NoveLight ™
In the streaming world, especially among V-Tubers, there’s a tradition that’s almost a rite of passage.
Once you hit your one-year debut anniversary, you revisit your first broadcast.
Most of the time, it ends up with the streamer screaming in embarrassment, unable to handle the cringiness.
That’s just how people are, after all.
Looking back on your own immature self, revisiting a time you’d rather forget—it’s bound to come with a sense of shame.
Naturally, I wasn’t an exception either.
“Ugh, ahhh...”
A mental attack came out of nowhere.
I was so embarrassed I could barely speak.
It felt like my brain had glitched, completely frozen in place.
On the screen, there I was, raising my arm and showing off my armpit.
As if that wasn’t enough, I wiggled my fingers, a tipsy grin creeping up my face.
There was a softness, a happiness in the smile that radiated from me in the video.
Ah. I was in the middle of a match.
My face was burning, and I missed my timing.
To make things worse, my dagger’s trajectory was slightly off, not dealing enough damage to the Qi Master.
The opponent looked confused but quickly retreated.
"No, no... this is cheating!"
“Don’t send videos like that. I’ll block you.”
What the hell had made me so happy in that video?
Even my voice sounded sweet, softer than I’d ever heard myself speak before.
Well, not that I didn’t know the reason.
I had been struggling to keep my expression in check when people were praising my skills earlier.
Honestly, it wasn’t a bad feeling, knowing people still liked me.
Even now, I craved attention and affection.
Those things were so precious to me that whenever I received them, my heart melted.
But, as nice as it was, embarrassment was still embarrassment.
I didn’t want to keep seeing videos like that.
Thinking back on those times... it made me feel a bit strange.
My spine tingled with shame, but at the same time, a warm sensation spread from my lower abdomen.
This is bad. This is a pivotal moment in my first stream.
I don’t want to show a weakened side of myself right now.
I forced my voice out, trying to regain composure.
“You think I’ll lose because of this?”
Because I’d missed my timing, the Qi Master now had a chance to counterattack.
A pale blue wave came flying toward me.
Judging by the color, it was the skill that causes an area explosion with a slow effect.
The opponent wasn’t aiming for big damage but rather trying to change the flow of the battle.
Could I dodge it with just movement?
It seemed a bit too late for that.
I’d either have to use a skill or block the explosion directly.
There was no need to overthink it.
The opponent was a Qi Master—a class that shines when hammering shield-type classes.
The wave barely touched the tip of my blade, leaving a heavy sensation in its wake, but I managed to parry it.
The wave lost its power and dissipated.
I immediately threw a dagger to break the flow of his continued assault.
Now it was time for me to take back control of the fight...
「User ‘Swaegolju’ has donated ₩10,000.」
「(Attached video: Ga-wol showing her collarbone.)」
「Could you pour me a drink right here?”」
...Time to take back control, but...
In the corner of my vision, I saw pale skin.
A delicately stretched collarbone, flushed red under the chin from drinking.
Sansae must have thought this one had crossed the line.
The donation was cut off, and the user was banned for three hours.
But the image I’d already seen didn’t disappear from my memory.
“Haaa...”
This battle wasn’t supposed to be this hard.
But I kept losing my rhythm, making it hard to maintain my advantage.
The opponent wasn’t an idiot and wasn’t about to let such an opportunity slip away.
My pride was starting to get hurt.
It felt like struggling against a low-level mob.
The Qi Master wasn’t a bad player, but he wasn’t particularly good either.
Normally, I would have crippled his mobility by attacking low, but now I was just biting my lip in frustration.
“This is... really too much...”
There’s no way I’m letting this match end like this.
[You have won.]
[Black 68 RP → 89 RP]
As I released the tension in my legs, the Qi Master collapsed powerlessly.
I gave his limp body a little nudge with my foot, pushing it to the floor.
Now that he was lying flat, I finally felt a bit more at ease.
I won.
Thankfully.
“Haa... that was close. Anyway, I succeeded again, right?”
