The furnishings in the room had not changed in four years, and everything was spotless. Lu Qi hugged and rubbed the quilt. It smelled of fresh sunshine.

He was full of expectation. Maybe his parents were finally willing to understand and accept him.

Just thinking about it like this caused him to be unable to sleep. He happily took out his phone and found that Mu Nanqiao had already replied to him. 

[Sorry, I’m flying to Germany tomorrow. I’ve sent someone to take care of Xiao Sanhua, and they will send photos regularly. Don’t worry]

Attached was a picture of Xiao Sanhua. It seemed that there was more than one person in the room, and the other one was sweeping a strip of toilet paper across the floor. 

Lu Qi smiled, but he was a little worried about Mu Nanqiao.

There was a rustling sound next door. His parents were also tossing and turning.

After spending the night in a daze, he was woken up by Mu Nanqiao’s phone call the next day.

Lu Qi rubbed his eyes and asked in a sticky voice: “Hello? Are you there?”

Mu Nanqiao laughed, his voice hoarse after staying up late. “I haven’t taken off yet. Do you think I’m going by special plane? Lu baby?”

Lu Qi was confused for a moment before realizing what he had called him. The phone next to his ear seemed to become hot. He didn’t dispute this issue, and asked Mu Nanqiao: “What’s the hurry, has something happened?”

“Well, to sum it up, it’s not a bad thing.” Mu Nanqiao said, “The season has come to make the Lin family go bankrupt.” 

Lu Qi was amused by him, and turned over on the bed. 

“Is everything okay at home?” Mu Nanqiao asked. There was a boarding reminder sound on his side.

“Okay, ya, why wouldn’t things be okay at home?” Lu Qi sat up and reached for the clothes draped on a chair. “Go and take care of your work. We’ll talk about it when you have time.”

“Okay.” It was noisy on Mu Nanqiao’s side. He said a few words to someone else, then turned back to Lu Qi and said, “I’ll bring you a gift when I come back.”

. . . . . . .

Breakfast was very rich, including soft, golden pumpkin and millet porridge, homemade steamed buns, and several refreshing side dishes. When Lu Qi came out of his room, Lu Fanshu happened to be wearing an apron and carrying a small pot. Upon seeing him, she immediately asked: “Why didn’t you sleep more?”

Lu Qi took the pot: “I couldn’t sleep. Mom, what’s wrong with Dad’s leg? Is it serious? I’ll accompany him to the hospital after dinner.”

“It’s nothing serious, it’s fine.” Lu Fangshu’s eyes reddened again. The mother and son sat down. She covered herself and picked up food with chopsticks for Lu Qi, asking in a low voice: “Have your studies gone well these past four years?”

“En, pretty well. My classmates were all very kind, and my teachers were all very responsible.” Lu Qi said: “I’m going to take the postgraduate entrance examination next year.”

Lu Fangshu asked: “Why aren’t you taking the entrance examination this year?”

Lu Qi hesitated for a moment before deciding to tell the truth: “Mom, I had a minor operation.”

The chopsticks dropped with a snap, and Lu Fangshu couldn’t help but cry: “Why didn’t you tell your family…..”

At this point, she couldn’t ask further.

“It’s okay, I’ve recovered.” Lu Qi took out a couple of tissues and reached out to wipe the tears from her face. “Mom, can I come back to see you often in the future?”

Lu Fangshu tilted her head and let out a choked sigh.

. . . . . . .

After staying at home for two days and accompanying his dad to the hospital, Lin Chunhe’s leg was almost healed. The plaster was removed, and he still had to rest.

On the afternoon of the second day after going to the hospital, Lu Fanshu went out and asked Lu Qi to accompany her. She had made an appointment with her friend at a Cantonese restaurant. This aunt and Lu Qi knew each other. When he was a child, his mom was busy with work, so he was often left at this aunt’s house. She was a very gentle person. Lu Fanshu had no biological sisters, and Lu Qi originally wanted to go and visit this aunt.

But before setting off, something happened. Lin Chunhe, who had always loved his wife dearly, had a quarrel with Lu Fangshu. Lu Qi was bathing at the time and could only faintly hear the two arguing, but couldn’t hear what the quarrel was about. In the end, as usual, Lin Chunhe seemed to compromise.

He stared at Lu Qi and hesitated to speak, saying in the end: “Xiao Qi, ah, you must come back for dinner tonight. Dad will make your favorite pork knuckle. It is simmering in the pot, and will be just right when you come back in the evening.”

Lin Chunhe did not understand that his son was no longer a high school student who had just grown up. Lu Qi had been living alone these years, and it wasn’t as if he hadn’t encountered any difficulties or hostility. He was not a person who was proficient with the ways of the world, but he had learned how to read faces. Seeing Lin Chunhe like this, his heartstrings that had gradually relaxed tightened again.

