Jiang Yan didn't want to answer this call. Since he was here, no, it should be said that after knowing that he was adopted, he finds it difficult to face Shen Yiqing and he is unwilling to face Shen Yiqing again.
There is no major contradiction between him and that family, but the strict and almost harsh disciplines since childhood, the atmosphere that is so cold and cannot be truly relaxed, plus the hidden nature of Li Baoguo in his body Perhaps because of this, he probably entered the so-called rebellious period from the beginning of elementary school.
He didn't know what the atmosphere was like when he was not at home, but as soon as he entered the door, he could feel irritable, and his subconscious thorns would burst open.
The warmth and relaxation in his home are far less than those of Pan Zhi's parents who spend more than half a week playing mahjong.
Apart from his academic achievements, he probably never had anything to satisfy his parents. The relationship with his parents was like being forced to participate in a war under their command, but he never achieved victory.
Therefore, he has always attached great importance to his grades. No matter how "cloudy" he usually is, he will go all out when facing the test. This is his only stronghold in the "war" of more than ten years.
But the last outbreak of the dispute broke his last trace of emotion with that family.
Before, he always thought that Dad ... Jiang Wei's pneumonia hospitalization had nothing to do with him, but it happened after the dispute that they almost fought, and the content of the dispute was nothing more than an absenteeism. It all boils down to his own anger.
Now think about it, maybe it's not completely irrelevant.
Maybe it's because of a long period of depression. Adopted children have never been integrated into the family. They always resist under the education of them like bombs. It will be exhausting.
Jiang Yan took the mobile phone with the black screen on the bedside and was silent.
If he didn't know he wasn't born, if he didn't return here, he might continue to struggle in that home with fearlessness as before, and continue to resist fiercely.
But now it seems that I have finally escaped from a story. When I look back on the side, whether it is my own behavior or the behavior of everyone in the family, there seems to be an answer.
The phone rang again, still Shen Yiqing.
Jiang Yan looked at the phone for a while, swiped his finger on the screen, and answered the phone: "Hey?"
"Is it Xiaoyan?" There was Shen Yiqing's voice over there.
"Yes." Jiang Yan answered.
Gu Fei got up and walked out of the bedroom, closing the bedroom door gently.
Jiang Yan leaned on the back of the chair. In fact, he counted the time and didn't have a long time to contact him.
He suddenly felt a little stunned, wanting to be intimate, and after ten years without success, he wanted to become more strange, but it was so simple.
"How are you doing?" Shen Yiqing asked.
"Very good," Jiang Yan answered.
"So ... what about Li Baoguo?" Shen Yiqing asked again.
Jiang Yan twisted his eyebrows. He didn't want Shen Yiqing to know about it. He was afraid to be asked again, what happened, why, and then ...
Without waiting for Jiang Yan's answer, Shen Yiqing said again, "Did he ... commit suicide?"
"Um." Jiang Yan answered.
"What's going on?" Shen Yiqing could imagine her frowning in her voice.
"I don't know," Jiang Yan closed his eyes, "he has lung cancer and has no money to cure."
Shen Yiqing was silent for a while before he said again: "Is it related to you?"
"What?" Jiang Yan said.
"He committed suicide, has nothing to do with you?" Shen Yiqing asked.
"I fuck?" Jiang Yan was shocked.
From the receiver, Shen Yiqing sighed with dissatisfaction with his bad words: "You tell me the truth, although you are no longer in this house, but ..."
"What's the truth I'm telling?" Jiang Yan felt like he had memorized the book for a whole night and now he was a bit unconscious, and Shen Yiqing couldn't think of logic anyway. "What's the truth? What truth do you want to hear ? "
"Little sister," Shen Yiqing said, "your brother called me."
"Who is my brother?" Jiang Yan snarled, and the confusion that understood everything and couldn't figure out anything made him feel instantly wanting to blow it up.
"Calm down!" Shen Yiqing also raised his voice. "I don't want to hear your hysterical roar again!"
Li Hui called Shen Yiqing, which is not surprising.
What Li Hui and Shen Yiqing said, I don't know, it's not surprising to say anything.
No matter what Li Hui said, Shen Yiqing didn't believe it.
But the reason that Jiang Yan suddenly broke out was that Shen Yiqing didn't believe him.
She just called for verification.
Why did Li Baoguo commit suicide less than a year later?
Why did Li Hui call and say ...
"Okay, I'm calm." Jiang Yan took a deep breath and touched his body. No smoke, he got up and opened the bedroom door.
Gu Fei was standing by the window of the living room and watching the moon. He heard the door ring and turned his head.
Jiang Yan walked over, found out the cigarette case from his pocket, took a cigarette and held it, Gu Fei took out a lighter and helped him light the cigarette.
