Episode 15

After finishing the meal, Seung-hyun left the department store with Jae-young. The luggage was already loaded in the car, and Seung-hyun, who took out a cardigan from the paper bag in the now chilly evening weather, unbuttoned his clothes. 

‘They said Busan isn’t cold. But the evening air is still chilly.’

“Alright, shall we go see the ocean now?” 

Jae-young said as he opened the passenger door of the car. Did I even mention wanting to see the ocean? Seung-hyun nodded his head with a blank look on his face.

He felt like he had accumulated a lifetime’s worth of embarrassing history in that one day he couldn’t properly remember. Jae-young may be playful, but he wasn’t someone who lied.  

‘I have a high alcohol tolerance, but… I usually didn’t drink much in front of people because I was afraid I’d reveal that I’m gay when drunk. Maybe I drank carelessly because that risk was gone.’

Seung-hyun recalled the day he turned an adult and drank as much as he could alone to figure out his alcohol tolerance. He had puzzled over whether this was really how much he could handle without getting drunk, but felt relieved when he started feeling tipsy. 

‘Well, it doesn’t matter anymore since I can’t drink now anyway.’

Seung-hyun leaned fully back in his seat. Perhaps it was because his curiosity was satisfied and the tension was released, but he felt a bit tired. 

However, he wanted to go see the ocean. At night and during the day. There was no special reason. He just wanted to because it wasn’t a place he frequented. Unlike the city where buildings blocked the view everywhere, he wanted to walk absentmindedly along the vast ocean spread out before him, listening to the sound of waves and people chattering.

“Do you like the ocean?”

“Rather than liking it… I just suddenly wanted to see it. What about you, Jae-young-ssi? Do you like the ocean?” 

“I periodically visit hotels for the future, so I consistently end up going to the ocean. Both Jeju and Busan have ocean views. But this might be the first time I’m intentionally going to see the ocean.”

Jae-young said while gripping the steering wheel. It was unexpected. He seemed to suit the ocean well.

“You can easily see it without having to go all the way to the beach. I don’t think I ever considered it special.”

“Is that so.” 

Not special, huh. Seung-hyun himself wanted to go to the ocean because it wasn’t a place he frequented. It was probably the same for everyone. The special draws you in more than the ordinary.

“Then… is there a place you want to visit, or something like that, Jae-young-ssi?”

“Hmm… not really.  If I had to pick one, I want to go to the villa in the US. It’s a nice place in many ways, but my parents tell me to stick to Korea and come running whenever they call  if I have nothing else to do. So I can’t go often.”

It was a Jae-young-like answer. Seung-hyun chuckled at that response. 

“If you were able to go there whenever you wanted, would you still have wanted to go to that villa?”

“Well… probably not.”

Jae-young replied after some thought. Even  if he could always go, it was likely a good place, but it probably wouldn’t have come to mind like now when asked where he wanted to visit.

“There were many places I couldn’t go even if I wanted to. The ocean just came to mind first.”

“That makes sense, Director Han… no, Seung-hyun-ssi, you were busy. Is that why you quit?”

“Yes. I want to do everything I want. It’s not like I don’t have money, and my stocks and real estate under my name won’t disappear even if I quit being a director. Why suffer doing what I don’t want to do?”

Seung-hyun said, recalling the Han Seung-hyun in the novel. He had lots of money, so why did he struggle so hard for recognition and position instead of just living as he pleased? It was something Seung-hyun couldn’t understand.  

“Now that I know, even if it’s late, I should live the rest of my life without regrets.”

Seung-hyun said with a shrug. Having a set end didn’t seem as bad as he thought. Even if it was a little hard to accept, it was definitely better than suddenly ending one day.

“You sound like you’re about to die. If someone heard you, they’d think you’re almost seventy rather than twenty-nine.”

Actually, there was someone younger than twenty-nine inside, but considering the days Seung-hyun had left, being a seventy-year-old man might be better. Seung-hyun thought to himself and laughed softly. 

“Kek kek… Jae-young-ssi, you really have no eye for people.”

“Did you just laugh?”

“What?”