On the way there, Lu Qi asked Lu Fanshu: “Mom, are you hiding something from me?”

Lu Fangshu’s eyes flickered: “What could I be hiding from you?”

“Mom.” Lu Qi called her softly. “Are we just going to see Aunt Su today?”

Lu Fangshu was silent.

Lu Qi said calmly and politely: “Sir, stop at the side of the road. Thank you.”

The driver gave him a strange look: “The starting price is ten yuan…..”

Lu Qi scanned the QR code to pay, then opened the door and got out.

“Lu Qi!” Lu Fangshu followed him out of the taxi and grabbed his arm. She didn’t know when, but those chubby white arms like lotus roots had changed to the slender look they had now. She could no longer hold one in one hand, but had to encircle it with both. She begged in a whisper: “Xiao Qi, listen to Mom. Today we are going to meet Aunt Su’s niece. You must try to have contact with girls. How do you know you don’t like girls if you’ve never been exposed to them?”

“I’ve been exposed to them.” Lu Qi supported his mother. His strength was very gentle, but his words were very firm. “Mom, have you forgotten? I played with many female classmates, and I had no shortage of female friends.”

“Since you can get along with girls, why can’t you try to be together?” Lu Fangshu’s face was filled with tears. She looked sad and a little desperate. “Xiao Qi, ah, from childhood to adulthood, you have always been Mom’s pride. You are so good, you are so good. Mom has nightmares about strangers surrounding you and pointing fingers at you. Mom is so scared…..”

People on the roadside looked over from a distance. Lu Fangshu was still crying. She didn’t realize that she was causing her nightmare to come true. 

Lu Qi felt suffocated. He took a tissue out of his chest bag and patiently wiped Lu Fangshu’s face.

“Mom, haven’t you noticed?” He asked softly. “You are the only one who has been pointing fingers at me. Mom, do the people surrounding me in your nightmare all have your face?”

Lu Fangshu’s sobs were choked in her throat.

“Fangshu? Xiao Qi?” Someone walked over quickly, high heels clicking on the ground. She took Lu Fangshu from Lu Qi’s hands and asked in surprise: “What’s wrong with the two of you?”

It turned out to be Aunt Su, whom they had made an appointment with, meeting them on the roadside.

Lu Qi handed the person to her and whispered: “Please take my mom home later, I have something else to do.”

He looked up and realized that there was a girl standing behind Aunt Su.

She had a sweet, petite appearance, with an oval face and bangs. Her face lit up when she saw Lu Qi, very cute.

How happy, ah.

. . . . . . . 

The scent of meat was strong in the living room. When Lu Qi opened the door and came in, Lin Chunhe was standing in the kitchen with a spatula in his hand. His expression was complicated when he saw him enter, surprised and a little understanding at the same time.

Lu Qi said nothing. He walked to the bedroom, closed the door, and silently packed his clothes.

He recalled that when he was a child, he went to an amusement park and his mom bought him a flower balloon. The mother and son held hands and took a photo underneath the ferris wheel; he recalled the first kitten he rescued, who gradually recovered thanks to the efforts of he and his mom. When the kitten later became ill and died, his mom cried bitterly alongside him. He thought of the notes his mom wrote him every day in high school, reminding him of the weather and recommending clothes for him to wear every day…..

If there was no love, he would be able to give up.

But he also hoped that his mom would be able to love him a little more, enough to overcome her worldly prejudices.

He took out the bank card with the living expenses on it and placed it on the table. He thought of that photo with the flower balloon. It should be in the bin under the bed. He had packed it in a box.

He knelt down, opened the box, and reached out to feel.

His fingertips touched a pile of things, like the spines of books. Lu Qi didn’t remember putting books here, so he took one out and looked at it.

The book title: ‘Psychological Analysis of Homosexuality’

Lu Qi was stunned. He had read this book when he first confirmed his sexual orientation. This was the work of a sociologist, and one of the few professional works on homosexuality in China. The content included the origin, development, characteristics, and current state of homosexual subculture, as well as the real cause of homosexuality and the love lives of homosexuals.

This book helped him understand his sexuality more clearly, but he clearly remembered that he never took this book home. He borrowed this book from the library, and the librarian stared at him several times when he returned it.

And the corners of the book in his hand had rough edges. When he opened it, he found that there were post-its inside with simple notes.

They were Lu Qi’s remaining cat head post-its from high school, and the handwriting was…..

His dad’s.

Lin Chunhe had filled in the blank spaces with his own thoughts, and also noted the dates at the bottom, which made the notes look a bit like a diary.

