"Are you too busy?" Gu Fei squatting on the side of the road with a cigarette, watching the cars in front of me, "Don't you always go out for a date? Go on a date, stare at me every day What are you doing? "

"Do you think I want to stare at you today?" Li Yan leaned against the tree next to him. "Every day and a half will die, staring at you will die."

"Then you get off," Gu Fei said.

"Do you want to check it on your WeChat?" Li Yan looked down at the phone. "Jiang Ye leaves a comment for you every other day, right in your picture ..."

"Don't mention him." Gu Fei took a hard breath.

"Leave a little sun underneath, but I haven't stayed in these days." Li Yan quickly finished his speech.

Gu Fei stood up and turned to stare at him.

"I said, you dare to deal with me and we will break up." Li Yan pointed at him.

"I said that, too," Gu Fei went to him, staring at him face to face, "Don't face Jiang Yan before me."

"I ended up asking a question. After asking this question, I will never mention him again." Li Yan said.

Gu Fei stared at him silently.

"Why? Even if you want to break up, you have to choose a mode of relaxation? And I always think that if you two have to let go, it should be him," Li Yan said, "Why do you let go? Jiang Yan is fine A person."

"This is one?" Gu Fei looked at him.

"Then you can pick an answer." Li Yan snorted.

"So I have to drag a good person?" Gu Fei said.

Li Yan looked at him, and didn't speak for a long time. Finally, he looked down and pulled on the mobile phone: "How come Liu Fan hasn't been here for so long!"

These people haven't gotten together for a long time, and they usually don't have any serious business, but they have to get together for a meal for an appointment.

When Liu Fan drove over in his broken car, he had gathered all the people and squeezed a car.

"I'm walking." Gu flew into the car and turned around and wanted to leave. Every time six people squeezed into the car, he felt the car was broken.

"Come up!" Liu Fan poked his head out of the window. "You're the uncle! I left you a co-driver!"

Li Yan pulled him and shoved him into the co-driver, then squeezed himself into the back seat: "Fuck is me thin!"

"You crowdfunding will buy me a car," Liu Fan drove, "should not have to pick up and drop off a second time and complain."

"Just remove the back seat and put a few benches," said Chen Jie, "we crowdfunded to buy you a bench. There is no problem."

"Get out of here, next time you walk on your own." Liu Fan said.

Gu Fei hasn't said a word, looking over the window, listening to a bunch of people pulling eggs.

Get together with friends, eat and drink, pull eggs, do some work, and live a day to day life without hesitation, this kind of life he is very skilled.

But the feeling of faintness in my heart couldn't be diminished by returning to his trajectory, anyway, it became more and more astringent.

Bored, depressed, and out of breath.

There is no way to ease it.

These pains that made him restless for a while kept pressing down and recurring.

"How's that?" Liu Fan asked, turning his head.

"Huh?" Gu Fei answered.

"Li Yan said that he would not eat Sichuan food, how about going to a big bone hot pot?" Liu Fan said.

"OK." Gu Fei said.

"Then go to the house in front, get closer, no one can check the way to drink some wine." Liu Fan said.

"You want a drink and drive." Gu Fei casually said.

Liu Fan glanced at him and said nothing.

Gu Fei continued to look out the window.

How many marks and memories does Jiang Yan leave in his mind? Many things he will remember when he closes his eyes, and he ca n’t stop opening his eyes. How long does it take for him to start over, or is there any May adapt.

In the past, he felt that nothing was unbearable. As long as he was willing to bear it, everything could be forgotten. Now he found that the thing of emotion is beyond the five elements.

Breaking up the two words is not the end, but the beginning.

From now on, every day when I open my eyes, my first breath is painful.

Every hour, every minute and every second, it seems like a fire is burning in my heart. The burnt pain is new.

"Can't you tell someone to ask for leave this weekend," Zhao Ke said, sitting at the table, turning his head. "How can you still have class if you can't speak?"

Jiang Yan pointed to the notebook in front of him. Above he had done most of the PPT. This weekend he arranged for two children to make up politics. Being a PPT can almost make the content clear.

Zhao Ke looked at him and sighed. After a while, he dragged his chair and sat next to him: "Let's go."

Jiang froze.

"The first two days of fainting or not being hospitalized is okay. Don't stand up for the supplementary classes. I will go for these classes this week," Zhao Ke said.

Jiang Yan sighed with a smile.

"What's wrong, I don't score much lower than you," Zhao Ke said. "It's okay to make two classes temporarily."