[Remaining HP: 100%]
To be honest, there were a lot of close calls in that match.
My win condition wasn’t just to defeat the opponent—it was to avoid getting hit at all.
Initially, I’d planned for a fast-paced battle and a quick win, but the power of those video donations was too much.
If it had just been one or two, it wouldn’t have been so bad.
I’d hoped Sansae would handle things after the collarbone video, but instead, she “set a standard” by adding her name to the donation list.
Still, people adapt, don’t they?
After being hit by these constant mental attacks, I reached a point where I got used to them.
What should’ve been a three-minute fight took way longer than expected.
But once I got accustomed to the donations, I completely regained control.
In the end, there was no need to spin the punishment roulette.
“Heh.”
No matter how much the viewers begged, I wasn’t going to change my mind.
Rules are rules.
If I broke my promises to the viewers and started doing whatever I wanted, it’d ruin my image.
Worse than being disliked, the stream would lose its appeal altogether.
So, even my smug grin was part of maintaining the fun of the stream.
Once the match ended, I turned off the video donations, ensuring my mental state wouldn’t be assaulted any further.
“Looks like a lot of you are unhappy. But a promise is a promise, right? As much as I hate to disappoint you all, there’s nothing I can do about it.”
At the time, I hadn’t realized something important.
Ranked games are always full of variables.
The moment the enemy team hits their peak, your team hits its lowest point—that’s just how it goes.
And right now, I had a target painted on my back, with countless snipers aiming at me.
“This, this is... well...”
I had racked up enough wins to reach over 300 RP when it happened.
I wasn’t sure if it was bad timing or deliberate, but personally, I leaned toward the latter.
I filed a report, so I’ll leave it to the game company to decide.
What’s clear is that I wasn’t struck by an enemy, but by an ally.
And the timing was nasty.
In a situation where I couldn’t trust my own team,
On top of that, the enemy team was relentlessly targeting me.
In hindsight, setting a 0 death objective had been far too optimistic.
[You have won.]
[Black 297 RP → 315 RP]
[Death: 1]
Thanks to the dedicated efforts of those snipers—I ended up recording a single death.
A victory in name only.
“W-wait! That’s not fair! I got shot by my own team, not the enemy!”
The world kept messing with me.
Yeah. Rules are rules.
If I made a promise, I had to keep it.
In the end, I pulled up the punishment roulette on the stream screen.
Sansae was really getting on my nerves.
‘Traitor. You tricked me.’
When we were setting the punishments, Sansae had pushed me pretty hard.
Sure, I made the final decision, but… people need to know how to blame others in moderation to stay mentally healthy.
Especially someone like me, whose mind isn’t always the clearest. It’s good to point fingers whenever I can.
"Anyway, I’ll spin it now. I think I’ll wrap up the stream soon after this."
As the roulette spun, I felt a strange sense of fatigue.
Please, at least let it land on something manageable.
I’d added some relatively easy ones just in case.
A "no prize" or "singing" wouldn’t be too bad.
As the roulette slowed down, the remaining options narrowed.
"Wear a school uniform on cam" was eliminated in a flash.
But the “no prize” and “singing” choices I was hoping for were quickly crossed off too.
Even the dreaded “stream while wearing a collar” fell out of the running.
There were a few options left:
"Eat extremely spicy ramen."
"Wear a nurse costume."
"Do a 3-hour chat stream calling viewers 'master.'"
As horrifying as they all were, I wasn’t exactly relieved.
The final punishment chosen by the roulette was “Cosplay Photo Reveal.”
I wasn’t sure exactly which character I’d be cosplaying yet.
"This one’s going to take some preparation. I can’t do it right away, but I’ll get it done once I’m ready."
With the punishment decided, it was finally time to end the stream.
I’d already prepared a closing phrase after much thought.
"I’m going to go now. My sign-off is this: ahem... I love you."
I’d always say “I love you” when ending a stream.
That way, someone in the chat would repeat it back to me.
If the chat was filled with words of love—it would make me truly happy.
Oh no, this is bad.
I already feel my heart softening.