Please Stop The Pope
Chapter 5 Table of contents

2. Irregular

   

   1.

   

   “…… Dear Team Leader. I’m still confused. Returnee Kim Shi Yu was clearly judged as a Regular, so why is…….”

   “Hey, I’m the manager for his case.”

   “Yeah.”

   “You think if I knew that, he would be on this field, right now?”

   Dong Shik replied roughly to his subordinate’s words, silently watching the horrific scene unfolding in front of him.

   There was a wyvern with its wings torn off in a gruesome fashion, its skull caved in and leaking cerebral fluid, and a wyvern with its entire neck severed.

   There were wyverns lying on the ground in such a state of disrepair that even tanks had been lightly chewed up and eaten.

   The scene looked like a giant predator had slaughtered the wyverns, but amazingly, it was all done by a single man.

   And with his bare hands.

   “……Kim Shi Yu.

   Dong Shik already knew the name of the man who was rampaging like a wild beast in front of him.

   He couldn’t help but recognize it.

   He had already investigated the man himself yesterday, a regular-ranked returnee.

   Furthermore, he had already heard about the man’s story before his return. He’d heard about the man’s pre-return story, about fighting demons in a world called Eden, something like that old web novel.

   But until yesterday, he didn’t believe it.

   Or, more precisely, he couldn’t believe it.

“No magic power detected.

Shi Yu had tested him three times with his highly reliable magic detector, and not once did it detect any magic.

   <The hypothesis that all Awakened people possess magic power had been considered orthodox for a very long time, and in fact, it was the logic that applied in almost all cases.

   Even Lee Dong-ha, the first Disaster-class returnee to return to Korea seven months ago, had been successfully evaluated by the magic detector.

   How could anyone believe the words of a returnee who could not sense any magic?

   Therefore, Dong Shik dismissed what Kim Shi Yu had said yesterday as just the usual bluffing of a returnee.

In fact, there are quite a few returnees who have made such ridiculous claims.

   Moreover, one of the trainees, Oh Hyun-taek, had also told a ridiculous story that he was the right-hand man of the Murim Lord, even though he was only a third-rate returnee.

   Eek, eek, eek!

   “Hey, Team Leader. Did you just see, the wyverns…… are getting scared. Didn’t that one over there, it was flying and then…… went rigid and fell?”

   “Woohoo.”

   Dong Shik bit his lips as he sighed heavily at his subordinate’s huffing and puffing.

   Yes, we have to rethink this from the beginning.

   The returnee acclimatization program that was supposed to be going on now?

   He’d already put that out of his head.

   What was happening in front of him now was definitely unprecedented in Korea.

That Returner over there, ripping wyverns apart like bugs, is only a regular?

   That’s a Disaster level performance.

   The good news is that the Ministry has a manual for these situations.

It hadn’t been used since the Ministry’s inception, but they were clearly trained and familiar with it.

   An out-of-spec returnee whose power is undetectable, but who possesses more than the power of a Disaster-level person.

   Also known as Irregulars.

   It was an extremely rare occurrence, only encountered four times even in the United States, the country with the most returnees, and the Ministry had only added it to the manual as a formality.

   But Dong Shik could instantly recognize that this was one of those rare cases.

   He quickly assessed the situation and whipped out his cell phone to call his boss.

   Whoosh.

   After a brief connection, his boss’s voice came over the speaker.

   -The story of the overflowing gate is…….

   “I’m requesting an emergency muster of the entire Special Investigations Division, per Section 7-9 of the Emergency Response Manual.”

   -Is the gate situation really that serious?

   “This is not just a gate overflow.”

   Dong Shik clutched his cell phone and stared ahead.

   Just a few minutes ago, the wyverns’ howls had been tearing his eardrums apart, but now it was eerily quiet.

That silence was understandable, in a way.

   Any wyverns capable of crying were long since dead.

   And in the silence, a man approached him, dusting off his hands, and Dong Shik stared at him blankly.

   -Team Leader Kim, you need to speak more clearly or I won’t understand you! Huh? What the hell is going on?

   “We’ve identified a returnee with no power detection, but with overwhelming abilities. He must be a non-standard returnee, an Irregular, sir. We don’t have much time, so I’ll go talk to him, but please follow up.”

   -Dude, Dong Shik, what are you doing…….

   Tuuuuu.

   Dong Shik swallowed hard as he put his cell phone in his pocket after delivering the information one-sidedly.

   In this situation, there was only one thing he could do right now.

“Ah, thank you for your trouble, Kim Shi Yu, are you hurt anywhere, hey! What are you doing standing still? Our honored guest must be tired from all your hard work, so get him some water or something right away, eh?”

   It was just years of socializing.

   

   2.

   

   The message window that popped up in front of me after I captured the wyvern boss was as follows.

   

   [The <Dimensional System: Earth> system has confirmed some of your godhood and potential. ]

   [You have successfully completed the sudden quest <Measurement>!]

   [To thank you for your cooperation with the assessment, the system will grant you the item <DLC License> as a reward for your efforts].

   <DLC License>.

  Item Type: System – Special Events

Description: This license allows players to add mods to the system on a one-time basis. When adding new mods, players will be able to improve through them.

   Current DLC you can add:

   1. The Returned

   2. The Pope (★Recommended)

   *Warning: This license expires upon use

   

   It’s much more authentic than the system I used in Eden for ten years.

   As I glanced back at the message window I’d seen earlier, something spontaneously came out of my mouth.

“Just do the damn thing, do the damn thing.”

I should be able to understand it.

One thing seems certain: once I make a choice, there’s no turning back. I’ve made some pretty bad choices in the past, so let’s think about this for a moment.

