If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
Chapter 85 Table of contents

War is a terrifying thing. It is fearful and also gruesome.

Of course, since Eldrigan came into the world, there had never been a major war.
The Empire had been established, and a long period of peace followed.

However, human greed knows no bounds.
They seek more gold.
They demand more power.

“Is this really necessary?”

Eldrigan sighed softly as he looked at the soldiers lined up before the palace.

“Are you speaking of the war?”

The captain of the knights asked.

“Yes.”
“Of course, Your Highness. The barbarians from the north have eyed the Empire countless times. Many predecessors have fought hard to protect the Empire from their clutches, haven’t they? We must fight for the Empire they protected.”
“That’s not what I meant.”

Eldrigan sighed softly.

“Undoubtedly, many of them will lose their lives.”
“Isn’t sacrificing oneself for the Empire a matter of course?”
“They have families too. They have parents, loved ones, and children.”
“They fight to protect them.”
“…”

To fight to protect.
To kill someone to protect.

Eldrigan thought there could be no more contradictory words.
Yet, he declared war.

With his hand, he declared death upon the barbarians of the north, granting the right to wield swords against them in the name of the Empire’s glory.

The fact tortured Eldrigan beyond words.

Is it impossible for everyone to enjoy peace without the need to fight?
Is the ideal world he imagined just a world stuck in ideals?

“For the glory of the Empire!”

Lined up in formation, the knights raised their swords high into the sky and shouted.
At that moment, when Eldrigan released a small sigh, unheard by anyone, the captain of the knights shouted, “Forward!”

In sync with his voice, the soldiers began to move slowly.
The grand fluttering of the Empire’s flag and the resounding tremor of the ground filled the Capital.

How many of them would return alive?

Eldrigan felt as if there were bloodstains on his hands.

***

On the way back from the territory of Duke Yerchevitz to the Radner estate.

“The Emperor has declared war on the northern kingdom. They say the imperial army is marching.”

Though Lorendel spoke calmly, the implication was clear: it meant an all-out war between the Empire and the northern kingdom.

“So it has come to this.”
“Will we win?”
“We will.”

Of course, the situation in the Empire is only getting more chaotic.

The Capital has been attacked, and there are enemies within the Empire.
The nobles who oppose the Emperor will ally with the Northern Kingdom and continuously harass the Empire.

They must think that this will bring the imperial authority into their hands.

However, the outcome of such alliances between those with the same greed is obvious.
Even if the Empire falls, there will be another war between the Northern Kingdom and the anti-Emperor noble factions.

A war waged between greed and greed is bound to devastate the continent.

“Anyway, let’s return as soon as possible.”

After three days, we were able to return to Radner Mansion.

Ei and Canella, who had nowhere else to go due to the war, fortunately stayed in the territory, so there was no need to wait for them.

“I have brought it back.”

When she took out the herbs, Canella widened her eyes in amazement.

“How did you manage to convince that stubborn dragon?”

Ei also looked dumbfounded.

“It took us months to do that…”
“Anyway, please wait a moment.”

Ei and Canella rushed to the magical research laboratory while I decided to relax my weary body for a while.

Then, Ania suddenly came to mind.

“Lorendel.”
“Yes, My Lord?”
“Can we contact the palace?”
“Yes, certainly.”
“Connect me. I want to hear Ania’s voice.”

Perhaps it was because we had been apart for so long.

I wanted to hear her voice.

***

Ania lay in her room, lost in deep thought ──

– Undoubtedly, many of them will lose their lives.

She faintly heard the conversation between the knight and Eldrigan before the army set out.

War.

For Ania, who had lived for a mere 22 years, war was unfamiliar.

Of course, she had heard and learned about it, but the war Ania had learned about was a history of victory and glory.
The glorious history of driving out the barbarians from the north, the monsters from the south, and founding the Empire.

But the war Ania experienced differed from what she had learned from history books.

Countless people died, and their homes burned to the ground.

If things had gone slightly wrong, Ania could have died too, and the man she loved could have disappeared from the world.