[January 6. The weather forecast says it will snow heavily in Shanghai. Fangfang stared at the TV for a long time. I know she’s missing our son again. I started reading this book today. I still don’t understand how a man can like a man.]

[March 3. So that’s the case. It seems you really can’t marry a woman or it will hurt her. What the hell is this about quitting? It’s too terrible.  I can’t live without her, it’s like my heart thuds when I see Fangfang. How can I control it?]

The latest note read:

[July 15. Failed to persuade Fangfang. She still plans to introduce Xiao Qi to girls. Son, I’m sorry.]

It turned out that this was the reason his dad apologized that day.

Lu Qi reached out again blankly and took out several other books, all of which were related to homosexual psychology. Some of them were even in English and not translated. Lu Qi didn’t know how Lin Chunhe, who graduated high school with 60 points in English, could read it.

There were even a few danmei novels set in ancient times. He had made notes on the side scolding the scumbag, and was still confused as to why the little white flower didn’t sound the alarm. Was this an uncivilized society? Arbitrarily sleeping together, three people couldn’t put together a complete set of organs. The protagonist team couldn’t produce a pair of high-quality children, so if the father’s line didn’t die out, the mother’s would.

Lu Qi read the complaints and couldn’t help but laugh. Smiling, he covered his eyes and raised his head.

Moisture wetted the palms of his hands.

It turned out that someone was trying to understand him. 

Lu Qi took a deep breath, calmed his mind, and opened the door while holding the fantasy book.

Outside the door, Lin Chunhe was sitting dejectedly at the dining table. When he heard the noise, he raised his head and hurriedly came to greet him. “Xiao Qi…..”

Seeing the book in his hand, the chubby middle-aged man became embarrassed. “T-t-this…..this is your cousin’s…..”

“Dad,” Lu Qi said softly. “You’ll do better in the future.”

Lin Chunhe: ……

The father and son looked at each other for a long moment, and Lin Chunhe smiled sheepishly: “Xiao Qi, don’t let your mom know that I’ve surrendered to the enemy. You haven’t come home in the past few years, and I was angry at first. One year passed and I thought that the next year you wouldn’t be able to bear it anymore, but you are worthy of being born from your mom, and didn’t come back for four years.”

“Those four years were a lifetime.” Lin Chunhe murmured, “Especially after you graduated elementary school, time was like a rocket. This time when you came back, Dad didn’t even recognize you. I thought someone had posted an illustration of a celebrity on my family’s doorstep.”

Lu Qi smiled with reddened eyes, and his voice was a little hoarse. “You said I grew up to look like you.”

“No, no, no.” Lin Chunhe waved his hands. “You still look like your mother.”

Speaking of Lu Fangshu, he frowned again. “Xiao Qi, your mom nearly died when she gave birth to you. After she came out of the ICU, I decided to have you take her last name. I’m not saying this to hold you hostage or anything, I just mean her love for you actually surpasses mine, so she can’t let go even more. I’ve seen that her mental state hasn’t been good this year, and I plan to take her to see a psychiatrist.”

Lu Qi recalled how Lu Fangshu had acted and became worried. “Then I…..”

“You just do what you want to do.” Lin Chunhe patted him on the shoulder. “Although your dad is old, he can take care of his own woman. Do you want to pack your things and leave? Then go quickly. After staying here for a few days, I’ve run out of lobsters in the store.” 

Lu Qi knew that his dad was afraid that his mom would come back and throw everything into disorder again. So he wrapped his arms around his dad and hummed softly in a coquettish voice: “You have to advise your woman well, ah. This family will break up without you.”

“Don’t worry!” Lin Chunhe took the novel and sighed deeply. “The task is difficult, but you have to trust your father’s knowledge.”

. . . . . . . 

He left home once again, but his mood was different from the first time.

It still may be a long process for his mom to understand, but this time he wasn’t alone.

He bought a bus ticket, and the ride lasted an hour. The surrounding scenery eventually changed from tall buildings to rolling wheat fields. At the end of the waves of wheat, there were neat rows of small houses. The bus stopped outside a village. The dirt road into the village went from dirt to cement, but it was still a long walk. Fortunately, Lu Qi met and uncle who was his grandpa’s former student, and he sent him all the way to his grandpar’s old house.

Although his dad would drive back to clean it every now and then, the unoccupied house had a lonely smell. It lacked a human touch, and also lacked the faint fragrance of ink from the old gentleman’s body.

After getting there with difficulty, the sky was already dimming. Fortunately, his dad liked to linger in bed and always set out at noon to clean the house, and since it was too late to return, his mom left bedding there for him. It was all wrapped in dust-proof bags and neatly stacked in the cabinet. They could simply be used after some tidying up. 

