It wasn’t even 10 a.m. when we arrived at our vacation spot. Traffic had been smooth, so we arrived earlier than planned. Elderin drove me there, but everyone else was expected to bring their own cars.
After checking in, Elderin handed me the key card.
“Do you want to go ahead and unpack?”
“Are you going somewhere?”
“Yeah, I’m going to pick up some things to use at the pool. Need to grab some beach towels too. I’ll have everything ready so that when Yu-han arrives, we can head to the store.”
“Alright, I’ll go on ahead then.”
A trip’s enjoyment usually scales with the quality of the accommodation.
Our place was a large two-story cabin with several rooms. Exploring it felt like a small adventure, and it turned out to be far cleaner and nicer than I’d expected. I even had to work to calm the childlike excitement bubbling up inside me.
I chose a room on the first floor since it would be difficult to go up and down with my leg. By the time I had unpacked, the others started arriving.
Was Ryeohee the first to get here?
I poked my head out toward the entrance, just in time to see her coming in, dragging her suitcase. My eyes were drawn to her arms, where a tiny dog was cradled gently.
“A puppy? How cute. What’s its name?”
“This is Hisom. Say hi, it’s Daeun unnie. Helloo~”
“Hello…”
Ryeohee gently shook the puppy’s little paw, and I waved back in return.
Since she called me “unnie,” Hisom must be a girl. Her fur looked soft and snowy white.
This body really loved animals. It wasn’t something I would have felt before—back then, I’d probably been closer to indifferent.
Now, though, just seeing a cute animal filled me with a strong urge to pet or hold it.
Ryeohee struck me as a bit sly. Keeping such an adorable dog all to herself… though maybe that’s overthinking it.
I pulled myself together.
“Elderin will be back soon. She said we’d go shopping once Sulbbang arrives.”
“Right! No way we’d skip a barbecue in a place like this. I’ll go unpack quickly!”
Ryeohee disappeared upstairs with Hisom. About thirty minutes later, we all headed out to the store.
Navigating through the crowd, I found myself back in a wheelchair. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d used one. It must have been those months right after the accident, so it hadn’t been recent.
Back then, I’d been like a living corpse.
My body had still been breathing, but my spirit was dead. There’s no better way to describe it. After forcibly saying goodbye to my teacher, I’d fallen even further.
Occasionally, a nurse would take me for walks in the wheelchair. But I don’t remember what I saw outside. In fact, my memories of being in a wheelchair are blurry. All that remains is a faint impression of the shame I felt in those quiet hallways.
Most memories from that time are like that. Sometimes I’d regain awareness to find myself in bed, and other times I’d see a doctor’s face. Dreams, hallucinations, and reality blurred together so much that I still don’t know what was real.
That’s why I didn’t like using a wheelchair. It gave me a hopeless feeling, as if I’d never stand again.
Even in Sigma’s accessible dorm, I’d stubbornly stuck with crutches for that reason. I clung to the use of both legs, however limited it was.
But… maybe I’d been wrong about this.
“Daeun, want to try this?”
I didn’t need to answer. Sansae brought a piece of German sausage to my mouth, and all I had to do was eat. The rich flavor of meat coated my tongue.
“How is it? Should we grab a bit?”
“It’s good. It’d be nice grilled with some meat, too.”
“Right? I’ll add it to the cart.”
Using the wheelchair had been an unavoidable choice.
Getting around on crutches is physically demanding. It’s also slow, making it a struggle just to keep up with others.
I couldn’t expect everyone to match my pace for the entire trip. If I didn’t use the wheelchair, I would have had to stay behind at the cabin. And if I’d stayed behind, someone would’ve felt compelled to stay with me.
I didn’t want that. I couldn’t let my pride ruin someone else’s trip. So I’d let go of my stubbornness, and it turned out to be… alright.
At least I wasn’t feeling negative about it. Since I wasn’t the one propelling myself, I was physically comfortable. People’s curious glances did bother me a bit, but taking Sulbbang’s hat helped with that.
“Do you want any snacks?”
“I don’t usually eat snacks.”
