Episode 5. Trauma

What would people’s reactions be when they actually see a visually stunning celebrity?
Usually, they would express admiration or send a gaze of admiration.
I didn’t think that was wrong.
As long as people don’t ridicule someone below their standards according to their aesthetic criteria.
Well, humans are fundamentally creatures that pursue beauty.
“I’m not much different myself.”
When a pretty celebrity appears on TV, I fixate on the channel, and when I see a handsome actor, I envy them a bit.
But I wasn’t the type to obsess over aesthetics.
It wasn’t because I thought I was handsome.
It was just a matter of perspective.
“What I detest intensely…”
It’s not my external appearance, but myself.
To be precise, it’s my weak and incompetent self.
That’s why I’ve never felt impressed by someone even if they were aesthetically superior, even if they were considered the prettiest and coolest celebrities in Korea.
And I thought it would continue to be that way.
But that was shattered today.
“Does this make sense..?”
It wasn’t a famous celebrity or a top actor.
A small creature sitting in front of me shocked me.
Round eyes. Brownish irises within them. Small lips on a petite nose.
Cheeks tinged with blush, ones you’d want to pinch…
Wait a moment.
What am I saying? Evaluating a child’s face like this?
It seems I momentarily lost my senses.
Anyway, the little angel I saw was Yondu.
Not a top actor or an idol, but my daughter Yondu.
There was no need for further explanation.
Yondu was just too beautiful. And cute.
Even though her hair was still messy.
“Dad!”
She was already cute, but now she was insanely adorable.
Am I being materialistic? No, so what?
I already said it before. This is what I’m like.
But let me say it again: I’m not the type to obsess over external things.
In other words, if someone is pretty enough, I wouldn’t say such things.
“Without a doubt.”
Yondu is the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen on this earth.
Not even comparable to those mixed-race babies described as beautiful in magazines or on the internet.
No, it’s not just limited to babies. It’s incomparable to any exceptionally beautiful person.
Can’t Asians ever beat Westerners in terms of visuals?
Yeah. This is a confession of conscience, but honestly, I used to think so too.
But not anymore from today.
Poke.
Someone poked my arm.
Surprised, I looked, and it was a young hairdresser cutting Yondu’s hair.
She spoke with a somewhat stern look.
“I’m sorry, sorry!”
“.. Yes?”
“You shouldn’t cover such a pretty daughter’s face with hair. You really shouldn’t!”
“Ah..”
The other customers also chimed in.
“That’s right, that’s right! It’s bad, really!”
“Wow, how can a child be so pretty? She’s like a fairy from heaven~”
“But she seems to have her father’s face a bit. So now, pull yourself together and raise her well!”
“Well, yeah. Since the dad looks so warm, a kid like that comes out. Oh, look at those eyes!”
Sorry, but she’s not my biological daughter. Of course, I only said that in my mind.
I had to endure a lot of scolding from many customers because of Yondu’s beauty.
I couldn’t explain Yondu’s painful family history to those who spoke ill of me.
For Yondu’s sake, I had only one thing to say in this situation.
I smiled slightly and spoke up.
“Haha, I’m sorry. I’ll raise her well.”
Even after saying that, the gossiping ladies didn’t leave Yondu’s side.
They kept throwing words at me one by one.
Well, if I decided to raise her, I had to bear this much.
It wasn’t a big problem for me to be misunderstood a little.
But…
“No!”
It seemed to be a problem for Yondu.
“My dad isn’t a bad person! Don’t talk bad about my dad!!”
Clutching the armrests of her chair with both hands, Yondu fiercely glared at the customers who were saying something to me.
I thought people would be happy to hear that their child is pretty, but it was the opposite.
Is she angry? Because they spoke ill of me?
It’s the first time I’ve seen Yondu angry like this.
But why do I feel so emotional? What’s going on?
Is it because it’s been so long since someone stood up to those who spoke ill of me?
“Haha, it’s okay, Yondu. Dad’s fine.”
“Really? Dad’s not upset..?”
“Of course not.”
I smiled and reassured Yondu.
Fortunately, the ladies didn’t seem to feel bad at all.
