Episode 1

 

“Wow. This is finally completed.”

 

Seung-hyun threw the cell phone he had been staring at on the bed and made a relieved face.

 

Although he realized early on that he was gay, due to his timid and cautious personality, Seung-hyun had been quietly living while hiding his identity by reading BL novels, comics, or watching videos.

 

[Nunnunnanna: What are you doing?]

 

However, a recent change had come to Seung-hyun. The first person he started chatting with on a gay dating app he had mustered up the courage to join.

 

[I was just reading a novel.]

 

[Nunnunnanna: What novel?]

 

[It’s a web novel called ‘The Law of Total Amount’. It was completed so I was binge reading it.]

 

[Nunnunnanna: You’re not going to be late for our meeting because of that, right? Haha]

 

[No. We’re meeting in front of Moca Studio at Semo Station at 7, right? I’m all ready. I’m about to head out now.]

 

[Nunnunnanna: Okay. When you come out, tell me what the story is about too. I’m curious.]

 

He had hesitated before installing the app, which is usually used to find sex partners or one-night stands, but the first person he matched with turned out to be a pretty decent person.

 

After about a week of chatting, they found out they lived surprisingly close to each other, and when it had been almost a month since they started chatting, they made plans to actually meet.

 

‘This is my first time meeting another gay person besides myself. Ugh. I’m nervous.’

 

Seung-hyun was the type to be very mindful of others. Even he himself was aware that his personality was a bit frustrating, but he couldn’t help it since he had lived his whole life that way.

 

‘Hey. There can’t possibly be any gays near us, right?’

 

‘Fuck. Don’t say such creepy things.’

 

Since he often heard hateful remarks from people who didn’t know about his orientation, he naturally became that way. But today was different.

 

He was going to meet a same-age friend with the same orientation. Seung-hyun put on his outerwear with an excited heart and left the house.

 

“Hah. It’s colder than I thought.”

 

Seung-hyun headed to Semo Station while chatting with Nunnunnanna on his phone. What kind of person would they be? They got along well through chatting. He hoped it would be the same when they met in person.

 

‘Starting with Nunnunnanna, it would be nice  if I could gradually meet other people too.  If I get a bit more courage, maybe someday I can tell my friends that I’m gay.’

 

With a pounding heart, Seung-hyun arrived at Semo Station a little earlier than expected.

 

[Nunnunnanna: I’m working hard to get there now. I think I’ll arrive right on time. Where are you?]

 

There were still about 15 minutes left until the appointed time. Would it be too burdensome  if he said he had already arrived? After contemplating for a moment, Seung-hyun replied.

 

[I have about 3 stops left. I think I’ll arrive right on time too, so take your time getting here.]

 

After sending that reply, Seung-hyun tightly wrapped his scarf and wandered around near the store they had agreed to meet at. It was a bit chilly, but 15 minutes was nothing, he could wait.

 

“Hey. Is he really from our school?”

 

“Ah, I’m telling you he is. Have you been living in deception?”

 

While waiting just one alley away from the meeting place, a group of men around Seung-hyun’s age were smoking nearby.

 

‘Ah. I picked the wrong spot. I hate the smell of cigarettes.’

 

Seung-hyun was about to move to a different spot and put his phone in his pocket. But the moment he was about to take a step, he froze at the voice coming from around the corner.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure. Ahn Seung-hyun from the Korean Literature department. He’s definitely it.”

 

Seung-hyun blinked in surprise at the sudden mention of his name. The man, unaware that Seung-hyun was around the corner, continued speaking.

 

“I heard there’s this gay dating app, so I went on it for fun, but it was more interesting than I thought so I was chatting with a few people. And then one of them sent their schedule, and fuck, there was a class with the same name as one of our liberal arts classes.”

 

“……!!!”

 

Seung-hyun recalled when he had carelessly sent his schedule to Nunnunnanna during their conversation. Seung-hyun was so shocked he couldn’t even move, his hands trembling.

 

“So I casually asked and it was definitely our school. And there was one class he shared with Chan-gyu, so I went to check it out. There was someone using their phone at exactly the same time the replies were coming. It turned out to be him.”

 

“If this was just a coincidence, I’ll eat my hat.”

 

“I’m telling you it’s not. Well, we’ll find out in 10 minutes. You didn’t forget about the bet, right? You guys will have to pay for everything today.”

 

At the sound of their snickering laughter, Seung-hyun stepped back slightly, trembling. He thought he had found a friend he could connect with, who shared something in common, but it was all just his misunderstanding.

