"I wish I could be there too," Jihon thought, listening to the noise of the washing machine running. However, even with all the desire, it would be impossible to squeeze your body into a drum with a load of 13 kg. Then he wanted to at least pull out his brain and throw it, not only his own, but also Kwon Jaekyung's. And let it all be washed in the "Remove stubborn stains" mode with a huge amount of detergent. And, probably, shameful memories will disappear. The main thing is that Jaekyung does not forget how to swim. So today is quite enough. More precisely, the events of the last hour.

And at the same moment, flashbacks burst into his head. Lying on the sofa, Jihong covered his face with a pillow and let out a mute scream. The more he replayed all these thoughts, the more he went mad. For all the time of his turbulent activity, this has never happened to him. Although there were attempts once. Sometimes he came across those who expressed a desire to see something similar with their own eyes.

Jihon indifferently agreed. And he even drank a lot of water and isotonic drinks in advance. But every time something went wrong. It can be said that at the decisive moment the mind turned on and slowed him down. Because of this, failures became a pattern, and later a suspicion crept into his head that those who succeeded in this must be taking some kind of medication.

But in the end, Jihon still did it, and he was also sober. Although at that ill-fated moment he was no longer fully conscious, but still without any outside interference and not of his own will. Which was wildly shocking.

"Why do I always lose my mind when it comes to Kwon Jaekyung?"

Although it was a matter of just pulling himself together, but he did not succeed. He knew that he would regret and reproach himself later, but he could not resist the moment: "Okay, let it be so, we'll figure it out somehow."

"Whose fault is this? Mine or Kwon Jaekyung's? But if the problem was in me, then it would be the same with others. However, this never happened. Then... Only Jaekyung remains. Yes, it is. It's definitely his fault. He is the source of all my troubles." While Jihong, immersed in self-justification, listened to the creaking of his own gears in his skull, the same malicious criminal opened the bathroom door and walked out as if nothing had happened.

"Hyung, wouldn't it be better to change the mode to drying?" Or shall we buy the dryer separately?

Apparently, he was too lazy to drag the blanket to the roof at such a late hour. When Jihong didn't answer, he jumped on the sofa and didn't hesitate to hug him as if nothing had happened.

"Let me pay?" Or should we just stop laying the sheets? After all, there is a waterproof cover on the mattress, we can do it right on it.

Jihon remained silent. And even at that moment, he could not help but admire (although it was more like regret) his foresight, because of which he pulled on a waterproof cover immediately after buying an expensive mattress.

"It's okay, hyung, if it's nice, then you can pee."

"Hey, that's not the same at all!" Jihon immediately reacted, to which the impudent, having received the attention he required, only smiled.

"I know. This is squirting.

His relaxed smile and perfect pronunciation betrayed the fact that he had lived in Australia for a while. Now Jaekyung turned around and, hugging Jihon from behind, asked in a low voice, "Hyun, was this the first time?"

Instead of answering, Jihong only sighed heavily. He wanted the smart guy to guess for himself, and he seemed to take it as consent. That's why Jaekyung was so happy, covering his neck with kisses. In addition, his restless hands fumbled here and there.

"Sorry, client, but the appointment is over. There will be nothing else today," Jihon said harshly.

"I know," Jaekyung muttered briefly, his fingers penetrating under his clothes, caressing his chest and stomach. This time, however, his touches were not as erratic as usual, but on the contrary, gentle and careful, without a hint of an attempt to arouse. Which was even more confusing.

"Enough already, don't touch it," Jihon laughed. "Even if you get up, I won't raise an eyebrow."

"I'm not asking." I'll handle it myself," Jaekyung objected, pressing his face against the warm skin. He literally buried himself in his neck and shoulder, pressing so hard that Jihong could feel Jaekyong overflowing with love.

"Hyung, I love you so much that I'm ready to die," was what his every move shouted, accurately conveying despair.

Kwon Jaekyung has always been like this. At first, like a bulldozer rushing forward, he did not pay attention to anything. But there always came a moment when he turned into a child, clinging to Jihon, revealing his weaknesses and showing sincerity.

Jihon is especially weak in the face of such manifestations. If he had always behaved persistently and confidently, he could have responded in kind. But when Jaekyung became helpless and vulnerable, Jihong found himself at a dead end.

Maybe that's why...

"Hyung, you really don't want to be my boyfriend?" Jaekyung broke the silence.

To which he laughed, not even having time to click his tongue, as usual.

"Does it matter?"

"Why do you think so?"

Trying to calm the raging grumbler, Jihong began to stroke his hair.

"Judge for yourself. Well, let's call it a relationship, but will anything change? After all, you already do everything that your partners do.

Jihong said this to show that you shouldn't get too hung up on definitions. After all, he is ready to give it everything without official status.