No, it seemed quite the opposite?
“Did you get mad because they talked bad about your dad? Oh, you’re so adorable.”
“Oh, Yondu. I’m sorry.”
The hairdresser chuckled at the situation.
Then she said,
“I cut the bangs a little for now since I didn’t ask how to cut them. How should I cut Yondu’s hair?”
“Um..”
I looked at Yondu and asked.
“How would you like your hair, Yondu?”
“Like a princess.”
I chuckled.
It seems that the word ‘princess’ I mentioned earlier really appealed to Yondu.
I looked at the hairdresser and asked,
“Is that possible?”
The hairdresser immediately replied.
“Of course. She’s already a princess. And our salon’s name is Princess Hair!”
“Then please.”
“Hehe, leave it to me.”
The hairdresser skillfully held the scissors.
“I’m scared..”
“Hmm?”
“Dad’s here…”
“Haha, I am.”
Yondu, holding my hand, was braver than I thought.
The haircutting session to make her a princess began.
“Wow..”
“How is it?”
“I admit it. You’re really talented.”
“Hehe.”
There was no choice but to admit it.Yondu, with her newly cut hair, looked like an undisputed princess. Such a beautiful princess might not exist anywhere on Earth.
The small face framed by naturally cascading hair down to her shoulders was beautiful. The slightly messy hair transformed into glossy strands, devoid of any frizziness.
No matter how her hair was styled before, it wouldn’t have been attractive, but this exceeded the limit I had in mind.
“Wow, beautiful. Can I take a picture of the child?”
The permed-hair lady who had been watching Yondu without leaving her seat asked.
However, I politely declined.
“I’m sorry, but photos… it’s not appropriate.”
There was no need to unnecessarily attract attention while out with my child.
Come to think of it, Yondu hadn’t been with me for even a day yet.
She wasn’t really like a father, either.
‘And…’
Now, I was Yondu’s father.
Five years old is an age with limited judgment.
Given the circumstances, I wanted to be careful and take care of even the small things.
That’s a father’s duty.
“Hehe, no problem. I made an unreasonable request because the child is too pretty.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
I said, stroking Yondu.
“Do you like your hair, Yondu?”
“Dad, what about…?”
“Hmm?”
“Yondu’s hair… does Dad like it?”
I slightly pinched Yondu’s fresh cheeks.
“Of course. Isn’t Yondu the prettiest in the world? Just like a princess.”
“.. Princess?”
“Yeah, a princess.”
Yondu, seeming in a good mood, jumped in place, smiling more brightly than any other child.
“Be careful, don’t hurt yourself.”
“Yes, Dad!”
I raised such a bright child.
Thinking about it again, it annoyed me.
“Thank you, then I’ll be going.”
“Sure, come again. Oh, and this!”
The hairdresser pulled something out and handed it to me.
“Is this… a business card?”
It was a business card with the logo of a designer named Yu Jihan.
She smiled and said, “Yes. When you come next time, please talk to her about it. We’ll cut it even more beautifully than today.”
“Haha, I’ll make sure to do that.”
“Then, please come in!”

As soon as I left the hair salon, I checked the time.
The clock was just past 5 PM.
Since I went for condolences early and left not long after, it wasn’t very late yet.
As I checked the time, I found myself in a dilemma.
‘What should I do?’
I was debating whether to just go home or not.
There was a reason why I had to think about this.
‘Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu.’
Today was Monday, the day I usually worked part-time at the convenience store.
Normally, I worked from Monday to Friday, but for some reason, I worked those five days.
And today was Monday.
In other words, I had to work part-time for the next five days starting tomorrow.
It meant I didn’t have much time to invest in Yondu.
‘I need to make the most of the time remaining today…’
Thinking for a moment, many things needed for Yondu came to mind.
Of course, doing all of them today was impossible.
Among them, I needed to choose the most necessary one.
What should it be? The judgment for this was not difficult.
‘A hospital.’
I had to take Yondu to the hospital.
Given the environment she was in, I was very worried.
Was Yondu’s body okay? Were there any neglected pains?
So, I wanted her to have a checkup, just in case.
“Hey, Yondu.”