"Can you tell me what Li Hui said first?" Jiang Yan turned back to the bedroom and closed the door.
"You ..." Shen Yiqing should have heard the sound of a lighter and heard what he said while smoking a cigarette.
"I smoke," Jiang Yan said, "I'm sorry, I can't help it now."
Sorry.
This is probably what he said most at home before, and every time "occupy the highlands" fails, he will release this sentence first.
It ’s been a long time and many times. I ’m sorry the three words sometimes bring an angry atmosphere in his heart, just as he was screaming at Gu Fei as if venting a string of excuses, like now He will say sorry to Shen Yiqing with irritability.
I'm sorry on some occasions, it became the way he expressed his emotions.
Somewhat ridiculous.
"Li Hui said you took 30,000 yuan from Li Baoguo," Shen Yiqing said without turning around again. "Is Li Baoguo's life-saving money real?"
Although Jiang Yan could almost guess what Li Hui said, it was nothing more than money, money, money, but suddenly he felt Shen Yiqing say so, and he felt a block in his heart.
There was a buzz in his head and his chest was dull, making him suddenly want to laugh.
After receiving some nausea, the strong feeling of vomiting made him quickly pick up the cup on the table and sip a few sips of cold water.
"It's not that you haven't had contact with Li Baoguo," Jiang Yan took a breath and controlled his emotions. "When you adopted me, when you retired me, you should be clear about who you are."
Shen Yiqing didn't speak.
"Did he not say 30,000 yuan, could he put the money where I can get it?" Jiang Yan smoked two cigarettes, "Even if you don't know what kind of person he is, you can support him. After 17 years, a dog should know when it will bite, and when it will wag its tail! "
"Xiaoyu," Shen Yiqing sighed, "I know I ask like this, and you are not comfortable, but you have to ask something clearly before I can judge where I want to stand."
"I haven't touched his money. It didn't matter that he committed suicide. I gave it when he was sick. When he died, Li Hui asked me for money, and I gave it too." Jiang Yan said.
When he said this, he was suddenly aggrieved, and his nose was a little sore.
Facing this woman whose mother he had called for seventeen years, he needed to explain to her the fact that she thought she should be very clear.
Although Shen Yiqing was such a person, at this moment, Jiang Yan was again deeply disappointed.
Or he was too naive. He naively and wishfully thought that more than a decade of "mother and child" affection would still exist, and that the mother had to "stand in a certain position" and did not need any truth or truth. Choose Believing in your child is like a conditioned reflex.
But between Shen Yiqing and him, there was no such conditioned reflex. Shen Yiqing intelligently needed a "fact" in order to decide which side to stand on.
Jiang Yan is understandable, but hard to accept.
It took him a long time to forcibly stop thinking about the tangles about the past ten years, and he was turned up again.
"Xiaoying, in fact, although you ... but I still think you can't move his money," Shen Yiqing said, "It's just that Li Hui is so honest and even crying, so I will ask you first."
"It's okay," Jiang Yan smiled. "You don't know much about us here. If you two are face to face, he might give you a clean watch."
"Where do you live now? Have you moved out?" Shen Yiqing asked.
"Rented the house myself," Jiang Yan replied.
Shen Yiqing sighed softly and remained silent for a long time. Jiang Yan felt that he had guessed what she wanted to say and hesitated. After all, this was the only person in his mind who could relate to the word "mother" He still knew it.
"I'm fine now," he pressed the cigarette **** into the ashtray. "I ... just here."
"You alone ..." Shen Yiqing said hesitantly.
Jiang Yan interrupted her: "I'm not alone."
I am a dog.
He worked very hard to control himself before he could say the latter sentence.
But suddenly I wanted to laugh.
Then he laughed.
"What's ridiculous?" Shen Yiqing over there laughed inexplicably, and his voice was obviously a little unpleasant. "Why are you still so casual about your life?"
"Random?" Jiang Yan smiled. "No, I don't treat my life at random. I know very well what I need and what I don't need."
"Well," Shen Yiqing probably didn't want to talk to him anymore. "If you think so, I don't interfere."
"Thank you," Jiang Yan said.
"I'll ask one last question," Shen Yiqing restored his calmness. "You just said you weren't alone?"
"Well," Jiang Yan glanced at the closed bedroom door. "I'm not alone now."
I am a dog.
Jiang Yan didn't know what was happening to him, and his brain seemed to be filled with glue, strangling the stalk.
Although very annoyed, he still wanted to laugh. He wanted to laugh very much. He had to bite his lip and control himself not to laugh again like taking the wrong medicine.
"Did you have a girlfriend?" Shen Yiqing asked.
girlfriend.
Early love.
These Shen Yiqing had never explicitly mentioned the prohibition to him, but her attitude can be seen from Shen Yiqing's appraisal of Pan Zhi, who has always been in "early love".
