I Have a Reason to Hate Streamers
Chapter 145 Table of contents

The match against ACL had just concluded.
While I never thought we would lose, it was undeniably a match filled with high expectations and pressure.
It would be accurate to say we had passed a significant hurdle.

Since the match had been a complete victory, the team’s atmosphere was quite positive throughout our return.
Even Outlaw, who usually spoke little, seemed to be in high spirits.

Especially Hekate, who was very happy.
She had struggled quite a bit against Sparrow in the spring league.
Having successfully countered that directly, today’s match must have felt particularly refreshing.

Humans are creatures heavily influenced by their surroundings.
Of course, I was no exception.
I needed someone to share this feeling with, so as soon as we arrived at the dorm, I turned on the broadcast.

[Title: Just a Brief Broadcast Before Sleeping]
[‘Sigma Ga-wol’ is live.]
[ON AIR | 00:00:05 | WEBCAM]

Oh no.
I should have set up the camera beforehand.
It had been so long since I did a face-cam stream that I completely forgot.

“Hello! Can you see me well?”

I secured the camera to prevent it from shaking and checked the screen appearing on the monitor.
Aside from being a bit too close, there weren’t any major issues.

 

It seemed my chest was close to the camera.
I need to be more careful next time.

Anyway, even though I turned on the stream without notice, many people had come to watch.
Seeing the chat fill up so quickly put me in a good mood.
It felt like warmth was spreading inside me.

I should have grabbed a drink or something.
There should be some beer in the refrigerator downstairs.
If I’d also gotten some snacks, it would have been even better.

“I haven’t been able to stream much lately, so I thought I’d turn it on like this. It’s been a while.”

 

“It’s the dorm, indeed. It’s my room. Would you like to take a look? It’s nothing special, though.”

Even though my room isn’t very exciting, I didn’t mind showing it if the viewers were curious.
It was basically a room that hadn’t changed much from what Sigma provided.
I still used the furniture that was there, and I hadn’t really changed my blankets or cushions.

If I took out all my stuff, it would fit into just one suitcase.
The only notable items would be… my pajamas hanging in the closet and a rolled-up yoga mat in the corner?
I should have put away the pajamas.

I hadn’t realized I had hung them up since I had worn them for so long.
It was such a natural sight that I didn’t even think about it.

“The yoga mat is for light exercises in my room. Since my legs aren’t great, most of my exercises involve sitting or lying down. It’s convenient to have one.”

It was something my instructor had given me in the past.
Since I couldn’t go to the dojo, he had suggested I stretch instead.
Other than that, there wasn’t much else I kept in the room.

“The room looks a bit empty, right? I’m sorry if you were expecting something more. I don’t have a hobby of collecting things.”

I had always been like that since I was young.
Simply put, I lacked material desires.
I never thought much about needing to save money, but I also hadn’t had many things I wanted.

As long as I could buy what I needed at the time, that was enough.
Most of what I bought was related to kendo, anyway.
Even electronic devices like my tablet were ones my parents had bought for me, and I had used them for a long time.

Well, even if I had a hobby of spending money, I would have had to put it aside for a while.
It hadn’t been long since my bank balance had started to have some breathing room.
Just a few months ago, I was in a position where every penny mattered.

As I looked at the chat, more and more voices started to gather.

“Do you want to see me in my pajamas? I usually wear them inside, so I’m a bit shy… Um, okay. I guess pajamas should be fine. I’ll just turn the camera for a moment.”

 

I pointed the camera toward the wall and changed my clothes.
Since it was something I wore often, I hadn’t thought much about it, but it seemed like my chest made the shirt ride up a little.

But this should be fine.
It’s not like it’s too revealing, and there’s no way to hide it.
If I showed any signs of being self-conscious, it would only emphasize it further.

Thinking about it, this is the first time I’m showing this comfortable a side of myself.
Usually, when I appeared on broadcasts, I put in a bit of effort.
Especially when I was with Elderin, I was often half-forced into putting on makeup.

Compared to that, now I was in a relaxed state.
It wouldn’t be good if I became too relaxed, but still.

I perched myself on the edge of the bed and turned the camera back.

