40. A Certain Man’s Diary 3, The Last Soliloquy That Couldn’t Be Written

* * *

……I let my guard down.

I was sure I had killed him.

Maybe I’m getting old.

Blood spurts vigorously from the wound I received from a deep diagonal slash.

I can no longer stand and fall to the ground.

What happened to Emi……

Struggling just to move my eyes, I see that Emi is safe.

She is launching a 【Stone Throw】 at that cult leader.

A thunderous roar echoes.

……Ha ha, Emi, that sound isn’t something a 【Stone Throw】 can make.

That baldy is definitely dead now. I can’t confirm it, but.

“…………Master”

Emi, probably having dealt the final blow to the cult leader, rushes over to me and struggles to stop the bleeding.

I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m beyond saving.

Moment by moment, I can feel my life slipping away.

“Master… Master, Master……”

Ah, Emi.

My beloved disciple.

My dear, dear… “granddaughter.”

Don’t cry for me.

This is a fitting retribution.

Rather, it’s about time retribution came my way.

From infants to the elderly.

I was an assassin who killed anyone for money.

Born a cursed child.

Without family or friends.

Before I knew it, that was the job I was doing.

I never felt any noble sense of guilt or conscience.

“The Grim Reaper of Ashgo” and such grand titles were bestowed upon me, but at the end of the day, I’m scum.

Just scum.

A worm that lived a greedy life, sucking the lives out of others.

For such a me, Emi.

You’re crying.

“…………”

Somehow moving my body, I grasp Emi’s hand.

“……Thank you.”

Having you here, I was saved.

With you here, I was truly happy for the first time.

I’m sorry.

Sorry, Emi.

I never told you my name, my nickname, or about my profession.

I was afraid that if I did, you might run away somewhere.

I’m a coward.

Hiding the truth, trying to grasp happiness.

Ah, letting go of happiness is painful.

I’ve lived my life taking away the happiness of many.

Such a man should die quickly.

Ah.

But, sorry, Emi.

Your training has ended midway.

I wanted to teach you more, to train you more.

But well, you’ll be fine, Emi.

You’re a genius.

I’ve taught you the basics.

From here on, you’ll grow stronger on your own.

My consciousness is getting blurry.

Lastly, Emi, just one more thing.

“…………Han, g in, there……”

Ah.

These are my last words.

How lame.

Unsatisfying.

Well, it’s okay.

Emi.

In the life of my beloved disciple.

In the life of my “granddaughter.”

May you have much happiness.

At the moment of death.

For the first time in my life, I prayed to God.