Chapter 16 – A Happening During a Guard’s Dinner

Translator: RaNzAn

After enjoying my fill in the hot springs, I happened upon the chief on the way home.

「Al, how was the hot springs? Did you enjoooooy it?」

「Yes, it was a very good hot springs, but…」

I was going to ask him why Millet and the others got in.

I thought the place was reserved.

However, instead of being able to ask, Millet came from behind and shouted at the chief.

「Chief! Why didn’t you tell me that Mister Al was going to be in the hot springs?」

「What? I thought that I said you could get in after Al used it.」

The chief looked a bit confused, while Millet looked at Collette.

「I would have gotten in after Mr. Al, but…」

「Ah, Collette, did you forget to tell your sister?!」

Collette shook her head.

It seems that Collette forgot to relay all of the words that the chief had told her.

You could say that only telling the little girl was a bit thoughtless. Still, even if he just told her「Feel free if you’d like to get in」… it wasn’t that important of a message.

Nothing to say other than to let the whole issue of what the chief said to Collette go.

「Collette! You should have told me!」

「…what…whatsth wrong?! I had a fun time getting into the thspringsth with the old man.」

「But you have to say something!」

「Of course it was wrong, Collette, as I was stuck having this PERVERT of a magician looking at my precious body!」

Collette seemed to slump as the two girls shouted at her.

「Thsub Bossth…sthisther, you didn’t want to get in with him? You don’t like him?」

「That’s not what I’m saying…」

「I haven’t said that…」

Collette now smiled in relief.

「Then you should sthare the basth with him!」

「You know…maybe you’re right…」

Millet nodded to herself, convinced.

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Collette looked at her and smiled.

「W…wait a second! That’s not right! Even low-lifes like you don’t bathe together like that!」

「Yeah, if you do, things get…complicated.」

Despite ourselves, Vi-Vi and I agreed on that point.

I mean, there was no avoiding it…mixed bathing was bad…especially for your bottom half.

「Pff!」

「Y…you’re right.」

Collette giggled while the tips of Millet’s ears turned red, and both finally nodded.

The chief just watched us silently and then called me over. He whispered into my ear when I got close.

「Al…I’m not going to force anyone…but if you agree then I have no problem with you bathing together, okay?」

「Chief…what are you saying?!」

「What? It’s just basic rules of the bath.」

「I see…」

I don’t know why I said, I see, but I left it at that.

—————————–

As I walk with Femm and Vi-Vi home, the sun finally set.

「I’m hungry! Low-lifes!」

「Yeah…?」

「Prepare my dinner!」

「Okay.」

I was hungry as well. However, I couldn’t let Vi-Vi cook anything.

She looked like she’d be a horrible cook.

「…since I’m tired, I think I’ll just eat some dried meat.」

「What?」

「Ruff?」

Vi-Vi and Femm both responded with objections.

「W…what’s wrong?」

「Are you trying to feed me DRIED MEAT? You must be insane!」

『I can’t believe it.』

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Vi-Vi and Femm both looked at me like I was a fool.

「I won’t feed anyone that complains!」

「W…well…I guess dried meat is okay.」

「Whooon.」

Vi-Vi nodded while Femm scratched itself.

Just then,

「Are you there Mister Al?」

Millet had arrived with Collette.

「What is it?」

「I brought you dinner.」

「Oh! Excellent, Millet! You’re one exceptional low-life!」

「Ruff, ruff!」

Vi-Vi ran up excitedly to Millet.

Femm wagged its tail intensely while spinning around in front of millet.

「You can eat your dried meat, bastard. Okay?」

「Ruff! Ruff!」

「No, I’m going to eat Millet’s dinner too.」

As I said that, a smile beamed from Millet’s face.

「I have enough for you too, Mister Al.」

「Thanks, Millet.」

Everyone ate the food that Millet had brought.

It was delicious.

「You really are a good cook, Millet!」

「Heh heh, thanks.」

「This idiot was going to feed us dried meat!」

『What a fool!』

Vi-Vi and Femm complained, but dried meat is convenient.

The taste is okay, but you can save it forever. No need to cook either.

It’s the basic food of all adventurers. Since I had spent more than half of my life as one, it was a food that I loved dearly.

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Collette quietly crept up and whispered into my ear.

「Old man. I think you sthould marry my sthisther. Sthe’sth a great cook.」

「Even so…」

「You don’t like her?」

「I didn’t say that.」

There was no way that Millet was going to say something to me first.

Millet probably wouldn’t like an old guy like me, anyway.

And food…well, as the conditions of this quest, it just covers the food part of shelter – clothes – food.

If I get too into her, I’m just going to get hurt.

—————————–

I started to get sleepy after Millet and Collette left that night.

Femm, like usual, jumped right into bed with me.

I know my bed was going to get covered with hair, but,

「Oh well.」

「How long am I going to be left sleeping on the floor!」

Vi-Vi protested loudly.

「One more night…until you can make a bed?」

「Oh. Suddenly you’ve already begun to prepare a bed for me?! Quite kind of a low-life as yourself.」

「No, I haven’t started anything.」

「WHAT?! Do you dare mock me!? You should be sleeping on the floor!」

「Why me?」

Vi-Vi got up and started trying to push me out of the bed.

Of course, I resisted.

However, since it wasn’t a battle, it was hard to put my hands on a young devil girl’s body. She might use magic or something worse against me.

The pushing over the bed continued for a while.

「Pant, huff, huff…Okay. I’ll be a gentleman, you can use this side, Vi-Vi.」

「Wheeze, huff, no use. Listen! Don’t you think obscene thoughts about me, okay!?」

「As if I would!」

「I wonder. A low life like you is an uncivilized and lascivious being!」

「If you can’t trust me, sleep on the floor.」

「I refuse!」

So Vi-Vi and I settled on agreeing to split the bed.

Femm simply saw the whole thing as tedious and laid between us, yawning.