“This is how I usually am in my room. So, since I’ve changed clothes, shall we just chat for a bit? I really wanted to get an all-kill today…”

As I spoke quietly, my hands felt a little restless.
I grabbed a pillow and hugged it, starting to speak softly again.

It was enjoyable to have someone listening to me.
I shared stories one by one, and if there were any questions, I answered them sincerely.
In the community, my broadcasts had been surprisingly praised for how well I answered questions, saying they were quite enriching.

That was something I took pride in.
I would have preferred it if the word “surprising” had been omitted, though.

As the broadcast continued for over an hour,
one viewer’s donation caught my attention.

「Soran is a Girl has donated 10,000 won」
「Are you feeling unwell? You look quite pale.」

Glancing at the mirror, it was true.
My skin was generally pale, but today it looked a bit lifeless.
I guess the fatigue had piled up more than I thought.

“Oh…? Now that you mention it, I suppose it is. I guess I’m tired. Shall we end it here for today?”

That’s strange.
I didn’t feel this bad while I was in the arena earlier.
Somehow, this condition felt strangely familiar.

Speaking of which, what day was it today?
Suddenly, chills ran down my spine.

Every woman has a visitor they meet once a month.
It’s called a period or menstruation.
Fortunately, these days, I didn’t spill blood on my blanket, but… it was still not a welcome presence.

Moreover, it seemed that my menstrual cramps were pretty severe.

In the past, I hadn’t known because I had no comparison, but these days I had other women around me.
Especially Hekate and Luche, who lived in similar spaces.
Compared to those two, my cramps were distinctly painful.

Still, it wasn’t to the point where I couldn’t move at all.
I was menstruating, not dying of a terminal illness.

“So, you came over even though you’re in pain?”

Today was the day I had promised to meet with Elderin.
It wasn’t for anything grand; we just planned to have a meal together.

Being a professional gamer doesn’t mean you don’t have days off.
Unless there’s an important tournament coming up, pushing every day without rest can lead to negative effects.
You reach a limit at some point if you keep that up.

In short, the timing of my pain was just right.
If it were my usual cycle, it wouldn’t be a huge issue for the next training or match.

“I made a promise to meet in advance, you know? I don’t have a fever or anything.”
“Do you know how terrible you look? You’re even sweating cold.”
“...I’m sorry.”

No.
In truth, that was all an excuse.

The pain I felt in my lower abdomen was indeed real.
It felt as if my lower belly were being torn apart, as if something sharp were scraping inside.
The fatigue washing over my whole body was undeniable.

But more than that, it was the mental fluctuations that were worse.
For no reason, I felt as though my life had come to an end.

When I lived alone, I usually solved it by bathing in warm water.
I could take a shower in Sigma’s dorm too, but… I didn’t want to show my weak side to my teammates just yet.
I wanted to meet someone who could be there for me as Daeun, not as Ga-wol.
So I forced myself to keep my promise with Elderin.

“Let’s skip the restaurant for now. Let’s just rest at my place for a bit.”
“Okay… I’m sorry.”
“There’s no need to apologize. If a sick person loses all their energy, that’s no good. Get better quickly.”

Even though the promise had gone awry, Elderin didn’t get angry.
Instead, she invited me home to let me take a short nap.

Was it because someone was there to provide warmth?
After napping for an hour or so, I certainly felt better.
After eating warm abalone porridge, I felt even more okay.

“Are you feeling drowsy or anything?”
“No. I wasn’t entirely sleepless today.”
“Alright. Then, do you want to lie down here for a bit?”

“...?”

Elderin patted the spot in front of her on the sofa.
When I lay down as directed, her soft hand began to gently caress my belly.
The peculiar feeling made my toes curl.

“Uh, sister?”
“You said your menstrual cramps were quite bad, right?”
“Yeah… I did?”
“If I do this, it’ll feel a bit better. I’ll rub your belly and give your uterus a massage; it should relieve some discomfort.”

For a moment, my mind stopped.
What do you mean, massage...?

The warmth inside my belly gradually spread.
It felt as cozy and snug as being wrapped in a blanket during a cold winter.
The warmth was far more comforting than water from a shower.