It was truly a terrifying thing.
Only after experiencing it firsthand could Ania understand that fact.

It was horrifying and sent shivers down her spine.

Yet, simultaneously, she felt a sense of pity and heaviness.

The soldiers going to the battlefield probably had loved ones just like her.
They probably didn’t want to go and sacrifice their young lives.

‘If… Edward went to the battlefield.’

Although Ania didn’t get up, she imagined a possible future.

If Edward hadn’t built his company like he did now and become a knight, he would have gone to fight for the Empire.
And maybe he would’ve been one of the many corpses on the field.

What must their loved ones… their lovers or families be feeling?

They probably couldn’t sleep properly due to the anxiety and restlessness of possibly losing their loved ones.

At that moment, Ania’s door burst open.

“Miss!”

It was one of the palace servants.

She held a phone in one hand and a receiver in the other.

“What’s the matter?”
“A call from Lord Radner!”

With a surprised heart, Ania quickly got up and took the receiver handed to her by the servant.

Her hand trembled.
A faint breath could be heard through the receiver.
Ania didn’t know what to say and just listened quietly to the breath.

Just by listening, she knew.
Whose breath it was.

“Edward.”
“Ania.”

A small laughter came through the receiver.
Ania also chuckled softly upon hearing that laughter.

Then, her anxious heart calmed down.

She wanted to see Edward as soon as possible.
She wanted to meet him, hug him, and smell him.
She wanted to hold his hand and stroll through the garden.
She wanted to talk until late into the night.

“I miss you, Edward.”
“I miss you too… a lot.”
“I want to go back right now.”

Without waiting for a response, Ania hesitated.

Then Edward chuckled.

“Not yet. It’s still dangerous. Just wait a little longer. I’ll come to get you.”
“Yeah. I’ll wait.”
“Ania… When he comes back…”
“Yeah?”

Ania gripped the receiver tightly.

“When he comes back to the estate…”

“No, let’s talk when we meet.”

When he comes back?

Ania was curious about the rest but didn’t press for it.

Even if she didn’t hear it now, Ania knew what that question was.
And she had an answer ready.

“It’s getting late now. You must be tired, so rest.”
“You too, Edward.”

After hanging up the phone, Ania drummed her feet on the blanket, feeling the excitement blooming in her heart.

There had never been a time when time passed so slowly, Ania thought.

***

“Preparations are complete.”

As the night deepened and the sky fell into a quiet slumber, I met Ei and Canella.

“We’ve been waiting,” Ei said.
“Likewise,” replied Canella.

Even on Canella’s usually stoic face, a flush of excitement was evident.

“If we figure this out, it’ll be a major discovery!”
“Enough talk; let’s get on with it.”

Canella nodded, and I naturally lay down on the bed.
She retrieved the crystal orb from her pocket.

“Are you ready?”
“Anytime.”

Ei and Canella exchanged glances and then nodded.

Soon, Canella began murmuring an incantation, and the crystal orb began to glow brightly.

Simultaneously, the threads of my consciousness began to loosen gradually.
It felt like my body was floating into thin air while my consciousness plunged into the vast ocean.
With a sensation of passing through water, my body descended deeply into the ocean’s murky depths.

Memories, some emitting a black light, others a golden glow, brushed past me as I delved deeper.

“I’ve seen this before.”

Surely, there must be something deeper than this.
The story from the original…

“Could this be it?”

Then, amidst the ink-like darkness, one memory caught my eye.
Upon seeing it, I furrowed my brow slightly.

“…What on earth is this?”

The memory was flashing with a bright red light.
A very ominous shade of red.

An uneasy feeling crept over me.

What if there was nothing in this memory that I was hoping for?
What if my heart shattered at the sight of a terribly dreadful memory?

As those thoughts crossed my mind, I bit down hard on my inner lip.

Suddenly, I snapped back to reality.

“Let’s put an end to these foolish thoughts.”

No matter what past I see,
No matter what truth I uncover,
Didn’t I vow not to let my heart waver?

I took a deep breath and exhaled forcefully.

Then, I slowly reached out my hand.

The memory began to flow into me…

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