."

Held tightly by Journey, I spoke aloud the words rising from deep within me.

"I was scared of feeling like everything I had was crumbling and disappearing again."

Even though no one could accept me like Garid had, even if someone did, they would eventually leave my side.

Because I’m an impurity, belonging nowhere.

Then, I’d be left feeling alone in this world once again, losing everything.

That thought terrified me.

On top of that, Journey was a player who thought of this world as a game.

She could disappear at any moment if she lost interest.

Even if she didn’t, something could happen in the real world that would prevent her from logging in.

Then I would be left waiting, clueless.

Like a desert fox waiting for its prince, endlessly.

At first, I might be angry.

Then, I might feel sad, thinking I was abandoned.

But eventually, those feelings would fade, and I’d be consumed by endless emptiness and futility.

"...Yeah, I see."

Journey gently patted my back, still holding me as I rambled incoherently.

When she finally released me, the warmth that had filled me dissipated along with her touch.

As I shivered in the cold night air, she held out a flower to me.

It was the same flower she had placed in my hair earlier.

"Do you know what this flower symbolizes?"

"..."

"'Longing for someone who has left.' And..."

Her eyes met mine as she bent down.

The face reflected in her eyes was a mess beyond description.

"'Hope for a new encounter.' Isn’t it fascinating? Two opposite meanings in one flower. Perhaps the person who came up with this symbolism realized—"

Journey gently took my hand.

Before I knew it, the flower she had been holding was now in my hand.

"That meeting and parting are inseparable. If there’s a new encounter, there’s also a new farewell. But I think—"

Journey’s gaze softened as she spoke.

"If you’re so afraid of an inevitable farewell that you avoid meeting anyone, that’s truly sad."

"Living alone without meeting anyone—that’s just too sad, isn’t it?"

"...I don’t know."

Looking back...

Aside from my time with Garid, I was always alone.

Even when I was with the other kids in the slums.

Even when I led the knights after Garid was gone.

I was always with people, but I never felt like I was truly together with anyone.

"Even if you didn’t feel it, Kana, deep down, you must’ve thought, 'I don’t want to be alone.'"

Journey’s thumb gently brushed my cheek, trailing from my cheek to under my eye.

She carefully wiped away every tear before smiling softly.

"I just want Kana to be happy."

"..."

'I want you to be happy.'

Over Journey’s soft voice, I heard another, deeper voice.

A voice I missed but could never hear again.

"...Will you not leave me?"

I knew everything must come to an end, even with Journey.

Knowing that, I still asked her.

And Journey nodded exaggeratedly, as if to reassure me.

"Of course. Would a sister ever abandon her younger sibling?"

"...Promise me you won’t leave me."

"I promise."

The warmth that had faded returned once again.

"I’ll never leave Kana behind."

Does she understand the weight of what I’m saying?

Probably not.

She doesn’t know that this world is both a game and a real place. She doesn’t know that the people here are not just programmed NPCs but real people.

She doesn’t know that I know all of this.

But still, I let myself lean into the warmth.

And as I was held in Journey’s arms, I spoke quietly to her.

"...My name is Canaria Grasis."

No.

"Just... Canaria."

"Yeah, Canaria."

"...Please take care of me, Da-eun."

"...! Yeah! Please take care of me too!"

Da-eun beamed and hugged me tightly again.

It was stifling.

But...

"..."

It was warm.

 

"Ugh..."

As Da-eun and I exchanged morning greetings, my face flushed with heat as memories of the other night surfaced.

That night, we untangled the knots in our relationship that had seemed impossible to loosen.

We shared many stories—about my childhood, my time with the knights, and my days with Garid.

It was hard to start, but once I began, the words flowed easily.

Da-eun also shared stories with me, though she seemed to hesitate now and then, as if there were things she wasn’t supposed to say. But I could tell she was trying her best, so I pretended not to notice when she faltered.

As I listened to her, I realized something.

I didn’t remember clearly, but in my previous life, it seemed that individuals could broadcast themselves over the internet.

Her constant talking and quick reactions made sense when I considered that this might have been her profession.

That night, she didn’t seem to be broadcasting for some reason... Maybe she didn’t want to share our heartfelt conversation with others.

If she had been the type to share such things, we might not have grown so close.

Noticing my hesitation, Da-eun asked me.

"Uh? What is it?"

"...It’s nothing."

Talking about how I wanted to be alone, how scared I was, and begging her not to leave...

Back then, I was overwhelmed with emotion, so it didn’t bother me, but thinking about the things I said now, they were all so embarrassing.

...I don’t regret it, though.

If not for that moment, Da-eun and I wouldn’t have been able to untangle our mess and start anew.

Even though I said it was nothing, Da-eun still looked down at me with concern.

Feeling awkward under her gaze, I scratched my cheek and changed the subject.

"About our plans moving forward..."

"What?! You’re leaving already?"

"No. That’s not it."

I shook my head.

Even though I had poured out all those old, festering emotions, I still wasn’t particularly interested in the festival.

After all the trouble we went through getting here from Grasis’ territory, I just wanted to rest for a few days.

...And also.

"You wanted to see it, right?"

The Descent Festival.

For some reason, it felt too embarrassing to say this while looking her in the eyes, so I glanced away.

"..."

"...?"

I expected her to respond quickly, but strangely, she didn’t react at all.

I turned back to Da-eun, confused by her lack of response, and found her staring blankly at me.

What’s going on with her? I tilted my head in confusion.

That’s when a sparkle returned to her eyes.

"...What is this adorable creature...? How can someone be this cute?"

"...What are you saying?"

I scoffed at her silliness.

"Anyway, after the Descent Festival, we’ll talk."

You’ll follow me, right?

I looked up at Da-eun with that expectation in my eyes.

She didn’t disappoint me.

"Of course, I’ll follow you! Where are we going this time?"

Was it the thought of traveling that made her so happy, or the idea of going with me?

Either way, seeing her so happy wasn’t a bad feeling.

"We’re going to ‘Raxia.'"

"...Huh? Where?"

"To the great continent, Raxia."

At my words, Da-eun froze on the spot.

Seeing her reaction, I quietly nodded.

Yeah, it’s not exactly a place you’d be happy to visit.