Seung-hyun, who had been snickering, looked at Jae-young at the sudden remark. Jae-young, who had stopped the car at a red light, met Seung-hyun’s gaze.

“Uh, is laughing not allowed?”

“No, that’s not it… I just think it’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh like that. I can’t look to the side while driving. If only the light had turned red a little sooner.”

“…You’re a more model driver than I thought.”

“It’s more that I’m not confident in my driving.”

“Pardon?”

Seung-hyun blinked with a dumbfounded look. He had thought Jae-young hadn’t taken his eyes off the front since earlier. 

“Don’t tell me… you have a license but can’t drive?” 

“It’s not that. The car I usually drive has the driver’s seat on the opposite side, so I’m not used to this one.”

Is that fortunate or not? Seung-hyun made a distrustful face after hearing something he would have rather not known.

“How did you get here then?”

“I took a plane this morning. This car is a spare that was left at the hotel.”

“Ah.”

Right, no crazy person would choose an unfamiliar car to drive for nearly five hours. He had overestimated Jae-young because he seemed a bit crazy.

The light changed and Jae-young gripped the steering wheel again. But Seung-hyun, whose distrust hadn’t disappeared, didn’t say anything to Jae-young and just fiddled with his cell phone.  

“…Isn’t that too much? I’m not that much of a novice driver.”

“What’s too much? Just focus on driving.”

Seung-hyun harshly retorted to Jae-young’s words. The car arrived at the beach not long after, and Seung-hyun set foot on the ocean he had only been looking at through the window.

“Isn’t it cold?”

“It’s fine. I have a cardigan too.”  

Seung-hyun strode across the sandy beach without hesitation. The sun had fully set, but thanks to the lights from the buildings located here and there, the ocean clearly revealed its appearance. 

Swish-.

The sound of the cool breeze and waves filled Seung-hyun’s head. As expected, there was a difference between just looking out at it and seeing it right before his eyes.

“It’s refreshing.”

Seung-hyun closed his eyes for a moment as he faced the sea breeze. The wind was a little chilly, but not cold enough to be unbearable. He liked this level of cold. 

“You must have felt very suffocated. Seoul is a bit like that. Lots of people, lots of annoying people.”

Jae-young, who had followed Seung-hyun, spoke. He was holding a plastic bag in his hand, having bought something in the meantime.

“What’s that now?”

“Oh, this.” 

When Seung-hyun asked about the plastic bag, Jae-young rummaged through it with a rustle and took out what was inside. A stick-like object made of steel emerged from the bag.

“What is that?”

“Everyone else seemed to be doing it.”

Jae-young said, pointing to where there were many people. Following his finger, Seung-hyun saw people playing with fireworks.

“Ah. So that’s what this is?”

“They said it’s called a sparkler. They were selling them over there.”

Jae-young pointed to a street vendor. Seung-hyun, thinking of Jae-young who had been calculating there earlier, snickered again. 

“Do they take cards there too?”

“What era do you think this is? Of course they do. They said bank transfers work too.”

Jae-young said, looking at Seung-hyun’s face. He must have laughed like this a little while ago too. Jae-young couldn’t take his eyes off Seung-hyun’s mischievous smile that was just as playful as his laughter.

“Do you have a lighter?”

“Ah, they gave me one earlier. Here.”

Jae-young, who had been rummaging through the plastic bag, found a cheap lighter. Seung-hyun, awkwardly flicking the lighter, lit the sparkler. 

“Wow.”

Seung-hyun’s eyes sparkled as he watched the flames burn in a pretty shape. He had been so nonchalant about a meal that cost around 10,000 won per bite, but now he was so excited over a stick that cost a little over 1,000 won each. Jae-young found that a bit fascinating about Seung-hyun.

“Have you done this before, Jae-young-ssi?” 

“No. I just found out such a thing existed.”

“Try it.”

A little while ago, he had acted like a seventy or eighty-year-old man, but now he was acting like a high school student who had just graduated. Was that why it felt more fun?

Seeing Seung-hyun, who handed him a sparkler, Jae-young asked, 

“Then, are we friends now?”