Jiang Yan shook his head and was about to take the exam. Everyone was fighting against each other. At this time, it was unreasonable to let Zhao Ke spend so much time to take classes for him.

He didn't want to, even if time was not tight.

Now he couldn't stop, he had to maintain his original rhythm, no matter how fast the original rhythm was and how much pressure he had to keep.

Once some nerves are loosened, he will collapse completely.

This is his unique secret to keep him from falling.

Jiang Yan's secret recipe is not easy to use, and it is not easy to let people know.

However, the spirit of the fortune-taker who was forced to make up for the illness made the parents of both children very moved, because Jiang Yan claimed to be inflamed and angry, so his throat was dumb, so he harvested a pile of medicine and two small red envelopes, and got a day Paid holidays.

Fuwa's title is not free.

When Jiang Minhuai returned to the dormitory with a red envelope, he felt that he was still awesome.

People in the dormitory should be in the library at this time. Jiang Yan took his mobile phone as he walked to the dormitory and wanted to send a message to Zhao Ke to ask if there were any seats. As soon as he entered the dormitory, he saw Zhao Ke sitting in the dormitory and reading.

He turned his head when he heard the sound of opening the door, Jiang Yan tilted his head and made a questioning expression.

"How? Smooth?" Zhao Ke asked.

Jiang Yan nodded, pulled out a red envelope and shook him.

"Yo," Zhao Ke laughed, "is this condolences?"

Jiang Yan nodded, put it down and used it on the phone.

-Didn't go to the library?

"Did not go," said Zhao Ke, paused and turned to look at him again, "Jiang Xuan, I generally don't care about other people's gossip, but ..."

Jiang Yan leaned on the bed and looked at him.

"I have a better relationship with you at school," Zhao Ke said. "You are like this ... I'm a little worried. If you don't mind, tell me why? I won't ask any more."

Jiang Yan smiled.

Gu Fei has always felt that he is a very capable person, and now he finds that he is equally capable, and he does not know whether he was infected by Gu Fei or inspired by hidden skills.

Gu Fei contacted him with Li Yan's phone that day, and it's been a week now, and he hasn't mentioned it to anyone.

In fact, he could say that there were almost no people at all. Pan Zhi could say, but Pan Zhi was not optimistic about the two of them, and now he is not willing to let Pan Zhi know.

He wasn't afraid that Pan Zhi would tell Gu Fei an impulse. He just didn't want Pan Zhi to worry. His grandson was particularly concerned about his affairs.

If you don't tell Pan Zhi, probably only Zhao Keke said.

Zhao Ke is his classmate with the best relationship in school, but he didn't know everything about him and Gu Fei, this relationship is actually very suitable for talking.

He kept mumbling and didn't say it, because it was just a word of abyss.

Jiang Yan picked up his phone and pressed a few words on the notepad.

-I can't abuse your single dog in the future

Zhao Ke came to look at the line on the screen, and was a bit surprised, and quickly glanced at him: "Why so sudden? Wasn't it good before?"

-One or two sentences are unclear

"Did he mention ... broke up?" Zhao Ke was probably incomprehensible.

Jiang Yan didn't move for a long time, but nodded after a while.

"Why?" Zhao Ke frowned. "I really think your relationship should be good. Why would anyone suddenly give up in this situation?"

It was very sudden and suddenly people had to understand deeply what a sunny thunderbolt is through a personal experience.

"Would you like ... Have you tried it," Zhao Ke said with a little effort, "I haven't been in love, I don't know what to do, just, have you tried to save it?"

Jiang Yan shook his head.

"Why?" Zhao Ke asked.

-He gave up not me, nor his feelings, he gave up is himself

In this life, many people may give up many things.

But the most terrible thing is to give up on yourself.

For Jiang Yan, compared to the desperate effort to pay so much for the last empty foot, making him so painful that he could not breathe and had to rely on maintaining the same pace and direction of life to keep moving forward to be slightly forgotten. I closed my eyes and sank into the deepest darkness.

He had insomnia all night, and once he closed his eyes, he heard Gu Fei say, forget it.

Brother, forget it.

forget it.

Don't pull me anymore.

forget it.

There is no more pain and despair than watching someone desperately wanting to release their hands together.

Jiang Yan has no other choice but to keep reminding himself that I can't stop.

He couldn't go back to find Gu Fei, he knew what the current state of Gu Fei was, and he might not even see Gu Fei when he went back.

The steel mill tyrant is much harder on himself than on others, or he can't stand it for so many years.

