“…… so, I shouldn’t go out either……”

“You know that, right? You’re the first person to be isolated from this disease. Your daughters are young, and you can make disinfectant. You can go out. You have to.”

“Deputy Abbot……”

“Think about your daughters, not us. Hurry up and leave. We’ve vowed to die here, but you haven’t.”

Mom packed her things while crying.

But there were more things we truly loved and cherished outside that room.

The little flowers Eciel planted herself. The small watering can that was given to me.

And most importantly, the people.

The abbot. The deputy abbot. The librarian priest. The food distribution priest. The people who greeted us every morning.

A world full of faith and goodwill.

Even outside the monastery, reading the scriptures, looking after the old priests, and searching for the myths the abbot told us about was because I missed that world.

Because we could never go back.

Even I felt that way, so how could Eciel be any different?

Eciel, who could barely speak, kept whining to Mom.

“Why do we have to leave? Why?”

When Mom didn’t answer, Eciel changed her target to me.

“I want to see my flowers.”

Her tone was filled with the stubbornness characteristic of children. I hesitated a little.

‘That probably doesn’t mean she just wants to see the flowers.’

Behind the flowerbed where the flowers were planted was the abbot’s room. It was a spot the abbot had personally prepared for us and told us we could visit anytime.

So, what Eciel meant was that she wanted to see the abbot.

Mom had told us not to meet anyone.

“…… no.”

Only after hearing my answer did Mom feel relieved and finish packing.

In contrast, Eciel looked dissatisfied.

But I couldn’t let my sister go.

…… because the abbot was no longer there.

Despair, prayers, tears, pleas, groans. The wind carried many things to me without hiding anything.

Until the acrid ash of death, endlessly swirling within the small monastery, became vividly clear before my eyes.

Knowing its cruel and overwhelming influence, I couldn’t bear the thought of Eciel witnessing it.

“…… let’s go.”

There wasn’t much to pack.

Mom carefully put hoods on us and covered her own mouth and nose.

On a midsummer night, the fields, which no one tended anymore, were teeming with insects, and the corridors, devoid of people, were pitch dark.

But more than anything, it wasn’t the lack of visibility that was the darkest.

As soon as we stepped outside, the wind brought tales of utter despair.

The deadly disease was mingling with the heat of the summer night, consuming people’s lives.

‘…… ah.’

I stopped in my tracks, still holding Mom’s hand at the threshold.

The certainty that with each step forward, the deaths of people I knew would draw closer.

What was even more terrifying was that I couldn’t block out the wind. For fear of hearing the news of someone still alive.

Mom’s voice, anxious, thinking I was throwing a tantrum like Eciel, faintly reached my ears.

“Claire.”

But what truly moved me was not Mom’s voice.

The deputy abbot, waiting far away to open the back door, shouted sternly.

“Claire, Eciel. Walk!”

Eciel cried at those words, but I did not.

Because it didn’t feel real.

‘Is this real?’

If all these deaths the wind was whispering were real, how could the deputy abbot stand so calmly?

Beyond the back door, a cart was visible. It seemed hastily arranged.

The back of the cart, barely covered with some makeshift seats, was wide open.

Mom put the luggage in the cart and helped Eciel and me up. The driver in front called out sharply to Mom.

“Payment upfront! It’s a long journey!”

Mom hesitated for a moment but eventually headed towards the driver, having no other choice.

Meanwhile, the deputy abbot stood silently by the back door, neither coming closer nor moving further away.

Eciel and I sat in the cart, staring at the deputy abbot. Eciel’s body, still not completely done crying, shuddered next to me, hiccupping.

The usual deputy abbot would have come over and gently patted my sister by now.

But that day, the deputy abbot never came closer. After that one shout, he simply stood there, looking at us.

Eciel seemed hurt by that.

“Deputy abbot……”

My sister’s voice was full of tears. I didn’t know what to do and lowered my gaze.

Two and a half years were enough to form a bond with him.

But at the same time, two and a half years were not enough to understand that this was an act for our sake.

In that moment of looking down.

