Martial Arts Returnee’s Game Broadcast
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Chapter 1 Table of contents

1.

Do not recklessly run a strange game if it gets installed on your computer.

Especially if the game is a martial arts game, you might witness a dementia-stricken grandmaster snapping people’s necks like reeds or a villain who uses footwork to cover 3 meters in one step, wreaking havoc.

Of course, humans are curious creatures.

If you’ve already ignored the kind warning and started the game, you cannot avoid getting possessed by the martial arts world.

However, it’s not too late.

Do not create a female character during customization. Instead, make a male character who is 9 cheok tall and weighs 300 geun. Just by being big, you’ll have a promising future where factions like the Nine Great Schools, Five Families, or the Demon Sect will desperately want to recruit you.

Don’t make the mistake I did of getting excited and creating a sexy female character in a hurry.

Becoming your own ideal type is more terrifying and miserable than you can imagine.

Next comes the allocation of your stats.

If your physique is lacking, your body won’t endure martial arts training. If your intelligence is low, you won’t be able to memorize secret techniques, and without talent, you won’t grasp enlightenment.

However, lacking charm won’t cause any major problems.

Please don’t make the mistake I did of maxing out charm and pouring the rest of my free points into talent.

The martial arts world is a savage medieval setting, and a charming but powerless beauty’s life is truly tragic.

Next is the characteristic of the game known as Blessings.

With my brain already having relocated to my lower half, I only picked blessings like [Perverted Physics], [Permanent Hair Removal], and [Flawless].

I hope you don’t make the same mistake.

There are many valuable blessings sought after by martial artists, such as [Heavenly Martial Body], [Immune to All Poisons], and [Diamond Indestructibility].

That said, don’t pick blessings like [Fortuitous Encounter: Cliff] or [Fortuitous Encounter: Undersea Cave] thinking you’ll get lucky.

People often die of starvation after failing to master martial arts before their starvation pills run out, trapped on a cliff or in a cave.

Please consider the feelings of the hardened wanderers of Jianghu who come across your corpse.

Now, let me give you advice on Taboos, which give additional points for acquiring blessings.

Taboos set restrictions or rules on your behavior within the martial arts world through powerful psychological chains.

Even though it’s forced, something like [Feminine Walk] or [Polite Speech] isn’t too bad.

But if you choose something like [Addiction: Smoking], that’s when things get crazy.

You’ll start to lose concentration, your hands and feet will shake, and you won’t be able to live a normal life unless you smoke at least once a day.

But true hell awaits beyond that.

If you carelessly pick [Permanent Tattoo: Lower Abdomen], you’ll open the gates of hell.

The uterine tattoo will glow purple whenever you channel your internal energy, no matter how many times you cut it out.

It’s impossible to hide it with cheap clothes, and even thick clothes won’t fully cover the glow, forcing you to wrap yourself in layers even during summer to avoid being treated like a witch or prostitute.

I trust you understand the struggle of having to wear thick clothes even in the summer.

If you go even further and choose a tragic concept like [Nine Yin Severed Veins], one of the highest classes of vein disorders, I recommend swift suicide.

The yin energy that overflows through all your blood vessels causes arteriosclerosis and makes your body lose its elasticity over time.

More importantly, the stronger you become in martial arts, the more powerful the yin energy becomes, leading you to an unavoidable early death.

Many senior possessors, including myself, have made the mistake of choosing a flawed concept, but I hope you don’t follow in our footsteps.

Finally, the most important choice is Difficulty Level.

If you pick an easy difficulty, the martial artists’ attack power won’t be reduced by 50%, nor will item drop rates increase. Instead, the objectives required for completion will be easier.

However, the problem with easy difficulty lies in the rewards.

To select the [Return to Reality] option as a reward, you must complete the normal [Average] difficulty, so even if you clear the easy difficulty objectives, you will have to spend the rest of your life in the martial arts world.

I offer my condolences to those who blindly selected [Easy].