Nights in the countryside were much quieter than in the city. Lu Qi had his own small room here, which was left for him by his grandpa. The double bed was specially made by him.

Lu Qi was somewhat afraid of ghosts when he was a child, but after his grandpa departed, he never saw him in his dreams. Lu Qi was no longer afraid, and even vaguely looked forward to it. He took out his mobile phone and found that the signal wasn’t very good, with only three bars. He opened the ‘Go’ game out of boredom, imagining that the computer he was playing against was his grandpa. 

Grandpa, Mom still wants me to be a ‘normal person,’ but Dad has begun to understand me. As long as Mom is willing to accept me, I am willing to wait another one, two, three, or four years. I want her blessing. This is very important to me.

Grandpa, you should be able to understand me, right? Or if you can’t actually understand, you love me enough. Just like Talia loves Nanqiao, enough to reach across her beliefs and accept him.

Mu Nanqiao…..

Thinking of this person, Lu Qi couldn’t play the game anymore. Mu Nanqiao hadn’t talked to him all day today, and there were no pictures of Xiao Sanhua’s dazzling fancy meals.

Worried that the signal wasn’t good, he raised his mobile phone and got out of bed, walking around the room in search of a signal. Suddenly, he heard the rumble of a tractor approaching. 

The volume reached its peak at the door of his small courtyard and seemed to stop. It was completely dark outside, and the headlights shone through the small courtyard to hit the curtains.

Lu Qi opened the door and went out to investigate. He didn’t think it was a thief. What sort of thief drove a tractor to steal things?

He stood at the door. Outside the big iron gate, conversation could be faintly heard. He couldn’t hear what was being said very clearly, but although one of them was speaking loudly, his voice was still slow and calm, his mellow tone absolutely recognizable.

Lu Qi’s eyes widened in astonishment, and he opened the small hole in the big iron gate in disbelief. Bending down, he looked through the small square opening.

The first to notice him was the big brother driving the tractor. He called loudly: “Xiao Qi! You’re back! I saw this man at the village entrance! He said he came to find you!! This boss was in the pitch dark!! He stepped in a foot of mud!! This person is giving me money!! I don’t want it!!!”

After saying this, he drove away on the tractor, leaving behind a tall, straight figure. Standing silently at the roadside, he looked at Lu Qi through the door, his fox-like eyes unable to hide his embarrassment.

Upon closer inspection, he was indeed in a sorry state, with mud hanging on the legs of his trousers. The soupy mud didn’t differentiate between high-end haute couture or Jiangnan factory leather. In short, the shoes looked like they needed to be scrapped, the long black trench coat was stained with dust from the tractor, and when he looked carefully, the unusual brooch was a chicken feather.

Despite this, Mr. Mu’s face was still impeccably handsome, which made this mess look like the work of a famous designer.

“Have you looked enough?” Mu Nanqiao smiled helplessly. “I don’t mind if you look, but there was already a lady on the road who ran into a wall just to look at me. Are you sure posing me here won’t cause an accident?”

Lu Qi returned to his senses and rubbed his eyes in disbelief. He almost thought he was dreaming. Wasn’t Mu Nanqiao in Germany?

But the coolness of the night breeze, the fragrance of the rice, and the familiar sea-like gaze of that person all confirmed that this was reality, a reality within his reach.

The iron gate rattled. Lu Qi unlocked and opened the gate.

Mu Nanqiao had actually rushed back overnight. Once things over there were finished, he didn’t want to stay a minute longer, and returned home immediately.

When Mu Nanqiao saw the person he had missed day and night, he wanted to reach out and hug him, but there was some hesitation. During these few seconds of hesitation, the little deer had already opened the gate and ran out, carrying the cool night breeze as he plunged into his arms. 

He hugged him so tightly. This was not a hug between friends after a long separation. It crossed a line and was too intimate, making it look like they were a couple.

He was only stunned for a moment, then raised his arms and tightly hugged the thin shoulders of the person in his arms. Lowering his head, he kissed the tips of his hair with gentle restraint. “What’s wrong? Детка?”

Listening to his steady heartbeat and feeling his body temperature, somehow the grievances he had suffered for many days no longer had to be endured. Lu Qi buried his face in the other’s shoulder and hugged him for a while without saying anything. 

Mu Nanqiao didn’t rush him, either. Although he was dusty and in disarray, his embrace was firm and strong. 

After a long time, Lu Qi asked in a low voice: “Did a lady really run into a wall?”

“Actually, no.” Mu Nanqiao patted his back gently, as if coaxing a lost child. “I put my collar up and didn’t let her see. I have male virtue.”

Lu Qi chuckled and rubbed the moisture from the corners of his eyes against this virtuous person’s collar.