My sister suddenly leapt up, resolutely bolting away.

Tap, tap, tap……

She tried to jump out of the cart. The deputy abbot froze, unable to even shout.

So did I.

‘No.’

The wind was still whispering death from all directions.

The rampant plague was prowling for new victims. Even now, someone was desperately trying to cling to the thin thread of life but finally losing it.

Eciel was about to run into such a place.

‘No……’

I acted before I thought I could.

I grabbed her in midair. I caught her and sat her back down.

It was the first time I had used it that way.

Until then, I had only listened to the stories the wind carried. I never expected anything more from it.

But the wind obeyed me willingly. It was only after doing it that I realized it was possible.

The deputy abbot looked at me with wide eyes.

I looked back at him.

Not fully understanding what I had done.

If the deputy abbot had called me a demon or screamed at me then.

I might have been hurt a little sooner……

But he just very, very softly whispered. His stern eyes filling with tears.

“…… I seek a blessing.”

A sound I wouldn’t have heard if not for the wind. His trembling hand made the sign of the cross. Earnestly, desperately.

I didn’t deeply ponder its meaning. I didn’t carefully remember it either.

Because Eciel, startled, was holding onto me.

“What was that? Did Claire do it? What was that?”

Calming Eciel was more urgent then.

“Promise you’ll listen to Mom and be quiet. Then I’ll show you how I did it next time.”

Eciel nodded. Just then, Mom hurried back to the cart after finishing negotiations with the driver.

That was how we left the monastery and wandered for a very long time afterward.

There weren’t only bad moments, but none were as peaceful as the two and a half years spent at the monastery.

Good memories could be easily tainted by a handful of bad ones. But why couldn’t we erase bad memories with hands full of good ones?

Buried under countless bad memories, his words remained an enigma.

Now, at nine years old, I understood.

Those words were a greeting to Astariol.

 

* * *

 

I retrieved the memory that surfaced, polished it, and gently rolled it in my hands, examining it closely.

What thoughts crossed the deputy abbot’s mind as he sent Astariol out of the monastery pushed to the extreme?

‘He probably wished for divine salvation and a miracle.’

I didn’t know where that place was.

I didn’t even know if it still existed.

There was no way it was maintained exactly as I remembered it.

Still……

‘…… could he still be alive?’

If he was alive, I’d like to meet and help him. Even if it was too late……

I still held the pen in my hand. The first attempt was slightly hesitant.

But the next steps were easier.

8. Monastery: The Priests.

Eciel probably didn’t remember. But my memories were still vivid.

The soft sound of prayers, the hands that hugged and comforted us, the smiles that bloomed whenever our eyes met. The small, quiet monastery.

All those memories I still cherished.

Was Eciel trying to convey this? Telling me to recall those good moments she didn’t remember but I do?

‘…… no, she probably didn’t think that deeply.’

Even as I thought so, I smiled a little.

Back then, she was too young to understand the deputy abbot’s goodwill. But my nine-year-old sister could now fully grasp the goodwill of that day.

<The Priests>. The black letters on the white paper stood out clearly. It was rare to be so sure about something I liked.

I waited for the ink to dry and then picked up the paper, heading out of my room.

‘Dad listened to the story about Nathan, so he’ll listen to this too.’

If possible, I’d like to give them gold worth my weight.

It was late, well past dinner. Normally, I’d call for a maid to wash up and end the day.

Two maids, lighting the corridor lamps before the sun set, were surprised to see me.

“Oh my, young lady! Where are you suddenly heading?”

“Where’s Dad?”

Neither answered immediately.

Of course, being maids, they wouldn’t know all the details of their Master’s whereabouts, even if they were allowed on the family floor.

To find out……

“The master is in the garden, Miss. The Madam is there too.”

The butler answered as he rounded the corner.

I would have to send the wind to find my parents.

Though I had a rough idea of their location, the garden of the ducal mansion was vast.

“Thank you, Dawson.”

I expressed my gratitude and was about to move away when the butler spoke up.

“Miss, why not try the balcony? You can see the whole back garden from there.”

It was a good suggestion.