If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
Chapter 87 Table of contents

“What on earth was it?

Why is something other than my memory inside my consciousness?

According to Canella’s words, this is about peering into the memories within my consciousness.

And so it was with the magic Ei showed in the past.

There’s no way something that happened where Edward’s memories don’t reach could linger in consciousness.

So… was what I saw a memory?

If it’s a memory, whose memory is it?

Edward? Or…

Hell!

Without even guessing, I reached the entrance of the tunnel of memory.

***

When the world brightened, and I regained consciousness, I found myself inside a mansion.

The sky was tinged with darkness, and Edward stood in a long corridor.

Blood is abundant. Corpses are strewn about plentifully.

Among the survivors, one crawled on the floor with a terrified expression.

“The scoundrels of a filthy kingdom.”

Edward’s footsteps began to echo through the mansion.

“To betray the emperor and attempt to assassinate Ania… your punishment shall be death by my hand.”
“Please… spare us…”
“No pleading will suffice.”

Thunk.

The knife in Edward’s hand slammed into the floor.

The one on the ground gasped blood and drew their last breath,

while Edward, with a stern gaze, surveyed the bodies lying on the floor.

“This is the price for daring to touch my wife.”

Edward’s voice was sharp and cold as hell.

He spun the knife a few times and shook off the blood.

And I realized what had happened.

The anti-Emperor nobles had joined forces with the Northern Kingdom to kidnap Ania.

Edward, sensing what was coming, fights desperately to protect her.

Even when his body is stabbed, even when his head is dizzy with blood.

He doesn’t give up and swings his sword.

And in this battle, he loses his left hand.

Several times afterward, Ania’s life is threatened.

She was the Emperor’s right hand, the princess of the Brontë family.

But Edward protects her time and time again.

He loves her so much that he would give his life for her.

I can understand his feelings.

I used to think it was foolish, but it was love.

A love you can’t give up, no matter what.

But even with that kind of love, she betrayed Edward.

She tells Edward, who has given his life for her, that she will never love him again.

I wonder why.

That was not the woman I knew.

Suddenly, my vision brightened and flashed again.

Memories flashed through my mind.

All of them, Edward’s fight.

He raised his sword and swung.

He fought tooth and nail against those who sought to kill her.

Even when he lost an eye, even when he lost the use of a leg, he continued to fight.

But as if to betray my expectations, the memory reached its predictable conclusion.

Edward lay in the manor’s central hall, his body covered in blood.

He slowly reached out towards Ania.

His hand touched the tip of Ania’s gloved hand.

A red stain slowly spread on the white glove.

“Ania.”

Even as the flames of his life flickered away, Edward smiled.

“Even if you kill me, I will love you forever.”
“But still, I won’t love you.”

As Edward was dying, Ania said so.

“I will never… love you.”

She wouldn’t love him.

The person who had sacrificed his life for her.

The story I knew.

The ending I knew.

But the scene reflected in my eyes was slightly different.

“Never.”

Ania’s eyes were moist.

She… was crying.

Why?

Why was she crying when a man she didn’t even love was dying?

“Never…”

Edward’s eyes began to close gradually.

As his eyelids closed and the world darkened, I forcibly lifted my eyelids.

Something was different.

It was somehow different from the story I knew.

Surely, if it were according to the original, Ania should have looked down at Edward with cold eyes.

But Ania knelt down.

She clasped Edward’s gradually cooling hand with mine, bowing her head and trembling her shoulders.

Ania was crying.

Her blue eyes shimmered, dropping tears one by one.

“Don’t die. Never.”

Even as his breath faded away,

amidst the cruel agony engulfing his entire body,

Edward uttered his last words.

“Yeah.”

With that, Edward’s eyes closed.

Ania’s scream-like voice filled the mansion for a moment.

“Edward!”

But Edward wouldn’t have heard it.

“Edward…!”

Ania’s cries mixed with rough breaths filled the mansion.

“Next time… Next time, for sure…!”

