Side Story 1 – Chapter 8

 

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Evan bit his lip, looking pained.

Loretta’s large eyes, looking up at him, were welling up with tears.

He had always been weak to her tears.

It was inevitable, wasn’t it? It was only natural for his heart to ache at the sight of the person he loved grieving.

“Miss.”

He barely managed to force out the words.

Guilt washed over him as he looked at Loretta, still holding onto some hope.

“I… was wrong.”

“What do you mean all of a sudden?”

“I’ve been acting arrogantly all day, using His Highness August’s request regarding your safety as an excuse.”

His calm words were a mixture of truth and lies.

Today, he had fulfilled all the desires he had harbored in his heart. To keep Loretta by his side.

But that was never solely because of August’s request.

Loretta’s safety was the most important thing in the world to him.

From that perspective, Evan had always been wary of being closer to Loretta than necessary.

He was a magician.

One with a sadly strong magical power.

“Anyone, any magician, has the instinct to fill someone with their mana and possess them completely. That’s why magicians in love often do scary things.”

“I… didn’t think that far.”

“I know. But it wasn’t a completely different feeling either.”

Evan often recalled his teacher’s teachings and guarded against the instincts of a magician.

But as he matured and his feelings for Loretta deepened, the desire for “complete possession” eventually came to him.

He would sometimes imagine Loretta filled with his magic power.

Of course, each time, he realized how vile and dangerous his thoughts were, and deeply tormented himself.

“Evan, about that story…”

Loretta tightened her grip on his hand.

Evan couldn’t even look her in the face now.

“Are you saying… you wouldn’t have stayed with me at the banquet if His Highness hadn’t asked?”

“I’m not a suitable person to be a witness at this wedding. So… if there weren’t any mana stones…”

“You wouldn’t have been next to me?”

He couldn’t answer. He knew it would only hurt Loretta.

Of course, even if he remained silent, nothing would change.

“…”

“Then, why did you want to go to an empty reception room?”

“My teacher asked me to.”

Evan decided to tell her everything here.

There was no one around, and it would be strange to move to a reception room in this situation anyway.

“He asked me to check your condition since you’ve been close to mana stones all day.”

“…So you wanted to go to an empty reception room for that.”

If there was any unnecessary magic power accumulated inside her, Evan would have to spread a magic circle and absorb it.

“Yes, that’s right.”

“And what about the things you wanted to tell me?”

“I was going to tell you that I’ll be conducting the next regular experiment instead of Teacher. He suddenly had to go to the border…”

“Is that… all?”

Evan could only nod at her disappointed question.

“That’s all.”

“Ugh…”

He saw Loretta’s lips trembling as she tried to force a smile.

It seemed she wanted to laugh it off as usual, but it wasn’t working.

A single teardrop finally escaped from the corner of her eye, where she had been holding back tears.

“Miss!”

Evan reached for her cheek in surprise, but Loretta quickly slapped his hand away.

“Don’t try to comfort me!”

At her sharp cry, Evan quickly retracted his hand and hid it behind his back.

“S-sorry.”

Loretta’s shoulders shook a few more times.

The intervals grew shorter and shorter, and soon tears began to flow endlessly from her large eyes.

“…”

Evan just watched, unable to do anything.

Cursing himself for feeling nothing but the selfish urge to hold her and comfort her.

“You know…”

After a long while, Loretta’s voice, trembling with sobs, called out to him.

“…”

Her lips parted and closed several times.

It seemed she wanted to say something, but was hesitant about whether it was okay to tell him.

‘Please just blame me, Miss. Don’t forgive me either. It’s okay to hate me a lot…’

Evan slowly closed his eyes as if praying, and Loretta, after taking a deep breath, finally continued her hesitant words.

“…I… like… you, Evan.”

His mind went blank at the unchanging words of confession.

He hadn’t expected to hear such words in this situation.

“…Sorry.”

Soon, Loretta added a small apology. Probably because she realized he was flustered.

“N-no.”

He denied it in a shaky voice. He wasn’t even sure what he was denying, just blurting out whatever came to mind.

“Evan.”

After a brief silence, Loretta spoke, slowly exhaling her rapid breaths.

“…Yes, Miss.”

“Can you honestly answer my question?”

“I’m sorry. But that’s something…”

Loretta looked at him pleadingly at his immediate refusal.

“Not even… once?”

He couldn’t.

If, at the end of this agreement, Loretta were to ask ‘What do you think of me?’, Evan would have no choice but to reveal his true feelings.

“Please.”

Evan couldn’t bring himself to shake his head at her earnest plea, and Loretta carefully began her question.

“By any chance… by any chance…”

“…”

“Were you… waiting for me to stop liking you?”

Evan had wished for that.

However, it wasn’t because he disliked her or anything like Loretta imagined.

“…Yes.”

He swallowed all the excuses that should have followed those words.

He felt that leaving any more room for hope would only lead to more pain.

“I’ve been waiting for that to happen.”

“So… that’s how it was…”

Loretta nodded slightly, as if she understood something.

“Evan is kind. I was always worried that you couldn’t properly tell me even if you were uncomfortable and disliked me approaching you…”

“…”

Loretta’s hand, which had been holding his, slowly moved away.

She was “kindly letting go of his hand” just as she had said before.

Evan realized that he had always roughly brushed away Loretta’s hand.

He could have been a little… gentler, even if he didn’t want to hold her hand.

It was too late for regrets, though.

“…Then I’ll be going.”

Loretta turned away first.

Evan quickly came to his senses and followed after her.

“M-Miss!”

No matter how much he called out and chased after her, she didn’t even slow down.

“Wait a moment, please.”

He grabbed the edge of her sleeve, but Loretta swung her arm roughly, shaking him off.

“…Let go!”

Evan carefully grabbed the edge of her sleeve again.

“S-sorry! But I haven’t checked your…”

“Condition yet?”

Evan nodded meekly at her question, delivered as she turned around.

“…You really have no interest in me at all, do you, Evan?”

“I only wish for your safety, Miss. So!”

Just as Evan tried to pull on Loretta’s sleeve a little more.

Someone suddenly approached from behind Loretta and grabbed his wrist, pushing him away.

Startled by the sudden appearance of another person, Evan quickly looked up to see who it was.

“…Y-Your Majesty.”

“Magician Evan.”

The young Emperor, who had inherited the throne a few years ago, was standing behind Loretta, glaring at him fiercely.

“I heard the Tower Master has high expectations for you.”

“…”

“Leave.”

“But…”

“I’m ordering you to leave.”

The Emperor pulled Loretta into a hug, patting her shoulder comfortingly, and soon a wave of tearful sobs burst out.

She must have been holding them back the whole time she was talking to Evan.

No, perhaps she had been suppressing those tears the entire time she had spent with him.

“…I’ll take my leave.”

Evan barely managed to bow before turning away.

His retreating steps were heavy.