At the same time, please don’t overestimate yourself and choose [Extreme] difficulty.

The senior who selected [Extreme] has been fighting with Immortal Lu Dongbin in the Celestial Realm for 200 years since his ascension.

I could hardly hold back my tears listening to the elder tearfully confess that as he grew stronger, so did Lu Dongbin.

If you’ve chosen the difficulty level wisely, you’ve passed most of the hurdles. The next stage is Mode Selection, which will simply require accumulating knowledge.

This section contains modes like [Realistic Mode], [Iron Man Mode], and [Unique Mode], each with its pros and cons.

Those who choose [Realistic Mode] can keep the physical body they created even after clearing the game.

On the other hand, those who do not select this mode will return to their original bodies.

Those dissatisfied with their face, height, or gender might rejoice at this.

I understand the desire for free full-body plastic surgery or sex change surgery, but please postpone selecting realistic mode for now.

There’s no guarantee your body will remain intact by the time you clear the game.

I, for example, spent 12 miserable years without my right arm.

If you don’t earn a lot of clear points and retrieve your lost limbs through the [Physical Reset] reward, or if you don’t ensure you won’t lose your limbs in the first place, you’ll remain disabled even after clearing the game.

If you don’t select Realistic Mode, at least you’ll have the insurance of returning to reality with all your limbs intact, so please keep that in mind.

[Iron Man Mode] is a mode where all system assist tooltips such as the status window, martial arts window, inventory window, and community board functions disappear.

In exchange for losing convenience, they say your growth speed and martial arts comprehension increase, but unless you’re a true Iron Man, I suggest you humbly leave this to the ancient philosopher Plato and enjoy the conveniences of civilization.

No one but a true hardcore player would ever choose this mode.

[Unique Mode] takes it a step further by offering a mode for those who wish for a truly solitary experience.

Unlike the typical possessors with basic multiplayer features, this mode throws you into a genuine Murim world where there are no other possessors.

I understand your grand ambitions of forming your own harem or accomplishing great feats, but please don’t whine on the forums later.

Other possessors enjoy certain benefits like eating the kimchi dumplings developed by their seniors, accessing the reformed sewage system, or receiving financial support from Samsung’s Escort Bureau, but in Unique Mode, there’s none of that.

If you start asking how to make kimchi dumplings from scratch or how to prevent poop from piling up in the streets, know that these are trade secrets to those players.

Since you’re on a different server, no matter what rewards are promised, you won’t be able to receive them, so only those who choose Unique Mode will be stuck in difficulty.

Ah.

Since we’re on the topic of forums, while I understand it’s lonely and hard, please don’t trust your fellow possessors too much. You’ll come to realize why Koreans have earned the notorious reputation of being a nation of scammers worldwide.

There are all kinds of thieves lurking on the forums, from item thieves who steal your belongings after coaxing out your location, to inner energy thieves who practice the Absorption Technique, to maiden thieves and virgin thieves who only target women and virgins.

There are juniors who learned the Virginity Art or Maiden Art, only to have their purity stolen, ruining their lives.

There are even juniors who, after stamping their seal on an escort contract because they were promised a job, found out it was a slave contract, and ended up sold to a dark sect.

I’ve heard these complaints too many times to count.

If you follow all the advice I’ve given about what to avoid and what to do, and if a bit of unexpected talent and luck come your way, you’ll eventually achieve your challenge objectives one day.

Congratulations.

You’re free.

You can escape the world of martial artists, where one can push mountains with a wave of a hand and slice through storms with a single sword.

Before you return to reality, you’ll uncover the many hidden secrets of serendipitous encounters that are rampant in Murim.

Upon achieving your challenge objective, your clear score will be calculated based on your martial arts level, accomplishments, and contributions in the Murim world.

You can then purchase rewards such as transferring your abilities, inner energy, and items to the real world according to that score.

Don’t assume that the eccentric figures left behind their weapons, secret manuals, or elixirs out of the goodness of their hearts.