 

“But  if it’s true, that’s unexpected. Didn’t he have a pretty good reputation among the girls?”

 

“Hey, fuck. Then what does that matter? He’s actually…”

 

Thud. Something seemed to catch on the tip of Seung-hyun’s foot as he was stepping back, making a loud noise behind him. At that sound, a voice saying “What was that?” came from around the corner, and as soon as Seung-hyun sensed someone approaching the alley, he started running.

 

‘Idiot. I should have just kept reading novels and comics like I used to. I got greedy for no reason.’

 

He felt like a fool. He really thought he had made a friend. He was happy to have found someone to share a secret he couldn’t tell anyone. But that person was actually just making fun of him.

 

Now that Nunnunnanna was convinced he was gay, there was no telling when and what kind of rumors would spread. Seung-hyun ran mindlessly, tears streaming down his face.

 

He didn’t know what to do going forward, but for now, he just wanted to run away.

 

‘For now, let’s go back home as  if nothing happened. What should I reply so it doesn’t seem suspicious? No, the fact that contact suddenly got cut off itself is…’

 

“Oh, isn’t that Seung-hyun?”

 

“……!!”

 

“What, meeting everyone in a place like this. But… are you crying?”

 

While standing at a crosswalk, hopping from foot to foot waiting for the signal, someone recognized Seung-hyun and spoke to him. Semo Station was a bustling area not far from the university, so it wouldn’t be strange to run into someone he knew, but the timing was bad.

 

‘The signal…!’

 

The moment his university friend recognized Seung-hyun and spoke, the crosswalk signal turned green. In his urgency, Seung-hyun started running again without even looking to the side.

 

“I, I have something urgent to take care of right now.”

 

“Wai-, wait a minute. Seung-hyun. Just a sec…!”

 

He tried to give a quick greeting and run off, but his friend’s face suddenly turned pale. Before he could even question that expression, a strong impact engulfed Seung-hyun’s body.

 

Screeech-!

 

“Aaahhhhh!”

 

“Someone got hit by a car!”

 

“119 (Korean emergency number)! Quickly call 119!”

 

What was this situation? It hurts. My body feels hot. The weather was definitely cold, but why does my head feel so feverish?

 

“Seung-hyun, Seung-hyun!”

 

“Is this 119? This is the crosswalk going towards exit 4 of Semo Station. Someone got hit by a car. There’s a lot of blood. Please, come quickly.”

 

He could hear noisy sounds, but the ringing in his head was so loud he couldn’t hear well. Seung-hyun blinked slowly and inhaled.

 

“Cough…!”

 

“Ahhh!”

 

But his body, hit by a car and fallen on the asphalt, struggled to even do that, spewing hot liquid from deep inside his stomach. Seung-hyun, belatedly grasping the situation, thought,

 

‘Am I dying? So unfairly. So absurdly….  If I had known it would be like this, I wouldn’t have lived caring so much about what others think. I should have at least cursed at Nunnunnanna through chat…’

 

His body gradually became hotter and heavier.  If he had known he would die so absurdly, he wouldn’t have lived so diligently. He felt regret, but it was already too late.

 

“Seung-hyun…!”

 

Seung-hyun completely closed his eyes and collapsed on the road. His eyes closed, his ears stopped hearing, and next, the heat that had filled his head dissipated as  if a fuse had blown.

 

***

 

How much time had passed? As  if someone had plugged the severed cord behind Seung-hyun back in, the sound of voices started to be heard.

 

“Umm… It’s a bit difficult to say this.”

 

What was this? A flashback? Seung-hyun blinked blankly. As he heard the sound, his vision suddenly brightened again. A doctor in a white gown was sitting in front of Seung-hyun.

 

‘Did I survive? Is that why I’m in the hospital? But… don’t patients usually lie down? Why am I sitting up? And this doesn’t look like a hospital room…’

 

It wasn’t easy to grasp the situation. As he looked around the place he was sitting with those stupid eyes, the doctor, who had been tapping the chart with a pen with a troubled expression, met Seung-hyun’s eyes as  if he had made up his mind.

 

“It’s cancer. With this degree of metastasis… there’s essentially no treatment the hospital can provide. Other than prescribing painkillers…”

 

“…What?”

 

“6 months to a year at most. I’m sorry.”

 

“…Huh?!”

 

What kind of nonsensical talk was this? Seung-hyun, who had heard something strange, jumped up from his seat.