Calling her name, Yondu looked at me with her round eyes.
No matter how many times I looked, her appearance was unbelievable.
How could a five-year-old baby have such harmonious features?
It’s not that she looked mature. She was undoubtedly a five-year-old.
“Yondu, are you feeling okay?”
“I’m not tired!”
“Okay, how about we go to the hospital with Dad?”
“The hospital…?”
“Yeah. I’m going to take you there to see if there’s any pain or discomfort. To the doctor.”
Her face looked a bit apprehensive.
Maybe she didn’t know what a hospital was?
Fortunately, there was a pediatric clinic right next to the hair salon.
I held Yondu’s hand and headed towards the adjacent building.
I wasn’t sure if the pediatric clinic offered a detailed examination, but I would find out once we got there.
Even for me, going to the hospital wasn’t a familiar place.
Sss…
The automatic door opened, and I entered the hospital.
There seemed to be almost no waiting patients.
I walked towards the counter and greeted the nurse.
“Hello.”
“Welcome. Is it your first time here?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Could the guardian write down the address and name here?”
“Sure.”
As I scribbled with the pen, the nurses’ eyes turned towards Yondu.
Their reactions weren’t much different from the ladies at the hair salon.
“Wow, hi!”
“She’s so pretty… What’s her name?”
Yondu, either out of curiosity or attention, murmured softly while holding my hand.
“I’m… Yondu.”
“Hehe, Yondu! Nice to meet you!”
I said to the hesitant Yondu, “Yondu, you should say hello to the nurses.”
Only after saying that did I realize how much my comment sounded like that of a real dad.
Yondu quickly smiled and replied to me, “Yes, Dad!”
And without being asked, she bowed slightly and greeted the nurses.
Without exaggeration, the nurses seemed to collapse from the cuteness overload.
For just saying hello, they were overwhelmed.
After greeting them, Yondu grabbed my leg without me asking.
“What did I just witness? So adorable….”
“I thought you might be a cousin because you’re so young, but you’re her dad!”
“I’ve never seen such a beautiful child before!”
“Haha, thank you.”
I smiled proudly and gently stroked Yondu’s head.
Soon, Yondu’s name was called.
“You can go in now.”
Leaving the nurses behind, I entered the doctor’s office.
Inside, there was a female doctor and a nurse.
Unlike the nurses outside, both of them seemed quite old.
“Hello.”
“Yes, come in. Oh, what a beautiful little princess you are! We were wondering why the nurses outside were chatting so much.”
I smiled and helped Yondu sit down.
The doctor spoke, “So, where does our princess feel unwell?”
I answered in her place, “Rather than feeling unwell… we’re here to get a detailed examination done.”
“A detailed examination?”
“Yes. There are some circumstances that made us want to have one.”
The doctor raised an eyebrow.
Then she took out a familiar tool and said, “Alright. Shall we take a look at the little one’s belly?”
It seemed like she was going to use the stethoscope on her belly.
But Yondu hesitated and shook her head shyly.
Was it because of me? Was she embarrassed to show her belly with me here?
“Are you feeling shy, Yondu? I’ll turn around…”
“No, I won’t do it!”
Seeing Yondu like that, I felt something unsettling.
It felt like the sudden refusal I saw on the street.
It felt like fear, something deeper.
“Trauma…?”
The probability of being so scared of the stethoscope seemed slim.
Even though she was a bit scared of scissors at the salon, she didn’t mind holding my hand, so…
Unlike me, the doctor didn’t seem particularly interested.
Had she seen many children react like this?
She asked the nurse next to her, “Could you help me?”
“Yes.”
“Sorry, Yondu. Just a moment?”
Before I could do anything, they skillfully pulled up Yondu’s clothes.
In other words, they forced her to do it.
“Nooo! I won’t do it!”
Yondu thrashed about wildly.
It was so incomprehensible at first.
But soon enough, I understood.
Why Yondu hesitated to reveal her body until now wasn’t because she was embarrassed.
She wasn’t shy.
The expressions of the doctor and the nurse changed dramatically.
But the one whose expression changed the most was none other than me.
I really… felt like dog.