If he can figure it out, he will not give himself or Jiang Yan any hope.

Jiang Yan did not plan to go back to him.

Going back is just a sentence why.

There's no point.

He can't stop.

For him, nothing has changed, and he is still the same as before. He goes to the library, he goes to prepare for the exam, he reads books on psychology, he goes to tutor to make money.

The only difference is a little bit.

Probably when I was lying in bed at night, I turned on my mobile phone and there was no half an hour of chat time.

That's it.

no big deal.

There are twenty-four hours in a day, and after half an hour, my eyes are closed.

Jiang Yan's throat finally made some sounds after more than half a month, but it didn't sound very beautiful.

"I'm going to look for you. Don't look for any reason to see me. Jangnan," Pan Zhi said with anxiety in the first sentence he said after finally being able to contact him by phone. Hide from me. "

"No," Jiang Yan replied strenuously.

"We have known each other for several years," said Pan Zhi, "really you haven't told me the truth, you must be in trouble, I tell me in the eighth sense ..."

"Six." Jiang Yan said.

"What?" Pan Zhi froze.

"Sixth sense," Jiang Yan said strenuously, "silly."

"Here is my eighth sense here. I have more feelings than others," said Pan Zhi. "I use the ninth sense after I have used the eighth sense. If you do n’t tell me the truth, I still have the tenth. Feeling waiting for you. "

"I don't want to talk." Jiang Yan said.

He really didn't want to talk.

When he couldn't speak, he didn't feel so uncomfortable. He didn't want to talk anyway, so he was so bored that he would feel comfortable.

It's like being quietly sealed in a box, not moving, not wanting, not saying, keeping a closed state.

Makes people feel safe.

"Is it Gu Fei?" Pan Zhi asked.

"Huh?" Jiang Yan's heart jumped.

The name was stuck in his mind every day, like a small bone that could not be swallowed in his throat and could not be vomited. He could not feel it without thinking, but once he felt it, he could not ignore it.

He hasn't heard the word "Gu Fei" for too long.

The moment Pan Zhi uttered these two words was like splitting his mouth on the shell he was trying to wrap, tearing out the wound that had not yet healed.

At this moment he suddenly found that the wound had not changed at all, just like the first second it appeared, so fresh and clear.

"I'll say that you two aren't posting anymore in the circle of friends," Pan Zhi said. "Okay, if you don't say I don't ask, you just say when you are free, I'll invite you to dinner."

"After the exam," Jiang Yan said.

"Well," Pan Zhi sighed. "Don't be upset. I said that first love will hurt, because we are all naive and no one knows how to maintain our relationship."

Jiang Yan gave a cry.

"But this is also the best place. No one knows what the other party needs, but only knows that they are willing to give," Pan Zhi said. "When you are mature, you will never have such feelings again."

Jiang Yan snorted again.

"Think of it," Pan Zhi said, "if there's nothing I can do."

Jiang Yan crawled back to his bed, sat down against the wall, closed his eyes and closed his eyes.

"Then you call me when you get there," Xu Xingzhi said, "It will take me a minute to go downstairs."

"Okay," Jiang Yan said, his voice split.

After reaching the door of Xu Xingzhi's apartment, he called Xu Xingzhi, but Xu Xingzhi did not answer, and hung up.

After a little while he came out of it, and when he saw Jiang Yan, he stunned: "You ... what happened?"

"It's all right," Jiang Yan said.

"Come on, find a place to sit and talk." Xu Xingzhi turned and walked out.

Jiang Yan followed him.

It ’s been a long time since I walked down the street, Jiang Su suddenly felt very uncomfortable, and even felt that there would be signs of abdication when walking.

The eyes didn't know where to look, the ears were all noisy, and they couldn't breathe.

It wasn't until Xu Xingzhi walked around in a small shop that he found a corner by the window and sat down a little, and he took off the scarf around his neck.

In addition to the two of them, there is only one table customer. Now this kind of environment can relax Jiang Yan. He feels like an old man, can't stand a little sound, and can't hold a trace of chaos.

As he was holding the scarf on the window sill next to him, a pile of flowery cushions on the window sill suddenly moved.

"Ah!" Jiang Yan was startled, and shouted with a dumb throat. The broken voice scared up the Huamao Mat, and then he realized that Maomao was actually a cat.

"Aren't you afraid of cats?" Xu Xingzhi put the flower cat on his lap.

"I'm not afraid, I like it very much," Jiang Yan said. "Do you always come here to poke the cat?"