However:

"So, why don't we become a real couple then?" Jaekyung persisted.

—...

"If nothing changes, why do you resist?" Jaekyung didn't back down, genuinely not understanding what the problem was. The innocent, childishly naïve question took Jihon by surprise, but he quickly pulled himself together.

"It's okay now, but it can change in the future," Jihon joked on purpose. "And I'm a person who thinks about the future. Well, that is, you need to rely not only on momentary impulse.

– Are you talking about the time after the Olympics?

"That too, but I mean the more distant future. Life is long, you know," Jihon shrugged.

Jaekyung silently looked at him with a face that instantly became stern: "Hyun, do you think that after the Olympics, we will return to what it was before?" Shall we just become senior and junior? Do you think it will be possible to pretend that there was nothing between us?

Startled by the unexpected question, Jihong stared at him.

Then Jaekyung pulled away and, straightening up, said, "You probably can, but definitely not me.

The words were not an empty sound, but a deep conviction that could be heard in a whispered firm voice. Because of this, Jihon's heart sank.

Jaekyung seemed to warn that if Jihong did not accept his feelings, then their paths would forever diverge.

"You're now... Are you threatening me? A tragic tension erupted from Jihon's throat in shock.

Jaekyung blinked as he looked at him and asked in bewilderment, "Does this sound like a threat?"

… Devil.

And then Jihon realized that he had blurted out stupidity. But he did not manage to get out of it. Jaekyung seized the initiative again, hugging his lover tighter: "So the severance of all ties is a threat to you?" I didn't even say that I wouldn't go to the Olympics. Are you afraid that I won't want to see you again?

Jihong decided not to comment so as not to bury himself even deeper. Usually he easily found objections, smoothed out sharp corners and turned everything into laughter. But this time nothing occurred to him. The thoughts were too confusing, so in the end he just muttered: "Come on, your face now is what is scary.

Jihon shook off the impudent man and escaped from his grasping clutches. Moving to the very edge, he sighed heavily.

"I'm really tired... From the very beginning, I can't concentrate," Jihong explained to himself, trying to balance himself.

But he was suddenly interrupted by Jaekyung, "Thirty meters.

And meeting Jihon's gaze, he smiled, leaning on the back of the sofa: "Although... No, now it's twenty.

"What are you talking about?"

- The remaining distance.

"To what?"

Not immediately realizing what he meant, Jihong suddenly remembered how Jaekyung had once challenged him and burst out: "Hey, stop it, what nonsense! I told you that I was not going to participate. I haven't started yet!

"Then there will be a technical defeat," Jaekyung, throwing one leg over the other, explained: "And if you don't start at all, then due to a no-show. One way or another, the race will take place.

And with such an appearance as if he is absolutely sure of his victory. The old childish nature evaporated, and the cunning, confident and impudent Kwon Jae-kyung appeared in front of Jihon. As if he also mastered acting skills in the meantime. But, in truth, this is not a game. Which is why the situation took the most serious turn. After all, Jaekyung behaved quite normally, and only Jihong rushed from side to side, now freezing with terror, then melting from a huge wave of complex feelings.

From the sudden anxiety that arose, his heart pounded like crazy, sending signals of danger, and Jihon, feeling cornered, abruptly stood up: "Hey, go home!"

"The sheets haven't washed yet.

"I'll figure it out myself, just leave."

But Kwon Jaekyung didn't even think of listening, "Do you think I'm a fool to leave just because you said so? And, clearly mocking the convulsive fluttering of his obstinate lover, he sprawled on the sofa.

"There's no reverse gear in swimming, hyung.

"There's no reverse, but you can turn around!" So come back to yourself!

Jihon tried to lift him by the arm, but he did not move. On the contrary, he looked at Jihon confidently: "The U-turn is part of the way to the finish line. And if you make a turn in a hundred-meter swim, this is a chance for the last push before the final 50 meters.

"Amazingly, does he really secretly attend public speaking courses? He was always told that he had problems with social skills, and now have he memorized all the basics of communication?" "He shut me up again."

Suddenly, a seemingly life-saving signal was heard, announcing the end of the wash.

But someone blocked all escape routes. The same guy who had just not even moved a millimeter when Jihong pushed him out easily jumped up from the couch like a feather and said, "Hyung, do you know? Twenty minutes later, Saturday.

— ...

"The weekend begins.

He smiled, whistling something, and went to the back room. And Jihon looked after him, being in total confusion, and the next moment he collapsed exhausted. He was completely defeated. The way Kwon Jae-kyung did not miss a single phrase of his and immediately answered was amazing, but even more frightening was how every word he threw made Jihon's heart shrink violently, then almost explode from an excess of tension.

Jihong ran his hot palm over his face and muttered in a semi-conscious state, "I'm really going crazy..."