Jiang Yan stood up, walked to the bedroom window, and looked at the loneliness that had been forgotten outside. Now he began to bring a slightly autumn night scene, and suddenly there was an urge to shake off all the restraints on his body.
Although he didn't even know what the restraint was, he still wanted to yell, to tear off his clothes, to jump out, and just to be empty.
"No," he looked at the particularly round moon tonight, closed his eyes and took a breath. "I made a boyfriend."
What kind of reaction Shen Yiqing was there, he didn't want to hear clearly, he just felt in his mind, in his body, in the crisscrossed shadows that the outside became dark because of the bright moonlight. Howling wind.
Blowing him all refreshed.
"Thank you for raising me for so many years and taking so much thought," Jiang Yan closed his eyes, "but I did not bring you any joy, I am very sorry, but there is no way to remedy it, so many things these years I ca n’t make up for it. Sorry, I do n’t need to worry about me anymore. I will be fine. No matter where I am, I have a way to prove myself. ”
Shen Yiqing was talking about something, he couldn't hear it when the wind was too strong.
"Changing a mobile phone number, I really don't want you to be harassed by that kind of rogue, and don't tell me the number," Jiang Yan said, "Also, this time, I hope you can trust me, I really Can live well. "
When the bedroom door was open, Gu Fei was preparing to light a cigarette. He had been teleported back and forth between the bedroom door and the window at the speed of light seven or eight times.
Every time I thought that Jiang Yan was about to come out, he quickly returned to the window and pretended to light a cigarette calmly. When he didn't move, he listened again, and then went back to the window to pretend to light a cigarette.
But this time he really wanted to light a cigarette and Jiang Yan finally came out.
Also holding the insulation pot with chicken wings.
"Did you finish the call?" Gu Fei put the cigarette and lighter on the side table.
"Well," Jiang Yan nodded. "I just forgot to put the lid on. It seems a bit cold. Is it hot?"
"Give me," Gu Fei took the thermos, "the pot will be hot."
Jiang Yan followed him into the kitchen and leaned against the wall to watch him busy.
He took a small pot and washed it at the sink, then poured the chicken wings into it, put it on the stove and warmed it, and Jiang Yan leaned against the wall and said nothing.
He didn't ask, the reason why Shen Yiqing would make this call is very clear, because Li Hui made a phone call in the past, no one in this conversation would have a good mood.
"From today." Jiang Yan said suddenly, his voice was quiet.
"Ah." Gu Fei turned his head.
Jiang Yan's whole state is very serious, looking at his face as if he had made a major decision.
"I go to bed an hour late every day," Jiang Yan said.
"Ah?" Gu Fei didn't respond. "What do you do for an hour late?"
"Review." Jiang Yan said.
"... Oh!" Gu Fei never expected that what Jiang Yan was going to say was such a big decision, and he didn't know how to respond immediately, "Oh!"
"You also go to bed later and help me with my back. It's all right until 1 o'clock," Jiang Yan said.
"OK." Gu Fei nodded.
"Tough work," Jiang Yan patted his shoulder. "Little Gu."
Gu Fei quickly reached out and touched his forehead without fever.
"What's wrong, Gu?" Jiang Yan asked.
"... Nothing small Jiang," said Gu Fei, "the chicken wings will heat up right away, can you drink a bottle of milk later?"
"Okay." Jiang Yan nodded and turned back to the bedroom.
Then Gu Fei heard Jiang Yan's particularly happy laugh in the bedroom.
He hesitated, turned off the fire, and went into the bedroom.
Jiang Yan was lying in bed and couldn't stop laughing.
"Are you okay, Xiao Jiang?" Gu Fei knelt on the bed with one leg and touched his face.
"It's okay, I don't know what's wrong," Jiang Yan looked at him with a smile. "I suddenly wanted to laugh. I didn't hold back when I called, I wanted to laugh."
"If you want to laugh, just laugh," Gu Fei squeezed his chin, "please review after laughing."
"Um." Jiang Yan nodded.
I was able to smile again for a minute, Jiang Yan suddenly stopped smiling, frowned and sat up. Before Gu Fei talked, he jumped out of bed again and ran out without wearing shoes.
"What's wrong?" Gu Fei shouted.
"Spit!" Jiang Yan ran into the toilet.
When Gu Fei followed the toilet, Jiang Yan had bent over to prop up the wall, and vomited into the toilet.
He hurried back to the bedroom and took Jiang Yan's cup over, twisted the towel and waited.
"I fuck," Jiang Yan vomited for several minutes before coming over. "What the **** am I doing?"