Even amidst the warmth, the sensation of her palm remained distinct.
Happiness that started in my lower abdomen spread throughout my entire body… so much so that my mouth slightly fell open in a foolish smile.

I felt dreamlike and drowsy.
Maybe it was the relaxed state in my eyes, as they seemed to lose focus.
The world I was seeing became blurred in a wash of bright light.

At this rate, I felt like I might drool.
I tried to close my mouth, but it wasn’t easy.

“How does it feel? You’re definitely feeling less pain, right?”
“Yeees…”

My voice sounded languid.
My body and mind melted completely, making my words drag.

It was a little embarrassing.
I had considered letting my guard down, but I hadn’t intended to become this defenseless.
Since I felt good, I thought it might be okay… but still.

“Have the cramps always been this bad?”
“Since the first time. It hurt and there was bleeding, so I thought I was dying… like I had some kind of illness.”
“That must have been tough.”

Coincidentally, it was a time when my health had improved quite a bit.
The changes in my body had started right after the car accident.

I had come close to death due to the accident.
With nowhere intact, my body prioritized recovery.
Unnecessary functions like reproduction were the first to shut down, and only after a long recovery did they gradually return.

So my first period came quite abruptly.
It had surprised me by arriving at a moment I never expected.

I still remember it clearly.
I woke up to an overwhelming smell of blood.
To be precise, I had awakened to the smell and pain.

The first thing I saw upon opening my eyes was bloodstains on the white blanket.
My lower abdomen throbbed as if cut by a knife, so I instinctively thought that something was wrong.

“That must have been scary?”
“...No. I don’t think it was.”
“You were brave. I cried a lot on the first day of my period.”

At that moment, I didn’t feel any fear.
It was probably different from what Elderin thought.

As my body healed, my heart, in contrast, seemed to die.
The pains I had forgotten gradually resurfaced.
What I had lost due to that accident.
Things I could no longer do.

As I endured the pain, I eventually found myself with space to think.
Naturally, negative thoughts began to fill that space.

Every so often, there were people at the hospital who were excessively cheerful.
Even after losing so much, they remained positive.
They would say that all of this was merely a trial, and they would grow even more through this loss.

Those who didn’t know any better would just think, “Oh, they’re managing well,” but my thoughts were slightly different.

It was a sort of defense mechanism.
No one is immune to the pain of loss.
If I didn’t think of it that way, it would simply be a matter of having lost something — I had to find some meaning in it.

In my case, I couldn’t even have that much of a defense mechanism.
I couldn’t even hold onto the belief that I would overcome it someday.

When the nurse arrived at my call.
I squeezed out whatever strength I had left to ask a question.
I still vividly remember the trembling hands.

 

Upon hearing the nurse’s words, I felt disappointed.
I had hoped it was a terminal illness instead.
If my body was so damaged that I couldn’t do anything about it, my mind would have been at ease.

When I left the hospital, I would be alone.
My dreams had shattered into pieces and been tossed into the trash, leaving me with nothing I could do.
From now on, I would have to endure a long life by myself.

I thought it would surely be a painful path.
If that were the case… I even thought it might be better to just die.
I had considered that for quite a while.

If it were an unstoppable death, then it couldn’t be helped.
If I was weak… it wouldn’t be a waste to give up the life my parents had worked so hard to save.
I wouldn’t have to continue living a painful life.

Well, that’s all in the past now.
If I had truly died back then, I wouldn’t be who I am now.
I no longer needed to envy others to overcome my sadness, either.

Let’s leave the somber memories here.
At that moment, Elderin spoke gently.

“If you’re in pain, you have to tell me.”
“Yes…”

Her long fingers pressed gently on my lower abdomen.
It wasn’t a forceful pressure like the massage I had received before.

Just very softly.
Just enough to feel a subtle stimulation.
She began to erase the pain from the most sensitive areas.

It wasn’t that I felt pain, per se.
Every time my uterus was pressed, my body instinctively twitched.

What is this, why is it like this...?
I had to suppress the urge to squirm and rub my thighs together.
I could hear Elderin giggling softly.

“Did I press too hard?”
“No. It was fine. Ugh… it’s just that it’s a sensitive area.”
“I’ve noticed that you’ve been sensitive in various areas since you were little. Are you just a particularly sensitive person?”
“If you say it like that, I get embarrassed.”