“Really? I eat chocolate all the time. Don’t you like sweets?”
“I do… but once I start, I can’t stop.”
“Oh, I know that feeling.”
Despite her words, Sansae tossed a few chocolate bars into the shopping cart, already past the point of restraint. Her carefree manner made me laugh.
Yeah.
I was enjoying myself.
It was clear I’d improved. I wasn’t the same person who’d had nothing left—no possessions, no future, no dreams, no goals. I now had people to share my heart and laughter with.
So, little by little, I’d be alright.
As a famous novel said, painful memories are like thorns embedded in your heel. Someday, I’d lay my scars to rest and finally remove those thorns.
“What’s your favorite kind of meat, Daeun?”
“To be honest, I used to like all kinds… but recently, I’ve been eating a lot of beef, so probably sirloin?”
“Your tastes have gotten more expensive.”
“I’ve started noticing it myself.”
This was Luche’s influence. With the players’ cafeteria closed for the holidays, I’d been eating all my meals with Luche. Naturally, I’d started following her diet.
My sensitive taste buds could now easily distinguish the quality of ingredients. I’d even developed an eye for the grade and doneness of beef just from tasting it—a far cry from my previous diet of mostly pork belly.
Not that I was a picky eater yet.
“Is there anything you want, Shin-a unnie? I’ll happily eat whatever’s given to me.”
“For grilling outside, I’d pick pork shoulder. I saw we already grabbed some beef.”
“Heh… I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me too.”
We only finished our shopping when the cart was overflowing.
Back at the cabin, we had a simple meal. And now, it was finally time to go in the water.
I’d been looking forward to it, though one thing kept nagging at me.
The swimsuit.
“I should’ve just bought a rash guard…”
What had I been thinking, buying something like this? As soon as I put it on, embarrassment hit me hard.
The swimsuit I’d chosen was a plain black bikini without any special patterns or decorations. At the time, it seemed like a good choice. Neutral colors usually blend in rather than stand out.
Maybe that wasn’t entirely wrong… if someone else were wearing it.
In the mirror, my pale skin was even more noticeable against the black. My skin was clear and smooth, with no distracting marks or spots. This drew all attention solely to my body.
And this swimsuit was designed with beauty in mind. It emphasized the slight curve of my chest, creating a deeper cleavage than usual. My gaze lowered, tracing the line of my toned abs down to my navel and then along the fabric’s edge near my groin.
When I looked back at my face, I saw a blush creeping up. Feeling self-conscious, I quickly turned away.
“Daeun, are you ready? Can I come in?”
“Yes…”
“Oh, it suits you well! I didn’t expect you to go for something so bold.”
“It’s… not like that.”
It was Elderin who entered, holding a bottle of sunscreen labeled in English.
“Did you put on sunscreen? If not, you can use mine.”
“No, I wasn’t planning on it.”
“Don’t waste that beautiful skin of yours. Come here, I’ll do your back.”
It didn’t look like I had any say in the matter. Reluctantly, I turned my back and sat down. A cold squirt of sunscreen hit my skin with a soft squelch.
“Ah!”
“You’re really sensitive. Guys love girls like you—those who react to the touch.”
“It’s just cold… and I’m not trying to be attractive.”
“I put it on myself first. It wasn’t cold.”
“…”
I hung my head in resignation. Let’s pretend this conversation didn’t happen.
I could feel her hands as she spread the sunscreen on my back. Her gentle touch moved from my shoulders down to my shoulder blades, then slowly to my sides. There was a caring, delicate attentiveness in her touch, and I didn’t mind it.
“I can put it on your front, too.”
“I’ll do it myself…”
“Make sure you finish. Leaving it half-done looks weird.”
Nodding, I decided against putting up any more resistance. I started with my hands and arms, then moved to my legs and feet.
But when I finally reached my exposed stomach and chest, Elderin said something ominous.
“You know there are cameras around the pool, right?”
“What? I didn’t hear anything about that!”
“Just kidding. If we had cameras on, Ryeohee wouldn’t be able to relax.”
Elderin let out a laugh, and for the first time, I was annoyed with her.