Side Story 1 – Chapter 14

 

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Loretta still answered with her head down.

“There’s no need for you to apologize to me.”

“That’s not true, more than anything, I have something I must tell you today…”

“I told you I didn’t want to hear it!”

As Evan stubbornly tried to continue his story, Loretta hurriedly covered both her ears and sat down where she was.

“You don’t have to be so obnoxious, I can stop liking Evan on my own!”

She leaned her forehead on her knees and shouted.

Her voice would spill over the study and reach the hallway, but she couldn’t afford to worry about that right now.

“No, I’ve completely stopped now!”

“…It’s natural that you hate me.”

His answer slipped in between her fingers, so Loretta put more strength into her hands.

“I won’t listen. Anything you say…!”

Despite her desperate cries, Evan still did not back down.

“Miss, please listen to me.”

He slipped his hands inside Loretta’s palms, finally forcing her to remove her hands from covering her ears.

“…Why?”

Loretta looked up at him resentfully and asked.

“Do… you hate me that much? Enough to force me to listen to your cruel words… Is my liking you that terrible?”

Evan bit his lip and shook his head.

“But why!”

“There’s something I must tell you, Miss.”

Loretta looked into his eyes, which seemed to have firmly decided on something, then trembled the corners of her eyes and looked away.

“…I also had something I wanted to hear from you. For a very long time.”

She had always pretended to be nonchalant and said, ‘I’m the only one who likes you anyway,’ but the truth was that she had been hoping for Evan to deny those words for a long time.

“I don’t expect it anymore, though.”

“…I’m sorry.”

Loretta was surprised by his apology, lowered her hands, and raised her head.

“I told you not to apologize to me!”

“W-well, that’s not what I meant.”

Evan still held both her cheeks and tried to make an excuse.

“Why on earth are you being so kind to me? Don’t you know that’s even more cruel?!”

“I’m a kind person…”

“You are kind! You’re so overly kind that you keep making me expect things!”

“W-well, that wasn’t… kindness. So… that is…”

As Evan seemed to be searching for a suitable word, Loretta smiled weakly and offered what she thought he would say.

“You thought it was a proper courtesy towards your teacher’s family?”

“…I think it was. No, that’s… that’s right.”

As Evan mumbled his answer, Loretta stared at his face, forgetting that she had decided not to listen to his story.

She felt as if she had briefly heard a word that never suited him.

“It really… is, Miss.”

He blushed, probably embarrassed by her gaze. But he never withdrew his hands that were holding Loretta’s face, nor did he look away.

“I wanted to… seduce you with my kindness.”

“I… have no idea what you’re talking about.”

No, actually, she seemed to understand.

But Loretta did not allow herself to build up expectations in her heart. Because the moment they crumbled, it would definitely be very painful.

“…”

The hand that was cupping her cheek slowly swept over the area around her eyes. For quite a long time.

Evan’s hands were rough from always handling paper or chemicals.

Loretta had always found this endearing. It was proof that he was putting in a lot of time and effort…

But now, those hands kept giving Loretta false hope.

She tried not to attach much significance to his gentle touch.

“Miss.”

But hearing Evan’s pleading voice, her silly heart couldn’t help but pound.

Loretta realized that her foolish, unwavering heart had placed expectations on him again.

“…Don’t… do this.”

The words she barely managed to utter, squeezing out the last of her reason, were soon mixed with tears.

Evan, startled, quickly wiped away the tears that kept flowing with a careful hand.

“Every time you told me you liked me, there was actually an answer I had to hold back.”

Loretta recalled her confessions she had repeated countless times.

 

“I like you, Evan.”

 

The simple and unadorned words of confession she chose, worried that they might not be properly conveyed to Evan.

“…”

Now Evan pulled Loretta into a tighter embrace.

Due to the desire that had accumulated within him until today, green mana inevitably leaked out from his fingertips, but he would not let go of Loretta now.

Soon, his potent mana flowed into her body.

“…?!”

Loretta was belatedly startled and raised her head.

When their eyes met, Evan smiled shyly, showing her his hands where mana had flowed out uncontrollably.

“Actually…”

And as he hugged Loretta, he finally conveyed the answer he had kept to himself for so long.

“I… like you much more, Miss.”

Loretta stared at him blankly, and after a long time, she opened her mouth.

“You’re… lying.”

“It’s true.”

“I know what this is. It comes up all the time in romance novels. The ‘like’ I say and the ‘like’ Evan says are being used with different meanings, right? Right?”

Evan suppressed the ache in his heart and tried to smile.

He hadn’t realized how painful it was to be unable to properly convey that he liked someone. To think that Loretta had been living embracing those feelings…

“It’s no different. I…”

To prevent further misunderstanding from the word ‘like’, Evan chose a clearer word.

“I love you.”

“…As my brother’s younger sister?”

Loretta, still wary, asked.

Even though she kept asking questions that seemed like she was running away, Evan didn’t feel any resentment toward her. All those words were what he himself had said while pushing Loretta away.

“Absolutely not.”

“But if it weren’t for that, there’s no way Evan would like me…”

“I haven’t been able to tell you, but I’ve never once stopped loving you.”

“That’s truly a lie. I’ve… I’ve…”

Loretta couldn’t finish her sentence and bit her lip.

Tears, which had stopped for a moment out of frustration, began to fall again.

“Hngh… I… I…”

She had confessed her feelings so many times.

But Evan had never once responded to her heart. If he truly loved her, how could he have acted that way?

“I was wrong! D-don’t cry. Please?”

Evan, startled, quickly offered comforting words, but the tears that had burst out did not easily stop.

“Your feelings always made me happy. Even though I ended up avoiding the answer.”

“Why… did you avoid it? Because I’m a physis?”

“No. Actually, the problem lies with me.”

“What…?”

He let out a shaky breath. He was afraid.

“I… often have inappropriate thoughts about you, Miss. Even though I know I shouldn’t…”

“Inappropriate?”

Evan nodded guiltily in response to the question Loretta asked while wiping away her tears.

“Yes…”

“What kind of thoughts?”

“W-well…”

He blushed in embarrassment and cautiously asked, “Do you mind if I tell you about my… fantasies?”

“Yeah.”

Loretta nodded, as if it were obvious.

“If you feel uncomfortable while listening, you can slap me on the cheek. Okay? You can be really angry.”

“Did you have such incredible fantasies?”

“I… I couldn’t help it.”

Evan could no longer even look at Loretta, so he lowered his gaze.

“You’re too… attractive, and I… I’m just an ordinary man…”

At this point, Loretta was starting to get curious about what kind of fantasies Evan could have had.

“It’s alright, tell me.”

“Actually, I used to imagine… holding your hand, Miss…”

Loretta unconsciously swallowed her saliva.

“I wanted to hold it all day. To monopolize it…”

“And?”

“C-can I say more?”

Loretta nodded as if it were obvious.

If simply holding hands was considered an ‘inappropriate fantasy’, she would have been deeply disappointed in Evan.

“Actually, I also thought about… touching your hair, and… smelling your scent. It’s always so sweet…”

Evan’s face, flushed bright red, gradually sank towards the floor.

“Is there anything else?”

“I-I’m sorry. There’s still more.”