They simply didn’t have enough clear points to take everything with them, so those things were left behind, becoming the serendipitous encounters you come across.

As for any remaining inner energy that can’t be taken to the real world, just release it into the nearby weeds, fish, mushrooms, or lakes.

Of course, for survivors like me, it’s a shame to let such precious things go for free, so we’ve set up traps.

Unless you’ve mastered martial arts, you won’t be able to escape from places where serendipitous encounters are left behind.

It’s common to find the air slowly leaking out of underground caves or thick iron doors blocking the exit, which is why it’s not surprising that those who choose serendipitous encounters like [Serendipitous Encounter: Cliff] or [Serendipitous Encounter: Undersea Cave] are often found as skeletons.

Still, for people like me, who maxed out charm and invested everything into talent, my serendipitous encounter traps are the only ones worth trying.

I highly recommend purchasing the [Serendipitous Encounter: Taklamakan Desert] trait that I’ve registered in the shop.

Even if you fail to reach enlightenment, you can survive by catching bugs and occasionally have your boredom eased by wandering Jiangshi that stumble into the old sacred site of the Blood Sect.

Now that I’ve shared all these life-saving pieces of advice, I spent a long time contemplating what more I could offer.

It was a tough decision, but I finally came up with something invaluable—character names.

This often overlooked part, character naming, hides two traps.

The first is the fact that your name in the Murim world will change to your character’s name.

You might think it’s fine to just not use that name, but to achieve your challenge objective and clear the game, you must earn a specific reputation using that character name.

If your name happens to be something like ‘Angkimotiorigojirigorettitgo,’ you might be unlucky and receive an objective like “Maintain the reputation of ‘Angkimotiorigojirigorettitgo, The Best Sword in Anhui’ for 100 days.”

If you use an alias even once, the 100-day timer will reset.

Imagine receiving daily challenges for 100 days, with messages like “The title of ‘The Best Sword in Anhui’ belongs to Angkimotiorigojirigorettitgo!” and having to witness arena announcements like “A duel between Anonymous and Angkimotiorigojirigorettitgo will now begin” and “Angkimotiorigojirigorettitgo has won the duel!” every day.

Just imagining the public embarrassment and cringe makes me shudder.

It’s a shame I didn’t hear about senior Angkimoti’s precious lesson before crossing into the Murim world.

As I mentioned earlier, there are two traps.

The second trap comes back like a boomerang after you return to the real world.

This game, ever so kind, offers a Reality Return Support Package where you can spend clear points to get benefits like housing, ID registration, and settlement funds.

It’s nice that they offer these benefits at a discounted rate, but the issue lies in the name on your ID.

Yes, the sharp ones among you probably already figured it out. The name on your ID will be your character’s name.

Please, do not name your character Angkimotiorigojirigorettitgo.

So, what’s my name, you ask?

I’m not going to tell you.

That concludes the precious advice I’m giving you as your senior possessor.

[Special Returnee Haeeung’s Advice: Investigator’s Remarks]

– Haeeung’s original nickname was Haeuung, but since the surname Hae does not exist in the Murim world, he changed it to Haeeung.

– It has been revealed that the name of that dimensional world is Murim Memoirs.

– The danger level of Murim Memoirs is classified as Transcendental, with a survival rate estimated to be below 0.01%.

– Due to the high likelihood of further casualties, a request has been made to restrict access to Haeeung’s advice and these remarks.

[Subsequent Administrative Directive]

– The request to restrict information access has been rejected.

– Based on matching the access records with the list of missing persons, it has been confirmed that a large number of additional dimensional travelers have appeared, prompting the setting of access permissions for this information.

[Special Restricted Information Document]

[Special Returnee Haeeung’s Full Advice]

[Investigator’s Full Remarks]

[Subsequent Administrative Directive]

[This document contains classified information.]

[If this information is leaked, you may be mobilized for up to 20 years as part of the Gate Expeditionary Forces. This is a strict warning.]

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