   It took me a while to understand the system we used in Eden, and I’m guessing it’ll take a little longer on Earth.

   That’s when I let out an involuntary curse word.

The reaction came from a completely unexpected place.

   “By any chance, did I offend you? I’m really sorry…….”

   “Oh, I wasn’t talking to you, don’t mind me.”

   I waved at Team Leader Kim and smiled as I sipped the drip coffee he handed me.

I’m now in the Ability Management Department, where I was yesterday morning.

   Just like yesterday, I came here straight from Yeouido Hangang Park.

   Of course, the situation is 180 degrees different from yesterday.

   First of all, the vehicle that brought me here earlier.

   Yesterday, it was a black van, but today, it’s a luxury sedan that looks like it belongs to the chairman of a major corporation.

   That’s not all.

The location has also changed.

   Instead of the basement interrogation room where I was interrogated yesterday, I was taken to a reception room on the highest floor of the building with a magnificent view of Mount Bukhansan.

   I’m sipping hand-drip coffee from Team Leader Kim while gazing at the view of Mount Bukhansan, which I haven’t seen in a long time.

   “Mmm. Is it bitter?”

   A little bit.

   Yesterday’s mixed coffee was sweet, but maybe it was because it was my first espresso in 10 years?

   I used to love it.

   “I’m so sorry. Can I get you another……?”

   Team Leader Kim replied in a stiff voice, and I smirked at him, raising the corner of my mouth.

   “I think it’s because I haven’t had a drink in 10 years, so it’s awkward. Well, I think I’ve had enough rest, and I’m going to eat tteokbokki with my brother today.”

   “First of all, a National Security Council meeting is currently being convened in secret to discuss your rating, Shi Yu, and if you cooperate with a few more investigations, we’ll get you home as soon as possible.”

   Things seem to have gone well.

If you cooperate, we’ll do a great job of reclassifying you.

It’s not that hard.

   I nodded slowly and said.

   “Please do.”

   Team Leader Kim bowed again, this time respectfully, then tapped his laptop and asked, “So, what’s the status?

   “During the initial investigation yesterday, you didn’t tell us that you possessed the ability, so can you tell us why?”

   “I was overwhelmed, and I couldn’t wait to see my family, that’s all.”

   Tada, tada, tada.

   The tapping of the keyboard echoed for a moment, then Kim nodded and continued.

“Okay, so let’s move on to the next question, why did you use your power at the Yeouido Han River Park gate today, when you could have hidden it if you wanted to, Mr. Shi Yu?”

“Because I have a goal I want to accomplish here, and my brother told me that it would require state recognition.”

The moment I say the word goal, Kim’s face tightens once again.

   The tension is palpable.

   “Do you mind if I ask what that goal is?”

   “Uh, nothing too grand.”

I take a sip of my coffee and slide it down my throat, then answer with a wry smile.

   “Did I tell you that I was the Pope on the other side of the world?”

   “Yeah.”

   “So I thought I’d do some evangelizing.”

“Yeah…… yeah?”

   The change in Kim’s expression was quite remarkable.

   Just a moment ago, his face was as stony as a statue, and now his eyes twitched.

   Perhaps my goal was outside of his expectations.

   “Evangelism?”

   “Because the god I worshiped in Eden, Limen, is actually a pretty good god, and I feel really bad and upset that I’m the only one on Earth who believes in such a god.”

“Ah…… I see.”

   “So, Mr. Kim, if you don’t have a religion, why don’t you try believing in Limen? She’s a really good god.”

   Team Leader Kim’s expression, which he had somehow managed to keep expressionless, finally broke.

   He was now wearing a weak smile.

   Yes, it’s a cult, no doubt.

   But in this situation, do I really need to tell this guy outright, ‘If I can’t gather 10,000 believers, I’ll lose all my power?

   I can’t do that even if I die.

   I’d rather be treated like a cult leader.

   Tada, tada, tada.

   Once again, the sound of keyboards echoed through the room, followed by a voice that was now completely drained of energy.

   “What Mr. Shi Yu is saying…… is that you need state recognition to do evangelism? If it’s about establishing a religious corporation, I can put you in touch with another department, but what does that have to do with reclassification?”

“We’re going to try to do evangelism in a different way, to be a little more approachable to the masses.”

It’s something that modern people, young and old, live with every day.

   The very thing that would be the beginning of the blueprint I laid out yesterday.

   “MyTube. I’m going to start evangelizing through MyTube. My brother and I were talking yesterday, and he said that Awakeners need to be nationally recognized in order to be effective on MyTube.”

   This was the moment I spoke up and told him my plan.

   Team Leader Kim’s hands, which were somehow tapping away at the keyboard up until this point, stopped.

   He swept his hands across his face and smiled an indecipherable smile.

   They say that people laugh when faced with situations they don’t understand, and it seems to be true.

Still, he kept his professionalism until the last minute.

Despite looking dizzy, Team Leader Kim persevered and spoke to me.

“So……, to summarize what Mr. Shi Yu said, you wanted to reclassify so that you could evangelize through the MeTube. Is this correct?”

   “Yes, it is. You can think of it as an online worship service, and that’s how we’ll start.”

   “Ah.”

Was his “ah” at the end an exclamation or a sigh?

   Either way.

It was then that I finally told Mr. Dong Shik about my plan.

   Before my eyes, something completely unexpected happened.

   

[You have completed your DLC selection!]

   [Name of DLC you selected: Pope]

   [We will update the system to match the characteristics of the DLC. Estimated time: 4 hours].

   

   “……When will I be back?”

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