"I don't know," Gu Fei said it was okay to listen to him, and handed the towel over. "To put on TV, you should have a stuffy chest, black eyes, and then a spit of old blood, but you Now that I am malnourished, I can only spit it out. "
"Your uncle," Jiang Yan rejoiced in the toilet, then sighed, "Oh-"
"Brother," Gu Fei looked at him, "I'm a little worried."
"A bit?" Jiang Yan pressed the toilet flush and turned his head to look at him.
"I am very worried." Gu Fei changed his mind immediately.
"I'm fine," Jiang Yan lay on the washbasin, turned the faucet, and pounced on his face with water. "I'm just angry, I'm really angry, but I didn't hold my breath, and I got through the seven sutras and pulses myself . "
"Did Li Hui call and say you took Li Baoguo money?" Gu Fei asked.
"Well, because I took Li Baoguo's life-saving money, Li Baoguo jumped off the building and committed suicide," Jiang Yan said, rinsing his mouth, "Gu Fei, do you know where Li Hui lives?"
"Going to find him?" Gu Fei hesitated.
"Well, find him," Jiang Yan said, "I want to clear all obstacles."
"What obstacles?" Gu Fei asked.
"The obstacles that have affected my review." Jiang Yan glanced at him.
"... Oh!" Gu Fei was speechless again and nodded strongly.
Gu Fei always felt that Jiang Yan was calm, but his mood was still a bit unstable.
Even if he answered all of the questions in his back with amazing memory, he was still not normal. For example, at midnight, let Gu Fei take him to Li Hui's house to recognize the door.
"Don't you say it's not far away? It's all on the site of your steel mill." Jiang Yan said.
"Well," Gu Fei said, and took Jiang Jian's coat from the cabinet and handed it to him. "Put on, it's cold now."
"You also wear one," Jiang Yan said.
"Okay." Gu Fei took one more out, and the two put on their jackets and went out.
At this moment, the wind in the evening was able to penetrate two clothes and hit people. As soon as they went out, they both pulled the jacket subconsciously.
There are no pedestrians or cars on the street anymore. Walking along the street lights that are on and off, there is a feeling of loneliness in the parallel space.
Li Hui's home is in front, in the few low-rise buildings on the edge of the steel mill.
"That's it," Gu Fei stopped, pointing, "The one with the 7 written on it."
"Um." Jiang Yan also stopped and looked over there.
The wind was slightly anxious, Gu flew back to him and leaned against his arm.
"Actually, I just want to check it out," Jiang Yan said softly. "I don't want to get in trouble with Li Hui, don't want to warn him, don't want to scold him, and don't want to hit him. He doesn't deserve it, but I just want to come and see for myself. Clear obstacles. "
"Um." Gu Fei answered.
"It's such a person," Jiang Yan said. "That's it. I won't be affected by these people anymore. From now on, I can't be disturbed."
"Um." Gu Fei rubbed his back.
"After all, I'm going to invite you to eat 800 pieces of flour and add 200 pieces of meat," Jiang Yan said, "I want to be full of heart."
"You definitely can." Gu Fei smiled.
When I wanted to ask Jiang Yan to take a walk elsewhere to relax his mind, a shout came from the 7th building, with a man's yelling and a woman's screaming, and the voice-activated lights in the corridor of the next building All shouted.
Jiang was awkward, and wanted to take a two-step look over there. Gu Fei pulled Jiang Ai into the shadow with his keen "steel mill radar".
Just standing, I saw a man rushing out of the 7 buildings over there.
Was white.
A naked man.
Wrapped in the wind, he yelled in tears and rushed out.
"Li Hui." Gu Fei said.
Jiang Yan frowned and said nothing.
Several people followed Li Hui, all wearing clothes.
Several people still had guys in their hands. In addition to sticks, Jiang Yan also saw a flashing metal light, perhaps an iron rod or a knife.
Li Hui had nothing else in her body except those parts brought out from her mother's womb. She ran for a few steps, and was knocked to the ground by a fully dressed person.
Then it was drowned.
"I'm calling the police! I'm calling the police!" A woman screamed and ran out of the corridor with only a pair of underwear and a vest on her body.
The group of people surrounding Li Hui didn't seem to hear her. They raised their hands and fell down fiercely.
"Let's go," Jiang Yan turned his head away. This style of play was to run out of life, "go for a while."
"Um." Gu Fei answered.
I went out a long way down the other road, and the sound of confusion disappeared behind me. Jiang Yan raised his head and took a breath, and hummed gently: "I want to step on the broken and walk through time ..."
"Don't you just say one sentence?" Gu Fei asked with a smile.
"Fool you," Jiang Yan raised an eyebrow. "I think, you on the left shoulder ..."
Gu Fei quickly moved from the right to his left. Jiang Yan glanced at him and continued with a smile: "Right shoulder ..."
"Smiling on the right shoulder." Gu Fei immediately moved back to the right, followed him and reconciled.