“Oh-ho. It seems clothes really do make the man!” “Indeed. Kazuma at last looks the part of an adventurer.”

In the Guild Hall, which had become our unofficial meeting spot, Darkness and Megumin admired my new outfit.

| sort of wanted to ask what exactly they thought I’d looked like before. Just some creeper?

Now | looked like | belonged here. | had a leather chest plate, metal gauntlets, and metal greaves.

Aqua had said that my tracksuit alone killed the immersion around here, so the day before, I’d bought several sets of appropriate clothes.

I'd been told that magical skills usually required a free hand, and since | had gone out of my way to learn some magic, | decided not to carry a shield. | had just the blade at my hip, in a style | liked to think of as a sort of magical swordsman.

I'd used up most of the money I’d made off my little Steal contest with Chris, but there was enough left over from that to put food on the table for another week or two.

And, hey—! had some armor; I’d learned some skills. | wanted to go on a quest.

When | told everyone about it, Darkness firmly nodded.

“It’s mating season for the Giant Toads, and many of them are near town. We could—”

“No more toads!” Megumin and Aqua interrupted in unison.

“..Why not? They’re easy to stab with a bladed weapon, which makes them easy to kill. Their only attack is to try to grab you with their tongue. You can sell the carcass as a consumable, so you can make good money on them. You might get eaten if you’re wearing only thin armor, but they hate metal, so | assume Kazuma wouldn’t be targeted the way he’s dressed now. As for you two, Aqua and Megumin, I'll act as a shield for you.”

“Oh... These two were traumatized when toads ate them a while ago. They wound up covered in slime from head to toe. It’s all right; let’s find something else.”

For some reason, Darkness’s cheeks had gone a light red at my words. “...Don’t tell me that thought excites you.” “It does not.”

She looked away bashfully, but | had a bad feeling. She wasn’t going to disappear on a one-woman frog chase the minute | took my eyes off her, was she?

“Not counting that urgent cabbage hunt,” | said, “this will be the first quest for the four of us together. It’d be nice if we could just take it easy.”

Megumin and Darkness went over to the board to see if there were any simple quests posted.

Aqua rolled her eyes at me and said, “What can you expect from a hikiNEET introvert? Kazuma, you’re in the weakest class, so | can see why you’d want to be cautious, but think about the rest of us. You’ve got a party full of advanced adventurers! Why not take on some tougher quests, make some real money, raise our levels—and then it’s ‘Good-bye, Demon King!’ What | mean is, let’s  pick the most difficult mission we can find

| was silent for a long moment. Then | said, “I hate to tell you this, but...you have yet to be any help at all.” Aqua seemed aghast at my words, but | paid her no mind. | went on. “I’m pretty sure | was supposed to get some superpowerful item or ability from you so | wouldn’t have any trouble here. And look, I’m the last person to complain when the gods themselves give me free swag. But didn’t | pick you over all the other stuff | could’ve had? And now that we’ve come this far, | have to ask: Have you done anything for me—anything—that’s better than whatever legendary loot or killer special ability | would’ve gotten? How about it? Back when we got here, you were sure you were all that, but you still haven’t proved it, you self-proclaimed former you-know-what!”

“Sniff... \-’'m not a former... I|-l’m_ still...still a goddess,” Aqua said despondently.

| practically shouted now. “‘Goddess’! You?! A goddess would give guidance to her hero! She’d fight the Demon King herself, seal him away until the hero was ready! And what did you do on our cabbage hunt? Sure, you somehow wound up with a bunch of them, but all | saw was you crying while flying vegetables chased you around! What kind of deity gets bullied by something that goes in stew? The only thing you know how to do is get eaten by frogs; your only abilities are stupid party tricks—and you call yourself a goddess?!”

“W-waaaaahh!”

| felt a bit satisfied seeing Aqua collapsed over the table, weeping. I’d gotten my revenge on her for making fun of me.

But Aqua, it seemed, wasn’t ready to let it drop. She looked up from the table and said, “I—I can do lots of useful things! | know healing magic, and...healing magic, and—healing magic! So what about it, you hikiNEET? How long do you think it’ll take to defeat the Demon King at this rate, huh? If you’ve got ideas, I’d love to hear them!” She thinks she’s clever.

Aqua glared at me through teary eyes.

| sneered at her. “I cut class every day of high school to stay home and work on my pro gaming career. You really think | don’t have any idea how to handle this?”

“You were a pro gamer?”

“No, | just wanted to Say it. Listen, Aqua. | don’t have amazing powers like the usual protagonists of these stories. But | do have the things | learned in Japan. So | was thinking, what if | made simple Japanese goods, something traditional they don’t have here, and sell them? I’ve got good Luck, right? Even the girl who registered us said | should go into trading. It got me thinking, maybe adventuring isn’t the only way to make money around here. We can take other routes, too. As long as we’ve got some cash, it won’t be hard to get XP. We can buy cabbage, or whatever else gives you XP just by eating it, and get stronger that way.”

True, the other Japanese here knew the same things | did. But unlike me, they’d taken the special powers as they were supposed to. They wouldn’t think to do something so menial as selling handmade goods—they’d be too focused on their quests.

Basically, the ROI from adventuring for me wasn’t very good.

l’d only been on a frog hunt and cabbage hunt so far, but looking at the quest board, nothing seemed to offer a reward proportionate to its dangers.

Life was just too cheap here.

