When | got back to the Guild tavern after learning my new skills, | found it in an uproar.

“Milady Aqua, do it again! I’ll pay! Show us The Wonders of Nature again

“You idiot! Our dear Aqua doesn’t want money—she wants food! Right, my

|”

dear?! I’ll treat you! So show us The Wonders of Nature again

For some reason, a crowd surrounded Aqua. She looked more than a little annoyed.

“This is art! It’s not something you can do just any old time someone asks! A great man once said, a good joke is only good once. I’m not some third-rate street player who’ll do the same thing over and over just because it’s a little popular! In fact, I’m not a performer at all, so I’m hardly interested in making money from my art! That’s the very least someone can commit to when they seek to refine their skills. Anyway, The Wonders of Nature was never something | intended to show to you lot, and—Hey, Kazuma! You’re finally back. Y’know, it’s your fault this is happen—Say, what’s with her?”

Aqua had noticed the wet-eyed, sulky Chris who accompanied me as | pushed my way through the crowd.

Darkness opened her mouth before | could explain. “Chris is upset because not only did Kazuma take her panties, but then he held them for ransom.”

“Hey, way to run your mouth! Hold on! Wait! | mean—she’s not wrong, but— really, wait!”

Chris had wept that she would pay anything | asked if | would let her have her panties back, so I’d told her she should set the price for her own intimates. That was all.

And then I’d added that if | didn’t like the price she named, | would just keep the panties and take them back to become an heirloom of my house.

She’d pulled out her wallet, along with the one she’d taken from me, and traded them for the underwear. Darkness made it sound so unseemly.

| was starting to squirm under Aqua’s and Megumin’s gazes, taken in as they were by Darkness’s telling, but then Chris raised her dejected face.

“Well, | guess getting your underwear snatched in public is no reason to get in a mood! All right, Darkness. Sorry, but I’m gonna hit up a well-stocked dungeon

| know and do some grinding. | did just use up all my money to get back my hostage panties.”

“Hey, hang on! Aqua and Megumin I’m used to, but every female adventurer in the room is glaring at me now! Just wait!”

It looked like most of the women there had overheard our conversation. Chris snickered at my anxious expression and said, “Just a little revenge, eh? All right,

|”

I’m off to make some cash, so play nice, Darkness! Catch you all later With that, Chris made for the adventurer recruitment board.

“Um...aren’t you going with her, Miss, uh, Darkness?” | asked. The Knight still sat at our table like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“No... I’m a frontline defender. We’re an eris a dozen. Thieves, though—you can’t tackle a dungeon without one, but it’s not a flashy job, so there aren't many. Everyone wants someone like Chris.”

| see. Come to think of it, Aqua said Arch-priests were in high demand, too. | guess your occupation could get you more than Id realized.

A few minutes later, we saw Chris walk out the door of the Guild with several other adventurers in a party she’d found. She gave us a jaunty wave as she left.

“They’re going to a dungeon now, even though it’s almost dark?”

“First thing in the morning is the best time to tackle a dungeon,” Megumin said. “So it is quite common for people to go to a dungeon the night before and camp out at the entrance. There are even some merchants who set up shop outside dungeons specifically to cater to adventurers who are camped there. So, how did it go, Kazuma? Did you learn a new skill?”

A shameless smile grew on my face at hearing Megumin’s question.

“Heh-heh, how about | show you? Here | go—Steal!” | shouted, and thrust my right hand toward Megumin. In a flash, | was holding a piece of white cloth.

Yup. Panties again.

“| do not understand. Did your stats go up enough for you to change jobs from Adventurer to Pervert?” She paused. “Um...it’s rather chilly, so could you please return my panties... ?”

“Wh-what? That’s weird... It’s not... | mean, it’s supposed to take something random!”

| hurriedly returned the panties to Megumin, and as the looks of the women nearby went from chilly to freezing, | heard someone pound the table with a slam.

It was Darkness, rising from her chair. For some reason, her eyes were ablaze...

“| knew it! | knew | had judged correctly! You beast—stealing the panties of such a young girl right out in public! | absolutely—! absolutely must be part of

|”

this party “Nope.” “Wh...a...2! Hrrk...!” At my answer, Darkness turned red and began to shake.

What was | supposed to do? | wasn’t sure how, but | could tell this female Knight was not the useful type.

So of course, Aqua and Megumin were immediately interested in her.

“Hey, Kazuma, who’s this? Is this that girl you said you interviewed while Megumin and | were at the bathhouse yesterday?”

“Wait, is she not a Crusader? Why should you wish to refuse such a powerful ally?”

With one eye on Darkness, they each offered their altogether unsolicited opinions.

Dammit... And here I’d worked so hard to put her off yesterday... | so didn’t want her to meet these two.