What was she saying?

Although Ania spoke, Edward’s consciousness was fading, so her words sounded fragmented like shards.

Words barely heard after straining one’s ears.

Next time.
For sure.

What could that mean?

Suddenly, my body soared as if pulled into the void.

In no time, my consciousness ascended above the surface.

***

“Excuse me…! My Lord? My Lord!”

I regained my senses when Ei’s urgent voice reached me.

It felt like suddenly losing consciousness as if forcibly pulled up from the depths of the ocean.

“My Lord!”
“Ugh….”

As I tried to rise from the agony pressing on my head, Ei held me back.

“Don’t get up.”
“Why?”
“Your consciousness has gone too deep. Just… calm down for a moment.”

So I did.

As she said, my body wouldn’t move as I wished.
It felt like a heavy stone was pressing down on me.

But more importantly…

What were the memories I saw?

Clearly, there were additional details that weren’t in the original I saw.

Why did Ania shed tears while looking at Edward?
Did she feel sorry in the last moment for the man she so despised for protecting her?

Or… was there some other reason I didn’t know about?

I hoped for that.
No, perhaps that was the most plausible explanation.

Ania’s last words.

Next time.
For sure.

As if implying there would be a ‘next’ after Edward’s death.

And the last word I read in Edward’s memory.

“Again… this…. next!”

Again.

Next.

Between these two words, I found one connection:

Edward’s death.
Ania’s death.

At the end of each other’s deaths, they shouted, “Next.”

So… did they have a next chance?

But a next chance after death.

As if they would come back to life.

“……. ”

I turned my head to Ei.

Ei shrank slightly, surprised by my sudden gaze.

“Why…?”
“Is there magic that brings someone back to life after they die?”
“…What?”
“I’m asking if there’s magic that brings someone back to life after they die.”
“No?”

Ei replied casually.

“How could someone come back to life after they’ve died?”
“Guess not.”

It was nonsensical from the start.

What Ania said next couldn’t guarantee Edward’s return,

Likewise, Edward’s word “next” couldn’t be about just Ania.

As I was becoming lost in thought again, Canella, standing nearby, suddenly spoke up.

“A way to come back to life….”

Suddenly, my body moved.
I rose and asked Canella.

“Is there a way?”
“To say there’s a way to return to life is strange but not entirely impossible.”
“Tell me.”

Canella chuckled slightly, then nodded.

“But it would be correct to say it’s impossible. Although it’s passed down as a legend, no one knows if it really exists. It could cause a huge stir in the magical world if it does.”

“So out with it.”

Just as my patience was wearing thin, Canella let out a soft snort.

“There’s a legend about an artifact that can rewind time, though it doesn’t revive people.”
“An artifact?”
“A precious item crafted with ancient magic.”
“Where can we get that?”
“That’s something I don’t know. It’s a legendary item, passed down like a myth. I’ve heard rumors that some items are held by the Northern Kingdom and the Imperial Palace… ”
“The palace?”
“Yes.”

I gripped Canella’s shoulders tightly.

Canella shouted, “Let go of me!” but I didn’t hear her.

“Where in the palace? You mean the artifact that rewinds time could be in the palace?”
“Uh, y-yes!”

I stood up abruptly.

I had already planned to head to Khaldevar as soon as I finished reading the memories.

There was no use in delaying.

“Let’s go to the Capital right now.”

When I ordered Lorendel, she hesitated momentarily before nodding in agreement.

“Are you planning to go to the Capital? It might be dangerous right now.”
“Would dying make it any better?”

Ei protested, but I had no intention of changing my mind.

I wanted to meet Ania as soon as possible, even if it meant going to the Capital.
And the artifact is rumored to be in the palace.

Surely Eidrigan would know something about it.

But then, suddenly, someone banged on the door.

She took a deep breath before shouting, “My Lord, the Capital… the capital is under attack again!”

Author’s Notes

The conclusion is not far off.

Please stay tuned until then.

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