Sure, | periodically brought up the Demon King in front of Aqua for her benefit, but to tell you the truth, | wasn’t thinking seriously about defeating him. Which meant instead, | had to figure out how to live in this world with the least fuss and the most comfort.

“A-anyway, you get thinking, too! Think of something easy we can sell! And teach me that recovery magic of yours already! | want to be able to heal when | have enough skill points

“Nooo! Not my healing magic! I’ll lose my reason for existing! You don’t need to learn those spells! You have me! Nooo!” She flopped on the table and began

weeping about me taking away the one thing that gave her existence any value. That was how Megumin and Darkness found us when they came back.

“What have you been up to?” Megumin asked. “You can be rather cruel, Kazuma. You could probably make any girl cry if you told her how you really fee

“Hmm...,” Darkness said. “If you need to let off some stress, why not leave Aqua alone and insult me instead?” She paused. “After all, it is a Crusader’s duty to stand in harm’s way for others.”

Both of them looked at Aqua, who was still crying. She seemed to realize everyone was staring at her and buried her face in her arms, peering out periodically from between her limbs to glare at me. It was kind of annoying.

“Look, just ignore her. But Darkness...” | glanced at her. “I didn’t know you were so svelte under all that armor.” Darkness was wearing only a black tank top, a tight black skirt, and leather boots. She still wore the great sword across her back, making her look less like a Knight than a simple warrior.

Apparently her armor was in the shop, having been damaged when she took that beating from the cabbages. | found myself unexpectedly speaking more gently to the unprotected Darkness.

She was firm where a woman ought to be firm and had a very shapely form. Frankly, she was turning me on.

Standing next to Megumin only highlighted how developed Darkness was. | started to think that for a face that lovely and a body so smoking, | could maybe overlook some personal quirks...

“Oh!” she cried out. “Did you just say, ‘How dare this pig have such a hot body’?”

“No! | didn’t!”

| glanced at Megumin and Aqua...

You know what? | take it back. It doesn’t matter how hot she is. Personality trumps all.

Then Megumin exclaimed, “Hey! Explain the meaning of that glance you just gave me!”

“There’s no meaning. | was just thinking, ‘Thank god I’m not into jailbait,’ is all

“Start a fight with someone of the Crimson Magic Clan, and she will always finish it!” Megumin said, tugging on my sleeve. “Let us step outside and—”

“Um, anyway...,” Darkness broke in. “If we’re going to do a quest, how about one that will help Aqua gain some levels?”

“What do you mean?” | said. “Is anyone offering one that convenient?” And Aqua had learned pretty much every skill there was for her to learn with her starting points, anyway, so | didn’t think she needed to be too worried about leveling up.

“As a rule, it’s hard for Priests to level up, since they lack real offensive capabilities. They can’t run out and just kill something like a warrior can or rush in with a blast of magic like a Wizard. So Priests prefer to hunt the undead. They’re immortal monsters that have turned against the laws of the gods. The power of the divine has an opposite effect on the undead. Hit them with healing magic, and it actually destroys them.”

Now that | thought about it, that sounded familiar. It was pretty similar in most video games: Recovery magic works as an attack against undead enemies.

| dunno, though. Would a few levels even help this useless goddess? Then | had a flash of inspiration. When my level went up, so did my stats. Would it be the same for Aqua?

She was still slumped over the table, crying crocodile tears and peeking at us every once in a while to see if we were paying attention. If this idiot’s level went up, would her Intelligence stat rise a little bit, too? That would be the most efficient way to make her more useful in battle.

“Hey, that’s not a bad idea,” | said. “But Darkness, your armor isn’t back from the shop yet...”

Darkness crossed her arms and proclaimed, “Ahem! Not a problem for me! | didn’t specialize in defensive skills for nothing. Even without armor, I’m tougher than an Adamanmoise! Plus, | prefer the feeling of being hit without any protection.”

“,...Did you just say you enjoy being hit?” “No.” “Yes, you did.”

“Did not.” Silence. “So, Aqua, want to try it?” She looked at our Arch-priest, whose face was still hidden in her arms.

“Hey, don’t just sit there blubbering—say something! We’re talking about your level, here!” | reached out and was about to smack her on the shoulder—

But that’s when | noticed... “.snooooore...” She’d tired herself out from crying and fallen asleep.

Was she a goddess or a toddler?

We were ona hill outside town.

It was a communal cemetery for those who died poor or without anyone to bury them. Interment was the custom here—no coffin, just straight in the ground.

Our quest was to deal with the undead monsters that were plaguing the graveyard.

It was almost dusk. We’d pitched camp nearby and were waiting for dark.

“Hey, Kazuma! | had dibs on that meat! We’ve got some perfectly good grilled vegetables right here—eat some!”

“That cabbage hunt kind of killed my interest in vegetables. I’m always afraid the shop yet...”

Darkness crossed her arms and proclaimed, “Ahem! Not a problem for me! | didn’t specialize in defensive skills for nothing. Even without armor, I’m tougher than an Adamanmoise! Plus, | prefer the feeling of being hit without any protection.”

“,...Did you just say you enjoy being hit?” “No.” “Yes, you did.”

“Did not.” Silence. “So, Aqua, want to try it?” She looked at our Arch-priest, whose face was still hidden in her arms.

“Hey, don’t just sit there blubbering—say something! We’re talking about your level, here!” | reached out and was about to smack her on the shoulder—

But that’s when | noticed... “.snooooore...” She’d tired herself out from crying and fallen asleep.

Was she a goddess or a toddler?