All right, let’s try this:

“Listen, Darkness. Aqua and | may not look like much, but we have a job to do. We need to defeat the Demon King.” Aqua, of course, wanted to get back to the divine realm, but for my part—having been confronted by the reality of a world in which we could barely handle an overgrown frog, let alone a demonic sovereign—I was no longer feeling very enthusiastic about that task.

| paid no attention to Megumin, who sat next to us pretending to studiously ignore our conversation.

Wait. Actually, this might be the perfect moment.

“This goes for you, too, Megumin,” | said. “Aqua and | want to defeat the Demon King at any cost. That’s why we became adventurers. And because of that, things are likely to get pretty rough for us. Especially for you, Darkness— you're a lady Knight! Do you know what the Demon King would do to you if he captured you?”

“| know exactly what you’re talking about!” Darkness said. “From time immemorial it has been the role of the lady Knight to be the erotic plaything of the Demon King! Just that alone is enough to make me join you!”

“Huh? Say what?!” Her eagerness brought me up short. “Huh? What about what? Did | say something strange?” All right, let’s leave that one for now. | turned to Megumin.

“Megumin, look—we’re up against the Demon King here. Aqua and | are taking the fight to the most powerful creature in this world. You don’t have to force yourself to stick with such a crazy bunch of—”

Bam. Megumin suddenly stood up. Her mantle fluttered out.

“My name is Megumin! First among the spell-casters of the Crimson Magic Clan and wielder of Explosion! Is the Demon King known as the strongest in this world? Then | shall topple him with the strongest magic in this world!”

We were getting odd looks from around the hall as Megumin made her proud, and thoroughly tweeny, declaration.

Useless. Don’t give me that self-satisfied smirk, you!

What was | gonna do? The two problem children | most wanted out of my party were the ones most eager to be in it!

“Hey, Kazuma! Kazumaaa!” As | sat there stewing, Aqua tugged on my sleeve. “After hearing all that stuff you were just saying? I’m not so sure about this anymore... Isn’t there an easier way to beat the Demon King?”

... You better get on board. Aren’t you the one who needs to defeat him most of all?

At that moment...

“Urgent quest! Urgent quest! All adventurers currently in town, please report immediately to the Guild Hall. Repeat, all adventurers, please report immediately to the Guild Hall!”

The announcement boomed through the streets. Maybe they were amplifying it with magic?

“Hey, what do they mean, an urgent quest? Is a monster attacking the town or something?” | was pretty concerned. Darkness and Megumin, on the other hand, looked thrilled.

“Hmm, it’s probably about the cabbage harvest,” Darkness said happily. “It’s almost the season.”

| was silent for a long moment.

“Huh? Cabbage? |s that the name of a monster?” | said dumbly. Megumin and Darkness both gave me a strange look of pity.

“Cabbages are green and round,” Megumin said. “You eat them.” “They’re a crunchy, delicious vegetable,” Darkness added.

“| know what a cabbage is! So, what? They’re putting out an urgent quest so we can all go and do farmwork?”

Granted, I’d been in construction myself until just a little while ago, but | didn’t come here for agriculture.

“Oh... Kazuma, | guess you might not know, but...the cabbages around here —” Aqua was hesitantly trying to tell me something, but the desk clerk cut her off with a loud announcement to the adventurers in the hall.

“Everyone, please pardon our sudden call! Some of you have figured this out already, but it’s cabbage season! The time for this year’s harvest has come! The cabbages are quite full this year, so we will be paying ten thousand eris a head!

We have already instructed the townspeople to evacuate their homes. Please catch as many cabbages as you’re able and bring them back here. Please take care so their counterattacks don’t hurt you! Finally, because of the large number of people involved, we will pay out the reward at a later date.”

...Wait, what did she just say?! A cheer went up outside the Guild Hall.

| followed the crowd to see what was going on and saw a bunch of round green objects floating nonchalantly around the streets.

As | stood there trying to take it in, Aqua appeared beside me and said solemnly, “The cabbages here can fly. They get more flavorful as the harvest approaches, but they don’t have any intention of ending up on the menu without a fight. They make a run for it through the towns and fields and head out to sea. It’s said they cross the ocean and spend their days quietly in a place no one knows, where they can live out their lives without being eaten. But if we can catch even one, we'll get an awfully good meal out of it.”

“| wonder if | could just go back to the stable and hit the hay...,” | muttered dimly. Next to me, a couple of adventurers braver than | were joining the chase with a shout. Their manly fervor seemed to be stoked by the cabbages’ own desire to survive.

As the adventurers threw themselves into combat with the vegetables, | had only one thought in mind.

How sad is it that | have to fight to the death with some leafy greens?

| wanna go back to Japan...