I caught a brief glimpse of my dad without meaning to.

He was also looking my way.

His deep purple eyes, heavy-lidded as if sweeping over me, gently flickered. I smiled back, reassured.

Evan answered leisurely.

“You’re perfectly normal, Claire. No nine-year-old Astariol would have been as normal as you.”

“… really?”

“Do you think it’s <normal> for someone born human not to understand the human heart, even if it’s a demigod?”

“…”

“You must have thought so, and try to understand others?”

“… yes.”

Evan, who had drawn such an accurate guess about my feelings, lounged lazily and carelessly.

But my doubts remained unaddressed.

As I stared quietly, he seemed slightly flustered.

“It would be easier if you’re just a normal Astariol… although you could understand, it’s actually a bit difficult to talk about.”

“Why?”

“You might say that if you don’t understand, but if you do then it would sound very strange.”

Those words were spoken by someone who clearly understood Astariol’s logic.

The words of someone who understood the minds of those who judged the world with reason, logic, and rationality.

Ah, this person was really close to Dad.

Just as that thought came to mind, Evan kept his sagging posture and placed his clasped hands on the back of his neck.

A defenseless and languid attitude.

But on the other hand, his face gradually became expressionless. His smooth green eyes looked into mine.

“Haven’t you ever thought about it? Eciel’s name comes from Ashel. Where do you think your name came from?”

… why did that matter now?

I hesitated to answer.

“I’m sorry, I don’t really know. I’ve always just… thought Mom liked the name.”

Names were one of the most inherent acquired factors.

‘Most parents choose their child’s name before they’re born.’

Names generally left little room for personal opinion. Without one’s opinion, it was easy to remain indifferent to the origin.

I was the same.

Evan lazily reached for his teacup, lifting it with an air of knowing.

“Want a clue? You know my son’s name. Want to link them?”

I frowned slightly.

‘… Callen and Claire are names from the same person?’

I had never thought of that.

A person respected by both Mom and the Emperor, could there be someone with a similar-sounding name?

Almost immediately, a person came to mind that made me wonder why I hadn’t thought of it before.

Evan replied casually.

“Clarice. My mother.”

… why hadn’t I thought of it until now?

Evan took a sip of tea, seemingly expecting this.

It was a movement that reflected the elaborate etiquette of the imperial family, clean and smooth although seemingly containing endless number of haphazard details.

“Last time I said that Charlotte had a good relationship with my mother and me, right? Actually… I should say that we grew up like real brother and sister. Like how you and Eciel are twins.”

I bit my lip.

I remembered thinking at first glance that he looked more like a boy teasing his sibling.

I never thought about why they seemed so close.

‘It wasn’t uncommon for cousins of the imperial family to be so close.’

Evan didn’t necessarily expect an answer from me either.

He spoke lightly and dryly, like a passing autumn sunlight or breeze.

“Charlotte showed magical potential from an early age. Since my uncle was a wizard who barely received a robe, he didn’t like her. He really, really, really didn’t. My inexperienced mother took Charlotte from him and raised her with me.”

As he said this, Evan glanced briefly towards the banquet hall. Remembering the days of playing with his sister like any siblings would.

His gaze collected only beautiful fragments of the past.

“Charlotte was smart even as a child, good at magic, and had a strong sense of self. She knew her place from an early age. When she turned ten, she packed her bags and left for the tower.”

“… ten?”

“Yeah. I thought she was a real genius, but she got a robe after half a year of training. My uncle was probably dying of jealousy.”

He chuckled briefly, then looked sadly at his cup.

Suddenly, I understood.

If Nathan Colta was my abyss, then Evan’s was my mother.

“Anyway… why did I do that? Because I wanted to hate Charlotte freely. I wanted her to hate me back.”

“…”

It was a small, clumsy confession.

Not from the good Emperor who overthrew the tyrant, but from Evan, a boy who once played with his cousin.

“Someone as smart, proud, and capable as her, making such a big mistake in life. Why did it have to be that? Why… did my mother have to die from her magic?”

It was a question I couldn’t answer.

“When I disguised myself as Ashel’s escort knight and saw her again, I wanted to ask her why she gave magic so recklessly, causing irreversible harm. But what’s funny is that I already knew the answer. So, I went even crazier.”

“… what was the reason?”

“A direct imperial family member with extraordinary magic, intelligence, and personality like a sword, enough to be praised as the next magic tower lord. Don’t you know, Claire?”

Despite knowing my father’s piercing gaze, I bit my lip, turning blue.

Evan dangerously said the following in a monotone voice.

“Charlotte was a strong candidate for the imperial succession.”

I couldn’t say anything.

Evan didn’t particularly expect an answer either.

“She just… wanted to silence my uncle with the magic she had built up all her life. It was even more bleak because Charlotte underestimated her father’s madness and ambition. That was the biggest mistake in her life.”

How complex the human mind was. How deep, vague, and murky it was.

Evan whispered as if he was confessing, resembling a young boy more than an Emperor.

“I feel bad for Charlotte. I know how guilty she feels, how sad she is, and how much pain she feels. I can see it clearly from her every minute.”

“…..”

“However… I hate Charlotte. I know that I shouldn’t do this, and I know why she did it, but I still hate her. She keeps reminding me of my mother.”

In the end, who Evan avoided was my mother, rather than my father.

Because of the abyss that rose from beneath his heart every time he saw Mom.

Because he loved his <dear cousin> as a family member… he wanted to hate her as much as he wanted, but he couldn’t.

I thought I understood why this person barely wanted to see Eciel. Because Eciel looked excessively like my mother.

Mom when she was young, small, and innocent.

Probably, the same one Evan remembered from his childhood.

“Sometimes people do crazy things even when they know it’s going to end in conflict with Ashel. It was an incredibly impulsive and dangerous thing that can’t be explained by any reason or emotion. That’s what I did that day, Claire.”

“….”

“Therefore… why I did that, I don’t even understand. That’s all I can say. I hate Charlotte, and I want her to hate me because I hope I could hate her freely.”

Sorrow hung mockingly like dew.

Pity that flowed vaguely like dawn.

Evan made eye contact with me with a tired and exhausted face.

His attitude of not feeling ashamed even after openly expressing one’s feelings resembled my mother.

I spoke out hesitantly.

“… did Mom start to hate His Majesty that day?”

“Her?”

Evan smiled dryly.

“Charlotte stopped Ashel from almost killing me when she shouldn’t have done anything.”

“You also know.”

“It was better that way. I thought Charlotte knew this feeling too, of wanting to hate someone but unable to.”

His eyes were very calm.

He wasn’t like someone who had acted impulsively out of the spur of moment.

But people had many facets.

Just as the person who spoke his mind calmly before now commented on things without thinking.

He might say that I had seen his best side first, but maybe it was the most visible of his many sides.

Sparkling, infinitely good, and lovingly gentle.

So much so that even I, who didn’t know much about other people’s emotions, could tell.

I spoke quietly.

“… I still think His Majesty brought me there with good intentions.”

“If I really mean well, wouldn’t I have removed the magic circle long ago?”

A rare cold response. When I looked up quietly, the Emperor’s green eyes twisted with regret.

I responded like the Emperor.

“I don’t know much about magic… but if it was a magic that could be undone, wouldn’t Dad have broken it and returned the magic to Mom?”

Before I saw the Emperor myself, I thought the magic was Dad’s leash and shackles, that it was so useful that Mom had been pardoned.

Dad said that too.