"Well, I can decompress," Xu Xingzhi picked up the cat and put it on the table in front of him. "You feel it."

This cat is very docile and sticky. As soon as Jiang Min's hand touched his head, he lay down with Jiang Min's hand and turned his belly.

Jiang Yan gently touched his belly. The cat was short-haired, and the winter hair was thick and smooth. The gentle feeling filled between the fingers made Jiang Yan relax for a while.

Warm.

He lowered his head and buried his face in the cat's belly, and the cat's paw pressed gently against his ear.

"Actually today I want to ask my sister about it. Have you discussed it with your friends?" Xu Xingzhi's voice was very gentle. "But now ... if you want, you can talk about your affairs."

"What's my problem?" Jiang Yan smiled buried in the cat's stomach, "Is this your professional sensitivity?"

"How long have you been like this?" Xu Xingzhi asked.

"What?" Jiang Yan tilted his head and revealed one eye.

"This ..." Xu Xingzhi looked at him, "anxiety, how long?"

"I'm not anxious," Jiang Yan put his arms on the table and hugged the cat. "I'm as calm as water, and I can fly for another half a month."

Xu Xingzhi smiled and didn't speak, and the waiter who came over ordered the tea with fruit tea.

After taking the tea, he poured a cup and pushed it to Jiang Yan.

When the warm temperature came from his fingers, Jiang Yan suddenly felt that his nose was sore.

He quickly held the cup.

"You give me a consultation." He whispered after a while.

"Did you encounter something that bothers you?" Xu Xingzhi asked.

"I'm going to take an exam next week," Jiang Yan said, "but I can't read books now, I can't concentrate when I review, I can't sleep at night, I've been having insomnia, I can sleep for a little while soon after dawn do not want to talk……"

His throat was a little uncomfortable and he was struggling to speak. Jiang Yan coughed twice: "I don't want to talk, I don't want to eat, and I don't want to move."

"When did it start?" Xu Xingzhi asked again.

"From ..." Jiang Yan held the cup tightly, shaking his hands a little, and then he whispered, "The day I fell in love."

"Really." Xu Xing's voice was slightly surprised.

"I'm lost in love," Jiang Yan said.

The moment he said this, he suddenly felt funny.

Broken.

I'm dumped?

I don't know why, this word is very strange to him, he always knew that he broke up with Gu Fei, starting from the second when Gu Fei said "Forget it".

But he never connected himself with the word love.

Now violently speaking like this, he found out that the word "broken love" was so pretentious that he wanted to laugh very much.

"Don't tell him about it this year," Liu Li whispered to his mother in the backyard. "He's not feeling very well recently."

"That ’s why I said I would go by myself. I did n’t talk to him about the college entrance examination last year," Mom said. "I'll go ahead this time. I would go there once a year ago. You think I think more. When I go, I will be at ease, or I will dream of being beaten as soon as he dies. "

Gu Fei knew that they were talking about dad, but after the mother said, he suddenly found that he didn't go to the lake last year.

He never remembered it.

last winter.

He has been with Jiang Yan.

I remember a lot and forgot a lot.

Mom is an unpredictable woman. Gu Fei doesn't know if she will actually go to the lake, maybe she will, maybe she won't. It all depends on her mood.

But Gu Fei decided to go there.

He came to the lake a month or two in advance, and was always forced by his mother to drag him over.

But this season is almost the same, snow, hay.

A lonely road.

Going down the lake, Gu Fei has been walking in it without stopping.

Jiang Yan decided to increase the difficulty again! He decided to increase the difficulty again! Wow--

Oops, it ’s a pity, Fork instructor, do you think he made a mistake this time or failed to reach the technical level?

I think there is still room for improvement in his skills. It seems that he wants to change the way of challenge ... this time to reduce the difficulty or continue ...

Gu Fei paused in a daze, he suddenly reacted to why he kept walking this way, as if there were any goals to go forward.

He turned and stared at the half-height grass by the lake for a long time.

But there is no Jiang Yan here.

Here, talking to a handsome man performing a slingshot, Jiang Yan should never appear again.

This year's grass is very rich, with a large yellow patch, shining golden light in the sun, he can't even find the exact location of Jiang Yan who hit the slingshot.

Can't find it.

Very good, I can't find it very good ...

He was afraid to feel the breath of Jiang Yan. After calling on the phone that day, he hadn't visited the rental house again. He was afraid to see anything related to Jiang Yan.

He was afraid of any message that made him feel that Jiang Yan was disappearing a little bit.

The author has something to say: 继续 Continue tomorrow.