Yuder remembered the moment when he had first kissed Kishiar after returning to the past.
A burning desire that swallowed hesitation and resistance in an instant. Even though he knew that the result of the choice he had willingly made was nothing more than a simple touch of skin that anyone could experience, for Yuder Aile, it was a world-shaking revelation.
What had the sharp sensation of offering something internal, something existing within his flesh, to another without any protective barrier felt like? The momentary satisfaction and thrill of drinking in the other's essence in return for giving his own? Even now, everything felt as vivid as if it had just happened.
In the invisible entanglement, there was no chaos as he had anticipated. Only his existence and Kishiar's were distinct in a world he could perceive. He doubted he would ever forget that moment, so enormous and seemingly eternal.
Whenever they repeated the same action afterward, the crimson desire didn't become more familiar; it only intensified. Right now, it was almost at its peak.
Even as he felt Kishiar lifting him up and moving towards some unknown destination, Yuder remained tightly clutched and focused solely on the kiss. Anything less would not have sufficed to quell the storm-like impulse raging within him. The turbulent emotions were neither skillful nor smooth, but Kishiar fully accepted them, though it did not imply leisure.
As Yuder's lips and tongue intertwined, his body responded intensely. In equal measure, Kishiar's breath and gaze were also shaken. Their eyes, wide open so as not to lose sight of each other, continued to focus on the same spot even as they fell onto the bed.
Yuder felt an invisible energy flowing through his body. Until now, he had occasionally sensed Kishiar's unique scent through the tip of his nose when they were close, but now it revealed itself differently.
Far different from any perfume, the scent unique to a second gender Awakener being deepened like an energy with a will, penetrating Yuder's face, arms and legs that wrapped around Kishiar, and even deeper areas where no clothes covered. It felt like entrusting his entire body to an invisible current.
It wasn't just Kishiar's scent that took on such a form. Yuder could sense that something that had left him was penetrating into Kishiar just as intensely. It was a foreign sensation that he had never felt before in either his past or present life, but its nature felt instinctual.
This was the scent that Yuder had carried ever since his second gender manifestation. Because one normally could not perceive one's own scent, this was the first time he had truly become aware of its existence.
People without second gender could only know it through smell, so they often mistook it for a unique body odor. But the scent he actually felt was somewhat different. In certain situations, it intensified to reveal its presence clearly, perceivable not just through the sense of smell.
"Do you feel it?" Kishiar momentarily pulled away from Yuder's lips and deeply inhaled along Yuder's neck.
"It feels like you're captivating me and pulling me to the ends of the earth."
It was a remarkably accurate description. After all, the scent of Kishiar that had penetrated into Yuder's body was evoking the same sensation.
In a way, it was similar to the sensation he had felt when he drank alcohol laced with the blood of a monster. Yet, what existed now was far hotter and more intense than what he remembered from back then. The fact that they could feel this way just from mere contact struck him as astonishing.
"I feel the same," Yuder replied.
Upon hearing the soft-spoken reply, Kishiar grinned with delight. Yuder slid his hands into his golden locks, enveloping him as if holding onto the man who had just kissed his neck. The feeling of his soft and silky hair wrapping around his fingers alone ignited a heat within him, somewhere deep in his belly.
'More.'
He wanted to touch more.
He wanted to entwine further, to share even more.
As Kishiar's hungry touch traced the tips of Yuder's pale ears, the usually hidden nape of his neck, and his broad shoulders, he also moved his lips to the vulnerable area below Yuder's ear, to the collarbone, and to the moist lips. Despite the absence of force, Yuder found himself gasping for breath, his waist involuntarily twitching.
"Ah...ah."
As if wanting to be even closer, Yuder embraced him tightly and suddenly felt the distinct, heavy warmth of another being near his legs.
'Ah...'
A moment of clarity allowed Yuder to recall a time not long after they had arrived in Tainu. They had entangled in a similar way on a sofa that was now damaged and replaced. Through that experience, Yuder understood just how much Kishiar was restraining himself physically.
The brief promise that Yuder had made—that once he fully recovered from his injuries and regained his strength, he would no longer be able to hold them back—had finally come to fruition right before them.
Looking at the shadow between Kishiar's legs, which felt hotter and more imposing than in his memory, Yuder felt not fear or reluctance but a sense of eager welcome for a long-awaited presence.
Kishiar, in turn, had forgotten none of the small conversations and promises he had shared with Yuder. The feeling of this affirmation was overwhelmingly certain.
A deep thrill surged up swiftly, resonating within their throat.
"...You kept your promise."
Catching his breath, Kishiar lifted his face, slightly furrowing his brows as he smiled.
"I said I would, didn't I?"
"..."
"Actually, I was thinking of holding back until we returned to the capital... but the moment I touched you, I couldn't think of anything else."
Anything else. In a low voice, almost breaking, he whispered repeatedly and met their lips once again. As if the eye of the most violent storm is actually the calmest place, so too were Kishiar's eyes.
Yuder tugged on the fabric hanging precariously on the man's shoulders, a piece of clothing that was close to ripping. Their bodies entwined deeply without further words. The buttons on Yuder's shirt popped off somewhere, Kishiar's soft cloth around his neck was not only removed but ripped, yet they had no care for such trivialities.
As their lips continuously met, their bare skin was exposed faster than in any of their previous encounters. Yuder tilted his head as he felt the heat Kishiar firmly held in one hand below.
"Mm…"
For the second time, they were directly aligned. Every time the calloused palm, toughened by daily sword practice, massaged their respective organs, waves of pleasure so intense it felt like his brain would combust flickered through his mind.
Yet, what captivated Yuder's gaze more than anything else, then and now, was Kishiar's face.
A face completely entranced by Yuder, unable to think of anything else.
Under the bright light, the fervor of a man feeling the same pleasure and reacting to the same sensations was more vivid than anything else.
"Ah... Ah, hm. Ah."
Every point of contact between them trembled with ravenous desire and fierce joy. In the midst of a yearning to be even closer, a poignant and agonizing warmth surged up from within.
Yuder overlaid his own hand atop Kishiar's. As their hands—backs and fingers intertwined—caressed their exposed flesh, Kishiar grimaced and clenched his teeth. Even his face, stripped of its smile, was breathtakingly beautiful.