My body isn’t overly sensitive.
It’s just that my senses are a bit heightened.

After receiving the massage, it was slowly getting close to sunset.
The view of the setting sun outside the window.
It was a perfect scene to just sit and stare at while lounging on the sofa.

“But you know, sister, you have a lot of skills. Where did you learn something like uterine massage…?”
“My sister has suffered a lot from her period, you know. It’s too much. She was already a sickly kid, and it broke my heart to see her in pain. I wanted to do something to help.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked something unnecessary.”
“It’s fine. I’ve overcome a lot by now. You, Daeun, are especially okay.”

It seemed today that Elderin was enjoying her role as an older sister.
After pressing my lower abdomen a few times, she made me a light cup of herbal tea.
I had originally wanted coffee, but I stopped because alcohol and caffeine are bad during menstruation.

If I had suggested drinking, I might have gotten scolded.
I was slightly tempted, though.

Now I was lying down while she cleaned my ears.
I could hear the pleasant sounds of her gentle movements.
It felt refreshing, as if she were gently scratching an itch in my ear.

“By the way, have you noticed your expression has improved a lot?”
“Did I?”
“Yes. Your voice has brightened up too. You look good.”

That might indeed be true.
As my environment changed, I hadn’t felt the sticky malice like before.
I was getting along quite well with my teammates.

Surprisingly, Hekate had also been closing the distance with me.
Though she still seemed a bit uncomfortable in terms of gameplay, her personality was inherently friendly.
You could say she had a high level of basic sociability.

“Is being a pro gamer fun?”
“It is. It was my dream.”
“Right. I’m really glad it worked out. But I wish you would still do broadcasts with me occasionally. Even if you become famous, you won’t forget your sister, right?”
“I absolutely won’t forget the help I received.”

I’m not that ungrateful.
Elderin had helped me during my hardest times.
I was honestly touched when she rushed over after my call.

Even if I become more famous and my life improves, that fact won’t change.

“Okay, let’s do the other side now. Do you want to roll over?”
As she spoke, the pleasant sensation returned on the other ear.
Thinking about it, I realized that I hadn’t had the opportunity to relax like this in a long time.

Since the accident, I had always fallen asleep exhausted, and after becoming a pro, it felt more like recovering my strength than truly resting.
Even when I went to the villa a while back, I had been so tired that I practically collapsed.

I had been running without rest up to this point.

I tend to be impatient and have low self-esteem.
If I stay still, I feel like I’m rotting, making it hard to endure.
But… maybe it’s okay to just do this for a day.

As I slightly closed my eyes, I suddenly felt a soft breath in my ear.

“Uheueheuh…?”
“Wow, your reaction is incredible. Are you sensitive in your ears too?”
“Well, if you touch like that, anyone would feel it. Hmph.”
“I don’t think that’s the case.”

Anyway, the ear cleaning was finished.
After having a light meal of porridge for lunch, I felt hungry again soon.
To change the subject, I picked a dinner menu and stayed until late at night before heading back.

A few days later.
The third strong team in the Korean league, Galaxy Gaming, clashed with ACL.

It was understandable that Sigma’s power was unparalleled.
So what about the strength between the two teams?
—It was a match that would answer that question.

In the spring league, the match had ended with ACL’s victory.
At that time, the power difference between the two teams was literally a sheet of paper.
And in this spring league, Galaxy Gaming had made some extremely successful acquisitions.

With the match result, the commentators raised their voices excitedly.

《 Both teams have been consistently getting stronger lately. There were inflated expectations during the ongoing growth process. 》
《 Today’s match seemed to fulfill those expectations abundantly. Both teams showcased great performances even amidst fierce competition. 》
《 What tipped the scales was definitely Galaxy Gaming’s teamwork. Especially the synergy between Azure and Crimson. The bond between sisters was impressive. 》

Galaxy Gaming emerged victorious over ACL with a score of 2:0.
They were Sigma’s next opponents.

Write comment...
Settings
Themes
Font Size
18
Line Height
1.3
Indent between paragraphs
19
Chapters
Loading...